A/N: Written by Chaser 1 of Montrose Magpies for QLFC Round 5.
Prompt: Use the title of a story written by your Chaser 2 for inspiration. My Chaser 2 is Cookies-and-Ink, and I've chosen the title 'The Scent of Oranges'.
Optional prompts: (setting) Forbidden Forest; (action) pacing nervously; (dialogue) "Do you mind if we stop for a minute?"
This is a non-magical medieval-inspired AU.
Also for the Build a Zoo Challenge with the prompt 'different'.
Thank you so much to AlwaysPadfoot and Emiliya Wolfe for betaing this.
Word count: 2975
Narcissa's pulse pounded in her head as she paced back and forth near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, out of sight of Hogwarts Castle. Wizened old trees loomed high above her, casting eerie shadows across her path, but she paid them little mind. For once, she wasn't thinking about the foul beasts that were rumoured to lurk within the forest. There were more pressing issues at hand.
Remus was due to arrive shortly. His shift in the castle's barracks would have ended by now, and he was likely already on his way. As plain and insignificant as the man had seemed when they first met, she had developed an undeniable fondness for him. Usually, the thought of seeing him would fill Narcissa with a sense of giddy excitement that was so uncharacteristic of her that the first time it happened, she had feared she had an illness of the heart. But today, all she felt was nervous dread.
She knew what her family expected of her. When they learned of the knight's interest in her, they had advised her to humour him. The Blacks had fallen on hard times after it became known that they backed Tom Riddle in his quest to usurp King Albus and take the throne. While they despised the idea of her lowering herself by spending time with a Lupin, the information they could gain from the association had been enough to convince them of its utility. After all, Remus was numbered among Prince James' closest friends and was one of the king's lead tacticians.
Nevertheless, when it became clear that Remus intended to officially court her, her parents had insisted it was time to sever the connection. She had been hoping to have more time with him, but she had always known it would never last. No matter how low their family might fall, her parents would never allow her to besmirch the Black name by marrying a commoner.
Fighting back the urge to run a hand through her elaborately coiffed hair, Narcissa looked down at the ground and sighed. Her pacing had worn a trail into the grass, leaving the blades flattened. That was a shame; she hated imperfection. Yet she should have expected no different. She had arrived early to give herself time to prepare, and that had left her with nothing to do but to get caught up in her nerves.
There was no doubt in her mind about the decision she was going to make.
-x-
Remus hummed under his breath as he left the castle in the direction of the nearby village. His sword hung at his hip, at hand in case of an emergency, but he doubted he would need it. Highwaymen rarely targeted the road between Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, knowing that the barracks were close by and heavily guarded.
The further he travelled, the more he felt the stress slip from his shoulders. He had spent the last few days huddled over a map of the kingdom, trying to anticipate Riddle's next move. The most recent messages from the king's spies had been troubling indeed. Nobody knew what the usurper was planning, just that his numbers were increasing and he seemed to be ready to advance.
Everything was becoming muddled in his head, possible contingency plans overlapping until he couldn't think straight. When Narcissa invited him to go on a picnic, he had been eager for the break. It was his habit to work through meals until his tasks were completed, but in this case, he knew he needed the reprieve. When tacticians overworked themselves to the point of not thinking clearly, people tended to die.
He forced himself not to look in the direction of the forest, where he knew Narcissa would be waiting. The noblewoman made it a point of pride to be early to events, no matter how small they might be. It would have been quicker for him to cut across the wheat fields, but it was too great a risk. If anyone was watching his departure—and in a castle this size, somebody probably was—it would be safer for them to assume he was visiting the village on an errand.
Lying to his friends about his relationship with Narcissa didn't sit well with him, but there was nothing to be done about it. Her father would never approve of a courtship between them. She was convinced that their only hope was to wait until the king defeated Riddle and then petition him to override her family's wishes and give them a licence to wed.
Since the Blacks had a network of spies that extended even within the castle itself, that meant nobody could know until the time was right.
At first, he had been reluctant to see her under those conditions, but he had been unable to resist. Despite his knighthood, his family was poor and of foreign descent. Most people preferred not to associate with him outside of official business. Catching the interest of a noblewoman as beautiful and quick-witted as Narcissa was a great honour, and it was impossible not to become intoxicated by her attention.
In any case, he had no intentions of taking her virtue, so no harm would come from their liaison.
Besides, while his friends wouldn't appreciate the deception, they would understand. James had done far odder things in pursuit of his betrothed, Sirius would be grateful that another Black was abandoning the family's racist ways, and Peter had never been able to hold a grudge for long.
