Three Christmases

A collection of three Christmases that Alex might have had, I've only watched up to S3 Ep 7 (waiting until Christmas eve 'till I watch the last Ep, my early Christmas prezzie to myself) I have an incredibly long A2A story I'm currently writing/re-writing, made out of one shots, but I'm putting them together and deciding how to arrange them- so keep an eye out if you like. I try to keep my stories away from/mentioning important plot events so all can read, please comment or say positive critisisum-I'm a big girl (even if I cant actually spell criticism) I can handle it if you think I've butchered the characters :)

-25thDecember 1981-

"If it 'adn't bloody snowed, we'd be at 'ome with me mum" Shaz's carrying voice floated over from the other table.

"Well you're stuck with us for the time being" Ray said, frowning at Chris and Shaz's display of public affection.

The whole team was at Luigi's, only Luigi's didn't look like Luigi's. This morning, when Alex was dragged out of bed to go to a drugs blag she thought she'd walked into the wrong room for a moment. Luigi had been slowly putting up decorations for a few weeks, but somehow overnight he'd made the restaurant look like a Santa's grotto. Mistletoe hung everywhere, tinsel wrapped around roof supports and there was three Christmas trees around the place. Even the menu wasn't safe, as Luigi had a special Christmas list, with an all manner of roasted delicacies, mulled wine and Christmas pudding galore.

But the general cheery feel wasn't felt by everyone in CID; the Guv didn't seem to notice the decorations, except to comment "if one bloody strand of tinsel ends up in me office…"

His mind seemed to be, when not on a case, on other things…well one person in particular.

Alex.

The Guv knew there was something up with her, all week she'd not been her usual annoying, gutsy, defiant self, actually come to think of it ever since the mention Christmas she'd been funny. Women's problems was his initial thought but then the Guv had caught her crying into the biscuit tin and thought about it and decided it was down to her daughter that she'd barely mentioned. He wondered why she didn't go and see her; she was always banging on about leaving.

Come Christmas Day she'd been in a terrible state, she turned up wearing sunglasses in a futile attempt to hide her red eyes. She didn't fool anyone. More than half of CID were off with their families and most of the criminal community had been laying low. Around five most of what was left of CID had cleared off.

Alex had stayed at CID until the Guv practically dragged her out.

"You look like you could do with it an' I'm not bloody drinking on my own with the mood this lot's in" He'd said as he led her to the Quattro.

"what? You need me to protect you from the mistletoe?" She grinned at him as she shut her door.

And tonight she'd barely touched the drink in front of her, only stared sadly into the amber depths, a little frown on her brow. Not the company he'd been expecting, but hey beggars can't be choosers.

Alex stared at the glass in her hand. It was interesting to see the pattern at the bottom dance in the light, it reminded her of something…no…don't think she thought to herself. Don't think about that, like you did yesterday. She closed her eyes trying not to yet somehow remembering.

She been in CID's kitchenette making a cuppa, when she'd opened the biscuit tin that everyone had hidden from Chris to stop him eating all the biscuits, when she'd open it she found Christmas tree shaped biscuits covered in bright green icing, and she'd suddenly remembered the tree biscuits with bright green icing that she and Evan, and then later Molly and Evan, made every Christmas, and then suddenly hot tears were pouring down her face, by the time the Guv had come in she was crying too hard to hear him.

"oi Bolls, is that water hot? I fancy a cuppa meself"

She gasped, and held her breath to stop her from sobbing and quickly rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes to stop the tears. She let out a shaky breathe, all too aware of the Guv standing there staring at her. Without turning around and still trying to wipe the tears from her eyes she spoke.

"uh, yeah, it's hot, I'll make you-" she let out one of those involuntary gaspy sobs that you get when you've been crying hard or stopped crying too fast. "a cuppa"

She hoped he'd bugger off, but he didn't.

"What's up with you, then?"

