Now that this whole fiasco is finished to a point- Elizabeth and I both are set for death- I realize now that perhaps I was at fault. Not completely, of course. That blame rests directly on Abigail Williams- who, now, I shudder to think of. But anyway, I was not a godly man completely even before all this happened- and I have no shame in admitting that, now.

I was not kidding when I cried to the court that 'God is dead.' Here in Salem, cruelty reigns- and day after day, I see the evidences of it. People have been hanged already, and more are set to every day, including me. Lies and terror are what rule, and we all have fallen captive to that- including me.

But I am not a bad man. I know that. I am not a bad man- I have made mistakes in my life, far too many than I can count, now, but regardless I still have good left in my heart. I was lost, but I still love- I love Elizabeth, and I love myself, and I love God. God sees my mistakes beyond the mask of lies that has been placed on me- and it is for that reason that I sit here, alone in a dark cell. I am a good man, and lies to not rule me.

Lechery and disobedience and my own lies are what grace my plate of sins- and I will not deny any of them, not in front of myself, or Elizabeth, or the Lord. No- I admit them here and now, for my mistakes are my own and there is no hiding them. But I still rest my case that I am a good man- and inside of me there rests something more, something hidden that I have never let out. I can love. I smile when I see the sun, and I pray and I laugh. I am not a bad man- just the opposite. My moral standards, perhaps, do not live up to the code of the town of Salem and the church- but in my own way, I live a life of holiness. I go my own way, my own path, and follow my own heart through God- even if that means I do not follow the course prescribed directly by the Church.

Regardless, I am not a bad man. I wish the world would believe that. Sometimes, I think that simple fact is all that keeps me sane here.

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