Author's Note: This is when Ritsuka first plays the Wisdom Resurrection game, and goes on there. Just a bunch of thoughts and weirdness going on in this fic, so yeah. : It's Ritsuka's thinking at first and then Soubi's, and back and forth here and there. It's not anything different, just some thoughts going on while all this is taking place. Read and review, dearies. Oh, and I don't own Loveless, so sad.
Games, Pain, and that One Question.
Are you really Loveless?
I sat there and stared at the question for a long time. Pondering it quietly to myself, turning my nose up a little at first and then looking down to the keyboard. Was I? Was it obvious? I mean, I had friends and Soubi, but that's different. And mother, but that's also different. Maybe the only love I ever had was Seimei, and maybe that is all I'll ever have at all.
Soubi said 'I love you' to me nearly every day, although I can't remember the last time a family member said it. My friends 'like' me so that's close, isn't it? All these questions blow my mind, I'd rather not think on it right now. I have too many things to take care of, too many questions to ask other people and not myself.
"Oh well…I'll answer yes."
"Hello…Ritsuka? What? The note? You understand what it means?"
"Did you check your e-mail?"
"No, sorry. Not yet…that name I'm using, that's…a mistake, so don't think it means anything!"
"Really? I'll come over now. Don't go inside the game by yourself."
"I'm going in!"
"You can't." "I'm running out
of time, so I'm going in!"
"Time?"
"There's a rendezvous at 00:05…I'm hanging up…Soubi! Answer me! I'm hanging up!"
"Alright."
Soubi was acting too protective of me, and I wasn't enjoying it one bit. That's all I could think about as I went through the levels on my own, without Soubi's help. I didn't need his help…I didn't need him. Not now. I don't even know why he wanted to come over anyway, it's just a game, right? A game, and that's all it was. Or at least I hoped so.
It wouldn't be long until I would find where I was supposed to go that's what the note said, I hoped. I hoped that was right, or else I had screwed up completely on even trying out this game at all.
"Welcome LOVELESS. I have been expecting you."
I sat there and stared at the computer screen, so far this was going fairly easily. They had been waiting for me? That was odd, this wasn't expected…
"Are you 'Septimal Moon'? Are you going to tell me what I want to know?"
"I don't like stupid children…why don't you think for yourself?"
She was getting on my nerves already. I wasn't stupid, maybe the other Ritsuka was stupid, but not me. I was different now and I didn't need anyone telling me otherwise. When I thought about it, I wondered why I was even bothering with this. What if I woke up tomorrow and the old Ritsuka came back? Then all this information about Seimei's death would be lost and it wouldn't matter, what would happen then? I'd never know, and that would just kill me.
"Now then, I will answer only "yes" or "no" to your questions. Ask me anything."
"Was Seimei killed by Septimal Moon?"
"Yes." "Are you Septimal Moon?"
"Yes."
"Did you kill Seimei?"
"No."
This wasn't making any sense at all, this is wasting my time completely. Maybe if Soubi was here he could've helped…a little.
"No? Didn't Septimal Moon kill him? You just said…"
"Be careful. I will only answer "yes" or "no". And I don't feel like answering the same question twice."
Bitch.
"All right! In other words…Septimal Moon isn't just you."
"That would be…yes."
"Is Septimal Moon a group?"
"Yes."
"Is Septimal Moon an organization?"
"Yes."
"Is Septimal Moon large in size?"
"Yes."
What the hell? So more than one person had to do with Seimei's murder? This was going to be harder than I thought. At first I thought it was just one person that had to do with it. And maybe if I found that person I could get some answers, and I don't have much patience to go through thirty million people…But, I'll do it. Just for Seimei.
"What's the matter, Loveless? Don't bore me."
"Is Septimal Moon, uh…is it made up of seven people?"
"No."
"…was that last question important?"
"Yes. It was very important."
What did she mean by that?
"Just now…you said that Septimal Moon is not seven people, and that was an important question, right?"
"Yes."
"Is the number of people important?"
"Yes."
"Is it, maybe, six people?"
"Yes. That is correct."
It's six people. How was that important? Was there once seven people and now there is six? Is that's what so important? Was Seimei part of them was he…
"Loveless…? He disconnected…"
It had been a while since we'd hung up. Or rather, Ritsuka hung up on me. I was on the way to his house now, it was rather dark outside but that never bothered me. Sometimes people didn't like getting out on the streets at night around here but, I wasn't afraid of anything out in the dark.
I was there in no time, I knew the route to get to his home by heart, I'd memorized the first time I ever came here.
Once I was up in his bedroom I glanced around, and was surprised to find him asleep at his computer desk. A small smile grazed my lips, he was adorable. It wasn't too surprising that he had fallen asleep, he was used to waking up early and it was late. Later than usual whenever he was used to sleeping much earlier than this.
