Hey everyone,
I guess not a lot of people now this but I'm quite a Loki fan, I've pretty much always been. Even before all the Thor and Avengers stuff(though I do of course like that a lot as well) and well I have a lot of people asking my why I can't see Loki just as a villan and well why I always say that the way he has gone sorta insane isn't his fault and well thanks to that I came up with the idea for this little story, It's really short but it's sorta a peek into Loki's head and his reasons for doing what he does...
Anyway enjoy and of course let me know what you think of it by reviewing or sending a message if you prefer that!
Is this my fault? Is it? No, no this can't be my fault, right? I mean after all these years of lies and fake promises standing in the shadow of that person they made me believe was my brother they expect me to carry on living like I used to. Tell me, who wouldn't go mad when everything that person thought was true has never been more than just a mere lie, while you find out that you were kept alive solely for the sake of maintaining an unreachable peace. That you might just as well be dead by now, no one would care anyway. When you feel like you've been sucked up in a dark void feeling nothing but lonesome, desolated, betrayed and rejected with Death closer than ever, who wouldn't go insane?
I've lost everything I thought I had and they still point their fingers only at me. They say I'm to blame for the way I'm acting, but I'm not. I know it's not my fault. I have to admit I have never been the kindest person around and I've always been quite a trickster, but once I used to represent Light just as much as Darkness. I was the personification of balance in all the nine realms, but I guess that balance has been destroyed by now.
They fear me for the fact that I'm a Jötun, but were they afraid before they knew I was? Of course they weren't! They would rather be afraid of my "brother" instead. And when they would, I'd be there again standing in his massive shadow, since that seems to be the only thing I'm good at. Standing in someone else's shadow.
They're angry at me, angry because I wanted to demolishing Jotunheim and Midgard. But I have rights as well. I am and will always be the rightful heir to the throne of Jotunheim. But they took that away from me. After that they lied to me for years, saying I might just as well as Thor be the next king of Asgard. But of course I do now see I wouldn't have ever been. If anyone has the right to be angry, it's me. Especially at my so-called father, the one who saw me as nothing but a mere tool which he only needed for something that was unrealizable from the beginning anyway. The one person who declared himself as my "father" but has lied to me the most of all. He who is judging me for what I have done because of the lies he has told me himself! The mighty Allfather who sees himself pure perfection, but has failed terribly as a parent.
They think it's weird that I'm hiding behind a mask of insensibility and hatred, but what else can I do? There is no one left who cares for me, no one that can pull me out of this dark void. A void where you can't do anything else but go deranged. A place where they is no happiness left. There are just dark emotions swirling in your head while voices keep telling you what to do. Some voices still have a bit of goodness in them, they would say things like: 'Don't do it, you still care about them remember?' But they will always get countered by the majority of the voices, the dark ones. Saying I should just do it, they don't deserve anything better. And slowly the good voices are disappearing just like those happy emotions already have. That's how I'm slowly losing myself, I'm going insensate and crazy from the darkness that is pulling at me, the darkness I used to be able to keep balanced. Now it's devouring me, eating me from the inside out starting with me icy heart. And there is nothing I can do about it. I'm lost and no one will ever find me again.
Well that was it again, hope you enjoyed it and like I said before please let me know what you think of it!