Disclaimer: I don't own the character from Ouran Host Club...TT
A/N: This story just popped into my head and wouldn't go away. So I had no choice but to write it down. I'm not much of a writer so I apologies in advance that this piece might lack coherency. I took Kaoru's POV on this one don't really know why, I guess I just felt it sounded best this way. Anyway, I'm kind of proud that I actually finished a piece. Usually I'll start something and give up half way through.
I have always feared the day when Hikaru would realise that he needed to take that step forward, because then I would be forced to question, what am I going to do now.
3 years after graduating from university, Hikaru asked me one night in bed whether he should marry her. I gave the rational answer, I said yes.
---
6 months after the announcement of their engagement, we continued to sleep together. During these nights he talked like nothing will ever change, like we would always be like this forever. A comforting lie, but a lie just the same.
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Tomorrow was their wedding day. This will be the last time I get to fall asleep with him hugging me. Tomorrow the change will come, tomorrow it will be different. The wedding ended with the daylight. That night was my first real trial, to sleep alone in our bed, my bed. I was failing miserably. The emptiness was too much to bear, never have I slept without him.
I heard the clock chime twice then the door opened, Hikaru stood there. I stared at him. He wordlessly walked towards me, I pretended to shift to my side of the bed, but we both knew that I wasn't lying on his side to begin with. He slid under the blankets, turned and wrapped his arms around me. Like two jigsaw pieces, fitting together perfectly. Within seconds he was sound asleep. I briefly wondered what Haruhi thought about her husband going off to sleep somewhere else on their wedding night, before I too fell asleep.
---
For the next week, the pattern continued. Hikaru would spend day time with his wife but at night Hikaru always slept with me. The only difference was the silence, gone were the days when we shared conversations. He would never say anything when he comes and I would always be too scared to ask why. Why doesn't he ever say anything when he comes? Why does he still come and sleep with me? Why did he get married? In the daylight the awkwardness would be gone.
The next night he didn't come. I waited, but the door never opened. Every sound I heard that night I thought it was him, him leaving his room to come to mine, ours. Sleep evaded me. I thought perhaps I should move to another room, a room far away. A room that I could truly call mine, a room he had never slept in. A room in another house, another city, another country.
I didn't run away and he came back. Then he would leave again, and then come back. The routine went on for months. I wasn't stupid, I did notice. The days he would be gone gradually got longer. He came back less and less each time. But like before there no words exchanged between us. Some nights when he was with me I would silently beg him to go and never come back. This was like ripping a bandaid repeatedly over the same spot, rip it off, and stick it back on just to rip it off again.
---
On their first wedding anniversary, Hikaru announced that his wife was pregnant. He never came back after that day. I knew he wouldn't. The part of him lost was now completely filled; he had found the other jigsaw piece that fitted on the other side of his.
He had taken that step forward. What will I do?
- End -