I would have uploaded this to my blog on tumblr first, but my internet connection has decided to be difficult.
This is AU 'Tony is Darcy's dad' fic, because it is a glorious, glorious headcanon. Imagine meeting the Avengers. Everyone except Thor would be all, "There's two of them. Why are there two of them?" While Thor would clap them both on the shoulder, "Friend Tony, you did not tell me that Darcy was the fruit of your loins! Truly the family Stark is an honorable and mighty one!" Yeah. Ignore now the randomness and standard way off prompt nature of my writing, kay thanks.
"Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day."
Darcy doesn't understand why it's called a 'wake'. Her grandpa isn't about to open his eyes, sit up and start talking. Her grandparents' house is crammed full of relatives and friends. They're all chatting, offering condolences and handing out tray bakes and finger sandwiches as if they're supposed to make anyone feel better. And they're all very anxious that she should feel better, "He wouldn't want you to be sad dear," and "It happens to everyone eventually".
Darcy swears that the next person who tells her that grandpa has gone to sleep and tries to force an egg mayonnaise sandwich down her throat is going to get a fat lip. She is sixteen. They can say the word 'dead'. She's never liked people babying her. It's practically insulting the way everyone assumes she either can't deal with her emotions or that they aren't as complex as their own.
Grandpa would have understood.
Out of the corner of her eye, Darcy sees her mom fighting her way through the crowd in the dining room. Upon reaching her, she pats Darcy's arm sympathetically, "I know this is a bit grim pet. I won't hold it against you if you vanish for a few hours. Grandpa would probably to tell you to go and enjoy the day."
"We're on a farm in the middle of nowhere. And I thought I was grounded." Darcy reminds her, choosing to ignore the grandpa comment (too soon mom).
"Darcy," her mother manages her first smile in days, "why do you have your phone on every time except when someone is trying to contact you? Your dad pulled up five minutes ago. He's waiting at the end of the road."
Darcy's eyes go round. Thank you, thank you, thank you. If there's one person who won't make her want to stab them in the eye, it's her father. "Go on. He'll cheer you up."
Getting out of the house is a little like forcing her way through enemy lines in a war, especially when her great aunt Mabel grabs her arm in an attempt to share another story about when she and grandpa were young. Her grandpa had told her all of them already, and unlike Aunt Mabel he never bothered to censor the more interesting details.
After a herculean effort, Darcy manages to slip out of the front door. The day is unseasonably hot (storm's coming, won't that brighten up the funeral) and the track leading away from the house is dusty, so her black clothes are dirtied almost immediately. About three minutes away from the house, parked beside the field where the cows are grazing is a black Lexus. Sure, that doesn't look odd or out of place at all. Smooth, dad, smooth. Her father is leaning on the hood, wearing a KISS t-shirt, jeans, shades and sneakers. Since her clothes are already a lost cause, Darcy runs the rest of the way literally leaving the house behind her in the dust.
In case you haven't put the pieces together yet, Darcy's parents aren't 'together'. In fact the only time they were together in any sense of the word was when she was conceived. Darcy is the (rather awesome in her opinion) product of one too many drinks and poor life choices. Or as her dad told her once when he was particularly drunk (balancing on the point between being unable to walk and unconscious) "Kid, you're the best crappy decision I ever made. Probably the best decision, period. Hey, Darce, should I build I robot specifically designed to clean up vomit? It seems like a good idea. I think it's a good idea."
Then he passed out. But it was a nice sentiment.
"What's up Buttercup?" Pulling himself upright, Tony Stark opens his arms and Darcy practically flies into them. "Hey dad," she says, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne and faint smell of oil that he can never quite shake. She hasn't seen him since her last visit to Malibu. All the irritation and tension that has built up inside her over the past few days starts to ebb away. Looking at the car Darcy raises an eyebrow, "There is no way you drove all the way here."
"I hopped on the jet to Philly, took the car the rest of the way," he explains. "Now get in. We're officially on 'father-daughter comfort/bonding time'." Slipping out of his arms, Darcy climbs into the passenger side. Leather interior, nice. Let it not be said that Anthony Edward Stark makes impromptu appearances in anything but style.
Tony slides into the driver's seat. He clears his throat awkwardly and places a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm obligated by higher powers (aka your mother and Pepper) to ask how you're holding up."
Darcy bites her lip. She doesn't really know. Of course she's sad, but she hasn't really had the time to pick the emotion apart and make sense of it. Once mom got the phone call they went straight up to see grandma, then the relatives had shown up and Darcy was busy making food, giving directions over the phone and making the half hour walk into the nearest town to get groceries. Not exactly optimal thinking/grieving conditions.
"I was a mess when mom told me," she admits, "but I haven't had time to properly process everything since then. Everyone keeps asking me to talk but I can't because I haven't worked out what I'm feeling yet."
