Author's Note: This is for galestrike on tumblr for the Xanlow Exchange 2017. I'm mariyekos on there, so that's the user that will be publishing it rather than eruran (which is also me, but eh). Thank you for participating, as writing this was really fun! I hope you like it, since I took some liberties, but I think it worked out well in the end. I also want to give thanks to dorkpatroller and plakumi, who organized the event. I had a great time doing it this year, and I hope to do something similar again! Now without further ado, on to the story.
The war was over.
After almost two years of fighting and the death of his father, Xander could finally enjoy the peace he had been longing for since Sumeragi's assassination. A peace that would finally be possible, with the war mongering members of Nohr's upper class dead, gone, or silent. It wouldn't be an easy peace, not with the hatred of Hoshidans the Nohrian commoners still held, but it would come. Xander would make sure of it.
"Lord Xander," Laslow called, drawing the man's attention, "I… I have something I need to tell you. Something important."
The retainer looked to the ground with his words, head down and hair covering his eyes. From underneath the grey strands, Xander could make out the slightest pink; what seemed to be a small blush visible on Laslow's cheeks.
Xander smoothed his face and have a short nod. "Of course. What is it?" he asked back, taking a step forward.
Laslow jerked up his head in response, blush confirmed and deepening. "Ah, that's uh. D-do you think we could go somewhere else maybe? As in, not in front of Peri and Niles and the rest?"
The shorter man's nervousness worried Xander, and his face deepened into a frown.
"No need to scowl, Milord! I promise that it's not some excuse for me to run off or do something silly! Truly, I give you my word."
"Laslow…"
"Milord, I'm serious, believe me. I may have run about in the past, but I'm not doing anything to- well… what I want to do here is a lot more meaningful than that, at the very least."
Laslow's eyes were hidden from view again as the man turned to his right, hair serving as a shield. Whatever he wanted to say to Xander must have been serious, and the soon-to-be king of Nohr found himself dreading the conversation approaching.
That didn't stop him from going toward it though. His resolve was strong, and he wouldn't back down from a simple talk with a friend because he was scared it wouldn't turn out well. Heavens help him if he couldn't manage something so small, because his later meetings with the Nohrian council would be several times harsher. What Laslow wanted to do was just chat. Maybe about a heavy topic, but it would be fine. Xander just had to follow the man. He just had to gather some courage and ask. It would work out. It had to.
The blond put a hand on his retainer's shoulder, and Laslow jumped. He muttered out some excuse about the cold metal being the reason for his sudden jerk, and Xander smiled. The little things like that were what made spending time with Laslow so enjoyable - the small reactions he had never failed to brighten Xander's day.
"Calm down, Laslow." Their eyes met. "If you have a place in mind, then let's get going."
"Of course, Milord."
With a quick bow, Laslow walked toward Xander's chambers, gliding through the halls with the same grace he always held.
Even in battle Laslow moved with fluidity, a beauty that Xander could never hope to emulate. Sure, Siegfried and he worked well together, striking down those who found themselves in their path. But that was a union of power; Laslow and his blade held a union of elegance. Laslow slid out of harm's way while Xander let blows glance off his sides; Xander finished his combat in a single blow while Laslow got in two in the same time, the retainer's strikes making up for what they lacked in power with speed.
The two of them were different, and Xander could only wonder how different they would become once the war was put away for good. Battle was what brought them together, their common interest and ability they could connect in. Once the war was over, would the two of them drift apart? Even before war broke out, he and Laslow were frequently sent out to quell rebellions or participate in other combat related instances on Garon's orders. That's where he and Laslow had found their common ground. When peace came, would their relationship fizzle out?
"We're here, Lord Xander," Laslow told the blond, holding the door to Xander's room open.
Xander gave Laslow a quick thanks and walked in, moving to strip his armor while waiting for the start of their conversation. The door was shut behind him.
"..." Tight lips stayed shut while Xander moved, and the prince grew concerned. What was it that Laslow couldn't get himself to say…?
"Laslow, what's-"
"Milord-I'm-so-sorry-but-I-have-to-go," Laslow burst out, the words melding with each other due to the speed at which they were said.
Xander blinked, surprised at the turn of events. "Ah, do you want to pick up the conversation another time, then?"
