Hey guys, this is my first fanfic. Please go easy on me. I got this idea after two authors asked me to come up with a character for their stories. The two authors are CandorOrDauntlessFanatic and rubberduckybugati. I'd recommend their stories, they're awesome. Thank you to you guys for helping me in a way for this story and this idea coming forth.
This will be a story without the war on Abnegation. So, those who died like Will will be alive. Don't like it, don't read it. This will also be after Divergent. The gang will already have finished initiation and passed. I will reveal what I want them to choose as their jobs as I go through the story
I don't know how big this story will be. We'll see how you guys like this and if you guys want to see more. I also don't know how often the updates will be. I've got church, I'm the middle of five kids, we have four dogs, every two weeks, I go payday shopping with my older sister, and I may go to college in the fall.
There will be abuse in here. Don't like that or aren't comfortable seeing/reading that, don't read this.
There may be some references to God in here. If you don't like that kind of thing, don't read this! I am a Christian and I plan on possibly putting those kind of things in here.
I think that is all that I have to say on that. Please read and review. I will gladly take good criticism.
Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. That belongs to Veronica Roth. I do not own songs that I will be using. Those are owned by Disney and For King & Country. I only own my own characters, Adira and any other OC's that I come up with.
Now on to the story! I hope that you enjoy the story!
Chapter 1
It was just a regular day for me in Abnegation. My name is Adira Johnson and I just turned 16 a few days ago. I'm 5'2 and have thick, brown hair that comes to my shoulders. I'm white. I have brown eyes. I'm the middle of five kids. My two older siblings' names are Jessie and Jeremiah. They are 20 and 18. My younger siblings' names are Judd and Emily. They are 11 and 9. My parents' names are Natasha and Daniel. My parents are on the council of Abnegation.
Abnegation is focused on being selfless. As such, we focus on that as well. Problem with that, my family is far from that. In public, you wouldn't guess that at all. At home, it is farther from the truth. Welcome to my world.
"Slave!" my mother called.
"Yes, mother?" I said.
Slap! My cheek burned, hurt and turned red. I'm surprised and yet, I'm not. This happens a lot. If I don't do what I'm supposed to or if I do something wrong, I get slapped or other various things as punishment for what I did even if it's an accident. It's been happening since I was 10. I was asked to cook spaghetti for dinner and to watch my younger siblings since it was choosing day for Jessie. Judd was taking a nap. I had Emily playing in the living room with some toys and I went to check on the spaghetti to see if it was done. I went to make sure that the sink was free to drain it. When I came back to the stove to get the spaghetti to drain it, Emily was at the stove and was reaching for the pot and was about to pull it on her. I was about to yell a warning, but it was too late. She pulled it on herself and had several burns on her. I was never forgiven for it after that. I've been made the slave/servant after that event. I was never allowed a normal childhood after that either. It was never a happy time for me or my family after that. It just turned sour and went downhill after that. I experienced things that I never wish that I had.
"You know better than to call me mother. I disowned you long ago. You lost that right when you spilled that hot water on Emily. That cost us several thousand dollars. You've been told to call me 'mam."
"I said I was sorry and that it was an accident."
"That doesn't matter! You were supposed to make dinner and watch Emily. We trusted you and you lost that trust very much. Do you understand?"
"Yes 'mam."
"Good. I hope that we don't have to have this conversation again. Now remember to do the chores and to choose Abnegation tomorrow on your choosing day. We wouldn't want to lose our favorite helper, now would we?"
"No 'mam."
"Good, now get to work."
"Yes 'mam."
My decision for tomorrow isn't going to be Abnegation. My family only wants me to choose Abnegation because they have me as the slave/servant since that event. It's very rare that I hear my name any more. It's usually slave or something else that they feel at the time. It's mainly my mom or my older siblings who don't call me by my name. Judd and Emily don't do it unless they aren't getting their way. My dad has on the occasion whipped me with a whip or a belt. Just depends on how he feels, if I make him mad, or if my mom told him that I was "bad" and the severity of how "bad"
I can't wait until tomorrow. I'm thinking about joining Dauntless. I love how brave they are. They don't have any fear or at least they don't show it when I see them. I also feel drawn to that life style that I see all the time at school or how they come to school.
I mainly have to stay at home unless I'm at school.
