Out of the Corner of His Eye, a naruto fanfic

& disclaimer applied &

& out of the corner of his eye &

Ino Webster's Guide to Bio's
By Ino Yamanaka
Now in paper back!

Ino Yamanaka- tall, blonde, blue-eyed, tan, Barbie-esque, completely and irrevocably gorgeous in all her magnanimous glory composed of all things wickedly awesome and awe-inspiring. As well as humble.

Sakura Haruno- average height, pink hair, green/emerald eyes, fair skinned, hopeful, desperate closet romantic, has the best friend in the world, and in need of a major relationship boost. Seriously.

Sasuke Uchiha- super tall, raven black spiky hair, onyx eyes, a complexion to die for, and the sexiest man alive. Warning: the stick up his butt and the I-hate-the-world-I-need-no-one attitude may be larger in person.

-The problem: how to: trick these two lovebirds into getting together!
-The solution: the Love Doctor! AKA: the wonderful, the incredible, the beautiful Inooooo Yamanakaaaaa!

!Ding!

applause

The sun shining, the birds twittering in the rustling trees, the screeching sound a metal door makes when it's hit with a shiny tube of lipstick-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME?!"

-and the fury of a dedicated, love obsessed friend by the name of Ino Yamanaka.

"Ino, leave 'em alone. This is so…troubleso-"

"DON'T YOU DARE EVEN SAY IT, SHIKAMARU NARA! AND COME ON! ARE YOU ALL REALLY JUST NOT GOING TO HELP THOSE TWO?!"

Shikamaru heaved a deep sigh, leaning backwards in one of the chairs set up in the Yamanaka Flower Shop, "It won't work." 'But this is Ino; she's never going to give up.'

Ino pursed her lips together and slammed her palms on both sides of the nearest chair to her, which happened to be the one Naruto nervously occupied, "It will if you all help me! Come on! We're like, Konoha's dream generation! We can so do this!"

"Uh-I-I'm with S-Shikamaru. M-Maybe we should just l-leave them alone?" added Hinata quietly, all the while fidgeting under Ino's intense gaze.

Ino let out a mild scoff, exaggerating her being "taken aback by their lack of compassion", "Well, excuse me! If you all just honestly don't care about two of our friends since childhood falling into the loveless depth of lonely despair for eternity, then fine! There's nothing I can do to change your cruel, unsympathetic minds."

"…"

"…Does this mean we can go?"

"KIBA!" Ino growled out, the action causing Kiba's hundred pound dog to whimper in fear with its owner. "NO! EVERYONE IS HELPING! AND THAT IS FINAL!"

"…"

From the back of the flower shop, a single hand rose up, "Um, aren't you taking this a tad bit too seriously, Ino?"

Ino snapped both her hands to her hips in an aggravated manner, "Tenten! All questions at the end of the meeting, okay?!"

Tenten shrugged her shoulders casually and folded her arms, "I'm just saying. And why did you invite Lee, of all people, to this meeting? He's passed out in depression here."

Shortly sighing in impatience, Ino tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "Hello, I invited all of us. And why not? But that's not the point here! The point is that we've got to get Sasuke and Sakura together! Like, now!"

Between the chomps of food and the rustling of bags, Ino heard a small amount of audible words from the speaker, "So does this," munch munch "mean that" rustle munch "you're over" munch munch munch "Sasuke?"

Ino rolled her eyes, 'Why are these people so slow?' "Well, duh. I mean, obviously, Chouji."

"So what exactly are you planning on making us do?" Shino piped in, all the while looking as if the mafia rolled into town with his routine get-up.

All the previous negative feelings were suddenly vanished into thin air, and Ino clasped her hands together excitedly, "Thank you, Shino! I appreciate you and your generous kindness to me and my full-proof plan to get Sasuke and Sakura hooked up!"

Snort. "Full-proof? I bet it doesn't even work."

"OH SHUT IT, NEJI! GO WALLOW IN YOUR SELF-LOATHING SILENTLY!"

Neji merely glared and looked away unaffected, but Ino took it as a victory, 'Ha! The first to look away is always the loser in a glaring contest, Hyuga!' "Now that's settled! Any questions?"

The group sweat dropped, 'Did she just forget she never told us the plan?'

"Ooh! Ooh! Ino! Right here! Question! Question!"

Ino's eyes searched the crowd for any raised hands; she frowned, "No questions? Anyone?"

"OOH! OOH! INO! INO! RIGHT HERE, INO! INO! QUESTION! QUESTION! OOH! RIGHT HERE! INOOOO!"