"No I…" Laslow shook his head fiercely. He let out a large breath. "I don't mean I have to go as in I have to leave this room for the moment, or that I don't want to talk to you. Because I do! Uh, want to talk to you, I mean, not not talk to you. And I'd love to talk to you for a while more but… what I want to say is…".
The loud thump of one of Xander's armored gloves onto his desk made Laslow look up.
The two of them were quiet for over a minute.
"So that's what you meant back then," Xander said, his question more of a statement than anything. "When you asked me how I would feel about you leaving some day…"
"Lord Xander, I-"
"I gave you permission then. Do you really think I would change my mind like that? You're your own person, Laslow. I won't take your future or past away from you because of any selfish wish to keep you here. If you want to leave, then so be it. Just remember to stay safe. Whatever you do, stay alive and stay well, and find a lasting happiness. That's all I can ask of you"
Xander's voice was firm, and the crown prince looked out the window of his room. Silence reigned yet again.
"..."
"Now then, since we've had our conversation, would you mind leaving me alone for a few minutes? It's been a long day, and I'm itching to get clean. I'll have one of the maids draw me a bath, so feel free to go about your business. Have a good day Laslow."
Xander hoped the his reflection in the window wasn't clear enough for Laslow to see the tears building in his eyes. It was a parting of someone he'd only known for a few years, and it was his decision. There was nothing to fret over.
"...Why couldn't you have gone back on your word just this once…?" Xander heard from behind him.
Laslow's voice was barely a whisper, and cracked in the middle of the sentence. When the door quickly opened and shut behind him, Xander realized Laslow hadn't meant for him to hear.
With a swift movement Xander threw his other glove to the floor, punching the wall with his free hand.
"Damnit Laslow, you can't just do that…"
Xander's cheeks were wet soon after. When a maid, probably notified by Laslow, entered, he was in the same position: head down, one hand on the wall, the other still strained from throwing his glove, and hunched over. She hurried over to him to ask what was wrong, nervous out of her mind after walking in on the highest figure in Nohr while he was so distraught. Xander made up some flimsy excuse about an old wound bothering him while he was taking off his armor, and sent the maid off to begin heating the bathwater. He couldn't care less about what she thought of him in that moment. All he could think about was how much he regretted what he had said to Laslow, and about the growing worry he held about what would happen to his retainer and their relationship.
Figuring the bath would help calm him, Xander slid in once the maid left, remaining in the water until it had grown cold enough to make him shiver. Nohrian nights were cold, and he'd yet to light the wood in his fireplace. Usually one of the castle maids or butlers would do it, but they were in such a scramble trying to clean up the castle after the war and before the next council that they must have forgotten. He didn't really mind.
After dressing and returning to his bedroom he found it was as he left it, with one key difference. Sitting on his bed was a letter, his own name on the outside. The handwriting was one he'd seen hundreds of times before.
"Laslow?" Xander breathed, picking the item up.
When he read it his heart dropped, a second reading worsening his mood further.
He slammed open his door to run to where Laslow had mentioned he'd be departing from, but paused at a high yelp.
"Woah! Lord Xander almost hit Peri there! That would have been bad. Peri doesn't like getting hit with doors. But what's got-" Peri was cut off by Xander.
"Where's Laslow?" Xander practically growled, his female retainer's cheerfulness not mixing well with his dark mood.
"Huh? Laslow left. He said something about going on a very long trip, and that he had permission. He ran into Peri on his way out with a letter he gave Peri to give to you before he left. Here you go!" Peri pulled out a letter from behind her back and handed it to Xander, who read it over immediately. It was similar to the letter Xander had found on his bed.
Laslow had left for his homeland.
It was a one way trip.
He was sorry their last talk had been so bad.
But he had to leave that night.
Even if that meant ending his relationship with Xander on a down note.
He wished he could have stayed, but there were people waiting for him.
Laslow was sorry for leaving in the first place. It was something he didn't want to do, but when put between two impossible choices he stuck with the commitment he had made first. He was sorry. Very sorry. Sorry twelve times over, plus three apologies, four regrets, two guilts, and a mention of remorse.
Xander had counted on his seventh read.
"Is there anything Peri can do to help Lord Xander?" the girl asked, surprisingly quiet. It seemed even she could tell something was wrong with Xander, as down as he was.
"...Put out a request. I'm in need of a second retainer. I want someone suitable by my coronation."
Peri nodded heartily and bounced away, leaving Xander alone in the doorway to his room.