I've only made one friend in Abnegation. Her name is Tzofiya Jemerson. She's also my next door neighbor. She's 5'2, dark tan, brown eyes, and black hair that comes to her shoulders. She's the only one who knows the truth about my family. She's heard all of the things that my family does to me, my crying, and/or the screaming that takes place.
Today is the day that I take my aptitude test. I'm excited and nervous about it. I've been hearing some rumors of the Divergent. I personally love the Divergent. They are soooo cool to me! To have more than one faction that you could be good at and to even show those results, it would be so cool! I don't care what some people say about them being dangerous to the factions. I believe that it's cool and that that is God's way of having people be unique. I love it.
On my way to school, my older brother, Jeremiah grabs my sleeve and whispered with a hint of hatred saying, "Don't forget to choose Abnegation no matter what your test says, slave. Wouldn't want something to happen to you. We're just protecting you. You wouldn't last 5 minutes out there. You don't know what the real world is like."
"I won't." I gave him a look of determination at him. I lied to him. I lied to my mom. If I told them the truth, I would never walk out that door. I would be severely punished.
"Good." He said. He let go of my sleeve.
I have no good memories with my older brother. Especially after that event with Emily. He's very protective of her and even more so after that event. But after that event, it just got worse. He even raped me several times. When I tried to go to my parents, he lied and even used the event against me. They wouldn't believe me. Just said that I was lying. Just brushed it off. They believed and even told me that I was just trying to get him into trouble. They claimed that I was always the trouble child, it was just proven on that day that Emily got hurt.
I arrived at school. School was my favorite place to go to. A lot of people believe that I'm crazy for even liking school. But for me, school had become my escape from home. I wasn't followed. I wasn't in any class with my family. Jessie and Jeremiah were finished and for some reason were still at home. When I tried saying that they should have their own houses and be on their own, I was yelled at and told to shut up. Go figure. Judd and Emily are too young yet.
I was at my locker when my best friend, Tzofiya came and greeted me.
"Hey bestie! How's life treating you?" Tzofiya asked.
"Same old, same old."
"Hey, what happened to your face?"
"Mom slapped me, called her mom not 'mam and she slapped me for it. Gave me the whole story about how I lost the right to call her that after that event with Emily."
"That was just an accident! I remember that whole event. Are they still holding a grudge over that?"
"I know that was just an accident. I don't know how many times I've told them that. They don't believe me. And yes, they still hold that as grudge and they hold it over me. Can't wait for choosing day tomorrow. I'll finally get away from them."
I had told Tzofiya my plans of transferring, she's planning on going with me. She doesn't fit in Abnegation either.
"Well, speaking of choosing day, we've got aptitude tests today to look forward to and the rest of the school day. We'd better get going."
"Let's watch the Dauntless jump down first. Tomorrow, we'll be doing things like that."
"Yeah, okay. But only because this will be the last time that I have to watch with you."
"You and I both know that we both love watching the Dauntless jump," I saying while laughing.
"Yeah, yeah, let's just go before we're late."
We go to where the Dauntless jump from. I can't wait to join them. I long for that freedom and to be free just like them. I hope that I pass initiation. I've heard that it's very difficult to pass. Although, I've heard that some of the rules have changed since two Abnegation transfers joined and got into leadership positions. I don't know what's true. I'll just have to wait and see.
As we watch them jump, I feel like I'm the one jumping off of the train. I feel just so free watching them. I so cannot wait to be one of them.
After the last one jumps, we rush to get to our first class. I count the hours 'till we take the aptitude tests. The aptitude tests are supposed to tell us which factions we're supposed to join. I wonder which one I'll get.
School went by as slow as usual. I tuned out most of the classes. I just wanted class to end, have lunch, and take the test. I'm so nervous as to what my results will be.
After what seems like forever, the bell finally rings. Tzofiya and I rush out of class nearly tripping over people.
We go to the cafeteria and choose a table that is far from the other students and yet close to the Dauntless students.
"Well, after lunch, it's time for the aptitude test. What do you think you'll get?" Tzofiya asks me.
"It'll probably be Abnegation. That's all I've known and my family has made sure that that's the way that I live without questions. But I hope that I get Dauntless. What about you?"
"Same here. I want Dauntless, but even if I don't get Abnegation, I'm going to Dauntless and so are you, right?"
