The elevator made a high-pitched sound. Even if the Ministry had been rebuilt, some things never changed. The glistening light on London that morning was a sight for sore eyes. Hermione Granger needed that more than she should have. Her children had out-grown her shadow, and her husband was more than incline to follow them. They had had a wildly debated divorce a few months back.
No one cared so much about them than when they were falling apart. But it was too late and the light was fading away. Slowly going down, the machinery still moving, she had not noticed the only other passenger in the elevator. He worked at the Administration Department now, a consultant on all deserters matters.
Officially. Obviously, this post was to keep him within Aurors sights and ear-shots. He spent most of his time in an office, filling in the blanks on some Death Eaters whereabouts. Their relatives, their lives. He knew what the dead knew. That silence was never of good use if it got you killed. He had a son and a wife. They seemed happy enough. Scorpius was a good child, better than his father, and even though he would have a hard time admitting it, he was very proud of him. He also knew that his son could not really say the same about his father, but, hey, what were fathers for if not be hated a little?
Draco Malfoy was listening carefully to the few sound the mechanics made: he tried to focus on something else than who was with him in that damned box. He knew their rightful looks and judgmental eyes. Gryffindors never really changed. He smirked to himself, making fun of whomever was inside his head talking right now. Probably his eleven-year-old self. As righteous and judgmental as can be. Very hypocrite too. When the engine stopped, Hermione was ready to live. Steady on her feet and light in her path. But the doors did not open. She shook the lock, tried an "Alomora", but nothing happened. Sheturned to the only other silhouette in the room.
"Fuck."
She turned back. She could hear him smile from where she was standing. It was too early in the morning to wait for anyone to help them. What a great idea to be in the Ministry of Magic only when almost no one was there. Her hair caught in a bun she sat on the floor and sighed heavily, trying to get her sore back to stop winning about her. The witch took off her heels and left them beside her, crossing her hand on her lap, trying to sleep however she could. Draco was not the same. He tried to rip the elevator apart with absolutely no success. He finally went to sit down on the opposite side of the elevator.
She smirked "Did that felt good?"
He puffed.
"Smartass as can be Granger? And here I thought you were mature enough to just shut up."
She opened her eyes slowly. If he had seen any Muggle horror movies, he would be scared right now. Not that he was.
Obviously. Maybe a little.
Her face was pale and her skin showed some signs of imperfection but, overall, she had not changed a bit. She was 35 now, and if she could not take any shit from him when they were in school, she could definitely not take any from him right now.
"Oh Malfoy. And here I thought I made it clear long ago that I didn't give a shit about whatever you can be thinking about.
- You didn't say that when I treated you like..."
Draco shut up on his own. His knees almost up to his face, the heels of his hand trying to crush his eyes into their orbits, and a face as tired as can be. His jacket was on the floor, and his suit was a little bit wrinkled by the battle he had with the machine earlier. He also knew that no matter what, no onewas there in his office to help him so... He never did ask for any help, not even getting out of an elevator. The ministry worker tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and seemed disturbed.
She whispered, "Treated me like what, Malfoy?"
"None of your business Granger...
- I'm afraid it is. Treated me like what?" she said firmly.
Draco was too tired. He had not slept in his bed for the past year, and could not bring himself to leave the couch for a real bed in one of the numerous other rooms of the manor. He opened his mouth, just to close it after three seconds searching for his words.
He got up.
"Dammit Granger. Can't you just let this go...?" She was about to answer when he interrupted her "No. In fact, never mind, I don't want to hear it".
His back to her, he murmured to himself. She did not hear until a few moments later out of the blue, he turned and looked at her: " I treated you like trash".
His hair was covering some parts of his face, his arms crossed on his chest, and a truly guilty look on his face.
"You...You did." Hermione nodded. She waited for the words to sink in. Her lips got bitten. "But you've paid more than enough for it."
It seemed to him that it was a way of saying 'I forgive you'.
But he did not hold on to the feeling of relief. Feelings were fools only meant to deceive you. He sat back down, trying to relax his back.
" Well... At least I deserved what I had coming to me. Not like everyone else these days."