Silently he walked inside and fell back on his bed, hands in his hair.
He dozed off like that, only waking when Leo walked in teary eyed for the first time in years, lonely and conflicted. An hour later Camilla joined them on Xander's bed, the three sitting in depressed silence as Elise dreamed sweet dreams in her room three doors away, the only one of them to be left with a full guard.
What would have happened if he had told Laslow "stay"...?
Five Years Later
"Milord, are you sure you want to go there? There are much more… reputable places we can find a meal," Iffis asked, standing at Xander's right.
"Yes, I am. It's been a long day, and I can hear your stomach rumble. It's been six or seven years since I last visited, but back when I did I heard nothing but praises for the food here. From what I hear they also have some sort of show, so we'll get additional entertainment as we eat. I don't see why we shouldn't," Xander responded.
Iffis bit his lip in response. "Yes there is that, but still, I am unsure of whether or not it would be good to enter. Depending on what kind of entertainment is provided in the show, your name might be damaged, and it's my duty as your second retainer to do my best to maintain your image on top of your health. And with how Peri is, it really does fall upon me to get this right."
"Iffis," Xander began, "I know it is, and that it does. You've held that position since the war ended. We've been together five years. And since you've been at my side for half a decade, I can tell when you mean something and when you don't. You're not doing a great job of convincing me that you don't want to enter."
A small exhale from the addressed man was the only response Xander got, so the king walked through the door in front of him.
The inside of the tavern was loud and bustling, so no one payed the two mind as they entered, something Xander appreciated. It was also late, and both the inside and outside of the establishment were dimly lit, so it was hard to distinguish one's features in the room. That and Xander had left the more ornamental pieces of his regular outfit back in the inn they were staying at in favor of a large cloak, which helped him keep away from drawing the stares that came with being leader of one of the two largest countries in the world. Of course, his stature meant he did get the attention of a few people, but they soon looked away after deeming him uninteresting. He was also quite muddy from several rainy days of riding through low forest and fighting the Faceless that several rogue dark mages had conjured, so he didn't look at all like one would expect a king to.
Iffis hummed quietly. "Wow, it's been a while since we've gone somewhere and been so ignored. I hope it's not for any underhand reasons."
"Paranoia can be good, but for now can we simply enjoy our time here? Let us find a table and relax, since it may be a few days before we get a good meal again." Iffis sighed and relented to Xander's request, never able to effectively refuse his lord.
The two took their place at a table right by the door, as Iffis' paranoia meant he wouldn't let Xander go any further from the exit. That much the retainer could hold his stance on.
Xander ordered beef stew and Iffis the same, the two hungry for something warm and filling. As they waited for their food to arrive, a well dressed man walked up to the stage, quieting the room.
"Now then," he announced, mustache bouncing up and down with each syllable, "it's time for the final performance of the night. Everyone who's been here for the last four hours getting drunk already knows who this is going to be, which is a lot of you, so I'm just gonna say that this next performer is a new addition to our crew, and a master of one of the most unique dances I've ever seen. Give it up for our closer, you crazy drunks!"
Applause echoed in the room, as did several whistles and screams of support. It died down as the performer walked out, the golden rings at their sides ringing with each step they took.
The closer was dressed in midnight blue,translucent cloth forming billowing pants which revealed toned legs strengthened to the point of being well muscled, but not overly bulky. Underneath were opaque silver shorts running from their owner's waist to mid thigh, a relief to Xander who wasn't ready to watch that kind of show. They sparkled with each movement their wearer made.
The golden rings and discs at the performer's waist settled softly on their pants, pressing the fabric down where it would otherwise flow freely. They were matched by large rings at the performer's wrists, as well as cuffs on their upper arms. The translucent midnight fabric also ran from the cuffs down to their owner's wrists, accentuating arms muscled in a different way than the toned legs Xander had noted, but still well built.
The person on the stage had a short top, running from their collar bone to the bottom of their ribs, in a silver matching that of their shorts. It too had gold ornaments, with a ring coming down from the neck and small plated discs along the upper edge.
Lastly, the performer had on a veil running from just under their eyes to the bottom of their neck, masking the majority of their face from view.
What was most interesting though, and drew Xander's eyes the quickest, was the person's hair color. It was a soft pink that Xander had never seen on a person. It reminded him of the flowers that peppered the books Elise would read with him once upon a time. And frankly still did, when she was feeling down and wanted to have a little bonding time. Some things never changed, it seemed.
