A/N: I was just thinking, "I never have any inspiration anymore. I cannot write. It is the end." ...when I thought up this fic.
ProbabilityHakkai was sitting patiently at a wooden table in the center of the room the four men shared, Goku squirming at his feet. Sanzo was sitting at the opposite end of the table, reading his newspaper with a smoke, and Gojyo was lounging on the room's single bed, also puffing away.
It was one of those dead evenings when Goku had given up trying to understand what the hell Hakkai was saying and Hakkai had given up trying to teach Goku to understand what the hell he was saying. Goku's attention span was generally about as short as the barrel of Sanzo's gun (though no one in their right mind would make that comparison out loud for fear of someone making a phallic connection and then... Sanzo would be mad).
The lesson was probability. Hakkai was trying to explain that no matter how many times you flipped tails in a row, the next flip will still have a fifty-percent probability of landing heads.
"That's ridiculous," said Gojyo from across the room, emerging from his languor. "If you flip a coin ten times and it's tails, there no way it's gonna land tails again." Gojyo, being the gambler that he was, felt quite assured in his position.
"Though it may seem that way, the probability is still fifty percent." Hakkai smiled at Gojyo. Hakkai, being smarter than Gojyo, felt quite assured in his position. Hakkai pondered for a few moments to think up a comparison that both Gojyo and Goku would understand. "It's like... let's say that Gojyo and Goku are arguing in the backseat of the Jeep. The chance that Sanzo will fire off a shot is about eighty percent, with a twenty percent chance of him merely pointing the gun at Gojyo and cocking it back."
Sanzo grunted at this and ruffled his newspaper in distaste, disliking the thought of being so predictable. He decided that he'd fire off two shots next time.
Hakkai laughed softly to himself. "But now that I've said that, Sanzo is probably going to fire off two shots next time."
Scratch that. Sanzo grunted again.
Gojyo decided that arguing with Hakkai was about as profitable as playing poker with Hakkai, and stayed silent, taking a few puffs as he stared at the ceiling in resignment.
Goku, suprisingly silent until this moment, finally piped up. "So the coin thing is like... even though it seems like there's a chance Sanzo really will shoot Gojyo, there's a zero percent chance that he actually ever will."
By this point, Sanzo had been reading the same line over and over again, but he wasn't about to give up his pretense of disinterest. "Don't be so sure about that," he mumbled around his cigarette.
"Exactly." Hakkai beamed.
Sanzo grunted.
Later that night, after Sanzo and Goku had fallen asleep (the former with his back to the wall, the latter sprawled over both his cot and Gojyo's, Gojyo sat on the bed Hakkai had won (of course), leaning against the window. Hakkai sat opposite him with his feet under the covers, absently petting the dozing Hakuryu in his lap.
"So," said Gojyo. "What's the probability that we will be alive after this trip is over, teacher?"
Hakkai laughed a little to himself. "Ten percent."
"Oy." Gojyo chuckled. "Such a pessimist." He stretched out, digging his heels into the blankets and bracing his back on the headboard as he leaned his head backwards to touch his forehead to the glass, then flopped back into a sitting position once more. Hakkai thought Gojyo looked like a cat.
Gojyo caught Hakkai looking and slung himself forward onto all fours, crawling to look Hakkai in the nose. "And teacher," he breathed. "What's the probability of me getting any before this trip is over?"
Hakkai gave Gojyo a smile, a real smile, slow, sensual, and full a possibility...and then promptly shoved Gojyo backwards to land in an awkward, decidedly not-feline position half-falling off the bed.
"Considering that right now Sanzo is giving you the evil eye, I'd say the probability is zero." Gojyo's eyes followed Hakkai's amused gaze to see Sanzo with one eye cracked open, glaring daggers at Gojyo with an expression that said, Let me get some goddamn rest, you perverted kappa.
Gojyo sputtered and grumbled (quietly, for fear of Sanzo's wrath) and clambered up onto the bed once more, this time squeezing himself next to Hakkai.
"Okay then. He laid his head on Hakkai's shoulder. "How about me getting a snuggle in?"
Hakkai grinned and gave Gojyo's cockroach feeler a playul tug. "For that, one hundered percent." Hakkai scooched over another notch and Gojyo sidled over, sliding under the blankets as Hakkai follwed suit.
"And how about a goodnight kiss?" Gojyo murmured as he lay on his side with an arm propping his head up, facing Hakkai.
Hakkai's eyelids lowered seductively as he took his Gojyo's face, hair pooled around him and spilling onto the pillow like a fountain of blood. "Zero." He whispered, and rolled over to face away from Gojyo.
Gojyo "ch'd" in disappointment but snuggled up to encircle Hakkai's waist with his arms anyway.
"However," murmured Hakkai, "The probability may be be different tomorrow."
Gojyo smirked into Hakkai's hair, knowing he had won.
A/N: I was hoping I could get to the end of a fic without having any 58, but nooooo. :-P