A/N: The Third and final installment of my Kiamo Ko Tango series. (No One is Alone, Safe and Sound, and this). Hopefully it will hold you over while I work on the next Unpopular. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nothing familiar is mine.
Keep Your Eyes Open
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Elphaba took a deep breath before turning to face herself in the glossy surface of the full length mirror perched just inside the balcony doors of her chambers at the Emerald Palace. As many glimpses as she'd caught while her handmaidens worked to make her presentable for today's coronation, she couldn't wrap her mind around the reflection staring back at her.
She reached out and pressed the pads of her fingers to the shimmering glass. The image rippled beneath her touch as she sketched her outline upon the thin surface. She sighed and drew her hand away; raking her fingers through her hair, which had been curled and styled so it cascaded down her back. A bouquet of white lilies intermingled with lilac was clipped into her bangs and then tucked behind her ear, pulling them back so that nothing smudged her newly made-up face. Her fingertips rubbed at the edges of the soft petals, and she couldn't help but think of her first real night in the dorms with Glinda, when she'd tried to give her a makeover and insisted that "pink goes good with green."
Unfortunately, this time it wasn't just her hair and face that had gotten the royal treatment, but her wardrobe as well. She snickered at the memory of her girlfriend trying to transform her baggy navy frock into a beautiful ballgown, having only failed because she hadn't yet began her classes with Morrible.
Her hands trailed down to the hem of her dress. Glinda had chosen well this time. A simple, sweetheart neckline that cinched at the waist and stopped just above the knees, the gown was the fanciest thing the witch had ever put on her body, without being too over the top. She traced the rose design along the bodice and skirt, thankful that the color scheme was, for once, not pink. Instead, the pattern had been etched in a deep purple, layered onto the black fabric background of the silhouette. She looked innocent, young, and bright eyed. If it weren't for the tell-tale hue of her skin, the eldest Thropp would almost believe she was a completely different person.
Whether or not that was a good thing – the jury was still out. She looked fit for a throne, yes, but she also could scarcely recognize herself.
Elphaba closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them, the girl staring back at her would actually bear some resemblance to the woman she'd come to know over her years as a fugitive.
Instead, the same inauthentic witch trying to pass for a princess was the only person that met her eyes in the mirror. She sighed. Once upon a time, a day like this would've been her dream come true. But now, in the midst of all the preparations and extravagant splendor, it only made her feel that much more like a fraud.
"Your Highness?"
Elphaba gasped. A kindly, older Ram, who reminded her so much of her old Nanny, offered a comforting smile from the doorway in the reflection of the mirror.
"Oh, Maggie!" Elphaba spun to face her handmaiden, her cheeks darkening beneath the much-too-thick coat of blush."You startled me."
"My apologies, Your Majesty, but I was instructed by Her Goodness to inform you that only one hour remains until the start of the ceremony."
Elphaba's stomach clenched. She ran her hands down the front of her dress, her mouth void of moisture as she swallowed around the lump in her throat.
"Thank you, Maggie. And, I told you, it's just Elphaba." Forcing a smile and bending down, she tried for a graceful curtsy, but only ended up tripping over her own feet.
"Your Highness!" Maggie scrambled into the room, catching her by the arm as she tried to regain her footing, only to stumble on the ridiculous heels Glinda had begged her to wear. "Are you quite all right?"
Elphaba bit back a curse and fisted her hands. Oz, if she couldn't even manage a simple curtsy, how could she be expected to rule? She took a deep breath. "Yes, Maggie, I am. Thank you."
"No thanks needed, Your- Miss Elphaba."
The Ram led her to her bed and helped her sit down before releasing her arm and stepping back.
The green girl felt herself being watched out of the corner of her eye. She was acutely aware of her stiff shoulders, wide eyes, and the way her fingers kept fiddling with the edge of her dress.
"It's perfectly normal to be nervous, you know," Maggie whispered before slipping away.
Elphaba stiffened as Maggie's footsteps faded. Is it that obvious?
She pressed her lips together and straightened her back, but the longer she thought of what loomed ahead, the harder she found it to maintain her defenses. Her posture slumped and her gaze drifted to her lap. A lone tear escaped from her eye and slid down her cheek, dropping onto the center of one of the roses before she could stop it.
Get a grip, Elphaba. She'd faced entire armies in her days on the run, and yet, a simple ceremony had her terrified. What was wrong with her?
This is what you've always wanted.
Elphaba shivered. She thought she'd banished her demons long ago, so to hear them hiss again… It was unnerving, to say the least.
But that doesn't mean you deserve it. You may be the Wizard's daughter, but what have you ever really done to earn the throne?
The green girl shut her eyes and gnashed her teeth. No. They weren't going to get to her this time.
Don't listen to them, Elphaba. You've done more in the past year with Glinda than you ever dreamed possible all that time on the run. Technically, you already know how to rule Oz. The coronation is really just a formality.