Glancing over his shoulder, Remus decided he was far enough away that anybody watching from the castle would see him as little more than a speck in the distance. The farmers were working close to the castle that day, so he didn't have to worry about them either. He took a sharp right and made his way towards the forest.
As he finally approached his destination, he caught sight of a woman pacing just beyond the outermost trees, partially hidden by branches and leaves. Her bright blonde hair was coiled atop her head and cut through the greenery like a moon through the night. If he hadn't known to look for her, he would have thought she was a bird.
He smiled as the familiar scent of oranges reached his nose—one puzzle he had never been able to solve was how she made her perfume so fragrant. No matter where she was or what she was doing, the vivid smell followed. As a result, Remus couldn't even see an orange without thinking of her. Many a feast had been complicated by fruit being brought out at inopportune moments.
"Narcissa," he whispered as he slipped into the forest. He should address her as Lady Narcissa, but they were beyond such formalities. It was one of the few benefits of courting in secret.
She stopped pacing and turned to face him, a broad smile lighting up her face. He found it commendable how, despite the trials her family put her through, she always managed to be in good spirits. "Remus. Seeing you does my heart a world of good."
"Only a world?" he asked, a giddy feeling bubbling up inside him as he took her hand and kissed it with practised ease. He had never felt as carefree as he did with her. "It does mine a universe."
She laughed.
When she'd told him that her father intended to betroth her to the Malfoy heir, he had been devastated. Yet, somehow, she had managed to divert Lord Lucius' attention to her sister Bellatrix. Since then, they had taken great amusement in mocking the nobleman's heavy-handed speech.
Such mockery was beneath Remus, but since the man had almost ruined their relationship, he was willing to allow himself some pettiness.
"Shall we get started?" he asked. He wished he could ignore his duties and stay with her all day, but he only had two hours before he would be missed.
There was a small picking basket resting by a patch of freshly-worn grass, so he leant down to pick it up before frowning at the sight. Narcissa must have been more concerned about entering the forest than she'd let on. He knew she had not been in there before—it was dangerous for anyone without an armed guard—but she hadn't seemed afraid when she suggested it.
Remus would have to tell her another tale about his adventures to calm her nerves. Narcissa was fascinated by anything relating to his life as a knight, insisting that anything that was important to him was important to her as well. Talking about it felt too much like bragging for his taste, but if it made her feel safe, it would be worth it.
He held out his arm for her to take. "Did I ever tell you about the time I slew a wild wolf that was trying to attack the king?"
-x-
"Do you mind if we stop for a minute?" Narcissa asked after half an hour of walking. The deeper they went into the forest, the denser the trees became, and the more her doubts threatened to overwhelm her.
"We can if you need to, but we're almost there," Remus said, although he stopped walking. "It's only another twenty yards."
She could tell from his pinched expression that he was starting to grow irritated.
She didn't blame him. From what he'd told her while planning the trip, the walk should only take fifteen minutes at a reasonable pace. Clearly, he hadn't been expecting her to dawdle. After all, it wasn't that she couldn't match his pace; it was that she didn't want to. The faster they walked, the quicker they reached their destination; and the quicker they reached their destination, the sooner she would have to—
"I need to," she said. Extracting her arm from his, she wandered to the side of the path and leant against a tree, trying to steady her breathing.
She almost jumped when she felt the warmth of his hand on her back. Usually, it would have sent a thrill of anticipation through her; they rarely allowed themselves that much physical contact. Now, however, it just made her thoughts more chaotic.
Any certainty she'd felt while waiting for Remus had fled the moment he smiled at her, his eyes dancing with joy. Nobody else had ever looked at her with that much love, and she wasn't quite sure what to do with it. She would never be able to live up to his expectations of her. Whichever path she chose, she was going to end up hurting him.
"Narcissa, do you need a physician? Should we turn back?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. She had been hoping to delay the inevitable, but it was clear now that it would only make matters worse for both of them. "I'm feeling better already. It's only that I haven't been sleeping well, and it's left me a little light-headed. My family—they've found out about us, Remus, and I don't know what to do. I didn't want to spoil our picnic. That's why I have been acting so strangely."
Remus was silent. Narcissa wished she could see his expression. Was it the one he always wore when he was thinking through a particularly difficult challenge—the one she had come to relish because it meant she'd said something that he had never considered before? But she didn't think she could bear it. Not when she knew this was a challenge he would not be able to solve.
"What we're going to do," he said after a few moments, "is forget about this for now, enjoy our lunch, and then discuss our options on the way back. I'm one of the best tacticians in the castle, and you very well could have been if you had been born a man. If anyone can work through this, it's us."
