A/N: Okay, this story is officially dedicated to Bella68, because her picture of Urahara Kisuke singing "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye to Yoruichi in a public place is priceless and demands a one-shot. (I don't know if this has already been done, but if it has, I'm not copying, just throwing my own spin on the idea :P)
Suggested listening? Must you ask? "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye.
Let's Get it On
Yoruichi frowned and narrowed her eyes, their cat like slits glaring evilly at Kisuke as he tugged her down the street, his sandal clad feet making that same, monotonous, irritating noise that bothered her sensitive ears.
Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop…
It was enough to drive her insane.
Not only did Kisuke insist that she come along on this mindless excursion of his, he had made her change clothes, and on top of all that, she was hungry.
Yoruichi plus Hungry equals: Irritable Yoruichi
Yoruichi plus Hungry plus Annoying Kisuke equals: Don't even bother asking "Who pissed in your cornflakes" because you're so getting ready to die.
Her frown deepened as Kisuke paused at one of Karakura Town's many intersections, the crosswalks, faded from years of use and wear barely reflecting in the dying light of the sun as its vibrant purple and red hues cast wild shadows against their backs.
Kisuke's grip tightened on her hand, and she hissed inwardly. Her palms were starting to sweat.
Gross.
Kisuke's seemingly innate ability to somehow pick the exact directions of where he was going out of thin air had obviously evaporated, most likely the same way that his brain would if she cracked opened his skull and left it sizzling on the ground.
Mmmm. Brains.
Once again brought back to the mind numbing thought of being hungry, and at the same time inwardly disgusted at the thought of herself eating brains, albeit those of Kisuke, Yoruichi frowned so deep her eyebrows touched.
This was not boding well for Urahara Kisuke.
Yoruichi sighed in relief as he finally stopped before a cheerily decorated store, bright neon lights making her shut her eyes as he tugged her inside, her ability to sense other's reiatsu making it effortless for her to navigate around the throngs of people inside.
The sudden stench of a spirit made Yoruichi jump, and open her eyes, a great caterwauling assaulting her ears as Kisuke tugged her into a booth, eyes riveted on the scene as a Radish-spirit went to town on Britney Spears' "I'm a Slave, for You" in what was obviously a very poor imitation of the singer herself, in what was obviously a seedy Karaoke bar of the spirit world.
Just peachy.
Disturbed, Yoruichi said nothing, only grunted as Kisuke ordered the bottomless platter for her, her chopsticks moving at a speed so fast that only she could match every fatal stroke as the skewered pieces of beef and vegetables in her mouth all at once.
She hardly noticed Kisuke walking towards the tanuki manning the DJ's booth.
His voice suddenly crackling over the loudspeakers though, was enough to make her choke.
"Ano…" Kisuke began, his droll and smooth voice sailing out over the crowd, "I would like to dedicate a song to a particular someone in our company this evening. Please enjoy my masterpiece."
He bowed excessively, a shit-eating grin on his face as Yoruichi stared him down from afar, her evil glares of "You better not be singing to me" wafted backwards by her own waves of evil wrath.
She knew she should never have pantsed him in front of Mayuri…
A smooth guitar intro and Kisuke's not-so-great singing voice made her grimace as he began to serenade the crowd.
"I've been really tryin , baby
Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long
And if you feel, like I feel baby
Come on, oh come on,"
Yoruichi's face flamed as her reiatsu flared evilly around her, wafting in black waves as Kisuke grinned again.
"Let's get it on
Lets get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on"
A chopstick narrowly missed hitting Kisuke in the face as the entire crowd turned to witness a furious Yoruichi standing haughtily next to their low, traditional dining table.
"We're all sensitive people There's nothin wrong with me
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be
Lets say, I love you
Lovin you--- And givin yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true"
If Yoruichi noticed the blush wafting up over her face as a nearby spider licked her chops salaciously in Kisuke's direction, she would have exclaimed that it was nothing. That those words meant nothing.
"Don't you know how sweet and wonderful, life can be
I'm askin you baby, to get it on with me
I aint gonna worry, I aint gonna push
So come on, come on, come on, come on baby
Stop beatin round the bush..."
Yoruichi felt something pull in the pit of her stomach, her hands clenching tightly as she looked down, her bangs hiding her face, Kisuke's cracking voice making her wince and tremble at the same time. Tremble from just the thought of the touch of his hands on her skin…
"Let's get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on"
The music faded out, the crowd clapping as Urahara smiled devilishly in her direction. "My dear ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the inspiration for my song?"
Urahara proudly pulled a life-sized portrait of Jessica Alba from his pocket and grinned, the whole crowd laughing as Yoruichi's anger spilled over and finally…
Erupted.
Kisuke could say later that it wasn't his fault that Yoruichi had to pay reparations to the people injured in her rampage.
Yoruichi could say that it was entirely his fault that later, when she found herself pinned beneath him on a futon in the dark, the light of the moon seeping from between cracks in the blinds, that she had Marvin Gaye stuck in her head.
A/N: LOL! Hope this satisfied :-) It makes me smile ;-)
R/R! Let me know what you think!!