A/N hey readers, this is my first FanFic and I hope you all like it. Read and review. Nice only and constructive too. May be a long time before I update.

What have I just done?

My head was spinning. The only thing that was now etched in my brain was the sweet smell of Bella Swan's blood. Edward will kill me. Here and now I only wanted to die. Impossible for a vampire I know, but Edward would rip me to shreds. I couldn't blame him; it was his girlfriend I just tried to kill. But she was human, Eddie shouldn't have gone and stalked her in school and watch her sleep at night. I'd always thought he was an idiot at times. It was wrong, she wasn't one of us, the dangers were clear from the beginning. How Eddie bares it is something I cannot grasp.

Emmett had me in his pure iron grip getting me away from Bella. Once he let go of me I leapt over the river and ran as fast as I could.

As I ran I could still hear them taking about me in the house. Bella urged Edward to go find me. I ran faster knowing Edward would catch up and tear me to pieces. All I wanted to do was go and apologise to Bella and my family. I could sense Alice running behind me. She was worried and I slowed and sent a wave of calmness in her direction.

"It's okay Jazz. Carlisle's fixing Bella up as we speak"

"I know Ali, will you hunt with me?"

"I will, I just have to go get Bella something to wear. Her t-shirt has blood on it"

She flitted off through the forest on her way back the Cullen house. I sat under a nearby tree to wait for her. I wanted to know what damage I had done. How Bella and Edward were. I stuck my hand down my pocket, only to find my phone. I typed a quick message to Edward: We need to talk. My phone beeped instantly. Edward: I know. Late tonight in the clearing. 'Round 3.00am. I pray he won't rip my head off.

"Alice"

" She's okay Jazz. All stitched up and ready to rumble. Don't worry, we all understand that it's hard for you"

Yeah, me, the freak who can't control his thirst. As always they soothed me and told me I would overcome it some day. I'm still waiting for that special day. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and gave Ali a quick kiss.

"Come on, I need to hunt. Badly"

"Sure"

I smelled a mountain lion walking around the clearing. Could be Edward since he hunts like one. Alice snuck up on me. She is so beautiful I thought to myself. I took down the mountain lion with one swipe.

"I love you Jazzy, no matter what. What you did tonight was inexcusable but I love you too much to forgive you."

"Thank you Alice. I love you so much. More than my own life. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. You may have scared me by coming up and touching me. Telling me about this family, this family that saved us both from a possible disgusting, brutal way of this life, the Cullen's, they helped us to a better way of living, and then I go and do this. I went for Bella, I wanted her blood so badly since the moment she came to Forks. I'm so sorry Ali, all I want is not to be a horrible monster that wants to take a snap at his brother's girlfriend every time she comes over to visit us…" My voice broke, I was reduced to sobbing, vampire life didn't allow us to cry, monsters.

Monstrous. The perfect way to describe my behaviour tonight. Alice pulled my into her arms. Home. I could have waited lying on the forest floor all night talking with her. Talking about everything that could come to mind. 3.00am came. Time to see Edward.

A/N okay it's short but the next one will be long I promise! Lala.x