Her jaw clenched. She could not do this right now. Not trying to talk to him would be like trying not to read an open book. She could not resist the pull of the pages wide open in front of her. Curiosity was bad for her health. But there were worse things to do than to talk to Draco Malfoy. Right?
Tears were in her eyes. A few dropped on the back of her right hand. She thought about Remus and Tonks, and Teddy Lupin. She thought about George and Fred Weasley. She thought about all those deaths in the Great Hall. The memories were never going away, always under the surface, easy to reach but so hard to let go of.
"Don't...don't say that. Among all those who helped Voldemort, I..." She took a deep breath, shaking slightly in between two breaths. "I truly came to think that... You were not the worst of them all. You did not have a real choice in the matter. Your parents were being held by him, and you did what you had to do to save those you love..."
Hermione broke into tears. Water was pouring down her face, down her clenched fist against her torn lips. Still, she inhaled slowly, cleaning up as much as she could
"Just like we did Malfoy. Just like we did."
Draco kept silent for a while. He stayed in shock for a few minutes, not knowing if he was dreaming, having a panic attack, hallucinating or all of the above. Steady on his feet he crouched and reach for his inner pocket. A tissue appeared and he handed it over to Hermione. It was purple silk, a gift from his mother. She looked at him strangely, not daring touching it.
"Just take it dammit Granger. Don't be so stubborn." The tissue was shoved in her hand. She did not expect him to do that. She did not even expect him to be so warm. He got back up, and spoke aloud.
" Someone there?! People are stuck in the elevator! Come on move!"
No one answered. Hermione sneezed loudly.
"If no one up or downstairs heard that, they are deaf."
She laughed, eyes reddish.
" And you meant that to be funny? You had more wit back in the day..."
He glared at her, which only made her smile wider. A strip of artificial sun appeared out of nowhere, shinning on her lips and eyes. They were a real piece of jewellery those two. Draco smirked to himself. Definitely his Hogwarts' self back there at the very end of his reason.
He went back in front of her.
Hermione looked distantly outside for a second, and noticed something that made her eyes open wide.
"Damn it! For fuck's sake! No way..." She got up. "Look!"
Turning to him, she shot him an urgent look.
"Don't be so damn stubborn." She had small laugh. He glared again. Not really.
Just for the sport. He went to her and saw it. Right there, in front of them: a Christmas light.
"Oh my...
- Yes.
- NO.
- Yes Malfoy. Don't act like a child please."
He kicked the back of the elevator.
" So much for that." The wizard did not answer. He started to put the heels of his hands on his eyes and mumbled. "The only day in the whole calendar when there is no one in here, I had to be there stuck in a bloody elevator with you. Figures." Out of context, he let out a desperate laugh.
" Well better make ourselves comfortable, because no one is coming on the very morning of the 25th Granger.
- STOP calling me that."
His eyebrows raised. He added quite playfully:
"Well then stop calling me Malfoy. You can call me your "pain in the ass" for today, how does that sound?
- ...Marvellous."
She went back at her place, and took off her coat and scarf. She retrieved a heavy book out of her handbag, and started reading.
"Oh, come on... Great, now I have to look at you while are reading. Just hope that you have some food in there, because we're going to run low on patience if no one can either eat nor yell at someone else." She did not raise her eyes while answering
"First: I don't care. Second: I don't care AND what makes you think I would share any of it with you?"
Draco was really coming shorthanded on this. She had a handbag full of mysteries including distraction and she was not really willing to share. At least as much as he was willing to beg, which were very low odds.
"Hermione." The name sounded strange in his mouth. Never before had he spoken it aloud.
"Please. At least you could let me read with you."
She coughed. "What? Because you know how to read?
- Who's childish now?"
Hermione looked at him sideways. Going back to her book, she could not focus. First, there was him calling her by her name which for the record she did not like at all. Secondly, he was staring at her without any shame and it made her very uncomfortable.
"FINE!" She slammed the book.
" What do you want?"
Draco pretended to think about it for a moment, exaggeratedly putting his hand underneath his chin, and watching the very decorated roof of the engine. She watched him with caution. Draco had never really lost that altier look, and it all came back to him now.
" Not silence. But not a conversation."
She raised her hands in the air.
"What are you asking? You want to have company but with none of the inconveniences. Listen, it's not how it works you cannot just cut out the right parts and leave the bad behind...
