Ocard Yoflam
By Sempiternus
Summary: One-shot. Post-battle, pre-epilogue. Draco and Hermoine. He was trying to make amends, he really was.
Author's Note: This is what comes out when I try to write a romance for my favorite HP couple . . . not exactly what I had in mind. But the first line had been in my head for a while, so I guess it's not completely unexpected. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not, nor do an any way claim, any rights regarding the Harry Potter series, and will not be making even one cent off of this publication.
Trèo cao, té nặng
"The higher you climb, the greater you fall."
—Vietnamese proverb
"You watched me be tortured."
It took merely a second to say those words, but already they were shooting like daggers into his chest and making a permanent home near his most vital organ.
"I watched you watch me be overcome by Bellatrix's Crutiatis Curse. You wouldn't look directly at me, but I watched you the entire time."
He had no way to counter these attacks. No witty comeback where he would just tell her "filthy mudblood got what she deserved" and be on his merry way. He couldn't do that anymore.
"I only helped save you during The Battle" — a capitalized event now; it was not just "a battle," it was "The Battle" — "because Harry would've insisted. I would've been content to let you burn, I really think I would've. Let you burn like you let me scream in pain while you just watched."
This was the first time he'd even gotten her to speak one word to him since The Battle. It hadn't been for lack of trying — all he'd asked for was a little acknowledgment from her, really. He was trying to make amends, he really was. But he never would've asked for this — not this hurt, this everlasting, deeper-than-bone regret he knew would now never let him alone — but he knew — he knew — he deserved.
So, he let her continue to throw daggers at his already bruised soul, let her glare at him with eyes that looked liked ice glaciers in a sea of green. He let her — he needed her — to make him feel these stabs. Because after The Battle, he didn't know what he was supposed to feel anymore, what he was supposed to do. All he'd ever known had been uprooted and thrown in his face, and he was left almost-drowning in a sea he had no idea how to navigate.
And so he continued to bleed out before her, sitting and watching her throw the daggers of remorse into his already shattered heart.
"You just watched, Draco Malfoy. And I will never forgive you for that."
He had nothing left to say.
Completed 15 February 2010