Isn't it? The people thought you wicked only months ago, you silly girl. What do you think they'll do when they discover Glinda was serious about her ambitions to crown you?
Oh, Sweet Lurline, Glinda!
She pushed up from the bed, gritting her teeth as she paced the length of the floor. Her lungs constricted. The air cloaking the room felt like sulfur, searing her flesh as it slithered down her throat. She closed her eyes, using all of her concentration to even out the rise and fall of her chest. But despite her best efforts, black spots danced before them, and the world tilted on it's access. Her breathing came in short spurts. She wrapped her arms around herself. What was she thinking?
Acting as Glinda's partner in law-making and politics was one thing- she could truly change Oz for the better, and never had to fear that her very presence would doom Glinda to a lifetime of daggered stares and heated whispers. But being crowned queen? The citizen's had only just begin to see Glinda as their true ruler, and were still adjusting to life after the lift of the Animal Bans. In the rural parts of Oz, discrimination was still as raw and ripe as it had been during the Wizard's reign. Just last week, they had to disband a city-wide protest because a Monkey wanted to run for governor. What would they think when the Wicked Witch, of all people, was their ruler?
"This is insanity!" She couldn't be queen! Oz, she couldn't even help the Resistance without getting almost everyone she cared about killed.
If the people chose to rise up against her now, she wouldn't, couldn't, survive being the cause of any more death and destruction.
She pushed open the double doors to the balcony, following the pattern of the cobblestone until the only thing standing between her and the sun-soaked pavement of the courtyard was the edge of the stone railing. It's coarse texture bit into her palms as she pressed against it with all her might. A tiny, scratchy wisp of a voice hissed in her ear. Willed her to let it crumble. The nightmares, the fear, the horrors she'd seen from her days with the Resistance would no longer exist. The rock would fall away to dust, and her identity along with it. At once, she would truly, finally, be free.
Only the crackle of electricity as it danced along her fingertips pulled her back to the present. She swallowed a scream and yanked her hands back, burying them in the fabric of her dress. The haze cleared from her vision. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and she bit down until she tasted blood. Sweet Oz, what am I doing?
She looked out over the courtyard. The palace staff bustled around, darting this way and that as they hurried to make sure everything was perfect for the evening's congratulatory reception.
Her mouth tasted like sandpaper. Her stomach crawled into her throat. She closed her eyes and dug her fingers into the roughness of the railing, shifting her focus to the other side of the street.
And gasped.
Ten guards from the newly assembled Emerald Alliance pushed back against what Glinda had insisted was "cautionary" security rope. On the opposite side, protesters swarmed the streets, holding up signs and chanting the very lines of those who had originally plotted Elphaba's demise.
"She's the enemy of us all!"
"She'll torture Oz the same way she tortured those poor flying monkeys!"
"She's a menace!"
"Her Goodness should've let her die in that dungeon."
No! Don't listen to them, Elphaba! They're just scoundrels… Ignorant, small-minded scoundrels making ignorant, small-minded judgements.
Elphaba tried her hardest to drown out their screams, but even so, her hands shook as she read some of the more noticeable signs.
WICKEDNESS SHOULD BE PUNISHED, NOT REWARDED!
REAP WHAT YOU SOWED!
HER GOODNESS SCORNS THE WICKED!
The last one nearly punched the air from her lungs. Sweat dampened Elphaba's palms and a lump ached in her throat. The comments about her didn't matter… Or at least, she could pretend they didn't. But when they got Glinda involved… She didn't think she could handle that. She knew how their relationship looked to the majority of Oz; it was shameful, an abomination to the stereotypical normal of past rulers in the Emerald City… If it weren't for the vast improvements in the economic and political status of Oz, among other nations, since the start of Glinda's rule, the green girl was almost certain the council would have impeached her the very day she returned with the Wicked Witch. Elphaba's past with the Resistance, combined with the recent lift of the Animal Bans only made the stigma that much worse. She shuddered at the idea of what might become of her little blonde if the second crown was placed, not only on the head of a woman, but a green vagabond of a woman who was once the most hated and feared citizen in all the land.
Suddenly, a hand rose above the crowd, aimed directly toward her balcony. "There she is!"
As one, the crowd seemed to turn and face her. Their eyes burned with looks of hatred the likes of which she hadn't seen since the day Madame Morrible christened her with that horridible title. Her eyes widened and she stumbled backward as the crowd surged at the ropes, shouting slurs.
"Murderer!"
"Lady Glinda will never atone to a witch like you ruling Oz!"
"The Wizard should have killed you when he had the chance!"
A few voices tried to intercept the shouts and jeers, but they were drowned out by the nightmares playing over in Elphaba's head.
