Author's Note: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.
She was shattered, heartbroken, devastated. He had left her, like all the others. Yet this time, it was so much worse, this time she didn't get any closure, she didn't get to tell him how much he meant to her, how much she loved him...
This was just like when Dan and Nawaki had died. Except back then she was being comforted in the arms of the man she was now mourning, crying into his chest, clutching his shirt and never wanting him to let go of her. Yet this time, it was so much worse and it had her reeling in realization. When Dan and Nawaki had died, she felt a part of herself was lost with them, buried six feet under. Now, it felt like somebody had ripped her soul out of her body, and burnt it in the eternal flames of Amaterasu.
"Baka" she cursed him, tears pouring down her cheeks like a torrent. He had promised her he would be by her side for eternity and beyond, guiding her in her post as Hokage, annoying her to no end, requesting an endless stream of dates. Perhaps it was her fault. After all, everyone she loved left her, it was as if she was cursed. She had vowed to herself after her brother and former lover's demise, that she would never allow anyone into her heart again, that she would never love again...
Yet, Jiraiya still somehow wormed his way into her heart. She reminisced about their first meeting, he was such an obnoxious, overbearingly loud brat. He'd proclaimed he'd be the strongest ninja in Konoha, and he'd backed up that claim by some distance. She knew he was the strongest of the three, and she knew Orochimaru knew. That was why he'd planned his invasion when his former teammate wasn't there to stop him.
She remembered as he pouted when all the girls swooned after Orochimaru, who had that 'mysterious and cool' thing going on. Yet she'd never liked him; not that she had liked him as a friend either. She'd always been revolted by his attitude and behavior, and that pasty skin of his coupled with that long tongue of his which made her want to puke. She'd go comfort her baka, and when he'd give her that lecherous grin of his, which secretly made her heart skip a beat and do a somersault, she'd hit him on the head, grinning in satisfaction and skipping away.
She gave a watery chuckle as she remembered as she remembered the first time he called her 'Hime', she'd blushed tomato red (which she still did until the last time he'd addressed her by that). He laughed at her, and she punched him across Konoha, her blush still etched onto her face. She had watched him grow from this fat, chubby, little kid to this suave, sinfully sexy man who towered above everyone in the Elemental Nations. His obsidian eyes, which held such raw power in them, yet looked at her with the gentlest warmth. His gorgeous white hair coupled those titanic shoulders and those muscled arms, her eyes glazed at the thought of him.
Snapping out of her lust-induced haze, she sighed. She'd missed her chance; to let him know how she'd felt, to give him that one chance he so desperately craved and rightfully earned. He'd always been there for her, strong and silent, he'd gathered her into his arms for an endless number of days, whispering soothing words of comfort into her ears. She missed the feeling of being in his arms, cuddling into his warm chest, dozing off to sleep in his embrace. As she traced the headstone of his resting place with the tips of her fingers, it finally struck her-Jiraiya, her Jiraiya was gone, never ever to come back. This induced another bout of sobs, and it felt like an eternity until they had finally subsided.
She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. 'Jiraiya would want you to be strong' she internally chided herself. And she would, in public at least. She was the Hokage and had to appear strong. Behind the scenes though, it was a totally different situation. She still could not believe that Jiraiya, her Jiraiya, was gone. He'd always been so larger than life, always there for her, somehow managing to both annoy and comfort. But then she realized that Jiraiya was never hers. Despite his best of efforts, she'd always reject his advances. 'Maybe it was for the best' one side of her mused, 'you'd be hurt ten times more if you had allowed him to come any closer'. But then the other side of her brain argued back, 'But he wouldn't have gone if I were with him'. She dumped her head onto her hands. She felt so guilty, guilty for denying both herself and him, for depriving them of what would've been a magical journey together. 'What if I'd heeded his words and stayed back in the village after Dan and Nawaki's death. But more importantly, what would've happened of us?' she questioned herself.
Realizing that she'd lost her chance, she let the tears fall freely down her rosy cheeks. She could think of only one solution at this point - sake.
Just when she gathered herself up and return to her abode to go drunk on her sorrow, she heard a slight rustling of the wind. "I couldn't let you win the bet now, could I Hime?".
Tsunade froze when his voice reached her ears. She turned around slowly, eyes open in shock and disbelief...
A gasp hitched in Tsunade's throat.