Her dad nods, "Fair enough, kiddo. I saw a diner on the way where we most likely won't get food poisoning. You in?"
"Most likely?"
"What life without a little adventure?"
Darcy sighs, "Sure, anything to get away from the great aunt brigade. I want a burger. The most unhealthy, going –to-give-me-a-heart-attack-when-I'm-forty on the menu."
"Potentially fatal comfort food, here we come."
They chat all the way. Darcy questions him on a news article she saw last week about an incident involving him, a party in LA, a socialite and leopard.
"That," Tony tells her, "was blown way out of proportion. I cannot be held responsible for who chooses to pass out on top of me and the wild animals they cart around because it matches their outfit. Or what said animal chooses to do to a state senator."
Laughter bubbles up in Darcy throat, "Is that the actual reason she gave for bringing a leopard to a party?"
Her father grimaces, "Yes. I was definitely sober enough at that point to remember her saying it. That darling daughter of mine is why I am cooler than everyone. If I was going to bring a leopard anywhere I would do it because I felt like it. No shitty 'Oh we totally match' excuse needed." She is laughing almost hysterically now and he's looking at her as if she's a got more than a few screws loose. It's a release of all the tension the she's built up over the past few days.
"This is good," Tony mumbles to himself, "I distinctly remember Pepper saying something about laughter being the best medicine. I personally favor alcohol, but if I get you drunk your mom will kill me, then Pep will bring me back to life and do it all over again."
These words out of another person's mouth would be a joke, but he probably would get her drunk if he thought it would help. That's the thing about Tony Stark; he lacks some of the instincts that other fathers seem to have hardwired into their brains. Darcy remembers toddling around his work shop when she was tiny and JARVIS having to 'Darcy proof' it on the fly because it didn't occur to her genius father that she could lose an arm. Then there was that time when she was thirteen and stumbled across some of his porn stash. Most parents would be horrified. To be fair Tony was, but only because he'd forgotten he had those videos and demanded to know why they hadn't been transferred to a DVD or a computer file. He's never come to any of her extra-curricular events, but that was less because he doesn't want to and more because Tony Stark turning up at her debating competition would cause a small riot. Darcy forgives him this particular sin because Pepper usually turns up with a camera and JARVIS showed her the file where dad keeps all the videos and photographs of her. There isn't a single visit or day spent together that doesn't have a picture or saved CCTV footage to prove it happened.
They don't see each other as often as Darcy would like, not by a long shot. She knows he's busy running Stark Industries and inventing things for Stark Industries and stirring up publicity for the things he invents for Stark Industries...and so it goes on. Now that she's older, Darcy is more understanding of the situation. However, that doesn't mean she likes it.
She'll say this for her dad though. For as long as Darcy can remember the last weekend of every month has been spent with him. On the Thursday night she hops on a plane to California. Friday, Saturday and Sunday are spent with Tony, who has donated money to every school she's ever attended so they don't kick up a fuss about her missing days. Starks, too cool for school. The exception is summer vacation when she stays for an entire month. It doesn't matter what comes up or where in the world her dad has to be, or what he has to do, if it clashes with one of Darcy's visits it's either cancelled or she comes with him. The issue isn't even up for discussion, no matter what Obadiah Stane says. Hell, when she was ten he dragged her to a board meeting with him and instead of actually paying any attention played Pokémon with her for two hours.
And then there are times like now, when he shows up out of the blue when she happens to need him most. So yeah. He's not the most orthodox dad on the planet, but he's Darcy's and she's keeping him.
The Lexus attracts a bit of attention when they pull into the diner, but once her dad hands a wad of cash to the owner the interested glances evaporate. They order almost the entire menu including burgers that only she and her dad would find appetizing or ever consider eating. A dietician is weeping somewhere.
"So," Tony starts, "aside from the obvious crapiness, how's life?"
"What life? I was grounded for the past two weeks."
"Why?" Tony sounds genuinely confused, but that's mostly because the concept of punishing children for anything less than a major crime has always eluded him.
"I may have gotten my belly button pierced without permission." Dad does chew her out a bit for that. Apparently if she'd waited until she came to California he'd have arranged it for her and found somewhere much more sanitary than whatever backwoods piercing parlor she went to. My dad, ladies and gentlemen. Helping me break rules more effectively.
"This is why mom sometimes wants beat you to death." Tony's response is to flash his patented 'Who me? What did this innocent, well-meaning billionaire do to offend you?" smirk.
Ignoring it, Darcy tells him, "My guidance counselor says I'll be able to graduate a year early."
Tony's smile turns cautious, "That's great Darce. Does starting college early come with that? You know, as a package deal?"