His vision of the performer was blocked after that thought though, his server stepping in front of Xander to set down two bowls of stew. The server glanced back at the performer on stage with a smile, likely following Xander's vision.
"He's beautiful, ain't he? I ain't never seen a guy like him before, and I don't think I ever will again once he leaves. Tonight's the last night of his contract, actually. Which sucks for us, 'cause he's even drawn some people from the neighboring towns with his performances. He's been pretty good for business. Have you ever seen someone move so…. So…. Softly? Smoothly? I know I haven't, so he's been a real treat. I keep wantin' to ask him where he's from, but I've never gotten the chance. The one time I did start to, some drunks behind us started cat calling him thinkin' he was a lady or something, and he blushed so hard his face got redder than his hair. Then he sprinted into his room in the back, and I lost my chance. I mean, I know he's got pink hair and you can't see his face, but no lady's muscled like that, y'know?"
"I wouldn't say that," Xander answered, shifting in an attempt to see past the man in front of him. "I know quite a few women that are even more well built than he is." Peri, for one. Who would have a great time tearing into the server if she had heard what he said. Even five years without war had failed to really change the woman, despite the fact that she seemed to go on fewer rampages. That was just because people had learned what not to do around her, so she had less reason to.
The bartender spotted Xander and Iffis' server standing around then, and yelled at him to get back to work, making the man leave dejectedly. A gift.
Without the man in the way, Xander could get a good look at the performer. And he had to agree. The performer was the most amazing dancers Xander had ever seen. Only one other person he had ever known moved like that. But they were separated for good, as much as Xander hated to think it, so watching that dancer would likely be the last chance Xander would ever get to see the sort of thing going on.
He was filled with longing at the thought. Maybe he could ask the dancer to visit Castle Krakenburg after his shift ended? No, that was wrong. He couldn't do that, no matter how much the dancer reminded him of that person. No matter how much Xander wanted to hold on to his memory. They weren't him anyway, so it would never be enough. A dance was always nice, but without that person's face and character behind it, it wouldn't ever mean anything. It wouldn't mean enough.
"Milord, I suggest you eat before it gets cold," Iffis said, pushing Xander's bowl closer to the king.
"...Of course."
Xander took a few bites from his bowl, looking at Iffis who was eating with carefully measured spoonfuls. The king set down his own utensil after a short time however, moving his attention back to the dancer on the stage.
Then, their gazes met.
The dancer's eyes widened, and he almost tripped. With the grace of a professional he turned his near tumble into a sweeping turn though, saving himself from mishap. No extra noise came from the crowd, so it seemed Xander was the only one who noticed anything had strayed from the norm.
But the dancer wasn't the only one affected. Xander could feel his heart pound. That gaze… he recognized it. And that little jerk of surprise… It may have been five years, but he knew it as well as he knew the feel of Siegfried in his hand.
Had he come back?
Was what Xander saw real?
Did he… would he speak to Xander if the king walked up to him?
"Milord?" Iffis questioned, concerned. "Are you okay? You look very shaken. Is something wrong?" Then under his breath: "I knew we shouldn't have come here."
The dancer turned again and his back went to the crowd, breaking eye contact with Xander.
The blond shook his head. "No, nothing is wrong. I was surprised momentarily, but I'm fine now. And don't say that. I think coming here was a good idea. No, I'm certain it was a good idea. Do me a favor and return to the inn once you finish your meal, will you? Our room is terribly messy, and I'd like to return to a slightly cleaner environment."
"Of course, Milord."
Iffis nodded and went back to his meal, leaving Xander to poke at his stew while he watched the dancer who just had to be him move his way around the stage.
By the time the show was over, Iffis had already left, and so Xander was left alone. He pulled several gold coins from his pocket, leaving the pay for the meal as well as a tip worth more than the food cost on the table. Then he exited the building and walked around to the back of the tavern, waiting to see if what he thought he saw was as he thought he saw it.
Twenty minutes later a cloaked figure walked out, holding a large bag and looking around. Xander cleared his throat, and the figure jumped, the movement knocking off their hood to reveal pink hair.
"So, is this what you really look like? I'll say, I wasn't expecting pink, but it looks great on you."