"That's the plan. I don't want to spend any more time here than I have to."
"Yeah, same here. I've had enough of being selfless, but you have every reason to leave. I'm surprised that you haven't left sooner."
"You and me both. But it's better to wait for choosing day and just transfer."
"True. That is probably the best way unless you want to be factionless. But with your situation, you wouldn't want to be factionless."
"Exactly. I just want to be as far away from here as I can get."
"I understand how you feel. Just have to wait for your name to be called."
"Yeah. But we have a long way to go."
"True."
We finished our lunch in silence with me on occasion stealing a glance at the Dauntless.
A couple hours later, Tzofiya was called. I grabbed her arm and said, "Good luck."
"Thanks, you too. See you after you're done?"
"Sure. We can walk home together."
"Yep, just like always."
I smiled at her and waited for my turn. I was starting to get really nervous when two people that I thought that I wouldn't have to see come up to me. Judd and Emily.
"What do you want?" I asked with a bit of an angry tone.
"Just wanted to remind you to pick Abnegation tomorrow no matter what the test says. We both really don't want to have to pick up what you do and neither of us really want to be you," Judd says bitterly.
"I know that. The family has been sure to let me know to not leave Abnegation! What, did your mother tell you to tell me?!" I nearly screamed at them. I was holding the table to tight that my knuckles were turning white.
"What does it matter?" Emily asked bitterly and with a bit of anger. "You're just a slave anyway."
That made me so angry. I was almost about to punch her when Tzofiya came out and told me that it was my turn to go in.
I was thankful for the save. But Judd grabbed my sleeve and said with hatred, "This isn't over. After dinner, we're finishing this. I think some punishment is in order for you." He said the last part with an evil grin on his face. I had never seen that look on his face before. I thought I was safe from him. I guess that I was wrong.
I turned pale. What could he come up with? I pushed those thoughts away. I needed to focus on the test.
I told Judd to let go. He did but not without hesitation. I was having a lot of fear as I went into the testing room. I wish that they had left me alone. But I know better than that.
I knocked on the door.
"Come in," a woman voice said.
A woman who is about 5'6, tan, brown eyes, and black hair that comes to about her waist.
"Hello, my name is Tori and I will administrating your test. What's your name?"
"Adira. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise. Now sit in the chair."
"Okay."
I was still very nervous. The chair was still warm. I wonder who was sitting in the chair before me.
"No, I can't think like that. I have to focus on the test. It's just me. Focus, get out of here, and go home," I tell myself.
"You're going to feel a pinch and the test will begin. Good luck."
I feel the pinch and my vision goes black.
I open my eyes and I'm no longer in the test room. I'm in a room full of mirrors. In front of me are two pillars. On one pillar is a knife and on the other pillar is a piece of cheese.
A voice tells me to choose.
"Why?" I ask.
"Just choose," the voice replies.
When I look back at the pillars to choose, the pillars are gone.
I start to panic. I turn around and there's a dog in front of me. A Siberian husky. It is a gray and white. The husky pins its ears back and starts to growl at me. What to do? I don't have the items. What to do? I decide to drop to my knees and pray that the husky doesn't decide to attack. Surprisingly, the husky doesn't attack. It starts to whine and kiss my face. I start to smile and laugh. I haven't felt the tongue of a dog in a very long time.
Suddenly, a young girl about 10 says excitedly, "Puppy!"
I'm about to warn her. The husky changes and starts to growl at her.
"Run!" I yell.
The girl takes off and I pounce on the husky.
The scene changes and I'm back in Abnegation on a bus filled with people.
There is man sitting in front of me with a newspaper. He points to a picture on the front and asks, "Do you know this man?"
I look to where he's pointing and I feel like I do know the man, but I don't remember where I've seen him.
"I'm not sure," I reply.
"Are you sure?" he asks.
What do I say? What to do? I'm not sure that I should trust him. But in Abnegation, we're supposed to help people, no matter what. I decide to answer him honestly.
"I feel like I do know him, but I'm not sure as to why."
"Hmm, if you saw him, would you be able to point him out?"
"Yes, I feel that I could."
"Very well, I'll get in touch with you and we'll do a search."
"Okay."
I come back to.
Tori starts to unplug things and she has a concerned look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"Well, that was interesting. I've never seen this before."
"What's the problem?"