-x-
Remus put on a calm front as they continued through the forest, but inside, his thoughts were racing like a horse charging into battle. He was trying to detach himself from his emotions and approach the situation as he would a physical skirmish, but it was difficult when Narcissa was so distressed; he yearned to comfort her.
The best thing for her is for you to focus on the situation, he thought.
The issue was that while there was a solution that would achieve everything Remus wanted, there didn't seem to be one that would achieve everything Narcissa wanted. Despite her assertions that they had to wait until the war was over to wed, Remus knew that King Albus would give them permission to marry at once if they asked. They could be husband and wife by the day's end, with or without her father's blessing.
The sad truth was that that wasn't what Narcissa wanted. She had been raised to weigh up all of her options, just as he had. Remus didn't have the option of remaining neutral—the survival of his friends, family, and way of life were all dependent upon the Dumbledore dynasty—but she did. As long as there was a chance that Riddle would win, she wasn't willing to declare herself for their side.
At the end of the day, the question was which she wanted more: Remus or her neutrality.
No wonder the situation was having such a severe effect on her. He had years of experience with making tough decisions on the battlefield, sacrificing some objectives for the sake of others, but she didn't. For all of her smoke and mirrors, she'd never had to make a truly difficult decision.
Until now.
The uncertainty terrified him.
-x-
All things considered, the picnic was going well. If the food tasted a little less delicious than usual, and the conversation was a little more stilted, neither of them mentioned it. Yet Narcissa was so tired of feeling conflicted that she just wanted to be done with it. Although she was sure she would regret it the next day, in that moment, she couldn't bring herself to care.
"Did I see an orange cake in there?" Remus asked, reaching into the basket to pull out the final container. "You know me well."
Narcissa smiled, but it was fainter than usual. "Oranges and books—your favourite things in the world."
He cut two slices and offered her the one that looked the nicest, but she shook her head. "Oh, I couldn't eat another bite."
"Do you know why I love oranges so much?" he asked as he found a clean fork. "They remind me of you. You always smell like them."
His words were like a knife to the heart, but she forced herself to keep smiling. "That's sweet. I love you, Remus. You know that, don't you?"
Remus had taken the first bite of cake while she was talking, so he raised his hand to gesture that he would be a minute as he chewed.
As Narcissa watched the motion, she felt the tears prickle at the corner of her eyes. She forced them down, remembering her training, and eventually felt her emotions fade away.
"Of course," he said once he had finished eating. "I love you too, Narcissa. More than anything. Whatever it takes, we'll find a way through this."
Narcissa continued to watch dispassionately as he ate the rest of the slice. Then, once he was done, her smile fell. Was this—this utter disregard and recklessness—how Bellatrix felt all the time?
"It's not oranges, by the way," she said.
"Pardon?" Remus looked confused.
"The smell. It's not oranges, and it's not perfume. It's a fast-acting poison that includes a leaf that smells like oranges when combined with the other ingredients. I work as an apothecary for the rightful King Tom, and part of that is mixing poisons for him. I can never get the smell out afterwards; that's why I smell like oranges all the time."
Remus' confusion turned to horror as her words sunk in. He tried to leap to his feet but stumbled back down, clutching his stomach. "You work for Riddle?"
She nodded. In a way, it was a relief to be honest. Most of her marks died without ever knowing the truth. "My sisters do as well. Bellatrix specialises in assassination while Andromeda focuses on espionage. I do a mixture of the two. When King Tom identifies a person of interest, he sends me to ingratiate myself with them and find out as much I can. Once they've outlived their usefulness, I kill them and dispose of the body."
That was why, despite her fear, she had suggested sneaking into the forest for their picnic; she would be able to make it look like he had been ravaged by a boar or another wild beast.
Narcissa could see the moment Remus' heart broke written across his face. "Is that what I've done? Outlived my usefulness?"
"For King Tom, yes. I've learnt all I can from you, and losing one of the best tacticians in the land will be a fatal blow to your side." Narcissa hesitated. She knew that he wasn't asking about what the self-titled king thought; the least she could do was answer the question he was really asking. "For me… this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, Remus. I need you to know that I wasn't lying when I said I love you. If we weren't on different sides, I would have liked nothing more than to spend my life with you."
He nodded, but she knew her words were of little comfort to him. How could they be? "How long will it take?"
"Minutes."
"Will you stay?"
"Yes," she said, her voice breaking.
She might not be able to spend the rest of her life with him, but he would spend the rest of his with her.