It was a risk, starting like that, but Xander knew it had to be him , even if he hadn't gotten direct confirmation. So he went out on a limb, and said it regardless of what would happen if he was wrong. Because he couldn't be, not after what he had felt when their eyes met.
The dancer blinked, and tears formed in his eyes. He ran up to Xander then, throwing his arms around the king in a tight hug. His bag hit Xander in the back, making the king grunt slightly, but he didn't mind. It was well worth it.
"It… it's good to see you again Milord!" the dancer hiccuped, smiling wide.
"And you too, Laslow. Or should I call you something else now? I do remember a mention of fake names in addition to appearances," Xander added with a wink. Or an attempt at a wink, anyway. From what Camilla said he was very bad at them.
"Inigo," Laslow said back. "It's what my mother chose when I was born, so now that I can be myself again, I've taken it back. Uh, just in private though. I haven't really been spreading it around while I've been here. I just used another throw away name. You can still call me Laslow if you wish."
"Inigo, hmm? How fitting. I can't think of a more lovely name," Xander said, voice low as he attempted to add some romantic flare to his words.
Laslow blushed at Xander's short response. And it seemed the server was right: Laslow's blush really did best his hair in redness. It was bad enough when he had gray hair, but with pink hair the blush was all the more obvious. It was cute.
"Uh, Milord, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"
"Resting after battle with some Faceless."
"Faceless? They're still around? I would've thought they would have gone away after the war, what, with dark mages in lesser demand and without reason to conjure up the things to send to Hoshido. I haven't seen any in my time being back here, anyway. But it seems that isn't true?"
"Yes, it seems not. If only that were the case, too. That would be less of a headache for me, and less danger for the people. The new council and I are working to find some way to alert the populace to the Faceless without causing too much fear. Leo suggested putting local militia in place across the country, and then making an official announcement about the Faceless a short time later. Not necessarily an army level trained militia, but trained well enough to protect their neighbors if they are attacked while the actual army is far away. So that they could hold off against the Faceless or other attackers until we make it to them."
"Sounds good. Just one thing- you're the king. Why don't you have other soldiers take care of the Faceless? Surely there are young men and women eager to get in battle experience?"
"That there are. But the mages in control of the Faceless appearing as of late are former members of the Nohrian Court, and much stronger than the average soldier can deal with. You've fought them before. Would you really trust the average troop or new soldier to succeed when faced with the beasts?"
"I suppose not..." Laslow trailed off, looking to his right. It seemed the shorter man's habit of shielding his eyes with his hair hadn't disappeared during his time away from Nohr, and Xander couldn't bring himself to say something in response. Laslow had such a lovely profile, after all, and if Xander began to speak Inigo would turn back. Not to say his face wasn't good either - Laslow looked great from all sides. But his profile was a rare treat. And….
Xander felt his face redden. What was he thinking?
"..."
Silence.
Laslow broke it with a quiet question: "If you don't mind me asking, milord, who was the person with you? I didn't recognize him."
"Iffis? He's-" Xander stopped himself suddenly. How would Laslow feel, hearing he was replaced so soon after he left? It wouldn't be fair not to tell him though, and he would find out soon enough anyway. It wasn't as though Iffis had truly replaced Laslow, either. That was impossible. He had just filled the spot Laslow had vacated. "He's my retainer. Alongside Peri. A dutiful guard."
Laslow turned back to Xander, the corner of his lips tilting up. "Ah, I'm glad."
The corners of Xander's lips went down. "About what?"
"That you've made a new friend! You had real trouble with that during the time I knew you, so I'm happy to see you've gotten better!"
"I did- I did not have trouble making friends! I was just so infrequently in the presence of people who weren't corrupt or otherwise unpleasant that I hardly had the opportunity."
"Mhm. Whatever you say Milord. And no need to sound so offended! We both know how you never met a single person in all the time we knew each other that was friend-worthy, and that was why your siblings, their retainers, and Peri and I were the only ones ever to earn your good favor."
"Laslow…"
"It's the truth Milord! And call me Inigo when we're in private, I gave you permission you know. Oh and don't scowl like that; you'll get wrinkles. You already frown so much I worry your face will get stuck in the position. No need to add forehead creases to the damages!"
"Inigo..."
"Eh… okay, that might have been a bit much. But Lord Xander, y-"
Xander closed the distance between he and Laslow then, hugging the former retainer to the Nohrian family tightly.
"I never thought that I would see you again." Xander's voice was barely above a whisper.
