Unrecognized language: what's popping Jimbo?

When you die, your life does not flash before your eyes. Time doesn't slow done, you slowly stop breathing then you're dead. Simple concept, but it has cause many debates about what happens next. Haven or Hell, rebirth or nothing. People have always been talking about what happens next. I never really care until I was dead.

My after life was simple and easy the way I like things, for I drifted around doing nothing until I dropped into darkness or was it sleep. I soon was awaken by a bright light, the light was awful and blindingly terrifying. I did what anyone would do I screamed, I had wanted to be in the darkness again.

I would awake some times to be feed, I would only be awake for a few minutes. I couldn't see everything was blurry, I wondered if this is how blind people felt. I was mostly a sleep I didn't know how they saved me from dying it didn't make sense, but I knew I wasn't dead anymore it felt different.

The few times I was aware enough I was being cooed at, the noises were very load much more then I was used to. I cried my hormones affected me and made me cry like a baby.

"Oh look at that, Sakumo loves me more. Koshō!" The loud voices were very annoying.

"Oi fuck you, I'm the one that birthed him Tōi! You are the one that almost passed out. What does that say about your ninja skills hon?" I didn't know why they were being so loud, please use your inside voice.

To be honest I have no fucking clue what is going on, the language was different and it wouldn't make sense to stick a almost dead person in a foreign hospital. I couldn't speak their language so I had nothing to do or say.

My body didn't work as well. I guess it made sense that I had almost died, but why did they do such a shitty job. I might as well be dead I didn't want to always feel like a God damn noodle. My hormones picked up on my sadness and made me cry.

"There, there Sakumo don't cry. Remember the deal Tōi?" The loud speaker came back again. I disliked the constant talking so I cried louder.

"Yes Koshō, I get diaper duty… today." Please go away I want my sleep.

I was suddenly picked up which made no sense since I weighed about 140LBS (yes I'm American. Sorry I will look up the metric system for this) I was rocked back and forth in a soothing pace. The loud voice quieted down and carried me to sleep.

"Sakumo! Time to wake up! We need to show you off to the rest of the clan!" The loud voice that I was starting to get used to woke me up again, but I felt more connected to them since they put me to sleep.

"Koshō I can never understand your need to scream in the morning." The grumpy voice sounded bored and tired. I could relate.

One of them picked me up, we were beginning to walk towards a small crowd of people. The only way I knew this was because my senses were a lot better besides seeing things. I was starting to doubt that I was still in my old body, since I sucked at smelling and was deaf in one ear. Because of the people I didn't know what to do for there was way too many people for my comfort.

"Is this the son of the clan head?"

"Aw he's so cute."

"This is means good news for the Hatake clan."

"Let the pup have a long and happy life."

"Congratulations, a heir for the clan head."

There were way too many smells and noises, it had worried me and since I was emotional right now I again bawled my eyes out. I was soon again rocked to sleep.

When Koshō was young and still a puppy clan wars were everywhere. The war had reached Iron country where the Hatake clan lived, the other Hatakes stood up and showed the enemy ninja who was boss. The clan's white chakra and plus the amazing sword skills beat the enemy ninja. The clan elders and the old clan head decided to become a ninja family to become more powerful, since they were powerful but they needed more fighters. Koshō was one of them who were chosen to become a shinobi.

She remembers her earliest memories of screaming that she did not want to become a ninja but a samurai. To spite them she learned the old way of the sword from one of the clan's older samurai. She was one of the best of the clan with her tantō in her hand, for she had found a way to store her chakra in the sword to cause a white slash when used.

Her husband the clan head was a lightning specialist for ninjutsu. He was fucking good at it too, it was wasted on him since he mainly used his dogs. Tōi had all of the dogs love, it made him weak to dogs and other cute animals. Tōi was the only one in the clan who also loved cats, this made some wonder if he was the right choice for a clan head.

When Konohagakura was created the Hatake clan entered it a bit later then other clans. The Hatake clan wasn't huge like the Senjus and Uchihas, but it was the dogs that counted. The doggos would lead them to victory.

Koshō's two doggies were Watage, and Pikurusu. They both were combat dogs, they didn't have the best noses but they were still had a good nose on them. Koshō almost set them on Tōi when he proposed to her. She didn't see it coming at all, but was happy to get married and sorta settle down.

It was well known that clan heads should have children to pass down a child, but it didn't explain why Tōi was so surprised at her for talking about the coming up honeymoon. He had his whole face red and was pretty embarrassed. Koshō was only talking about how she would tie him up and go down on him and other things.( Koshō's parents weren't very modest about what they were doing. ) She did it anyway.

When Koshō finally got pregnant the both of them were extremely happy, for Koshō this meant teaching her sword skills on them. Koshō didn't really care about the gender as long as they beat the shit out of Tōi, and made her proud.

When Koshō was in labor they went to the new hospital that was set up for the Leaf shinobi. Tōi was freaking out, this was normal for the Hatake males to go a little crazy since they all were like dogs. Since Koshō and Tōi were "mates" he was freaking out because of her pain.

The hospital ninjas that worked there had to hold Tōi down just in case he went berserk. Koshō she kept on remembering the on time she accidentally stabbed herself in the foot since she dropped her tantō on it. Her mother had to pull it out. The pain was a lot more intense now, but it was the closest thing she could relate to.

Koshō forced herself to remain calm during labor for the hospital staff. She didn't want them to deal with a angered Tōi, it was fucking scary. Koshō had the pleasure of seeing a father going berserk once they almost had to kill the man since he was so out of control, it was a danger for everyone.

But once Koshō had her first look at her new son, she had known that he would do many great things, her little Sakumo was so adorable.

Thank you for reading this, this popped in my head once I was like I seen a bunch of Kakashi selfinserts, but never a Sakumo one. This person still is in denial about being dead, and when you're a baby you have little to no senses. I let Sakumo have a lot better senses since one of my headcannons is that the Hatakes are super close to their summons which gives them dog like characteristics like better hearing and smelling. But since babies have bad eyesight I kept that, that is why Sakumo doesn't know why they have been reborn.

Btw Sakumo has only watched the original and read a shit ton a fan fiction and most of my characters are going to somewhat act like parts of my personality. Most of them do not give a shit about gender and are usually cisgender since it is easier to identify which something that people will identify as, most are non-gendered but don't give a shit, since they are based on me and if I woke up with a penis I would be like wtf and continue my life. gender isn't a big thing with me and they will be like this too that is why they don't care about being a different gender.

Sorry for that rant and repeating the same thing. I plan on going with the plot, but it might be a little angsty a some points I might be a little bit uncomfortable at that point but my main goal is I Am a Vase. This is kinda a sidestory but I want to end up finishing it. Thank you and see ya bye bye.

Far: Tōi

Fluff: Watage

Pickle: Pikurusu

Pepper: Koshō

Words: 1,621