A/N: Just a one-shot idea, about all the things Jess wishes he could've said to Leslie before she died. For those of you reading Chance, I'm sorry I've kept you waiting longer than usual. These upcoming chapters are big, and I'm having an abnormal amount of writer's block. I've been really busy with school too. So here's something to read while I keep you waiting. :) I've also got Little Manhattan 2 going, if you wanna check that out. :) R&R!!

IF ONLY

Many people have a list of things they want to do before they die. Me, I wish I had the chance to say things I never had the chance to say while she was alive. I'll have to wait until I die to see my best friend, to tell her everything she should've heard. If only…

If only I hadn't gone to the museum with Miss Edmunds, she might be here.

If only I had invited her to go with us.

If only I had realized that Miss Edmunds wasn't the one I had a crush on, she might be here to tell.

If only I had stopped her in the rain. Why couldn't I see it then?!

I did see it. If only I had the brains to realize it, or the guts to tell her.

If only I could relive the time I gave her Prince Terrian. I would hug her back. If only she was alive to hug.

If only I had realized how much I wanted to live out Maybelle's "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" song when I was fifteen or sixteen…or maybe eleven or twelve…

If only I had been there the day she fell. I might have saved her, I might have not, but either way, we would be together, best friends forever, alive or dead, to roam Terabithia together, forever.

If only she had never been here to loose. I would be miserable and lonely, but I'm that way now.

If only six months could become six years, or sixty years, or six hundred.

If only she were here to help me through this.

If only I hadn't lost my best friend.

If only you could hear me…or maybe you can…

Can you hear me?

If only I knew.

If only I could keep my mind wide open without you.

I can try.

Can you hear me?

Yes you can. I know you can.

It's Jess, God. You remember me, don't you? You have my best friend, you know.

Why did you kill her God?!?!

If only I knew…

I know you can't bring her back, or let her talk to me, but could you pass along this message, so hopefully she can see.

See what I've seen, since you made my angel leave me.

Please tell her to do what she always told me to do.

Tell her to keep her mind wide open, so she can try not to hate me.

Here it is:

You are my everything, if only I could have told you.

You brought me light I had never known. If only you knew.

You are my best friend, my angel, my salvation.

I miss you more than you'll ever see, the pain is killing me.

I hope you'll forgive me for what I did, forgive me for being stupid, so stupid that I was blind to see, just how much you meant to me.

I miss you.

I love you.

Leslie, I need you.

Very drably, I know. I didn't mean to make it rhyme at some parts, even if it did. It's not a poem. Please tell me what you thought, even if it's horrible. (Which I'm sure it is.) But hey, I was bored. :)