A/N: Hey, my name's Tamara. The following story is co-written with my best friend Brittany. It was meant to be a parody at first, but it turned into something much different. The first chapter was written at eleven at night, so pardon the horribleness. The story gets much better though, somewhere around chapter eight. It's already completed. Please give it a chance. Merci mes amis, if you review, that is.

A Talking Tree

"My wings are tired and Brom needs attention. I discovered a good place, about two miles ahead of where you are- and I can't read anymore," Tamara said, closing Eragon.

"Why not?!" Tamara's best friend Brittany groaned, lazily poking the campfire.

"Because I can barely see. It's after midnight."

"But does Brom live or die?!" Brittany demanded. Tamara didn't answer but took a swig of Captain Morgan.

"Brom better not die! He's my favorite character," Brittany rambled on.

"He'll die, you can be assured of that," Tamara said, rolling onto her elbows, her face facing the flickering flames.

"How can you be so sure?" Brittany asked desperately.

"Two reasons," Tamara responded. "One, because he's your favorite character and life's unfair, and two, the guy just got stabbed in the ribs; his internal organs will be a mess."

"That sucks," Brittany moaned.

"I know," Tamara sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm dead tired, and I think it'd be best if I slept off this massive hangover of mine. Well, the hangover I'm sure to get anyways."

Brittany agreed, and soon, both young adults were asleep.

"My wings are tired and Brom needs attention. I discovered a good place, about two miles ahead of where you are," Saphira said.

Saphira landed with a bump in a clearing of the woods. A few minutes later, she was joined by Eragon and Murtagh, riding in haste, eager to help Brom.

Eragon dismounted his horse, and began to head towards Brom, but his attention was drawn away by Murtagh, who had noticed a flickering flame between the trees.

Murtagh said he was going to investigate.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Brittany demanded, regarding the forceful bump that had jarred both her and Tamara awake.

"Shall we investigate?" Tamara suggested.

The two girls left their clearing in the forest and crept quietly towards where they guessed that the noise had come from.

Approximately 125 yards into the woods, the silence was broken by Tamara's voice.

"Ow! Dammit!"

Suddenly, a man's voice came out of the dark. "Who goes there?"

"Woah! It's a talking tree!" Brittany exclaimed.

"Talking tree?" The voice asked out of the darkness.

Not knowing what she had run into, Tamara used her instincts and began to cautiously feel whatever it was she had run into. Whatever it was, it was soft. "I think it's a dude," She muttered.

"I beg your pardon?" The voice asked, sounding offended.

"Or a dudette on steroids."

"I don't understand anything you're saying, but I'm Murtagh."

"I'm Brittany, and that's Tamara."

"Who else is with you?" Murtagh asked.

"No one. Just us," Tamara replied.

"You shall camp with us tonight," Murtagh replied. "Go gather your things. You should know it isn't safe for girls to travel alone in these times."

"Ok then," Tamara said, dragging Brittany, who was spluttering in indignation, towards there camp.

When they got back to their camp, they began to pack their things. It wasn't until Tamara's eyes fell upon the book from last night that she realized something.

"Murtagh! From our book!"

"Oh my gosh!" Brittany exclaimed. "How cool!"

But the surprises weren't over. As Brittany lifted up her pillow, her eyes fell upon a plum purple stone.

"Hey Tamara, look at this!" She called.

Tamara wandered over curiously. "I got one too," She held up a hot pink stone.

"What's taking so long?" Murtagh demanded. His eyes fell upon the stones clutched within the girls' grasp. "You're Dragon Riders, aren't you?"

Both Tamara and Brittany now knew that this was merely an insane dream, and they responded simultaneously, "Hell yeah!"

"Come quickly, both of you," Murtagh said. He led the girls to another clearing, and many things registered at once, but the thing that registered the most was-

"Holy shit," Brittany gasped.

A/N: So, like I said, it gets a lot better! I should also mention that at the time this chapter was written, neither of us had read the book. We had just read the movie. By the time the third chapter is written, I had read Eragon and had started Eldest. Brittany had started Eragon. Brittany only just recently finished Eragon, and has started Eldest, so bear with the continuity errors, such as Brom's explanation of something in chapter six. I think that's the chapter anyway. Please REVIEW! It'll make us happy. If any of you are interested, I have some other fanfiction on my profile (Cap'n Tami Sparrow).