The following story is rated: B (for BAD!)
WARNING! Before reading this story, you must realize that the following will possibly be one of the worst stories you've ever read. It contains things that make no sense, and characters acting out of the ordinary. There is even an argument with the narrator. So heed my words, READ AT OWN RISK! Beckieboo2 is not responsible for what happens to the readers of this story.
(My thoughts are between parenthesis.)
Beware…Be warned…
Thank you for flying American Airlines, please keep your seatbelt on at all times… Today's feature film is "Parvati's Day", so sit back relax and enjoy the show. Please close all window shades. Headphones cost $35.00. ($35.00!?) Thank you for your time and enjoy the flight.
*lights dim*
*classical music plays*
********
"Please?" Draco Malfoy said gazing into the dark brown eyes of Hermione Granger.
"No!" Hermione exclaimed. Draco has asked her countless times for her to be his girlfriend, and she was getting rather impatient. (Draco begging? That's a first.) "If I haven't told you once, I've told you one-hundred fifty-three times, NO!"
"PLEASE HERMIONE, PLEASE!" he pleaded, his face now touching the carpet of the Great Hall. He sounded as if he were about to cry.
Hermione was glad no one was around because if there were, he would have been causing a great amount of unwanted attention toward them. Her eyes became pleading as well. "Malfoy, no! I'm sorry I don't like you, go away!"
"No. I shall not leave this spot until you say yes," he literally cried, with great determination in his squeaky voice.
Just then, Hermione felt something tickle her leg. The feeling caused her to jump out of her chair and accidentally kick Draco Malfoy's head off! After watching his head soar through the air and out through the window, which automatically repaired itself, she looked down to find out what it was that touched her. It turned out to be a thread from her robe.
She stood, thinking about what she was going to do. She ran to the headless body of Draco. What am I going to do, is what she was thinking, when Professor Snape walked in scowling.
"What are you doing Granger?" he asked, eyeing her and the body in her hands.
She hesitated. Knowing she was about to be expelled, she looked up into Snape's black eyes and said very quickly, "Well, Draco kept bothering me, trying to get me to be his girlfriend, then I felt something on my leg which turned out to be thread from my robe, which caused me to accidentally kick his head off, so now I need to hide the body before anybody finds out." She gasped for breath. She stood eyes shut, expecting Snape to holler his head off, but that didn't happen.
Snape's frown turned into a twisted smile, as if it is something he hasn't done in years. He said happily, "Oh, carry on then, just don't be late for class." Then he skipped away.
Hermione stood shocked from her stroke of luck. She decided to take advantage of the situation, and continued to drag Draco's limp body. She shoved him under the nearest table. "That'll do for now." She rubbed her chin. "Now to find the head." Then she flew out the Great Hall.
After searching every corridor, classroom, and getting suspicious looks from other students, Hermione stopped. She searched everywhere except- She approached a sign that said WIZARDS. Hermione looked around checking to see if anyone was around. Then she casually slipped through the door of the boys' bathroom.
She looked through each stall- nothing. Suddenly, she heard a muffled cry. Hermione ran toward the noise, and opened the door. "Draco!" Hermione yelled with joy.
"Help!" Draco cried. His head was bobbing up and down in the water of the toilet bowl.
(Wait, if his head flew out of the window, then how did it end up in the toilet?)
By now Hermione had picked up his head. Draco said, "Well, it all started when, of course, Hermione kicked my head off and it flew out the window. I went flying towards the Quidditch pitch where the Ravenclaws were practicing. I guess one of the Beaters thought I was a Bludger and hit me all the way in to the lake. Knowing I was about to die, that giant squid grabbed me just in time, and threw me through another window, and I fell in this toilet. And it's been about twenty minutes when Hermione came to save the day."
(Okay, now that that is settled, let me ask you this, how are you talking?)
"Well, you're the narrator of this story, you tell us," said Draco.
(Well, I say it's because you're a freak.)
"Stupid prat."
(What?)
"Uh, Cupid's fat."
(Good one. You really expect me to believe that? I have ears you know.)
"Can we just get on with the story!" Hermione said impatiently.
(No, I'm the narrator, and we don't start until I say so! *breathes heavily* Oh, I'm sorry, Draco, Hermione, yes we can get on with the story.)
Will Hermione put Draco's head back on his body? Will they lower the prices of headphones? Is Cupid really fat? Find out next time on- wait... What? Oh, excuse me the producer has just informed me that the show has been cancelled. Good bye and have a nice day.
*screen goes blank*
The End. (What a rip off!)