"You've gotten more than one result on your test. For some factions, that is unacceptable. So, for you, this is very dangerous. Some factions will accept you and some won't. You need to be careful. I will tell you this, you're not safe in Erudite."
"Where I am safe?"
"In Dauntless and Abnegation. Amity relies on Erudite and really doesn't want to get on their bad side. Candor is the same way. Thanks to the new leadership in Dauntless, Divergents are safe. It's your choice as to where you want to go."
"What are my results?"
"Abnegation, Candor, and Dauntless."
"Oh."
"Yeah, you have a big decision."
"Yeah. Thank you for helping me and giving me the test."
"You're welcome. Now, good luck tomorrow."
"Thank you."
"Bye."
As I left the testing room, there was a lot on my mind. I knew what I wanted to choose. But still, three factions?! I knew that I couldn't tell my family. I would be punished no matter if I did choose Abnegation. I have three. That I know of, no one in my family has three. They only got one.
I came out to find Tzofiya. She waited for me just like I knew that she would.
"Well, what happened?" she asked.
"Tell you on the way home and you have to tell me what you got, deal?"
"Deal."
As we walked home, we at first just talked about the usual things, people were around so we didn't want to have other people hearing us. We weren't supposed to talk about the results to anyone, but with best friends we like to make exceptions even though we not supposed to.
"Well, what you get?" she asked me.
"Abnegation, Candor, and Dauntless," I replied.
"What?! You got three?!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, now what did you get?"
"Abnegation and Dauntless."
"You know what that means, right?"
"Yeah, we're Divergent."
"Yeah."
"Well, that makes our choice pretty easy, right?"
"Yeah, but we need to still keep this a secret. Who knows whether or not we're safe? People are still scared of people like us."
"True."
For the rest of the trip home, we walked in silence. Tzofiya went home first. We hugged, kissed, said our goodbyes, and then I went home, dreading what would await for me there.
As soon as I walked into the door, I felt tension and I knew that that meant nothing good for me.
"Well, well, well, look who arrived home. It's punishment time!" my dad said.
"What did I do this time?" I asked. I immediately regretted that I had opened my mouth.
Slap! He slapped both sides of my face.
"You know better than to talk back to me or anyone in this house except for what was told to you that you're allowed to say!"
"Yes, sir."
"Now, you talked back to Judd and Emily. You gave your mother trouble this morning. You talked back to Jeremiah. I'm surprised that you didn't have trouble with Jessie."
"I haven't seen her today. That's why," I thought.
"Now here's your punishment from me. After mine, you'll go to Jeremiah, Judd, and Emily for your punishment from them. Then you'll go find my wife and see what punishment she has for you. Then you'll go make dinner. Then you'll go to your room to think about your results. But we already know that you'll pick Abnegation and stay with us. Understood?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good."
He then whipped me with his belt and a whip.
I was so sore. But I couldn't let it show.
Then I went to Jeremiah.
He looked up from whatever he was doing.
"What?" he asked angrily.
I gave him a look that said, "You know what."
"Oh," he said, "Come here and take off your clothes."
I proceeded to and he raped me. Again. Who knows home many times now?
Then I went to Judd.
He had this evil grin on his face. I had this feeling inside that told me that he knew what he was about to do and he had planned this for some time now.
He asked me to do the same that Jeremiah had. I did. He did the same thing that Jeremiah had done. He raped me.
I then went to Emily. I had no clue what to expect from her. What was a 9 year old girl going to do? Who knew?
I entered her room.
"What?" she asked lazily.
I gave her a look that said, "You know what."
"Oh, I don't know. Here. Do my homework and make it look like it's my handwriting."
"Okay. That all?"
"Yes, I believe so. I'll let you know if I need anything."
"Okay."
I did her homework and made it look like her handwriting.
"Done."
"Okay. Go do whatever you need to do. I don't need you for now."
"Okay."
I went to Jessie. She thankfully didn't have any punishment for me today.
I went to my mom. She whipped me a lot.
I went and I made dinner. It was spaghetti. All of the memories from the last time I made it came running back to me.
"Conceal it. Don't feel. Don't let it show," I tell myself, "You can let it show when you get to the safety of your room. It's just for tonight that you have to deal with this. And maybe the morning. Tomorrow at the choosing ceremony, it's over. No more of this."
I made dinner and set it out for my family.