"After all, you do have a reputation to uphold, Legendary Sucker" she could practically feel that annoyingly endearing smirk of his. Was she seeing hallucinations. After all this time, after all her losses, had she finally turned insane? Was Jiraiya's death the last nail in the coffin for her sanity. She was aroused from her silent pondering by Jiraiya's voice.
"Hime, look at me when I talk to you". His voice was sharp as a knife, slicing through the stillness effortlessly. She'd heard this voice of his many a time before during wartime, yet she was never the subject of it. He seemed to have reserved a special caring and affectionate tone of his for hers only. Yet, she found it difficult to disobey his command. Despite her stature as Hokage, it was no secret to anyone how much influence he held over the on-goings in the village and how much he was used to being in charge. His stint as a Jounin teacher was testimony to that.
She turned around and looked at anywhere but him. She just wanted this to be get over with as soon as possible and be left to wallow in misery by herself. "Hime" he called out to her affectionately. She looked up at him, cursing at her distinct lack of height. She must be so fragile and small in his eyes, which was the last thing she wanted to happen.
"You..you're not r-real" she stammered, trying to control her tears.
"Yes I am Hime" he replied "look, here" he spoke as he reached out to touch her. She closed her eyes as he cupped her cheek, hoping her lack of vision would be enough to dispel the illusion and make him go away. So to say she was surprised when she still felt his large hands caressing her cheeks would be an understatement.
Slowly, tentatively she opened her eyes to see a beautiful, tender smile grace his features. "You know I would never leave you" That did for her. She hugged him as tight as she could and wept into his strong chest as he held her. "Shh, it's alright Hime, I came back". She looked up at him, her gaze meeting his, his hands moving out to wipe off her tears, and trying his luck, kissed away some of them. She sighed tranquilly into his chest as she felt his lips press softly onto her flawless skin.
"I thought you were dead. I..I thought you-you had left me" she whispered.
"But I didn't. The mission, Hokage-sama, was a success" he replied in sarcastic trademark fashion and hugged her even tighter, breathing in her irresistible luscious lemon scent.
"I hate you" she grumbled into his chest.
"Love you too, my Hime" he chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. She hoped he didn't see how her face flushed when he kissed her (which he unfortunately did, she wasn't infamous as the 'Legendary Sucker' without good reason). Smirking at this, he purred seductively into her ear, "So Hokage-sama, are you ready to be debriefed by me?". If possible, she flushed even further as she hit his shoulder. He stumbled back, not missing how her cheeks were bright pink, and gave a lewd grin at this.
"You baka. Come to my place. You can tell me about your mission there, and you might as well stay there until you're fully healed, considering that your injuries are so extensive" she spoke authoritatively. He nodded and was about to move when she spoke again, "Oh and Jiraiya," she called out, "I want all the mission details, all of them. If I think even for a moment that you're lying to me or hiding something, I'll get Inoichi Yamanaka, Ibiki Morino and Anko Mitarashi from T & I to spill your secrets" she finished with a malevolent glint in her eyes. Jiraiya shuddered at this. He'd decided to keep out some of the more disturbing and gruesome facets of his mission, but that had all been swept off with a single warning.
"Tch, troublesome woman" he whined internally, and smiled when he realized he was beginning to think like a Nara. As he started to walk once more, he was again halted by her calling out his name. Thinking that she was about to threaten him again, he rolled his eyes and turned around again 'I get it Hime, no secre-" he stopped abruptly when he saw her face. She was looking anywhere but him, and that pink tinge had returned to her cheeks. "Um, Jiraiya..." she mumbled.
"Go on, we don't have the whole day" he urged her on.
"My feet are hurting." she spoke.
"So?" he questioned, looking confused. Internally though, he was grinning at the prospect of what she was requesting him to do.
"Can you uh, can you please carry me?" she implored him. She cursed herself for being so shy and incapable of coherent speech whilst in his presence. What had happened to her? Why was she being like this all of a sudden? He grinned at her, and picked her up bridal style. She would've yelped if it wren't for how smoothly he performed the manoeuvre.
Linking her arms around his neck she looked up at him "you could have just given me a piggyback ride".
"I know, but I wanted to hold my Princess in my arms" he replied, gazing at her deeply.
She hoped he couldn't see the blush on her face as he shun-shined them away to her apartment.