Any last words, Witch?' The old captain of the Gale Force blocked her vision. His finger hovered over the trigger, the barrel staring her straight in the face.
Elphaba's chest rose and fell in time with her stampeding heart. She slapped her hands over her ears and closed her eyes. Her back pressed against the glass of the balcony doors that led toward her chambers. Her nails dug into her scalp as she tried to banish the relentless voices from her mind.
You're nothing. Worthless. I should have left you for dead. Her father's furious threats from her childhood.
How do you think I feel, left to my own devices while you parade around Oz, defying the Wizard, no less! Did you ever even stop to think what such a choice would do to your family, Elphaba? Nessa, the day Elphaba came to see her at their old mansion, begging for Frex's help, only to realize her scandal had been the cause of his death.
I believe in you, Elphaba. No matter what they do to me, you have to keep fighting. Fiyero, as the Gale Force had dragged him to the cornfields. Where they would drain the life from him while Elphaba, coward that she was, ran.
Elphaba stepped back again, the doors flying open under her weight and throwing her to the floor of her chambers. She winced as a stinging pain reverberated through her spine, but dismissed it as she sat up and curled her knees to her chest, burying her head in her lap. I deserve it, she thought. I deserve all the pain they want to inflict on me. Maybe it would've been better if I'd died in Kiamo Ko after all.
Glinda's famed bubble dress swished back and forth along the gleaming tile of the Emerald Palace as she made her way toward her girlfriend's chambers. "Elphaba?" She knocked twice. "Elphaba, are you ready? The ceremony is about to start." She paused for a few clock ticks, placing her hands on her hips and letting out a loud huff when, five minutes later, she still received no response.
"Elphaba Thropp, don't make me come in there," she scolded with a teasing lilt to her voice. Nothing. Not even a sarcastic remark echoed from the other side of the door.
Glinda's brows furrowed and her mouth dropped into a frown. Something was wrong, she could feel it. She placed her hand on the emerald encrusted doorknob and called out one more time. "Elphaba, if you don't answer the door this instant, I'm coming in; and you better not be in your bathrobes!"
Still, the witch's room was silent. Glinda caught her lip between her teeth as her stomach dipped and a shiver rippled through her frame. Her hand shook as she twisted the doorknob with agonizing slowness, sucking in her breath in an attempt to brace herself for whatever she might find.
The nightmares that had plagued Elphaba since they first arrived at the palace a little over a year ago had gotten worse since Glinda had introduced the idea of officially crowning her as the second-in-command ruler of Oz. Sometimes, she would awaken in the middle of the night to find her girlfriend completely entangled in the sheets of the bed they so often shared, tears streaming down her cheeks as she attempted to claw her way free of the cocoon, as if the Witch Hunters themselves were on her heels.
It pained Glinda to think that the idea of finally achieving the dream that Elphaba, once upon a time, wanted more than anything else would bring back such thoughts. She took one last deep breath and pushed the handle down, letting the door swing open. "Elphie?"
She stepped over the threshold, her heart beating a little faster as she swept her gaze over the crumpled sheets of Elphaba's bed, the mismatched contents of her vanity and dresser, and finally toward the doors that led to the balcony, with no sign of her.
Glinda's eyes darted down at the sound of a muffled sniffle. She squinted in the fading light of the setting sun, the knot in her stomach twisting that much tighter as the yellow and orange rays bathed the mused fabric of Elphaba's dress, her beautiful lithe frame almost completely camouflaged by the dark folds of silk as she huddled in a fetal position.
Oh, Elphie.
In five strides, Glinda made her way to the center of the room. She dropped to her knees and let the thick layers of the periwinkle and lilac fabric billow out around her as she squatted next her her old roommate and gently reached out to place a hand on the green girl's back. "Elphaba?" she asked softly. "What's wrong, Elphie?"
Elphaba barely moved beneath the mountain of fabric, only shaking her head and burying it deeper into her dress.
Glinda's heart ached for her. She wrapped her arm around her shoulders and scooted closer, so their knees were touching. The frown contorting her features deepened when she realized the green girl was shivering beneath her touch. "El, what happened? You're positively trembling."
The dress rustled again and Glinda swore she heard Elphaba mumble, "Nothing."
Her sapphire orbs hardened slightly as she ran her hand along the witch's back. "We both know that's not true, Elphaba," she said, her words firm but gentle. " Whatever it is, we can fix it."
"H... How do you know?" Elphaba grumbled, finally lifting her head to glare at the blonde.
Glinda simply squeezed her shoulder and let out a soft laugh. "We can fix anything, Elphie. We're unlimited, remember?"
To Glinda's surprise, the old saying that usually calmed Elphaba instead made her sable irises harden and her lips press into a grim line.
She met Glinda's gaze for a brief moment before cutting her eyes away and muttering, "No, we're not."