"Dinner's ready!" I yell.
The family came down and sat at the table.
I served them and then I went to my table in the kitchen and got myself some food. I couldn't eat with them anymore. I can't do anything with them anymore. I'm just like a slave in my own home and my own family.
I silently prayed like I had done so many times before.
"Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for my family, having food to eat, having shelter over my head, and not being factionless. I'm really glad that I'm not factionless. I also thank you that You gave me the strength to make it through today with all that is happening with my situation."
"I ask again, why? Why am I going through this? What are you trying to teach me? What is your plan? What is your purpose? What am I supposed to be learning here? Your Word tells me that You have a plan and a purpose. You don't have a plan to hurt me or to harm me. I know that. But I can't help but wonder in my situation. I'm sure getting things that I don't deserve. I haven't done anything to deserve this. That event was just a mistake. It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. I repented to You. I asked for forgiveness. I told everyone that I was sorry. But they always remember that event. I need Your help. I need direction. I need to know what to do."
"I've got the aptitude test. I've gotten three results. I can go to any of them. I'm thinking Dauntless. My family is demanding and wanting me to stay here in Abnegation. I need You, Holy Spirit to help guide me. Please tell me what to do. Guide me right now. In Jesus' name, Amen!"
As I was about to take a bite of my food, I felt the Lord answer me.
He said, "I had you go through these things because in Dauntless, there will be some situations that will come up in your life that you will be able to help and change because of your experiences that you have experienced here. I haven't left or forsaken you even though that is how you feel sometimes. You will grow stronger because of this situation. Dauntless is your way out. Dauntless is where I'm calling you to go. I didn't plan for this to happen. Satan came and twisted My plans for you. But I will use what he meant for evil for good. You will be able to help some people in Dauntless because of your experiences. You have done well, my good and faithful servant.
"Thank you, Lord. I'm going to trust you. Thank you for answering me. I trust you. You will lead me and guide me. "
I was able to eat my dinner that night with in peace.
I washed the dishes, cleaned the table, and did my chores that I needed to do that night before I went to bed.
I went to bed that night completely sore, but also with a peace that I had never had before. Before I went to bed, a couple songs started running through my head. I had heard them on the radio in a bus or something. I don't remember.
Song #1, it's called Let It Go, it was from the movie Frozen, I didn't see that movie. Abnegation doesn't watch movies. It's self-indulgent to watch movies.
The snow glows out on the mountain tonight. Not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen. The wind is hollowing like the swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in heaven knows I tried. Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know! Well now they know!
Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!
Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door!
I don't care what they're going to say!
Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway!
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small and the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!
It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and breakthrough!
No right, no wrong, no rules for me! I'm free!
Let it go! Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky!
Let it go! Let it go! You'll never see me cry!
Here I stand and I'll stay!
Let the storm rage on!
My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around and one thought crystalizes like an icy blast!
I'm never going back! The past is in the past!
Let it go! Let it go! I'll rise like the break of dawn!
Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!
Here I stand in the light of day!
Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway!
Song #2 it's called Shoulders. It's by For King & Country.
When confusion's my companion
And despair holds me for ransom
I will feel no fear
I know that You are near
When I'm caught deep in the valley
With chaos for my company
I'll find my comfort here
'Cause I know that you are near
My help comes from You
You're right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness, all on Your shoulders, Your shoulders
My help comes from You
You are my rest, my rescue
I don't have to see to believe that You're lifting me up on Your shoulders, Your shoulders
You mend what once was shattered
And You turn my tears to laughter
Your forgiveness is my fortress
Oh Your mercy is relentless
My help is from You
Don't have to see it to believe it
My help is from you
Don't have to see it, 'cause I know, 'cause I know it's true
My help is from you
Don't have to see it to believe it
My help is from you
Don't have to see it, 'casue I know, 'cause I know it's true
With those songs and what the Lord had spoken to me, I went to sleep not worried about what I was going to choose tomorrow. I was good. I was putting everything in the Lord's hands and I was going to trust Him to work everything out.
Well guys, that's the end of Chapter 1. I hope that you guys liked it. I don't know when I'll get Chapter 2 done. I've got a conference at my church starting Thursday. Tomorrow I have to get ready for it. Probably won't be 'till sometime next week before I get the next chapter up. Please read, review, and favorite. Bye!