"MOBY
DUCK"
(with apologies to Robert McKimson, David DePatie
and Friz Freleng)
(not affiliated with Warner Bros.)
After
the opening credits, the scene fades up on a large wooden sailing
ship at sea. It's manned by a collection of generic animal
cartoon characters (none of them are recognizable as being
characters from any studio in particular). A rather large bear
precariously perched in the crow's nest scans the horizon with a
spyglass. He catches sight of a large black hump moving through
the water toward the ship. "Thar she blows!" shouts the
bear to the crew below. The captain, a cartoon wolf, begins
barking (sorry) commands to the crew. "Hard astern! Hard
astern!" he orders as the pilot, a large muscular hare,
throws his weight against the ship's wheel. Other crewmen climb
the rigging to move the sails. The huge hump comes closer and
closer and rises from the water to become the Scourge of the
Seven Seas, the feared destroyer of ships, Moby Duck (who happens
to look a lot like Daffy Duck, except he's as big as a battleship).
With an evil laugh, he picks the ship up and breaks it in half
across his knee, dumping the crew into the drink. He hurls one
half of the ship over his shoulder, followed by the other half.
The two ship halves sail through the air and land on a small
island inside a fence that encircles part of the island. A sign
over the gate reads "MOBY DUCK et Cie. Purveyors of Fine
Driftwood and Salvage". Inside the guard shack at the gate,
the Tasmanian Devil (normal sized), wearing a horizontal-striped
shirt, a dark blue pea coat and a woolen watch cap is leaning
back in a chair and reading a newspaper called "Ye Shipping
Tymes". As the 2 ship halves come to rest, the Devil heaves
a sigh, puts down his newspaper and picks up a clipboard marked
"INVENTORY". He sidles out to the newly arrived
wreckage.
Back at sea, Moby Duck is seeking out his
next victim. He hears the voice of a whaling ship's captain and
ducks behind a sea cliff. The ship sails past his hiding place
and we see that the captain is Capt. (Yosemite) Sam Ahab. His
crew is made up of all manner of Looney Tunes characters.
"Men" he begins. "I can't
ask ya to do anything I wouldn't do myself so if any of you wants
to leave now, no one's going to accuse you of being chicken."
Foghorn Leghorn, standing between Bugs Bunny and Pepe le Pew,
looks to his left and right, shrugs and starts walking toward the
gang plank where a small rowboat is waiting. As he passes Capt.
Ahab, he's followed by Henery Hawk. Capt. Ahab stops Henery.
"Where do ya think yer goin'?"
demands the captain. "I'm a chicken hawk! Get it? A
'chicken' hawk!". Capt. Ahab kicks him hard enough to send
him flying into the rigging.
"Now, men" continues the
captain. "Keep a weather eye peeled. We're huntin' the most
feared creature to ever rise out of Davy Jones's Locker."
Moby Duck begins to bask in the flattery. "That Scourge of
the Seven Seas, the very Devil himself!" Moby Duck's chest
swells with pride as he awaits the payback. "We're goin'
after the Great White Whale, Moby Dick!" The crew reacts
with a startled gasp. Moby Duck reacts by deflating into a
cumpled heap, then regains his composure. He paddles around in
front of Capt. Sam's ship. He stops the ship's forward movement
by putting his hand against the bow.
"Now just a minute!" he
says "I'M the Scourge of the Seven Seas!" Capt. Ahab
breaks into haughty laughter. "You!? I've eaten guys like
you for dinner in Peking!"
Moby Duck borders on a tantrum
"But I AM the SCOURGE OF THE SEVEN SEAS!! I AM!! I AM! I AM!"
"Outta my way, duck, before I
stuff pillows with yer feathers and feed your carcass to my crew!"
says Ahab.
The scene changes to a shot looking
toward the stern of the ship from the bow. The crewmen pop their
heads into the shot and say in unison "Mmmmm. . .duck. .
." a la Homer Simpson (complete with a small trail of drool
at the corners of their mouths).
"But I can prove I'M really
the Scourge of the Seven Seas! Really, I can!" pleads Moby
Duck.
"I ain't got time for this!"
Ahab retorts. Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote man the harpoon gun.