It's...
- Unfair and selfish? Yeah, heard that somewhere before."
Draco closed himself. Not that it mattered. But still. Hermione was going crazy.
" Come on. We are stuck here. Better make the best of what we have right?
- What do you suggest, smart-ass?"
She took deep breaths not to try and break his nose this time.
" I can. I don't know, talk to you about my job, and you tell me about yours?
- ... Really? What is there to know about my job that you don't already know? And what is really so mysterious about your job anyway?"
This time, Hermione took back her book, and dared him with a glance to break her attention from it.
" Stubborn smart-ass that you definitely are.
- Thank you. You're not so bad yourself on these two."
He tried not to care about her presence, but it was impossible.
Words were coming up to his mouth trying to leave, he could help it for now, but not much longer.
" Ok. So, your work is so interesting that it needs you in the office at 5'30 in the morning..." Her look was sore. Again. What has he done this time?!
" I bet you wouldn't care, but I am sleeping on my parents couch for the moment. I try to leave before they are awake, to not disturb their lives too much."
Bewildered, he caught a strange look on her face.
"You...Are not with Weasley anymore? How did that happen?"
Even though the questions seemed intrusive at best, he seemed genuinely interested, or curious at least.
" You didn't hear? It was all over the press." She had a bitter laugh, and bit her lip. "Rita Skeeter made a mess of it." She sighed." I... We did not agree on anything anymore. Ron... he slept at his parents for over a year...the children were missing him, but he'd tell them that it was not permanent, it was because of work business. He lied to them and to me. He told me he...He loved me when actually he only loved having me around to clean up his mess... When we stopped arguing, that's when I knew it was over... Nothing was obligating us to talk, except our children. Somehow, I don't miss him. But I do miss the feeling of having a home of my own."
Her face was dark. "Why am I even telling you this? Why would you care?"
He lied "I don't. But it feels better to tell a stranger about... this stuff. You don't know them, you won't see them again. It just fits a pattern. Believe me I know."
Hermione frowned, placing a hand in her book to catch the falling pages.
Raising her eyes to meet his. Finally.
"Hum... My wife and I we are having a bad time...Well more like a bad relationship." He bit hardly his lips, looking away. "My back is sore because I sleep on the couch, and leave early in the morning. I don't have to see her like that. We stopped talking a long time ago. But we'd miss the company so we stay together. Also for the kid, we don't want him to grow up broken just like we did." His eyes were empty. She knew that look all too well.
" Why am I telling you this again? Oh, yeah, because after this " He showed around " We'll never see each other again."
Hermione bent her head down. She pretended to read, but was integrating what he was saying.
" Scorpius, is it?
- What?
- The name of your son. It is Scorpius, right?"
Draco nodded. She smiled a little.
" It's fitting." He raised his brows. " How is that fitting?"
"Draco." His name was a strange word to speak. A language she did not knew she wanted to discover. Curiosity, the first flaw she had ever shown, which was probably going to be the end of her.
"Draco is the Latin word for 'dragon'. Scorpius is the Latin word for "Scorpio". Both are very fierce and fiery. As father as son, right?"
The old Sliytherin had never thought about it. It was fitting indeed.
The sound of silence was obliterating his thoughts.
" And you? What are the names of your children?
- Rose and Hugo.
- Very French.
- I know."
Somehow the both had a small laugh at the same time. They locked eyes for a few seconds. Suddenly the engine fell a few stairs.
The lights were out. "Hermione? You there?" Worried. Was he worried? Not at all. Frightened? Nope. Ok. Maybe a little bit of both. Nothing more.
"Yes" Her voice was a failing string.
The lights went back. Draco was down on his knees and hands, searching for his wand which was in fact in his inner pocket. He reached for it, when he saw her. Their stuff was obviously scattered across the place. Luckily none of them had done any damage, but she had the worst of it.
"A little bit of help would be nice." She pulled herself up.
Just enough for him to see her slowly swelling ankle.
" Seriously? How did you even do that?
- Just like you did with yours.
- What do you...?"
She pointed at his left wrist covered in blood. He had cut his forearm on the way down.
" What the hell ...?"
