Disclaimer--Stephanie Meyer owns all characters. The concept is owned by AnimeChick4DDR

A/N This was just a little something I got inspired to do by a comic I found on Deviant Art; 'Emmett Spills the Beans' by AnimeChick4DDR. And I got really bored, so I decided to do a little sumin-sumin with it. So, enjoy!! (Oh and this is by Alyss)

Emmett Spills the Beans

By Alyss

Renesmee's POV

It was another Christmas at the Cullen household. I was now way over a hundred years old, yet still stuck in my beautiful 17-year-old body. Jake was sitting next to me, in front of the fire Auntie Rose had started to keep my warm. As if my boyfriend wasn't enough. Even though Jake and I had been married several times (Rosalie insisted on it every few years) we were starting over as Juniors, so I got back in the habit of calling him 'like, my totally awesome bf!'

Momma and Daddy were cuddling on the couch. I gagged inwardly. After the first fifty years, they tended to forget that they were my parents and instead indulged in very un-parent like behavior in front of me. It was okay; I did the same things they did together with Jacob, just to get on their nerves, especially Daddy. He still had some weird grudge against Jake even though he was technically their son

"Who's ready for our annual Christmas story time?" Alice asked excitedly. Everyone groaned. Aunt Alice was first and foremost my best friend, but she still really got on my nerves, everyone's really, especially when she insisted on the annual telling of the same stories we'd heard for the past century.

"Alice, darlin'…" Jasper warned at the influx of anger in the room, most of it coming from her, who was boiling over at not being automatically agreed with. Jasper, however, was finally coming out of his emo thing. Since we had lived in the south for a while, he had gotten particularly excited, especially when we went to visit some of the old Civil War exhibits. He loved pointing out everything that was wrong with it. Since then, his enthusiasm just stuck.

"Come on everyone!" Alice shouted, practically vibrating while trying to convince the rest of us. Emmett boomed with laughter at her.

"Only if I get to tell my super special story…" He said raucously. Daddy looked at him with a look of concentration, then confusion. Everyone, Emmett included, had been working on keeping their thoughts in check…or at least blocking them from Edward. Something Jake still hadn't (unfortunately) mastered.

Alice's face broke into a grin as she searched through the future. "I don't know Emmett…" But it was obvious she was looking forward to it.

"Okay…Well, I guess I'll start." Gramma Esme muttered. I pressed my hand to Jake's cheek inconspicuously as Esme started talking about how she had met Carlisle, a story we had all heard a dozen times.

What's Uncle Em talking about? I showed my question to Jacob, but he just shook his head slightly. I had a nagging feeling that he knew what was going on, though.

"And we've been together ever since." I swear, everyone loved Esme, but if they could, a majority of everyone would be asleep. Except for Papa Carlisle, who was staring at her with soft love in his eyes. It really was sweet.

"Bella?" I asked Momma quietly. I tried to get in the habit of calling her 'Bella' out loud so I wouldn't slip up at school. People would think the Cullens were even weirder if I did.

"Yes, Ren?" She asked, distracted as Daddy kissed her chin.

"Tell us how you and Edward met?" I used the same method with Daddy. I had messed up and called him 'Daddy' at school once in front of everyone…we had to pretend we were going out for a while there so it wouldn't look so weird…just, like that we had a dominating sex life or something. That was the single most awkward week of my life.

"You know that story better than I do by now," Momma frowned at me. I grinned back. It was still a very nice story.

"I know, but I love it!"

"No one else wants to hear it," Auntie Rose said sharply. Her and Momma still weren't exactly friends yet, but from what I hear are closer than they used to be.

"Hey, Blondie, lay off," Jacob growled. I touched his cheek gently to settle him down.

"If no one else is, I'm going!" Emmett shouted. I looked at him, my curiosity spiked. Jake moved uneasily, as if he were anticipating something bad.

Edward's POV

What's he going to say? My beautiful wife, my Bella, asked me. I loved getting just a glance into her head; it was my favorite part about her gift.

But Emmett's story announcement was making me nervous. I probed the air around him, trying to pick up where he was going, but wasn't about to. Every time I got into his head, all I heard were thoughts about him and Rosalie last night…as soon as I heard them, I veered onto Alice. I knew she knew. But she was reciting the periodic table, backwards, in her head.

How frustrating.

Bella asked me again, a slight edge to the tenor of her thoughts. I shrugged, enough to look like I was only readjusting out of habit. But she knew.

You don't think he would… I shook my head at Bella. Emmett wasn't that mean…I hoped.

Renesmee and the mutt, my unfortunate son-in-law were cuddled against the wall next to our fireplace. We were back in Forks, much to Rosalie and Alice's chagrin. They were getting into being in the bigger cities; more shopping. I, however, preferred the isolation our very old house gave us.

