The Torturing of Jasper

JPOV

Peace at last. Quiet, peaceful, silence…

My family had gone hunting, and I wasn't thirsty yet. I'd hunted yesterday. Only Edward and Alice were home with me, and Edward had just left to go somewhere. That was good. I felt relief as one more thread of emotional connection detached and was out of range.

Don't get me wrong. I love my family very, very much. But with all that love and all of those emotions, sometimes it was alright to feel relief when they were gone.

I was pretty pathetic, being so vulnerable. I felt like sometimes I wasn't even in control with my own existence. But Alice always cheered me up.

Though sometimes I couldn't cheer up right away. Sometimes I was left behind, unable to do anything but wallow in all of the emotion. Happiness radiated normally, and I wouldn't feel anything negative then. But when Emmett and Edward fight or when Alice gives Carlisle makeovers, emotions rampage.

But what was even more dreadful was when Emmett and Rosalie or Esme and Carlisle were sharing intimate moments with each other. That was unbearable. It wouldn't be just happiness, but lust as well. And let me tell you, it's fine to feel lust, but when you feel other peoples' desire, God! It was disgusting.

Alice was somewhere downstairs, watching some kind of "Bachelor" show, or whatever. She'd asked me if I wanted to watch with her, but I said "no". I'd do anything for her, but sometimes I just needed a break from all of that yearning and… emotion.

So I meandered upstairs, minding my own business.

I had nothing to do, really. It was Sunday and I didn't know what to do. Maybe I should've gone hunting…

Yes, I thought. Maybe I'll ask Edward…

Where was he though?

And then, an emotional connection reattached- came into range- and I could feel his emotions.

Waves of heat and warmth and happiness washed over me from his connection line. I was being drowned in a sea of love.

What was he doing?

I walked over to his room. I didn't hear his music playing, and boy, did he love music. So that couldn't be the reason for what he was feeling right now.

I lifted my wrist to knock, trying to be polite, when a tsunami pierced my mind. More emotion!

This was torture. I had felt love before, and I have felt desire, sure… but compared to this dagger of complete and utter adoration and want and need, that was nothing!

What I felt now was a burning inferno of lust, and after I recovered from the waves of emotion that had crashed into me, I opened the door, thinking, what the heck is he doing in there?

I hated myself for asking that question, because it was soon answered.

Edward and Bella were kissing passionately- more passionately than I could ever dare to do with a human- on his leather couch. And they were completely over one another.

Once Edward noticed I was in the doorway, he pulled off of Bella, and they were both panting.

Edward gave me a look, as if to say, "Too much?"

I scoffed. Just a little bit, I thought.

"Sorry," He murmured.

There was a stirring silence…

"I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to go…hunting…" I trailed off awkwardly. "But… I guess you want to continue doing whatever it was…?"

Oh my God, that sounded SO weird!

"Not that you were doing anything but…" If I could blush I would have.

Bella was sitting on the couch, her face flushed with redness.

"Jasper," Edward called.

"Yes?" I asked, embarrassed and sorry for having intruded on their…private moment.

"Just-" Edward started.

"I'll just… leave," I finished his sentence anxiously.

I bolted down the stairs, and sat next to Alice on the couch.

"So, you've decided to give 'Bachelor' a shot?" She said triumphantly.

Wow, my wife didn't even know what happened! And for once!

"Better than what Edward's doing," I murmured as the bachelor started making out with a woman in a bathing suit.

"Huh?" Alice asked. "What's he doing?"

I said a bit too quickly, "Nothing…"

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Angelxo