I tried to be quiet as I went over to him and lifted him up from his place, he was a pretty sound sleeper. I shouldn't have any problems. The boy wasn't even in his pajamas yet. It was obvious he had planned to be up playing this game most of the night. Poor thing.
I had managed to get him into his pajamas without waking him, which was surprising. I was sure he'd sit right up and start yelling at me, call me a pervert and force me out of the house. However, that wouldn't last long, he'd send me a message on my phone soon enough after that. Or call to check on me, that's how it would've happened.
Eventually I had him laid down and covered up with the blanket on his bed. He was sleeping so peacefully…he needed it though. I was half tempted to stay the night there with him, but I wouldn't risk it. He would be angry at me when he saw me there in the morning anyways.
I gave him a goodnight kiss, and I left as quietly as possible.
In the morning I woke up as normally and blinked up at the ceiling. Last night…what had happened? I was playing Wisdom Resurrection and asking the questions when…I had fallen asleep? But I didn't remember getting into bed…
Wait…
My pajamas?
The school day was not so great. I'd gotten in trouble for
sleeping in class. Which I never did, which was why sensei had gotten onto me so horribly when I did it. I knew once I got home I'd have to sleep a lot to catch up and stay up for part of the night, and sleep the rest of the time until I had to wake up. That's what I should do. It would be best, because I hadn't gotten enough answers about Septimal Moon and Seimei just yet. There was more to be answered.
As I left school I was surprised that Soubi wasn't there waiting for me. It's not as if I asked him to, but I was so used to it…and other times I yelled at him for it. But when he was absent, it made me feel empty. More empty than usual. Then I began to panic, what if something was wrong? That had to do with Seimei? What if he was avoiding me or something had happened to him?
That's when Yuiko told me he had been there but then he left. Why had he left? Did he not want to see me? No that wasn't like him…"something came up"? That wasn't really like him either…or what it?
I found my phone and dialed in his number, setting it to my ear. I was eager to hear his voice, and that the tone of it wasn't worried or distressed in any sort of way…but knowing Soubi. He would hide the emotion from me completely.
I stood there for the longest time and the ringing of the phone cut off all of a sudden…
He hit ignore.
He…hit ignore? What the hell?
Why do you
do this to me?
I left Yuiko as soon as possible, I didn't feel like explaining anything to her simple mind. Not now, when I didn't feel like it or have the patience for it at all.
I called him dozens of times and he never picked up. Something was very wrong, he was doing something wrong, something that he shouldn't be. And he was keeping it from me…that's not how our relationship was going to work at all.
"Hello? Natsuo…where are you?"
He answered the phone!
"Soubi?!" I knew I sounded pretty stressed out, why wouldn't I be? I had a damn good reason, he was hiding something. Or bad things had happened and I wanted to know, right now!
"Ritsuka…" He didn't sound well at all, almost in pain really. I'd never heard him sound like that before. Like he was weak or something along those lines. This wasn't good.
"Soubi! You jerk!" However I wasn't holding back any, that was obvious. "You were thinking, "uh oh!" I heard it! Don't hang up!" I was nearly screaming at him, which I knew wasn't a good idea either, but I was angry and I needed to get my point across.
"Don't hang up…don't you dare. I'll kill you if you do." And for a few seconds after I said that it was silent, I even looked at the screen of my phone. Just to check to make sure the conversation was still connected, and it was.
"Is that…an order?"
"That's right. It's an order, got it? Tell me where you are!" I was almost too afraid to know where he was or what state he was in. No. I wasn't afraid, I couldn't be afraid. Seimei would think I was weak. I'm not weak.
"I don't want to."
Oh he was pissing me off.
"No. You tell me. This is an order. I'm coming to get you!"
He couldn't see me like this, I was supposed to be the strong one. I wanted him to keep on thinking of me as capable of protecting him, of being his fighter unit. Not some idiot laying in the grass unable to move. But that was the thing, I couldn't move…they had really done me in this time. I would be fine, I knew. Ritsuka still didn't need to see me like this.
I heard his footsteps soon, and I hoped it was him at least. I had that sense though, it was Ritsuka. My Ritsuka, he was here. At least I wasn't alone anymore.
The boy was at my side in no time pestering me with questions and what was wrong, how I was hurt and if I could move. I didn't really want to answer him because I knew I would have to explain so much…I didn't have the energy to explain it.
"Who're you?" I heard a voice, not Ritsuka's, but another. Thank god, I was saved from having to say anything to him. At least for now.
He was asleep and they kept telling me that he was fine. I had to believe that above all…I hated to see him hurt. It hurt me on the inside, in my heart. For some odd reason…that feeling kind of scared me, actually.
Was this feeling bothering me because I loved Soubi?
Did I love him?
Are you really Loveless?
Okay…so…there you go. I know it ended kind of crappily, but I don't care. I was anxious to get it done. So. Whoo. :D