Never Looked Back
It was too hot and I could not concentrate on the work which my father had given me to do…Alright, I confess that it was just an excuse. An excuse to which I desperately clung; an excuse in which I found hope. Of course I understood that I could not wait much longer and that eventually the work would have to been done. But I just could not make myself to get it over with for I feared that the future will be a torment.
I sat in the deserted hall of the manor watching the thin rays of the setting sun spill through the partly shut chenille curtains. My fingers found peace in the cool metal of the silver dagger I held in hand. I brought it to my eyes and saw my pale reflection in the fine metal. For a moment I studied the thin drop of sweat running down my temple to the smooth curve of my lips, then my ash-grey eyes, taking in their pure beauty. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, it definitely was too hot. I loosened the dark green tie around my neck and unbuttoned the top three buttons with my thin, pale fingers-the ring of my left hand shining in the patch of light. This however, did not diminish the heat and I began to wonder whether it was my mind that was playing such gruesome tricks on me.
The sweat continued to trickle down my face and neck as if compelling me to go on with my task. I suddenly felt an impulsive outburst of rage within me. Rage for my father, rage for my life and rage for that one and only who was always on my mind. If it was not for him I would never be in such piteous state, never come to this humiliation. I glanced at the dagger innocently lying on the Persian carpet. I hated it, hated it for what it was destined to do, whose blood it was destined to spill. I grabbed the dagger and squeezed it in my hand with such fury as if it was the one to blame for my misfortunes. I gazed on my blood-stained palm and the crimson liquid on the blade and I would have sworn that I saw a reflection of a chocolate-brown eye, his eye in the calm silver.
I tried to arrange my thoughts and clear the mind but the devastating heat was getting the best of me. Rays of light, which shone through the fabric of the curtain seemingly moments ago, had disappeared into the darkness of the night. How could I not have noticed? I let myself cowardly hide from the task, frantically trying to prolong the moment, getting lost in the memories. However there was no time left to waste, it was far too precious. I couldn't look back.
I stood beneath the branches of the massive willow beside the lake, its curtain-like canopy safely shielding me from unwanted eyes. Suddenly I heard light footsteps and saw him emerge in the distance. I closed my eyes and forced my tensed body to relax, my face showing nothing of the formal fear.
"You are late, Blaise." I stated, glaring at him with cold eyes.
"You are early." he replied gazing at me from beneath his black eyelashes. As I was looking at him, devouring the moon light reflecting off his dark skin, all of the memories of my past lingered before my eyes. But I could not allow myself to sink into the past; he was a traitor and had to pay.
"So did you miss me, Draco? I confess, I never would have thought I would ever get an owl from you." said Blaise with a taunting smile. I did not reply but continued to gaze into the depths of his eyes. No, I couldn't do it, couldn't kill me best friend even though my father ordered me to. I did not care about the consequences, about the fact that I will have to die. I simply couldn't make myself pierce his heart with that bloody dagger. I heard my father's voice in my head,
"Do not be a coward, defend the family name! He has to pay for his betrayal of faiths, for shaming the purity of our blood." Did Blaise hesitate before committing the ugly sin? I did not think so. So why should I?
"Why did you do it, Blaise? Why? I trusted you; I loved you for heaven's sake!" I said my voice full of hate, watching the smile upon his face slowly diminish.
"Never mind, don't say anything. It'll just make everything more complicated. I hate you Blaise for doing this to me." Blaise stood in the moon light, the features of his face more pronounced and harsh in the dim glow, and I watched as a series of emotions fought to gain hold of his expression. A number of times his mouth opened and I waited for the right words to leave his lips, words which will save him…save me. But they never came and his mouthed closed with a resounding silence.
"I know why you are here, Drake. You can't hide it from me." Blaise finally announced and I was surprised to see the flicker of amazement in his eyes. A poisonous smirk scarred his lips and before I could notice his arms wrapped around me struggling with my cloak. As he briskly drew back I saw the glistening of silver in his hand, the dagger reflected the chocolate-brown of his eyes for the last time. With a deafening swoosh the blade cut through the night air encasing itself in his chest. The fabric of his white shirt clung to the fresh wound, soaking in blood. For a moment he stood motionless but as the last of his senses deemed he lost his footing and collapsed on the hard ground.
The blade protruded from right above his heart, playfully glinting in the light of the moon, teasing me. It completed its task but I did not. I reached forward, my hand trembling, and taking hold of the handle ripped the dagger out. It freed itself easily, as if contemplating that there was nothing I could do. For a second my ash-grey eyes caught hold of the chocolate-brown, and then I rose making my way towards the manor…never looking back.
I shamed my blood, I was a disgrace to the family and I deserved to die. I was scolded…my father's wrath unleashed in me all the emotions that were locked deep in my heart. I could not however, grip the truth; my mind and heart desperately tried to relieve me of the torture. So I just sat, my fingers finding peace in the coolness of the blade, and gazed into nothingness. Draco Malfoy cried.
It is ironic how life works and I was yet another man not being able to grasp its meaning. I lay on my back-the ceiling above illuminated with the many candles-and could hardly feel the stinging pain in my chest. The silver dagger yet again glinted gleefully in the light, teasing me…teasing me for being such a coward. The light slowly left my ash-grey eyes and I never looked back.