Mwahahaha all fear the mighty crack fic written at 1:16 a.m. Because it's what all great writers do when they are board. It also allows me to subconscious advertise my form, and the C2 I'm in.
SxP
"Hello and welcome to the first official meeting of The Authors who drink coffee and have ADHD," Love [[me]] said to the room full of people.
"Why am I here? Ah! I'm not an author," Tweek said.
"You're here because your sexy," Love said winking.
Tweek shrieked, burying his head in his arms.
"So what exactly to we do?" Mizuni asked.
"Well I don't know. I didn't exactly plan that far ahead. I'm not even sure why this many people showed up," Love responded.
"Because you said there would be donuts then locked the door so we couldn't get out once we came in," Kyle explained.
"Oh yeah," Love said smiling.
"I'm so pissed off right now," Cartman said. "When you offer donuts there should be god damned donuts."
"Oh shut up fat ass." Love said. "I don't even know why you're here. I hate you."
"I'm here because you're a stupid bitch that promised me donuts." Cartman yelled back.
"Yeah," Clyde agreed.
Suddenly the entire room, excluding Pip, Butters, and Mizuni, was arguing.
"Cover your ears," Mizuni instructed the two blonde boys.
She left, but returned moments later with a bull horn. Which she then pushed the button, filling the room with loud obnoxious noise.
"Please SHUT UP," she yelled.
"Yes mommy," Love replied rolling her eyes.
"Now first things first I need gossip. Because without that we won't have any materials to write about." Mizuni said.
"Well I caught Red Goth and Curly Goth making out behind the dumpster yesterday during recess," Butters said.
"Okay, that's a good start," Mizuni said writing it down.
"Pip went clubbing in a skirt," Love exclaimed.
"WHAT, no I didn't," Pip said turning red.
"Yes you did. Damien told me," Love said sticking her tongue out at him.
"Okay, I already wrote about that," Mizuni said.
"You did! How come I never heard about that?" Pip asked.
"Because I knew you would be angry." Mizuni said hiding behind her note pad.
"You know what. This isn't helping. We need something to help us come up with ideas" Stan said.
"I know what will," Love said.
She then left and returned later with cough medicine.
ONE HIGH LATER
"Anyone come up with anything?" Mizuni asked.
There was a chorus of "No's" and "Not yet's"
"Well that didn't help at all," Cartman said.
"Well thank you captain obvious," Kyle said.
Pip, Kenny, Butters, Tweek, and Love walked into the room.
"Where the heck did you guys go?!" Mizuni asked angrily.
"Oh, why you all were high we went clubbing. Is that okay," Butters asked rubbing his knuckle together.
"We got Pip to wear a skirt again," Love said smiling mischievously.
Pip blushed.
"I only wore that because Damien used his puppy dog eyes on me," Pip said.
"The anti-Christ has puppy dog eyes?" Mizuni asked.
"INSIRT MUFFLE SOUNDS HERE," Kenny replied.
"Well, I beg to differ."
"Guys please, I think we can all agree Tweek is the smexiest," Love said.
"I can't be sexy! It's too much pressure." Tweek said.
"Why the hell did you only invite those guy!?" Mizuni asked.
"I have a thing for blondes," Love explained.
"Okay, can we please get back to work?" Stan asked.
"You only care because you want us to write something about you and Kyle," Love said.
"So! Pip got to wear a skirt. Clyde got sex instead of school work, and what have me and Kyle gotten recently. NOTHING," Stan yelled before storming off to the kitchen.
"Don't mind Stan. He suffering from sex withdrawal," Kyle explained.
"Oh," everyone said.
"Well I think me and Kenny should get a story. Ya know something sweet like in a meadow," Butters said.
"Meadow." Mizuni repeated as she wrote it down.
Kenny replied with muffling.
"Oh my god," Clyde said.
"Ah," Tweek yelled covering his ears.
"Kenny, that's so, ah," Cartman ran to puke.
"Is that even legal?!" Kyle asked.
"That's so sick. I don't even thing I could write that," Mizuni said.
"Is that even physically possible?" Love asked.
"It is actually. Damien and I tried it," Everyone stared at Pip.
The entire time Butters was just standing there with a dark red blush across his cheeks.
"How about a nice Creek fic?" Mizuni asked.
"No Tweek is mine," Love said throwing her arms around him.
"When did this happen? I don't remember ever getting a girlfriend" Tweek said.
"Fine, have your fun with Craig, but I'll be watching." Love said.
"I don't think we're getting very far," Stan said coming back from the kitchen.
"I have an idea," Love said.
"NO," everyone shrieked.
"Seriously this one is a good idea." Love explained.
"That's what you said about the time machine," Clyde said.
"Look, I didn't mean to start World War II," Love said.
"And the dynamite transportation business," Kyle added.
"Canada was too big anyways," Love said.
"And the swine flew incident." Butters said.
"Okay, I really didn't mean to genetically enhance the virus to make it susceptible to people."
"And," Stan began.
"Okay, those times don't matter now. This is a real good idea."
She left and returned with…
"A Large Pad?" Cartman asked.
"Yup, all ideas can be written here." Love said.
"And how will that help us?" Clyde asked.
"People think better when surrounded by unusually large paper," Love said.
"It's true I saw it on 60 minutes," Pip said.
"Okay then, let's get to work." Mizuni said.
THE NEXT DAY
"So Butters did you try…it out?" Pip asked.
"Yes," Butters replied sadly.
"And?"
"I killed Kenny," Butters began sobbing.
AT KYLE'S HOUSE
"That's weird," Kyle said.
"What's weird?" Stan asked as his boyfriend snuggled closer to him.
"I have the strangest urge to say, you bastard."
END