Draco approached slowly, and using his wand, repaired the ankle, rapidly.
Hermione exhaled a breath of pain. The quick wind made a few strands of his hair move. He put them behind his ear. A slight warmth was diffusing in his arm. He thanked every deity he knew of.
" Thank you" Both said. "It's fine." "You're welcome."
She had an amused look. " What is so funny?"
"Nothing." She raised her shoulders.
" Don't tell me nothing when you have that look on your face."
He tried not use his injured arm, and sat down next to her. On her right. Where her injured ankle was.
" What look? The one when I am mocking you or the one I will give you if you keep pushing the matter?
- Both."
She retrieved.
"You're a pain in the ass, that I agree.
- Wow, you swore. Aloud. How naughty you are Gra...Hermione."
He hid behind a poker face. It did not last long, because she laughed at him again.
"Ok. If it's what it takes for you to shut up, I'll tell you.
- Finally! The great mystery revealed to a mere mortal like me. What is Hermione Granger hiding?
- I told you nothing." He exhaled, almost angry. It's just..."
She started fumbling with her fingers. "It's funny that...we had to be stuck here for us to actually talk. About things. Important things."
Draco straightened up. "Maybe because it is more comfortable to talk with someone you hate about things that you hate, than to that about it with someone you love...
-I never thought I'd say that but you're probably right."
He put a sad face on. "So, you still hate me? That's it? I poured my heart to you and you still hate me?" Hermione was lost this time.
" No, no absolutely not, I don't hate you now, I hated you but I don't hate you as in I hate you, it's more like I don't really like you for instance, It's not that bad really..."
He interrupted her, pushing himself to her ear: "I am messing with you".
"What ?!" She shoved him.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?
- Revenge."
Draco threw her a blasé look.
" Want to see what revenge is like?
- Err... No. I am too old for that.
- Revenge never gets old, darling."
Draco had meant it to be playful, but when the word 'darling' left his lips, he knew that it went too far. His eleven-year-old self was going to do the talking if he did not stop. So, he shut up.
" What did you just call me?" Hermione seemed seriously pissed. Like my children threw a tantrum in the house pissed.
" I did not call you anything, I was just...
- Darling, was it? Why not doll next time?
- Really, you are mad because of that? If you knew, you would be more than just bloody angry right now..."
Their eyes went wide at the same time, and they separated a little bit on each side.
" It doesn't mean anything...
- Usually when someone says that, it is because it means something Draco.
- But...
- I don't care."
Hermione was angry this time. Very angry. Because he was referring to something she had no curiosity of finding out. Not that she would never admit that to herself. To herself she was pissed because he had no right to call her darling and get away with it that easily. A few words changed her mind.
His hands were on his thighs when his knees were up to his face, his feet on the cold floor. He knew he would never get another chance to tell her. So, he just did. Without any thoughts, or any responsibility. He was his Hogwarts self all over again.
"I had a thing for you. Back in the day."
Hermione's eyes went wide, and her mouth was agape.
" I wanted your attention. But did not wanted you, because my family, the whole Death Eater thing... And I sincerely thought you were beneath me because of your Muggle's origins. I thought it would never work. And obviously, it never did, because I always made my choices to have your eyes on me, not your heart.
Never your heart. It would have broken me to pieces, and you with it eventually."
When Draco was finished, Hermione was up on her feet faster than you can say it. She had a hand to her face, not quite believing what he had just told her.
He was relieved, and infinitely tired.
" What? What are you...? All this time you had...feelings for me? The insults, the mockery, the bullying, it was all because you were not willing to give up your little self-esteem problem..."
That's when he snapped. He rose.
" I was trying to protect you.
- No, you were not, you were trying to protect yourself! From deception or whatever your mind invented!
- No. It's not true and you know it.
- Draco, stop trying to find excuses. You... You thought you were protecting me, when really you just did not want to hurt yourself, and to fight against your family to get what - who - you wanted."
He was so angry right now. And hurt. But mostly angry. He put his hair back.
" Why does it matter so much to you?
- It doesn't!
- Yes, it does! You're reacting like a child Hermione!
- WHY on Earth, would I care about that? It's gone Draco, we cannot go back!
- I know!
- Then why did you tell me?!