Ino's frown deepened, "No questions at all?"

'Is she serious?'

"INOOOO! RIIIIGHTT HEEEREEE! QUEEEESTIIOOON! I HAVE A QUESTIIIOOOON!"

"Um, I think Naruto, um, has a question, I-Ino."

Ino whirled around to the source of the voice, "Huh? What, Hinata? Oh, oh! If you had a question, Naruto, you could've just said something!" laughed Ino as she turned to him with an attentive face.

Naruto scratched the back of his head while he chuckled awkwardly, "Uh, right. Well, what's the plan?"

Cocking her had to the side, Ino laughed again, "We already went over this, Naruto! But fine, I'll go over it again, okay?"

"Yeah…um, thanks."

"Okay! Everyone knows the plan, right?" Ino whispered as she crouched down behind the row of bushes across the street from Ichiraku's.

"This is ridiculous, Ino! A bunch of sappy, movie moments is not going to work!" Tenten yelled. "And I mean, come on, eight people hiding behind a bush, well, counting Lee, but he's still passed out. But this certainly isn't inconspicuous! They'll notice, you know."

"Oh shut your yapping, Tenten; this is full-proof. Shikamaru, Chouji, did you send the messages?"

Shikamaru lazily yawned and looked away briefly from the night sky, "Yeah, Ino. Just like you said."

munch "Yep." munch

"Well, alright! Let's get this show on the road!" Throwing a fist up, Ino whirled her head around to watch her master plan unfold.

Pg. 74. Definition of "sucky day" (suh-kee da-)
By Sakura Haruno

Must have:

-Fallen out of bed (more like "fall like a ton of bricks out the door and down the stairs" kind of "fall")

-Broken your alarm clock (because you threw it out the window all the way to the side of the Hokage Tower, then proceeded to hunt it down and beat the pure crap out of it just for malicious kicks)

-Arrived late for work (because of aforementioned alarm clock, lack of hot water, and a very empty stomach)

-Had an "unpleasant" day at work (includes distresses of the following: all janitors quitting because the entire villages' hot water was accidentally routed to work place, a horde of injured ninjas checking in at exact same point in time as said natural disaster, and a certain blond friend picking today, of all days, to piss the royal crap out of ferocious, lovable, but ferocious boss)

and last but certainly not least,

-Received a demanding message to accompany earlier referred to (see point four) blond to devour the food substance called ramen.

Sakura Haruno was 100 percent, completely, irrevocably, truly, wholly, absolutely, and fully

pissed off beyond all recognition.

Sasuke Uchiha

Genius, Witty, Prodigy, Quick, Powerful,
Could-Kick-Your-Butt, Apathetic, Unaffected,
Cool, Controlled, Smart, and Perceptive

Point of Current Observance:

A little wet?
Check.

Kinda sweaty?
Check.

Stomping?
Check.

Fisted hands?
Check.

Throbbing temple?
Check.

Angry glare?
Check.

I-hate-the-world-touch-me-and-die expression?
Double Check.

And since Sasuke Uchiha prided himself in his glorious and
unparalleled deductive reasoning skills,

he reasonably concluded that Sakura Haruno was

(mightpossibly,maybejustatad,it'spossible,
Isupposeitcouldbetrue,maybewasalittle)

ready to kill someone.

"What are you doing here, Sasuke?" she aggressively questioned, popping out her hip and placing a slender, gloved hand on top.

-Ugh! Sakura, that was not a very friendly greeting to your future husband! What is she thinking?-
-Ino! Shut it! Stop talking so loud!-

He fought the smirk tugging at the corner of his lip as he reminded himself that no matter how amusing it was to watch her seethe, it was not worth what happened the first and last time he ever tested Sakura's patience on one of these days. Resisting the temptation to not answer, Sasuke muttered, "Naruto," before looking away and promptly stuffing his hands deep into his pockets.

Sighing shortly, Sakura nodded her head into the direction Ichiraku was, "Same here. Come on, might as well get this day over with already. But I'm certainly not waiting for Naruto to get here. Showing up is enough for today," she mumbled the end, all the while stepping under the short curtains of the ramen stall.

-Ooh! They're in!-
-Yeah, well, we're gonna be found out if you don't shut up!-
-Oh, quit whining!-

Sasuke followed closely behind and raked a frustrated hand through his spiky hair as he sat down at the counter, "Bad day, huh?"

-Aw! He's asking how her day went!- (gush)

She huffed in response, "You don't know the half of it, Sasuke."

