Disclaimer: All characters are not mine but the amazing J.K Rowling's! Yay verily!
I was born into the Malfoy family. A proud but sad day for me. My mother died while giving birth to me but the Malfoy family is so prestige that I hardly cared. It made me more of a man than anyone could ever dream to be, even my own father. There is one flaw about my life though, one flaw that has condemned me to a life of mockery and embarrassment. This one flaw is my name.
My mother's last dying words were my name. "My sweet baby, Lucius," she said, or so I've been told. Not wanting to ignore my mother's final words my father agreed that my name would be Lucius. Oh how big a mistake that was. My father hated the name, thought it was too girly as everyone else later did. One does not know the pain of being taunted about the name one's dying mother gave them until one has experience it and let me tell you it sucks ass.
Ever since I was a young one I heard it. Some idiotic muggle boy started it; I later kill him "accidentally" of course. I still remember those haunting words, "How ya doin', LUSCIOUS!" with that stupid mocking gay lisp and hand gesture. Oh how I was embarrassed! How they mocked me! Once I was accepted to Hogwarts I thought life would get better. The Malfoy name was both respected and feared throughout the wizarding world. I would finally be with a group of people who would understand. Or so I thought.
My first class was a complete and utter disaster, just like the rest of my life. The dumb ass professor was calling roll and what did he do when he got to my name? "Malfoy, Luscious," he called and instead of striking fear or respect into the hearts of my fellow class mates came a chorus of snickers and laughter! Laughter! "It's Lucius," I corrected him and even though the memo got through his thick skull it didn't stop the laughter. It didn't get rid of the humiliation I suffered because of his foolish mistake! He later died a mysterious and horrible death that still can't be explained to this day.
I grew up I moved on but not far. My friends even taunted me about the resemblance between my name and that hideous word, luscious. It was very hard to meet ladies as well. No one wanted to date the boy name Luscious. They all thought I was gay anyway (which I an assure you I am not). I became distant from everyone. This broodiness helped win the heart of one girl my last year at school. Narcissa Black was her name; unfortunately she was related to that self-absorbed jack ass, Sirius Black. The good part was she despised him just as much as I did. We were great together for a little while. After twelve days, though, she wanted to split, said I was too self-conscious because I always corrected people about my name. How is that my fault that people in the world are too stupid to respect a fellow individual! A higher individual at that! But I put her in her place and we've been happily married for twenty years.
Then Lord Voldemort (you probably know him as You-Know-Who, foolish mongrels) came into my life. He promised me power, fame and people properly pronouncing my name. Who in their right mind would turn down a deal like that? Too bad I can't see the future and realize how I'd be screwed over once again.
Now here I sit, here in jail, waiting for my foolish son, Draco (another horrid name, much better than mine at least) to free me. So I may be here for quite some time because he's too much of a wussy to accomplish anything evil! H obviously got that from his mother's side (good looks from mine wink). So that's my story. If you want a longer version, purchase my autobiography: "Pureblood: A Malfoy Story".