"As you all remember, I had a child. His name was Jonathon." Esme was telling her story again. I love her dearly, as she is my mother in most senses, but the depressing beginning of the story wears on one. I was too busy wondering what Emmett was planning.

Edward, this is for your wife beating me at arm wrestling a hundred years ago… Finally, a thought from Emmett. And not a very reassuring one. My grip on Bella grew until she coughed slightly to show her discomfort. I snuck a glance over at Emmett. His arm was around Rosalie, his fingers toying with her hair. He was staring right at me, grinning widely.

Don't worry, Edward. It was Alice. She was holding hands with Jasper in front of our huge back window, both of them staring out as Esme told her and Carlisle's story. She glanced back, enough for me to see the mischief in her honey eyes.

Settle down, brother. I felt a wave of calm wash over me, but shook it angrily away. I didn't need Jasper's influence clouding my thoughts.

What's Uncle Em talking about? I looked over at my daughter, who was looking at Jacob with a crease in between her eyebrows. I wish I could tell her nothing was wrong, nothing was going to happen. But, honestly…I didn't know.

And that worried me even more.

Finally, Esme was finished with her story. The statues in the room unfroze, moving around a bit. Even after years with us, Nessie and Jake still got a bit uneasy when we all stayed too still for too long.

"Bella?" My daughter asked.

"Yes, Ren?" Bella was so tired of the nickname 'Nessie' she finally came around to getting another one for Renesmee. Personally, I liked this one more.

"Tell us how you and Edward met?" It was still odd to hear her call me 'Edward'. I heard 'Daddy' in her head, but since the school incident…I shuddered inwardly just thinking about it.

"You know the story better than I do by now," Bella said softly. In her head, she was dragging up all the images she could still remember, lingering delicately on our honeymoon on Isle Esme.

"I know, but I love it!" Renesmee probably wouldn't love it so much if we didn't skip over some of the details…

"No one else wants to hear it," Rosalie hissed. I glared over at her, but she just glared back. Everyone knew of her distaste of bringing up everything bad that almost happened to us when Bella was still…alive, technically.

"Hey, Blondie, lay off," Jacob growled, his form wavering. After all these years, he still wasn't very good with keeping his temper in check.

Emmett started to get up. "If no one else is…I'm going!" He boomed, going to stand in the middle of our spacious living room. Oh no.

"Nessie?" He said, turning to her and Jacob, who were still cuddled up on the floor.

"Yes…?" She asked warily.

"Did you ever hear about your mom's past romances?" Bella stiffened. Renesmee's interest peaked. Jacob's heart sped up.

"What do you mean?" He wouldn't dare.

Alice was staring on with obvious amusement, as was Rosalie. Esme looked concerned, Carlisle torn between amusement and apprehension. Bella was, like myself, starting to feel anger. Jasper was by far the most conflicted with all the different emotions in the room.

"You mean they never told you about…" I tackled him before he could finish, but he whipped me off, sending me crashing through the glass wall. Esme shrieked angrily. She'd just replaced it.

"They never told you that your boyfriend totally made out with your mom and kept her nice and warm under the covers, if you know what I mean?" Even from my vantage point, I could hear Emmett's words, and his vociferous laughter was loud enough to hear from miles around. I jumped back into the window just in time to see Bella pouncing on him. They wrestled for a brief moment before Emmett pinned her beneath him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, EMMETT???" Bella asked from under Emmett.

"Wait, it gets better!" Renesmee was looking on in horror, and Jacob was positively pulsating.

Emmett wasn't guarding his thoughts very well, so I heard what he was going to say next, quite clearly. "DON'T YOU DARE!" I shouted, throwing myself at him. Alice was clutching her sides in laughter, while even Jasper was fighting a grin.

"YOUR DAD OFFERED TO LET JAKE SLEEP WITH YOUR MOM!!!" He shouted a second before I plowed into him. Renesmee's eyes widened even larger and her mouth formed a perfectly formed 'o'. Jacob was to the point of phasing and beet red. And now Bella was joining in on beating Emmett, who was laughing heartily through the punches we hit him with.

****

Emmett's POV

"And that's the year the greatest story of all time was told," I laughed. Edward and Bella were glaring. They hated hearing the story of how their 'little mistakes' had been put out in the open. That was thirty-two years ago, and I still get a kick out of it.

I crack myself up.

A/N Not the greatest writing in the world, but I was bored and had inspiration. Again, pretty much the entire story line goes to the comic by AnimeChick4DDR. ROCK ON! Oh, yeah, Review!!!