All I Want
(…for Christmas… is you) lol just kidding
Pt. I
"Wait… We have to what?"
"We've gotta get each other Christmas presents. It's right here in writing—Xemnas's orders," Xigbar said, gesturing to the sheet of paper that someone had taped to the wall. "You want proof, come check it out."
"Lame," Demyx said, leaning back and strumming chords on his sitar. "Somehow I don't think Xemnas actually issued those orders."
"Yeah? Well then who did?" Xigbar replied. "Because I don't really think anyone else in here has that creepy handwriting." He pointed at the sheet of paper again.
"I don't think it sounds like such a bad idea," Xion said from the opposite side of the room.
"As if the rest of us don't already have enough work to do," Xigbar countered.
"Yeah, and seriously, how many of us do you think care about Christmas?" Demyx added. "It's not like we have the hearts for it."
Xion shrugged. "But it's like a try at being normal."
The two of them responded by staring at her.
"Well," she said a little more quietly, "suit yourselves." She turned and began to walk out of the room.
"Hold it, Poppet," Xigbar called out. Xion stopped, turning on her heel to face him. He grinned. "Guess who you're supposed to buy a Christmas present?"
"Who?" Xion asked.
"Why, none other than Saïx, of course," Xigbar replied. "You have fun with that."
Xion left the room.
"She's optimistic," Demyx remarked. "'Specially for someone who was all for it just a few seconds ago."
"Yeah? You wanna know who you're supposed to be buying a present for, Demyx?" Xigbar asked, facing the list with a hand on his hip.
"Uh… who?" Demyx asked. His hands paused in attacking the strings of his sitar.
"Zexion."
"Whoa. You scared me for a minute there."
"What does that mean?"
"Coulda been worse, you know?"
Xigbar shook his head. "Whatever you say."
As the other members of the Organization walked into the room, Xigbar made it his personal duty to inform them of Xemnas's orders.
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas…"
"Xiggy, stop it. Your voice is awful. It sounds like a dying Heartless on narcotics." Demyx strummed another chord on his sitar.
"Yeah? What the heck does that sound like?" Xigbar asked, planting one hand on his hip. "Somehow I doubt you've ever heard one."
"I'm hearing it right now. It sounds just like your voice." He kept strumming.
"You know, I've always thought your sitar sounds like a pack of tone-deaf—"
"Xigbar, am I interrupting something, or may I ask you about those orders you said you had for me?" Vexen asked, striding into the room and cutting him off midsentence.
"Fine, fine, I'll tell you," Xigbar conceded, walking over to the list. "You've got the Organization's one and only Number Two."
"…Oh."
"Yo, Saïx."
"Yes, Xigbar?"
"You hear about the Superior's orders yet?"
"No." Saïx crossed his arms and stared at Xigbar. "What orders would he have issued that I would not have heard about?"
"That's an interesting question," Xigbar replied. "'Cause guess what? Your orders are right here: you've gotta buy him a Christmas present."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Cross my heart and hope to die," Xigbar said and grinned.
"Larxene! How were missions this morning, my friend?"
"No one said we were friends, Xigbar." The blonde woman gave a toss of her head.
"Whatever. Have you seen these orders?" Xigbar asked, gesturing to the sheet taped to the wall.
"What orders? Don't tell me we're going back to Castle Oblivion or something." Larxene rolled her eyes.
"You're supposed to find Axel a Christmas present."
"What?! That ungrateful bastard deserves nothing! I refuse!" Larxene responded, stomping her foot.
"Your prerogative, babe, but they're Xemnas's orders."
"Don't you call me that, you creep!"
"Roxas! Number XIII! I see you're doing well. You hear about the orders yet?"
"Orders?" Roxas asked, stopping halfway across the Grey Area. "Did I miss something?"
"Yeah," Xigbar answered, "you probably did. Nobody I've asked has heard anything about this yet. You wanna check it out?"
"Sure," Roxas agreed. "What is it?"
"Santa Claus is comin' to town," Xigbar announced.
"Uh… Whatever that means."
"What it means is that you're buying Xion a present."
"N-no way!"
"Way, Key boy. You two have fun." Xigbar smirked.
"I—I'm going back to my room…" Roxas stammered before running from the Grey Area.
"Well well well, if it isn't the Flurry of Dancing Flames."
"If it isn't the Freeshooter."
Xigbar grinned. "That's me."
"Are you replacing Saïx today or what?" Axel stopped in the center of the room with a hand on his hip.
"Naw… Well, I mean… Seeing as how he isn't here and everything," Xigbar concluded. "You wanna hear your orders?"
"Orders?"
"Yeah. Xemnas gave 'em to us this morning. Posted them on a sheet of paper on the wall and everything," Xigbar informed him, gesturing to the sheet on the wall. "Ready for this?"
"Hit me."
"You've gotta get a Christmas present for… Roxas."
"Roxas?!" Axel exclaimed, his face going slightly red. "You—you made that up, didn't you? Xemnas wouldn't actually ask me to do that."
"Well, he's your friend, ain't he?"
"Um… Yeah," Axel muttered. "He is."
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…"
"Kingdom Hearts," a voice cursed. "What is that noise? And—for God's sake, what are chestnuts?"
"You don't remember chestnuts, Marluxia?" Xigbar asked. "You, my friend, were a deprived human being."
"Whatever, Xigbar."
"Speaking of being a human being, have you heard about the new orders?"
"Only from every single other member of the Organization."
"Ahhh… But do you know who you're supposed to buy a present for?"
"I must admit I don't."
"Let's see here…" Xigbar searched the list. "Larxene."
"Hmmm."
"Is that all you have to say, Marluxia?"
A/N: Wait... Did I actually post this? Oh.
Well, to quote Jack Skellington, I'm in a Christmas mood, so sorry. XD