Disclaimer – I own nothing

A/N – Well, here's another oneshot, this time first person in Jeff Hardy's point of view.

#3

Pairing(s) – Lita/Jeff, Lita/Edge

All My Fault

I let out a long sigh as I lay back on the bed in my hotel room. A lot of people complain about the hotel rooms, saying the beds are uncomfortable and they would just rather be home.

Me, I couldn't really care less. As far as I'm concerned, the various hotels I've stayed at are like a bunch of different homes for me.

It's not that I don't like my house; I just don't mind hotels.

Lots of them give free breakfast, and that's always a bonus. I can't get that at my real home.

Anyway, as I lay back on my bed, watching some weird old movie, I began to think.

What was I thinking about? The same thing I always seem to be thinking about. Her.

She's always on my mind, and there's never anything I can do about it. I've told myself a million times over that no matter how many times I think of what could have been, that won't make it actually happen.

It never works though; my thoughts always drift back to the various times when I could have revealed my feelings and didn't. I really wish I had said something to her, but I could never work up enough courage.

It all started back in the Team Xtreme days. At first, it was just Matt and I, The Hardy Boyz. Then, she came along and Team Xtreme was formed. I'm not going to lie; I developed the biggest freakin' crush on her almost right away.

But I was out of luck, she like Matt, and he liked her. They were the couple, I was the other. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I wished I was in Matt's shoes back then. When she'd kiss him, I'd wish it was me. When she'd sit on his lap and whisper things in his ear, I'd wish she were on my lap.

She never even found out.

I'm good at keeping secrets, and I pride myself on that. In fact, there was only ever one person who figured out that I liked her.

That person wasn't my brother, or even a close friend for that matter.

That person was Edge.

I don't know, and will probably never know, exactly how the hell he found out, but he's known at least since our TLC match at Wrestlemania X-7.

I walked backstage after the match, aching like hell from that damn Swanton Bomb of the ladder, (And a few other things too) and he walked right up to me, carrying one of the World Tag Team Championship title belts.

The tag team titles that I had wanted so badly. The tag team titles that I had practically killed myself for, and still not won.

"You like her." That was what he said.

I remember frowning, and then asking him what the hell he was talking about. Probably because of the mix of adrenaline and pain, I was a little out of it. I think I was also a little pissed off at him for the Spear.

I had been dangling from the tag titles a long ways above the ring after the ladder I had climbed had been taken out from under me by Bubba Ray Dudley. I was trying to hold on and get the titles down at the same time, and it took me a second to see him.

Edge, that blonde haired bastard, was standing on an enormous ladder just across from me. Before I had a chance to think of some way to get out of the situation, he jumped off the ladder and Speared me.

And damnit, that one hurt. A normal Spear hurts like hell; this one had the potential to wreck my career. If I had just let go, that still would've been a long way to fall, but getting winded and then driven all the way down to the ring on my back, that really sucked. I was actually surprised that he didn't break me in half. Literally.

Anyway, the bastard answered my question about what he was talking about.

"Lita. You like her."

I was probably wide-eyed by then. "What?"

"You heard me. I know you like her. I can tell. You should have seen your face when Bubba and D-von hit her with the 3-D." He said smugly.

I was at a loss for words. I couldn't figure out how he knew. Certainly the look on my face after she got 3-Ded wouldn't have been enough… Any of her friends would have looked horrified. That move is brutal!

He smiled. "See, I knew it. You're speechless."

I got defensive. "I'm not speechless, I'm just-"

He cut me off. "Jeff, I have a little advice for you. If you like her, go get her before someone else swoops in and takes her."

"But Matt-" I started, but again, he cut me off.

"Matt just aint right for her. Don't worry about him. You want her, and we both know it. Take my advice, Jeff. Win her heart before someone else does."

With that, he walked away, leaving me standing there staring after him like an idiot.

It wasn't until several years later that I got the secret message he had given me on that night.

Somehow, he had known that she and Matt wouldn't work out. When he had told me to get in there and sweep her off her feet before someone else came along, he had been warning me.

He had liked her too.

As much as I hate him, I have to admit that Edge did a halfway decent thing that night. Somehow, he had figured out that I really liked Lita. He had liked her as well, but when he realized that I was really in love with her, he had given me a chance to beat him to her.

When I didn't take any of the opportunities given to me after a few years, he had taken her for himself.

I really hate to put it that way, but it's what happened.

Edge had stolen Lita from Matt, from Kane, from me.

When I finally realized why he had told me to go after her the night of Wrestlemania, I hated myself. As much of a jerk as he was, Edge had given me four years to get her before he made his move. Even when I was in TNA, I could have done something. I could have told her. I had been given four years. Four… fucking… years.

I hate thinking about could haves, but there are just too many of them.

I could have told her in the Team Xtreme days. I could have told her after Matt and I split up and both went solo. I could have told her during the whole Kane fiasco. But did I? No.

I'll probably regret it forever.

She loves him now. Him. Edge. Not me. Not Jeff Hardy.

I have just about no chance of getting her, she's too happy. I can't believe he actually treats her well off-screen, but damnit, he does.

Even if I get a chance to make her mine, I won't take her from him. He already gave me four years to get her, and I didn't use them well. It's only fair that if he is bold enough to tell her how he feels, and she feels the same way, he should have her.

Don't get me wrong, if they split up, I'll go after her. If he treats her bad, I'll kill him. But as of right now, she's happy with him, and I just can't bring myself to ruin her happiness.

As much as I hate to admit it, Edge deserves her more than me. He took his chance, I didn't.

I always have a shred or two of hope, but in all truthfulness, I don't think I'll ever get my dream girl.

And it's all my own fault.