Warning: potential sore spot ahead! Darcy's brain shouts. "Maybe. It depends on me figuring out what I want to do."
"You'd enjoy it more if you were with people your own age." Tony might not be the model of fatherhood, but he can do the tone of parental disapproval when the situation calls for it. He even spices it up by giving her the 'I don't really know how to act like an adult, but so help me I'll try' stare over the rims over his sunglasses.
Darcy rolls her eyes, but doesn't point out that she'd only a year younger than everyone else, instead opting to steal some of his french fries.
"Hey, you have your own! Robbery! Thief! This girl. Over here, good sir."
A few people stare at the crazy shouting man who is wearing shades indoors, but no one gets up. Darcy smirks, "Too bad, so sad," and takes some more on principle.
The weather has turned for the worse by the time they leave and huge, hot rain starts dropping from mean looking clouds. Heading back, Darcy feels much more relaxed than before. Dad has a way of calming people down while simultaneously driving them so far up the wall they want to drop him off a bridge.
Darcy's pent up emotions take this state of calm as an opportunity to assert themselves. Suddenly all she can think about is that she and her grandpa used to take walks in the fields that are flashing past her window. At first Darcy doesn't even realize that she's crying. It's the wetness that reaches her neck that tips her off. Once Tony notices he pulls the car over.
Checking his watch, her dad shakes his head, "It took three hours for the waterworks to turn on Darcy. That's some impressive repression, even by my standards." With ease he takes off her seat belt and manoeuvres her closer so that she can rest her head on his shoulder.
"I think I've figured out that I'm upset."
"All available evidence supports that theory," he concludes. "I'm no good at the touchy feely stuff, you know that Darce."
Darcy sniffs, "You're alright. You were always good when I had nightmares." When she was younger and she had bad dreams when she was with him, her dad would always fashion a makeshift fort for her in his workshop out of blankets, cushions and pillows so that she could stay with him while he worked into the night. Sometimes she'd even stay awake long enough to see him crawl in beside her, smeared with grease, aching and half dead on his feet. There were never any nightmares when he was with her.
Tony glances around the interior of the car, "Yeah. We don't have room for that there. Uh… just let it out? There, there."
Poor dad. Emotions frighten him. It would be funnier if it wasn't true. Now that she's older, Darcy thinks that's why he drinks so much and gets into so many insane jams – because he'd sometimes rather be numb and not feel anything at all.
The irony of it is that he's always been good at making her feel better, even when he couldn't pick himself up. By the time Tony drops her off at the house, dry eyed and smiling tiredly Darcy is in a good enough mood to offer to climb up to the attic and pull out some of her grandparents' old photo albums. She can make it through the funeral the next day because her dad promised to call her afterwards and tell her about the time Pepper caught him trying to drop a bucket of cheap beer on Prince Charles of England's head.
One belief has stuck with Darcy since childhood and will stay with her, even through the impossible, terrible times that sixteen year old Darcy can't imagine. When she spends years trying to figure out what to do with her life and ends up switching majors three times, when her dad calls her and tells her that he's not dead and that he's coming home, when she first sees a hero made of red and gold metal, when things from myths she barely knows show up and try to kill her, when her dad carries a missile through a portal and when he doesn't let her go for a full five minutes once she arrives in New York with Jane Foster; Darcy is reminded of one simple truth.
Whatever his faults, whatever he does wrong, when Darcy's world turns dark and stormy Tony Stark can make the sun shine again, even if it's only for a little while.
This was not fun to write. I came up with the 'Rain, rain go away' when I first saw the prompt and trying to find a plot for it was a pain.
Ever since realizing that Robert Downey jr played Kat Denning's father in 'Charlie Bennet' I've loved reading AUs were Darcy is Tony's dad and have half a ton of headcanons about that particular scenario. The problem was trying to write something without all of those head canons worming their way in. As fun as they are, they're not relevant here.
Also writing dad!Tony is hard, especially when doing it from someone elses POV. Tony probably spends the entire time he's with Darcy his time freaking out about how inadequate he is etc etc.
He's not presented as a perfect dad because he's not. The lifestyle of pre-Iron man Tony Stark isn't conductive to raising a child and he's got issues coming out of his ears. In this fic Darcy tolerates it because despite it all he is a good father in his own way, and she doesn't mind the craziness as much as someone else would because she's very good at accepting/dealing with strange circumstances. As they are in the films, Tony and Darcy do have similar personality traits (that's probably why they're friends so often in fanfiction). That's why here dad!Tony is so good at relating to daughter!Darcy, they operate on the same wavelength. When Tony cares about someone/something, he goes the whole way and does nothing halfheartedly, which is why I think Darcy would grow up with the belief that her dad could fix/make everything better - he's Tony Stark/Iron Man, so he usually can.