She swallowed, closed her eyes, took a shaky breath then turned around, pulling a too big cheesy grin. "nothing, why would there be anything wrong?" she shook her head slightly as she spoke, her eyes wide, trying to stop more tears from making an appearance.

The Guv raised his eyebrows "right," he turned then left.

The smile disappeared and she lent back on the kitchen counter.

Then suddenly, making her jump, his head popped back around the corner "I'll be in me office, bring me the brew"

And so they'd continued working on the case and he'd not mentioned anything and she was grateful, the truth would just make him think she was even more fuitcakey than he already did, not that it really mattered to her, as she knew he was just a subconscious recessional form she wasn't really bothered. Well at least she tried not to be bothered, but secretly she had a soft spot for Manc Lion, he may not be her favorite construct but he had his moments and he was definetly growing on her. She wondered if it was Christmas back in Molly's world-her world, the world she was trying so desperetly to get back to, but nothing seemed work.

"oi Bolls!" she blinked back into 1981 "are you cryin'?"

"no," she said, smearing her mascara as she wiped tears away "back in a minuet" she said, pulling another false smile.

When she looked into the mirror of the ladies in Luigi's she thought she looked more panda than human. She ran the tap, deciding just to wipe off all the smeary mess.

The door opened, she kept her head down, hoping whoever it was would go straight to the cubical and not notice her quiet sobs over the sound of the tap running. She rubbed her eyes.

"you ok Bolls?"

"shit" she brought her head up, briefly noted to herself that she looked worse-pale, mascara smeared halfway down her face, hell there was even some on her nose.

"what are you doing in here-it's the ladies-if Luigi-"

"yes, I noticed it was the ladies, anyway its only our sorry lot and Shaz doesn't look like she's going anywhere soon"

"even so-"

"anyway, you're one to talk, always barging in after me, people are starting to-"

"oh, piss off" she turned back to the mirror her eyes stinging, unsure if it was because of the makeup or the tears. She started wiping her face, not caring if it hurt her skin. She heard the Guv step closer.

"you didn't answer my question" he said after a moment.

Alex was too tired to argue, she just wanted to curl up and sleep under a blanket for the rest of the night.

"No, I'm not ok, I don't feel well," major understatement "I think I'll call it an early night."

The Guv pouted. "Before you even opened yer presents, thought you'd be one for all that bollocks"

"I hope you didn't get me anything"

"you got me something"

"I'd hardly call socks and adequate present, I had no clue what else to -ouch- get you" she'd accidently poked herself in the eye.

The Guv nodded, then pulled out a badly wrapped package, put it on top of the sink next to her.

"you know where to find the Gene Genie"

She half laughed, most of the makeup off her face, one red eye and both eyes shining with tears, even though she'd just dried her face on her sleeve. She turned to him. He had one hand on the wall, the other on his hip. He stared at her, a half smile on his face. Much to her annoyance a brief image came to mind, involving her hugging him and telling him everything. She shoved the idea into the back of her head. The real Gene Hunt then lent his head forward then, removed his hands and put them in his pockets, standing up straight, stepping closer. His face about a foot from hers, their eyes never leaving the others.

Tosser, probably just wants to get into my knickers she thought, trying to avoid thoughts about his soft side. BLOODY HELL GENE HUNT SOFT?! Yet she had seen him when - the thought was cut off when he suddenly reached out and put a palm on her cheek, his thumb rubbed her nose.

"missed a bit" he said, then he turned and disappeared out of the door.

Alex stood there for a moment.

Then she turned and looked in the mirror, her cheeks were flushed red. At least she didn't have any makeup on anymore. She looked at the gift he'd left, it was small but she knew great things came in small packages...

Sooo, yeah hows that for a first posted Fanfic? Please review, and point out any mistakes, thank you VERY much for taking the time to read, have a great (and safe) Christmas, I'll probably have more up before the big day, glad we didn't all die on the 21st!