Laslow gulped, and tears spilled from his eyes once again.
"Y-yeah. Neither did I. It's good to be back, Lord Xander," responded the now pink haired man, just as quietly.
Xander pulled back. "Drop it."
"Excuse me?"
"The 'Lord' thing. Just call me Xander while we're in private. If I am going to call you Inigo while we're alone, then you are going to be addressing me as Xander. As an equal, not a higher power."
"Of course, Xander."
Eyes sparkling, Laslow gave one of his trademark smiles, making the grim day seem bright to Xander.
No, it wasn't one of Laslow's trademark smiles. It was even happier than that. Laslow had this way of seeming so bright even when the world was falling apart around him, even when they were in war and Xander was worried they were going to lose or perhaps even fall where they stood-
Whenever that happened, Laslow was there with a smile, reminding him that everything would work out, and that he needed to look on the bright side of things. A bit of sunshine on a gloomy day. But the smile Laslow gave when he truly was happy, not just when he was trying to convince himself to be, wasn't just bright. It was radiant.
A radiant smile that was warming Xander's very being at the moment.
One Xander never wanted to let go of.
"How did you get back here?" Xander prompted.
Laslow ran a finger through his hair. "Uh, it's kind of complicated. Or rather really complicated, so I'm sure it will take at least half an hour, but basically-"
Xander cut the man off. "Never mind then. It's cold out here, and you or I may get sick of we don't get inside soon. Where have you been staying while in this village?"
"One of the back rooms in the tavern."
"And I assume you don't have a room waiting for you elsewhere?"
"That I don't. I was planning to go on to the next town this morning so I could travel during daylight and rest at an inn there, but things happened and I ended up working until just now. Why?"
"Because I wanted to know whether or not I had a good excuse to come with me."
"Heh!?"
"What, you didn't seriously think I would leave you standing out here all alone in the cold, during a new moon, without anything to eat? What kind of king would I be if I couldn't show some hospitality to someone traveling through my country? What kind of friend would I be to abandon you after so much time apart?"
Laslow chuckled. "As for what kind of king you'd be, I'd say a pretty typical one. You can't help everyone, loath as I am to say it. But as for friend… how far away is this place you're staying?"
"Not far. Come on."
Xander took a few steps forward, but paused after a moment. "Inigo, one quick question."
"Yes Mil- Xander. Just Xander."
"What were you working here for anyway? And why as a dancer? Why not just work as a mercenary?"
"Ah that… Well, when I was younger, the person I looked up to the most was my mother, who also happened to be a dancer. So I wanted to emulate her the best I could, down to her profession. When I first came here my… job so to speak, was chosen for me, as was my classing as a mercenary. But when I returned I came back without the connections that would lead me to you, and without any money. I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to do as a mercenary, since I'd heard you'd established an actual guard for the country charged with doing that sort of thing, so I went to what I'd always dreamed of doing - dancing. I figured that if I got a good job dancing, then I'd be able to earn the money needed to make my way back up to you, sooner or later. I don't look like how I used to, and I didn't know whether my disappearance was explained as traitorous, allowed, or a death, so I decided using my name wouldn't be effective. I haven't been here long, if that's what you're wondering. I know it may not have been the best way, but-"
"It's fine. I'm glad you've been able to spend time doing what you couldn't while bound to me those five years ago. Restricting your passions was never my goal."
"Not even when you made me sit in your room all those times?"
"That wasn't a passion. That was a delusion."
"Pff!"
With a shared laugh the two walked to the inn Xander was staying at with Iffis, as Xander filled Laslow in on all that had happened while the dancer had been gone. A peace agreement had been signed with Hoshido, and the two countries met regularly to discuss trade and other topics that brought the two together. Camilla had gotten married and had three children so far. Corrin had also gotten married, and had a child named Kana. Xander was still single, despite his cabinet urging him to marry and produce an heir. He was holding them off by proposing that Leo's son Forrest could take the throne once he was of age, but they still wanted him to marry for the sake of not seeming so… untouchable. Closed off. The people Xander kept around him included some of Garon's advisors, but were mostly men and women appointed after the possessed king's death. They didn't want a repeat of Garon; not of a terrifying monarch the people couldn't trust. They said finding a spouse would fix that. Xander hadn't had anyone in mind before, but now...