They fire the harpoon toward Moby Duck but instead of jabbing
him, the harpoon travels like a guided missile, hog-tying Moby
Duck's arms to his side. The rest of the crew gather on both
sides of the harpoon line. With a single jerk of the line, Moby
Duck is hauled into a catapult on the deck of the ship. Capt.
Ahab draws a dagger and cuts the rope, flinging Moby Duck through
the air. He sails over the guard shack at the gate of "MOBY
DUCK et Cie. Purveyors of Fine Driftwood and Salvage." Once
more, the Tasmanian Devil picks up his clipboard and ambles out
to inventory the new arrival. He stands near Moby Duck's head and
begins scratching his own head. Moby Duck, in a slow simmer, says
"Oh, knock it off."
Back at sea, we find the crew of
the whaling ship on the lookout for Moby Dick. "Thar she
blows!!" shouts Henery Hawk, who is tied to the mast just
above the crow's nest. The crew scrambles to their stations as
the huge white whale arcs through the water and bears down on the
ship. With a final bound, Moby Dick launches himself into the
air, ready to crash down on Ahab's ship when Moby Duck bursts to
the surface with one hand raised in front of him. "Just a
minute, Buster!" he says as Moby Dick, with a look of
surprise, stops in midair an inch or 2 away from Moby Duck's hand.
Gravity kicks in and Moby Dick belly flops into the water with an
"Oomph!" Recovering, he demands "What's the big
idea?"
"Listen, Buster, I'M working
THIS side of the Equator!" says Moby Duck. Moby Dick breaks
into derisive laughter.
"YOU!? They press guys like
you in finer French restaurants!" says Moby Dick.
Once more, Ahab's crew reacts to
the prospect of a pressed duck dinner.
"All right, all right, enough
already!" says Moby Duck.
"Look, fellas," says Ahab.
"I got a contract to wipe out the Scourge of the Seven Seas,
so which one of you wants to own up?" Moby Dick moves around
in front of Moby Duck and says "That would be me, Mon
Capitain" with a slight bow. Pepe le Pew yanks the firing
cord on a cannon and the blast blackens Moby Dick from head to
tailfin. Dazed, he sinks into the sea.
"One Scourge down, one to go!"
says Ahab as Sylvester and Tweety swing the cannon in Moby Duck's
direction. Moby Duck turns tail and paddles away, kicking up a
huge wake. He seeks refuge behind a sea cliff. Standing in the
knee-deep water and bracing his back against the cliff, he pants
and tries to catch his breath. When he stops panting for a
moment, one can still hear the sound of someone else panting. The
camera pulls back to reveal Moby Dick standing next to Moby Duck.
Moby Dick speaks between gasps.
"Ya think (gasp) he's still (gasp)
out there?" Moby Duck pokes his head around the cliff and
comes back with a harpoon stuck in his beak.
"Does this answer your
question?" says Moby Duck. A cannon blast narrowly misses
both of their heads. A wider shot shows Ahab's ship between them.
They both head back out to the sea. We see a small island. The
island rises out of the water strapped to Moby Duck's head as
Ahab's ship sails by. The cannon is pointed straight at Moby Duck.
"No, no!" he shouts as he reaches over and grabs a palm
tree on an adjacent island. He pulls up on the palm, revealing
Moby Dick below. "HE'S the Scourge of the Seven Seas!"
"HE is!" says Moby Dick as they both dodge another
salvo from the ship. They both swim away.
A series of similar encounters
follow as both Moby Dick and Moby Duck now try to convince Ahab
that the OTHER is the Scourge of the Seven Seas. Eventually, Moby
Duck meets up with Moby Dick who is now wearing a watch cap, a
horizontal striped shirt and a pea coat.
"What are YOU dressed up for,
Halloween?" asks Moby Duck. A wider shot shows that Moby
Dick is standing on his tail fin on the deck of Capt. Ahab's ship.
Moby Dick shakes his head. "If
you can't beat 'em, join 'em" he says, raising a harpoon
over his head. Pointing at Moby Duck, he yells "Thar she
blows!" as the ship, tilting slight toward the bow under
Moby Dick's weight, takes of after Moby Duck. Moby Duck leads the
chase toward the setting sun and over the horizon. Iris out.
"That's all Folks!"
Looney Tunes Larger Than Life!