Yet not all was death

by TMI Fairy

Nooo! After shitting all over the book, logic and good taste throughout three movies Peter Jackson did NOT keep the Hawt!Durins alive. I am sooo in denial and shock after BofA ... sniff ... he could had killed the fuglies instead, like Nori or Oin ... sniff ... this is my take on a more cheerful outcome. Thorin's Company and Dis

A few weeks after BofA:

The soft, feminine grunts and delicate groans were slowly gaining tempo and volume. She was desperate to find any sort of pleasure. Anything to make her forget, even for a moment, the loss of her sons. And brother too.

"Yes! Mahal! Ugh! OH FUCK! MAHAL! YES!"

Some more slapping of flesh on flesh produced an incoherent series of manly grunts informing that the woman's partner had found release as well.

.

---

Some months later:

One midwife to another:

"The waters? Again?"

.

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An hour later Dis beamed:

"I've decided to call the girls Audhild and Turid. What do you think, Bombur-love?"

THUDD as Bombur-love hit the floor.

.

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Fifteen years later:

"And these are the 12 tombs of the Heroes of Thorin's Company, all fallen at the Battle of the Five Armies. Your two brothers and your uncles. All the others were your uncles – even if distant."