The innkeeper raised an eye when Xander entered, Laslow at his back, but didn't say anything. Iffis had been the one to rent their room, and had given his second name rather than his first. Vildensur wasn't a common name, but it was uncommon for people to be given two names, so Iffis was able to secure a room without commotion. Though the public knew the king had a retainer named Iffis, they weren't aware that there was someone in the king's service with two names nor the name Vildensur, which worked out for the two.
The innkeeper had also been half asleep when Xander had entered, so that combined with Xander's appearance, the same as it was when he entered the tavern but with the addition of fancier armor, hadn't drawn him in to Xander's identity. As such, the two went unrecognised. Laslow was the one drawing more attention to the two of them at the moment, in fact.
But the innkeeper didn't do anything past make a curious expression, so Xander led Laslow up to where he and Iffis were staying.
Iffis was using a damp towel to wipe some of the dirt off his body when Xander entered, and had his back turned to the door. As he turned, Xander gave a short introduction.
"Laslow, this is Iffis. Iffis, this is Laslow, the man I held as a retainer before you took up position in his place."
"Pleased to meet you," Laslow followed, bowing slightly.
Iffis blinked.
"Wh-" He then dropped the towel in his hand, hastily putting on the bloodstained shirt sitting on the bed behind him. "Nice to meet you, Laslow. I thought- pardon me, if this is just a misconception, but I thought your hair was gray?" the retainer's eyes drifted to Xander as if to ask him a silent question.
Laslow winced at the accusation hidden in Iffis' words. "Don't worry, you weren't misinformed. My hair was gray, but no longer. I used to dye it while I was Lord Xander's retainer, feeling gray was more intimidating than pink and thus a better way to deter people from making any moves on him, but pink is my natural color. As it is one of the few things I have left from my mother, I've decided to let it show as it is these past few years, rather than turning it the color of dark ash."
"I… see. Well then, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Laslow. Will you be returning to Castle Krakenburg with us?"
Laslow opened his mouth to respond, but Xander beat the dancer to it. "Yes, he will." Then in a quieter voice he added: "If that is what he wishes, of course."
"It is," Laslow replied with a wink.
He was much better at winking than Xander was, thankfully. It also made Xander let out a small sigh of relief. The king was so happy to have Laslow back that he figured the former-retainer would stay by him, but he didn't know for certain. Hearing Laslow confirm he wished the same was all Xander could ask for.
"Ah, if you don't mind me asking Milord, where will Laslow be staying tonight?"
Suddenly Xander realized that he had brought Laslow back to a room with two beds but two people already staying in it. With him there as well, one of them would have to sleep on the floor. But that wouldn't be right.
"Should I go back down to the lobby to request a room?" asked Laslow.
Iffis shook his head. "There's no point. The innkeeper said this was the only room left when we got it a few hours ago, and that the first guests scheduled to leave wouldn't be leaving until late tomorrow. Your trip won't result in finding anything useful."
"Really? That's unfortunate. Thank you for the warning."
The three of them stood quiet for ten seconds, before Iffis voiced an idea.
"How about two of us share a bed? If you're comfortable with that, that is. While the left bed isn't that large, the right one looks as though it could fit two people. It wouldn't be the most spacious arrangement, but at least that way no one would have to sleep on the ground."
Laslow agreed, and Iffis started moving Xander's stuff from its position next to the right bed over to the left side of the room.
"What are you doing?" the king asked his current retainer.
"Moving your stuff, Milord. I figured you would like to sleep alone," Iffis said back.
Xander chuckled. "And subject Laslow to a night sleeping with you? The last time you and I shared a bed I spent the next day with bruises on my face and arms from where you hit my while tossing in your sleep, as well as a sore back from the all too high number of times you shoved me off the edge and to the floor. And I'm quite a bit larger than Laslow here. He'd be thrown off twice as much! I'm not so cruel as to offer someone a place to stay for the night, and then put them somewhere where they couldn't sleep."
"Is that why you haven't ordered a single bed room in the last three years…?" Iffis asked, a look of horror on his face.
"Don't tell me you didn't know."
"I didn't, I promise Milord! I'm so sorry for injuring you like that, it's my duty to prevent harm from coming to you, and I've failed horribly if I have inflicted it upon you myself!"
"Worry not, Iffis. It's of no matter. To make up for it, how about you go back to the tavern and order Laslow some of the stew we had? If my memory serves, you do like stew, don't you?"
