OH, MAN! I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to write this fic. At least a year… Now it's summer vacation and I have plenty of time to write it! Okay, anyway, it's a combination of about 5 or 6 (maybe more later) books, stories, movies, TV shows, ANYTHING I can think of, but it's all based in the world of Harry Potter. I'm putting in stuff from Harry Potter (of course), LotR, Artemis Fowl, Star Wars, perhaps even the Pendragon books. You may also find a bit of random stuff from my life stuck here or there. Don't worry; I'll explain stuff that most of you wouldn't know. There is also an original bit, Ela, the main character, and her friends. Anyway, I'm having SO much fun writing this so I hope you like it. If you hate it, then you can go die. Oh, and before I go on, I must give credit where credit is due. I was inspired to write this story by SilverPhoenix25 and her delightfully insane Harry Potter parodies and Spunkz the Wacked Out Spaz, with her Harry Potter Truth-or-Dare. And I'd also like to thank my friend Manga for just being my friend and letting me put her in my story. You guys rock! Oh yeah, the first chapter's pretty short, as it mostly just introduces the story, but the following chapters will be longer, better, and hopefully not quite so stupid.
Disclaimer: I'm just going to do one big general disclaimer. Nothing really belongs to me except the (lack of) plot, Ela, Manga, and Luna. Almost everything else…well, it comes from different places. I'm not going to turn this into a scavenger hunt and find all the names of everyone who wrote (directed and produced, in the cases of movies) the material I'm ripping off. You can do that yourself. =)
Chapter 1: The Girl Who Lived… In Florida
The sun blazed mercilessly down on the faded asphalt of a small Floridian neighborhood. Children playing in their yards slowly baked in the violent UV rays beating down on them. That stupid kid Timmy next door was trying to set his house on fire… again. And a bored teenage girl named Ela sat alone in front of her house, reading a shamelessly plugged Harry Potter book, sipping the just-a-little-too sweet blue raspberry-lemonade Kool-Aid her sister made the day before. Actually, she wasn't really reading the book; she was counting how many times the name "Lupin" appeared in it… but that's not really important. The important part is, Ela was sick of all this stupid sun. She liked rain! RAIN! Why must she be tortured by the Florida summer? Ela threw down her book and stormed inside.
The television in the living room was still on the news channel. Ela waited impatiently for the weather report. The just so dang convenient, "your-morning-forecast-on-the-nines-that-is-just-such-a-smart-idea-because-you-can-never-possibly-ever-miss-the-weather-that-way" report. Problem was, it was 11:02 and Ela would have to wait another 7 minutes for the weather. Yeah, real convenient. So, she did what any sane person would do. She ran outside and called upon the Tiki Goddess of rain, Rafikia.
"Rafikia, Goddess of the Rain, send your blessing upon this land! Please! It's really hot! I swear! My cat just spontaneously combusted!" Ela kept shouting random pleas to the sky, yet nothing happened. In fact, it got even hotter. Ela ran back inside and picked up her cordless phone. She angrily dialed her best friend Manga's number.
"Manga, you must come over. It's too hot and I'm bored out of my MIND!" Ela shouted at the receiver.
"Ela," started Manga. "I can't, I have to babysit my brothers…"
"I implore you to reconsider," said Ela, thoughtfully.
"Okay!" exclaimed Manga. "I'll be right over."
Manga trudged the grueling two WHOLE blocks to Ela's house in the violent sun in precisely 4 minutes, 26 seconds, 92 milliseconds, and 12 nanoseconds. Ela greeted her in front of the door.
"Oh thank you Manga, I…" Thud.
"Um, what was that?" Manga inquired, looking around for the source of the noise.
"Oh look, it's… an owl…"
Sure enough, lying in Ela's front yard was a screech owl who had randomly fallen from the sky. Despite the fact that screech owls, like most other owls, are in fact nocturnal and not native to the particular area of Florida that Ela lived in and since I'm using this as an ill-conceived plot device to promote us to the really important part of the story, we'll just say the girls accepted it as a common occurrence and walked over to the owl. Ela found a parchment envelope tied to its leg.
"Hey cool, parchment," said Ela. Then she promptly took a lighter out of her pocket and ignited the poor little envelope. It never had a chance.
"Wait, what'd you do that for?" asked Manga, shocked. "It could have been important!"
"Just hang on," said Ela, looking down at her watch. "Three… two… one…" she whispered.
Suddenly, like a hailstorm of paper, about three thousand identical parchment envelopes dropped from the sky around the two friends. They got a few paper cuts, but they survived. Ela snatched up another envelope.
"Should I get rid of these first, go crazy, and go to an island and all that?" she asked.
"Nah, let's skip that part," replied Manga. "It'd be almost a little too rippy-offy."
"True."
Ela opened the envelope and found a small letter written on the same parchment as the envelope. The note, written in green ink, read:
To Miss Ela,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Even though you live in Florida. You can bring your friend Manga, too, if you want…
"Cool," said Manga. "It looks like we're going to Hogwarts.
Suddenly out of nowhere, a swirling vortex fell from the sky. Dark clouds gathered around it as it moved closer to Manga and Ela at an amazing speed. Its fierce winds lifted them from the ground as if they weighed nothing. They hurtled into the heart of the spinning tornado. Then it sucked itself back into the sky and disappeared with a blinding flash.
Timmy, Ela's stupid next-door-neighbor, watched curiously as the dark clouds faded away. As if by magic, a stray gust of wind ripped a limb off the tree he was under and smashed him in the head. Haha, serves him right for being a nosy little punk. I mean, and that's where the adventure really begins…
Yes Virginia, freaky swirling vortices really DO exist… Okay, that's all for the first chapter. I know it's short, I apologize, but I have fun plans for the second chapter. Actually, I was going to write the second chapter today, but I'm going jet-skiing so… Sometimes it does pay to live by the ocean, huh? Hehe… Review my little wicked minions or I shall find you and slip white oleander into your food… Uh… BYE!