Raising a single eyebrow, Sasuke opened his mouth to ask a question, but the waitress beat him to it.

"What would you two like today?"

"The usual. Small miso ramen, please," Sakura attempted at a polite statement. She quirked her eyebrows up and looked at Sasuke, "How about you?"

He rolled his eyes and folded his arms before replying, "Make her's a medium, and I don't want anything."

-That is so cute! He ordered for her!-
-Ino! Enough fangirling!-

Watching the waitress leave, Sakura grumpily knitted her forehead together in irritation, "I didn't want a medium, and I don't need you to tell me what to eat."

-What is she doing?! She is so ungrateful!-
-Pipe down, Ino, or I'll shove a kunai down your throat!-
-Don't get your panties in a twist, Tenten. They are obviously engaged at the moment. We're fine!-

-Quiet..-
-Sulk SILENTLY, Hyuga!-

"You probably haven't eaten since yesterday, Sakura. Aren't medics supposed to take care of themselves or something?" You look sick, you know. Sasuke pointed out after he had snapped his head in the other direction, looking away stubbornly.

And slightly offended because, hey, he was trying to do something nice.

And Sakura sighed softly in defeat, but quietly broke apart her chopsticks when the bowl of ramen was placed in front of her, "Okay, you win." She peeked over her size medium meal and guiltily glanced at Sasuke, "So, um, your mission went well?"

He leaned forward on his elbows with his fingers laced together and shrugged, head slightly tilted towards her, "Fine." You don't want to know. Easily catching the disappointment in her eyes at his less-than-detailed description, he grunted quietly, "We ran into a few problems, but the all the feudal lords are safe, probably happily bathing in their money right now."

Sakura chuckled at such a Sasuke-like dry humor, "As long as the client's satisfied, I guess. Besides, I was wondering when Tsunade-shinsou would lighten up and give you something other than an ANBU mission."

It was an ANBU mission.

The slight jerk in his shoulders told her he was about to make some superman comment, as usual.

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine." You shouldn't worry about me, Sakura.

She snorted. Typical. "You may be, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself, too. Which, by the way, have you had anyone give you a check up, Sasuke?"

Looking like he as debating on slouching back in his chair and crossing his arms, but deciding against it, Sasuke leaned his head into his palm, suppressing the tired yawn that was steadily making its way up his throat, "No, I don't need to." It'd only be one more unnecessary thing you'd have to do.

Sakura set down her chopsticks and turned towards him,

-and he sighed because that was a sure sign
of an approaching lecture on not being so careless-

"You shouldn't be so careless with yourself, Sasuke! You've skipped the last three check ups and you've been on some very long missions lately. Look at you; you look like you're going to fall off your seat."

He wrinkled up his forehead and stared at her with clear doubt in his eyes, "Like you don't?" Worry about yourself, Sakura. You do too much.

Sakura groaned out loud, "Don't avoid the subject, Sasuke. You need to get checked out, make sure you're good and healthy."

Sasuke inhaled, about to protest, but Sakura had already snapped her fingers and resumed talking.

"I know, you can come over to my apartment, and I'll give you a check up myself."

Just go home and rest, Sakura. "You don't need to do that. I told you, I'm fine."

-What's he doing? Say yes to the apartment, Sasuke!-

She hopped off her seat, wobbling slightly when she hit the ground, that not going unnoticed by her partner, and extended a hand to Sasuke, "Nope! Not taking 'no' for an answer, Sasuke! Naruto's late, and we're leaving! And no complaining! I've got enough chakra, so no worries."

Sliding off his seat as well, Sasuke sighed, but still murmured a gentle "Thank you" before obediently following her, closely watching her steps to make sure she wasn't about to fall or pass out.

And suddenly, an observation hit Ino like a ton of bricks.

She grinned and lightly laughed because Sasuke wasn't as hopeless
as she thought he was.

Arms crossed, frown intact, looking away,
but he was always looking at Sakura.

Just out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, did anyone tell Naruto and Hinata to forget about the whole 'rose petal' thing?"

"HEY MOM! LOOK! IT'S RAINING ROSES AT ICHIRAKU'S!"

giggle "Pfft, it's a wonderful color on you, Sasuke. Great with your skin tone."

"Guess not."

!The Love Doctor!

Because Ino just always knows what's best.

Even if Sakura and Sasuke ended up having to walk through
a barrage of singing groups, violin players, fireworks, and really
obnoxious gondola owners.

Fin

Please review,
~dances.'

Like this? Check out "Of Firemen and Pyromaniacs".