Laslow gave a quick nod, and Xander turned back to Iffis, who have a quick bow.
The retainer grabbed his cloak and money pouch, and with a second bow left the room, starting on the ten minute trek to the tavern they had eaten at that night.
"He sure is a strict guy, isn't he," Laslow joked, setting his stuff down next to the larger of the two beds.
"Yes, but he's devoted, and a good man in the end. He's been a nice companion over the past five years. Filled the hole as best he could."
Laslow's breath caught at that, and Xander realized he had made a mistake.
"I'm sorry Laslow, I didn't mean-"
"No, you're right. I left without really saying goodbye. Yes I left those two letters, but I should have done more. I won't say I shouldn't have left, because there was stuff that I needed to do back home, people I needed to apologize to since I left them without word either, but I'm sorry that I had to leave in the first place. That I was gone so long. If you'll have me, please let me stay by your side from now on.
"Even if I can't be your retainer, let me stay with you. I don't… I don't ever want to leave you again."
Since his back was turned to Xander, the dancer's face was hidden from the king, and Xander couldn't read whatever emotions Laslow was expressing. So, he did what he had done before that night, and walked up to the former-retainer, wrapping his arms around Laslow's body. Laslow leaned back into his touch, and hugged the arms to his chest, sighing.
"There will always be a place for you with me, Las- Inigo. I would be honored if you gave me your time."
"If I gave you my time? I already pledged my life to you, Xander. A departure and a change in name have done nothing to invalidate that. As long as you allow it, I will give everything I have to you. I want nothing more."
"Nothing more? That usually accompanied a small request. What you're saying is quite large. It's a heavy burden to carry the weight of someone's entire life and meaning on your shoulders. Should something happen to you, or should I fall out of your favor, I would be filled with an unending guilt. A regret and anger I could never rid myself of."
"What do you want, then?"
"I want what I have said to you twice over: I want you to live. I want you to be happy, and for you to breathe freely and unrestrained. I want you to be your own man, and to be able to do whatever you wish. I want you to live the life you've always dreamed of, to hold the world in your hands and meld it to what suits you.
"Once I told you that it wasn't your company that I required. That I would be happy as long as you were. That as long as you were still breathing, I would be able to as well. But over these past five years, I have had to deal with a hole that I could not fill no matter what I tried.
"I've become selfish, Inigo. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me again. So I revise my earlier statement. As much as I want your happiness, I want you to make mine. Never leave me again, Inigo. I don't know what I will do if I lose you once more…"
Laslow leaned back until his full weight was resting on Xander. "As you wish, Xander. Doing so would make me the happiest man in the world."
Xander left for a few short minutes to wash himself off in the bath located on the bottom floor of the inn, and by the time he got back Laslow was in his nightclothes, breathing softly as he slept on the bed he and Xander would be sharing for the night. It seemed he wouldn't be eating the stew Iffis had run off to fetch after all.
Xander ran a finger through pink hair that was slightly longer than he remembered, marveling at the softness it held five years prior, and still held at the moment. It was a feeling Xander could get used to. Dressing in his own nightclothes, he crawled into bed next to Laslow, scooting directly next to the dancer and putting an arm under his neck to fit in the small space still available. Moving the covers over the two of them Xander threw his other arm around Laslow's waist, closing his eyes and letting his breathing match with that of the man he was so close to.
By the time Iffis made it back to the room, the two were asleep.
All the retainer could think about was how peaceful the two looked, and how he couldn't remember his lord looking so at ease in all the time they knew each other, even in sleep. Whatever kind of relationship the two held, Iffis was glad Laslow was back. It would surely help the king, both in terms of having additional protection provided Laslow took up arms in the castle, and in terms of giving the king the mental and emotional support he needed with how stressful the management and restoration of Nohr was.
That, and the king really needed a friend, or maybe even something more. Not just someone to be friendly with, but someone he could lay all his worries onto. Iffis had tried, but had never been able to fill that position, try as he might. Peri had told him Xander's last retainer had been the one to do it, and seeing the two of them together, Iffis couldn't help but agree.
Author's Note: And there we have it. This is a bit different than my usual style, so I hope it worked out okay, and that the characters weren't to ooc! It ended up a few thousand words longer than I imagined, so it involves a few things that could have been touched upon more but weren't for the sake of not running on and on. Thank you for reading, and I hope it was up to your standards!