disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I just make her characters do things

Authors note: This is my first story, so be gentle, and review!

October, first account

Bpov

"Don't be afraid" I murmured "we belong together together." I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. This moment was so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it.

His arms wrapped around me, holding me closer, tighter than he ever had before, and I loved it. His hard cool lips, pressed against my soft warm ones. This kiss was slow and sensual filled with need and desire. Suddenly I felt something hard, underwater, pressed against my inner thigh. A low moan escaped my throat. Edward was hard! For me! This had never happened before or Edward had never let get close enough to feel It. After that my poor unused hormones officially hijacked my body.

As Edward pulled us deeper into the dark water, kissing along my jawline, I wrapped my legs around his waist settling my center against his rock hard member. Edward let out a shaky gasp, and my whole body seemed to ignite, the pressure that was building in my lower regions reached an all new level.

"Lets go inside" whispered Edward, his normally velvet voice rough with want. As his hands caressed my extremely tender breasts.

All I could do was nod for the power of speech had deserted me long ago. I could barely think coherently when he held, so when he touched me now in ways I had only ever Dreamed about my whole body reacted wildly.

I wasn't sure how I got there, but I was on a beautiful white bed, aching for release, with a very nervous Edward on top of me. The familiar crease between his eyebrows had returned, and I could tell he was having his usual internal battle/panic attack.

"Bella.........If I hurt you in any way, please tell me." He begged , his voice wavering.

Epov

My body seemed to tingle with electricity as I pushed my throbbing member into Bella's, hot wet core. I cringed as, Bella let out a small yelp of pain when her barrier was broken. Slowly, I pulled out and thrust back into her repeatedly , my breathing coming short in gasps. It just felt so wonderful, my whole body shuddered in pleasure, causing me to moan loudly. I grasped the sheets as the fire in my lower belly and, the throbbing of my member intensified. I called out with each thrust, pushing myself deeper and deeper. What did I do to deserve this kind of nirvana, I didn't know. Small growls were coming from my chest as I pushed in and out. I had never felt any of this before . Finally it was all to much and I came, crying out as I thrust, faster into Bella, shuddering and shaking as i spilled my icy release into her. When I looked down at Bella she looked............Disappointed.

Bpov

After the initial pain wore off it was okay. Okay being the operative word . He slowly thrust into me, moaning my name over and over. Don't get me wrong it was enjoyable knowing I had such an effect on him, but the experience was definitely lacking. My whole body seemed to ache for more contact. This was one of those times I wish he could read my mind, I was to embarrassed to ask him to rub my clit. I knew he was virgin, but a guess I just thought that since he was a vampire he was naturally good at everything.

Edward came loudly after a couple of minutes,finishing just when I was starting to feel anything. leaving me even more sexually frustrated than when we had started. I couldn't believe that this was the the experience I had begged for.

When Edward looked down at me, I desperately tried to push the bitterness out of my head, and pretend I had enjoyed it as much as he had, But of course he saw right through me.

"Oh God.......I'm so sorry Bella! You didn't enjoy this at all. I was so selfish. I've completely ruined your first time , I've neglected you needs and indulged my own. How can you ever forgive me?" Whispered Edward with his head in his hands

" There nothing to forgive Edward" I whispered, sounding sad to my own ears

" Bella, I've been an arrogant asshole. The idea of me being ........ Substandard never even occurred to me" choked Edward. The angry unfulfilled part of my head silently agreed with him.

Before I could reply, Edward's phone buzzed with a text. He flipped open his phone. An angry growl erupted from his still naked chest. " whats the matter?" I whispered trying to soothe him. He answered me in one angry word. "Emmet." Alice had told Emmet about the .........ordeal, and I could only imagine what he had said to Edward.

Epov

It was worse when Bella had gone to sleep. I was all alone with my slightly morbid thoughts. What if Bella left me? Pain shot through me, leaving me breathless just thinking about it. I had basically tricked Bella into marrying me. I had agreed to make love to her, but only if she would marry me. What kind of person does that ? But really I am not a person, I am a monster. I looked down at Bella, her skin radiant in the moon light, she really was exquisite. An angel. Not only had stolen an angel's virtue, iI had done it badly too.

note: okay so that was it! review please! I'll update sometime this weekend!