Amanda: Good evening, I'm Amanda. You may know me as Your-Everyday-Wannabe. Tonight, we're gonna discuss another tragedy that's sweeping our nation. The truth is...no one knows what to do...When Clowns Attack.
(The "When Clowns Attack" logo appears on the TV screen)
Amanda: Now, I'm sure we've all been to amusement parks or carnivals, but these clowns...are not like those good, happy clowns we once knew... What you're about to actually witness is some of these actual events, just as they actually happened...
(The TV screen starts to play a videotape showing a group of teenagers jumping rope)
Amanda: As you can see, this group of teenagers are having a beautiful day in the park, jumping rope. Now they're about to be greeted by some not-so-greatly clowns. Watch.
(The jump rope teens encounter the evil clowns, start panicking as the clowns walk towards them, and try to run)
(The clowns attack the jump rope teens as they yell and scream)
(The tape stops)
Amanda: Very poor kids. Now you'll see the attack again in slow motion.
(The tape rewinds and plays again in slow motion)
Amanda: As you can see, the teenagers try to escape from the tradegy, but unfortunately by then...it was too late...
(The tape shows the desecrated, brusied up teens)
Red Shirt Teen: So we were just having a fun day in park.
Blue Shirt Teen: And then the clowns...
Yellow Shirt Teen: They attacked us!
Light Green Shirt Female Teen: We-we tried to run away...
Red Shirt Teen: But-but by then...
Pink Shirt Female Teen: It was too late...
(The tape ends)
Amanda: Tortured teenage souls... If you thought that was painful to watch, now you're about to see a really famous band have their very first concert-crash.
(The TV screen starts to play another videotape with One Direction having a live concert)
Amanda: Most people are aware of the famous band called "One Direction", who are just having another one of their normal concerts in front of thousands of their fans. But this all ended when the clowns snuck on stage, and surprised the playing band...
(One Direction was singing "What Makes You Beautiful", but stopped and turned to the side of the stage when they noticed their fans were suddenly screaming to death)
(The clowns ran after them on stage, and started attacking them and breaking their instruments)
(They tried to call the security guards for help, but they were also being attacked in the rampage)
(The tape stops)
Amanda: It's so sad for fans to have to witness their favorite band get mauled by clowns during a live concert. Now let's see the attack again in slow motion.
(The tape rewinds and plays again in slow motion)
Amanda: One Direction was just trying to make their fans happy with their beautiful music. Their fans tried to alert them of the clown sighting, but the music was too loud for the warning. It then got to a point where the whole audience was screaming, and they finally heard. They turned to the side of the stage to see what was going on, and that's when they realized they were being rampaged. We see guitar player, Niall Horan trying to smash his guitar over the clown's head, but it dodged the incoming strike and broke the guitar. They tried to call for help, but it was too late...
(The tape shows One Direction beat-up with messy hair and bandages covering their faces)
Louis William: So, we were just trying to have a concert for our lovely fans.
Liam James: But then we turned and saw we were being attacked by clowns!
Zayn Jaward: The least thing we expected to happen in one of our concerts.
Louis William: They attacked us and broke are instruments!
Niall Horan: I tr-tried to defend our band with my...gu-guitar...but the clown dodged it and broke it.
Harry Styles: They ruined our concert...
(One Direction starts singing "What Makes You Beautiful" sadly and off-key)
(The tape ends)
Amanda: That poor, poor band. If you witness an attack by the clowns, please call our emergency hotline: 1-500-I-JUST-SAW-SOME-CLOWNS-ATTACK-SOME-PERSON-SO-NOW-I'M-CALLING-TO-REPORT-WHAT-I-SAW. Please tune in next week, when we will be discuss...
(The clowns enter the room, and Amanda screams and runs out)
(The clowns start dancing and juggling to One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" still on set)