Glinda stifled a gasp as she reached out and gently clasped Elphaba's hand. "Wh-What do you mean, Elphie?" A burning sting tickled the back of her eyes and she muttered a string of her curses in her head. Why did her voice have to tremble so?
Elphaba sighed and shook her head. "You're the unlimited one between the two of us, Glin, not me. I'm just a coward. I couldn't even save my own sister from their hatred of me.I can't… I can't let what happened to her happen to you. I couldn't… wouldn't be able to stand it if..." She trailed Her gaze drifted in toward the balcony doors once more.
"That's not true, Elphaba!" Glinda protested. "You know it's not."
"Do I?" she scoffed, finally turning to face her girlfriend, her eyes wet with regret and disgust. "Dorothy may have murdered her by accident, Glinda, and you may have given that wretch the idea, but Morrible never would have summoned that cyclone in the first place if it weren't for me."
Glinda's eyes welled up. "Elphie…" She choked back a sob and let her eyes drop to her lap. "I'm so sorry."
Elphaba's gaze softened and she leaned over to kiss away the tears that had drifted onto Glinda's pale cheeks. "It's alright, my sweet. It was her choice to cast that spell, not yours."
"But, I-"
"It's just one of the many examples of why I can't go through with this ceremony tonight."
Glinda blinked. Her mouth fell open in a small "o" as she studied Elphaba's gleaming emerald features. "Elpha-"
"No." Elphaba's sharp voice cut through the heavy air coating the room.
Glinda winced at the anger and- Was that?- twinge of fear in her eyes.
Elphaba squeezed her girlfriend's hand as she brushed a stray lock of ebony hair behind her ear. "Who are we trying to kid, Glinda?" she spat. "I can't rule. Lurine, I couldn't even keep my unit of the Resistance safe! Oz only knows what would happen if I tried to run a country!" She pushed up off of the floor and began to pace again.
Glinda watched her for a heartbeat before she too stood. "Elphie, sweet Oz, where is this coming from? You've been ruling by my side for months now. This will just make it official."
Elphaba stopped in the center of the room, her eyes narrowing to slits as she glared at her girlfriend. "But that's just it, don't you see? The people of Oz only started to respect me when I was by your side. I tried for 12 years to make changes, to make good, out if the Wizard's heartless reign, and people branded me wicked for it. But you…" She exhaled. "People have been watching my whole life. waiting for me to fail. You've accomplished in three years when I couldn't do in a lifetime, Glinda. I can't… I can't tarnish the good you've done any further than I already have, my sweet. I love you too much to do something so unfair as that."
"You want to talk about fairness, Elphaba Thropp?" Glinda seethed. "Fine. Let's talk about how fair it was for you to be willing to die in front of me rather than admitting your feelings."
Elphaba's eyes blazed. "I wanted to keep you safe, just like I'm trying to do now!"
"Safe?" Glinda spat. "Do you honestly think I would have been okay knowing my true love sacrificed herself for me? While I did nothing to stop it? Because if so, Miss Elphaba, you are sorely mistaken."
"Glinda, you don't understand! If I take that crown tonight…" She pointed a trembling finger at the balcony. "There are protesters ready to storm the doors. I won't put you in such danger again. Not when you've just begun to earn back their respect!"
"Well, maybe it's not just your choice, Elphie," Glinda retorted, slightly softer. She stepped forward and reached out to grasp Elphaba's hand again. "Don't you know me well enough by now to know that I don't care what other's think of us?" she whispered.
Elphaba stepped back, suppressing a shiver at the proximity of her little blonde. "Glinda," she rasped. "I just…"
Glinda put a finger to the green girl's lips, halting Elphaba's rant. Elphaba's eyes widened, and Glinda smirked as she drew her hand away before closing the gap between them with a deep, tender kiss. "I love you, Elphaba Thropp," she breathed against her lips. "All of you. You are my other half, and there is no one in the world I would rather have at my side."
"But, the Council, the Alliance, the citizens…"
"Ozdamn them." Glinda hissed, taking Elphaba by surprise. There was a time when glinda would've given anything for the approval of others.
"You've changed me for the better, Elphaba, and I know you'll do the same to Oz." She smiled and pulled away slightly. "You already have."
Glinda giggled as Elphaba, not having the words, pulled her into the fiercest hug she'd ever given. Aside perhaps, from the night at Kiamo Ko. She sighed in contentment and rested her head on the taller girl's shoulder.
"You're amazing, you know that?"
Glinda grinned and kissed her temple.
"Does this mean you'll do the ceremony?" Her heart did a somersault in her chest as Elphaba's warm laughter washed over her.
"Yes."
Glinda stepped back, her beaming smiling splitting her cheeks as she clasped elphaba's hand and pulled her toward the door. Let's go then, You're Majesty. Your public awaits."
Elphaba laughed. "As you wish, my sweet."
THE END