- I don't want to know. "
Her breath stopped.
" What?"
He couldn't look at her. But he spoke anyway. Let his feelings die a glorious death was the least he could do.
" I don't want to know. I...am afraid that..." Draco took a deep breath holding on to what he could. " I was afraid that my feelings would come back, if I ever spoke of them."
Hermione could not get a hold of anything and fell to the ground.
He thought he saw her eyes glitter.
" How did this even happen? How did you kept this all those years?
- I didn't.
She shot him a strange look.
"What?
- I didn't kept it for me. Well I did, but some of my friends were aware. Blaise Zabini for example. Always a good friend, even when I wasn't. "
Before she could pronounce another word he added " I kept them, but it did not stop the feelings from being there. I nurtured them for all the seven years in Hogwarts. And now that I have... Now that they are out, I don't know anymore..." He started crying without even realizing. "I don't know if I don't want to care about you, to be with you, to forget you..."
Hermione was not looking at him. She murmured
"Why would you?
- What do you even mean here?
- Why would you..." The witch took a very long breath. "Not care or not ... be with me?"
They locked eyes through the tears. It was all very clumsy this world, so rough and yet so fragile.
" But, why would you then, Granger?" He was trying to lock her out.
" I would because I care for you Malfoy. At least I did a long time ago."
Hermione put all her strength in straightening her back and looking him in the eyes. She rose, and simply stated " I had a small crush on you. Right before you opened your mouth for the first time."
From his lips escaped a laugh.
" Then I had to shut it down. Entirely. You were so cruel. And yet, I caught some sights of you that were strange... When you were with your parents, you seemed so at peace, and with your friends... Not all of them, but I heard Pansy and you breaking up. You were even willing to set her up with anyone she chose to help her move on. You were there when Blaise broke in tears after failing on his potions, and promising to touch a word to Snape about it. Which I have a feeling, you did eventually.
Those were just small moments, but it completed the picture I had of you with such odd things... I had to know what you were made of. And I did found out. But I fell for you harder than I ever should have. So, when Ron, Harry and I left Hogwarts, it was time for me to move on. I let Ron flirt with me, and it was good to have someone's attention and unconditional love, when I thought I'd never get that from anyone. So, I let myself fell for it. Because it was easy and comfortable. Not like this."
She gestured between the both of them.
"It broke me anyway. You, telling me now, is just...It's insane. It's breaking me all over again."
She tried to remain still, but her hands were shaking at her sides when he approached. Resting his forehead against her, she started to cry.
" Hey." He said softly, trying to touch her cheeks without startling her. Seeing his agitation, she just reached for his hand and put it in the crook of her neck, settling it down. Her brown eyes were so jittery. He never saw anything like it before.
"It's okay. Everything is so complicated nowadays. It just has to stay between us. In this elevator. For anytime. Our imagination our fantasy. No one can touch that."
He felt her nod. Draco was grateful, still trying to keep his feet on Earth when his head was flying way above.
Hermione moved her head, and considered his eyes. They were ecstatic with joy. She took his hand again and used it to steady herself, placing it on her hip. On the tip of her toe she faintly touched his lips with hers. Within a second, she had his hand in his hair. Kissing him violently, biting down on his lips. Moaning would be a good word to describe the sounds they made. She wrapped her legs around him, while he was settling her thighs in his hands. He pulled up her skirt a few inches, and she put his hand way up. More than he would have on his own.
When they separated for air, lips red and faces flushed, her eyes were filled with lust, and his with desires.
They both fell to the ground in the entanglement of clothes and belongings, never ending on the floor.
It was three 'o'clock when someone finally showed up, alerted by people trying to get in. The elevator was put in motion again, and when the doors opened, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy were only arriving to work, along a few others.
Arriving in his office, he found her scarf with his coat. Her perfume still lingering on it. It smelled like vanilla. Very subtle yet unforgettable. He then realised that his tissue was in her possession. A flying note entered his office in a hurry.
It said "My scarf against your tissue? Washed of course. Tomorrow morning, The Elevator."
He knew that somewhere in his brain, a teenager was dancing and screaming, when his adult body asked him if he could handle another round. He also knew, that somewhere in the building there was a Granger witch, smiling to no end about the bloody elevator.