FF8-Who's Line Is It Anyway?
Cid: Hello. I'm Cid Kramer, and welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway?, the show where our contestants play for nothing more than their dignity, I suppose. Today, we have everyone's favorite hero, Squall Leonhart. Also, we have the hot dog slave, Zell Dincht. Also, with us today is the super-hyperactive Selphie Tilmitt. And finally, he's the guy you love to hate, Seifer Almasy. (Applause.) All right, let's start off with a game called World's Worst, which is for all four contestants. (They go to the World's Worst step.) All right, and you'll have to come up with examples of the world's worst GF's. Just step forward when you come up with one. Take it away whenever you're ready.
Squall: Hey, what do you mean I'm the GF?
Selphie: We're going on strike!
Zell: Sorry, pal, I'm on vacation.
Seifer: Before I do any further junctioning with you, we need to review our contract.
Selphie: Whoops! You're not the bad guys!
Seifer: Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Squall: I've decided to go on my own!
Zell: (Drunkenly) Sorry, dude, I got wasted last night!
Selphie: I've decided to fight the enemy, not by using magic, but through dance!
Seifer: Umm, what was I supposed to do again?
Squall: Hey, check out my new ability: Pikachu, I choose you!
Selphie: Yeehaw! I'm yer new GF, Slick!
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: All right, thank you. That was quite entertaining, but I not going to give out any points for that one because my pen stopped working. (Laughter) Ok, now we'll move on to a game called Film and Theatre Styles, and it's for Zell and Seifer. Before we begin, I need some suggestions from the audience. (The audience shouts out suggestions.)
Ok…Final Fantasy 7…Sailor Moon…Ballet…(Seifer laughs)…Metal Gear Solid…Pokemon…Gundam Wing…and Riverdance?! Well, let's see…Ok, your scene is the two of you are in Ultimecia's Castle, and are preparing to fight one of her servants. Take away…
Zell: Oh, man, we gotta get rid of another one?!
Seifer: Yeah, but it's the last one, Tiamat!
Zell: Oh, heck he's easy! No problem!
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: All right, Final Fantasy 7.
Seifer: It won't be a problem thanks to my zillions of Materia!
Zell: Yeah, but do you have enough MP?
Seifer: Oh, crap! I forgot about that! Hey do you have a zillion gil I can borrow?
Zell: What for?
Seifer: So I can buy one of those elixir thingys that are impossible to afford!
(Cid sounds buzzer.)
Cid: Sailor Moon.
Zell: I'm afraid I can't give you a zillion gil, but I can give you this rose!
Seifer: (Sailor Moon-like) Oh, Tuxedo Mask! But what good with that do?
Zell: Nothing. You always kill the monster and take credit for the whole thing anyway!
(Cid sounds buzzer)
Cid: Ballet.
Seifer and Zell stand there for a second, trying to come up with something. Finally, Zell does a sloppy pirouette, followed by Seifer. Seifer tries to pick up Zell, but promptly drops him. They leap around for a few moments, until Cid sounds the buzzer.
Cid: Metal Gear Solid.
Seifer: What's the matter Snake? Can't fight me?
Zell: No way!
The two act out the fight scene atop MG Rex. Seifer acts like he was knocked of the top.
Seifer: SSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA( Takes a breath) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(Cid sounds the buzzer)KKKKKKKKKEEEEEE!
Cid: Hee. Ok Pokemon.
Zell: Oh, no! He's not dead yet! Pikachu take care of him!
Seifer: Ha, Ha! That Pikachu is no match for my Charmander! Go!
Zell: Gosh, this bites! We don't anything but watch!
Seifer: Yeah. Zzzz.
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: All right: Gundam Wing.
Seifer: But that how true battles are fought!
Zell: But that's wrong!
Seifer: Is it now? Well let's duel in our Gundams for the zillionth time!
Zell: Ok.
(Cid sounds the buzzer.)
Cid: Riverdance.
Suddenly Zell explodes in a frenzy of tap dance moves, mesmerizing everyone, including Seifer.
Zell: Hey, blame the Garden Festival.
Cid: Ok, ok! (Laughs) That's all, thank you. I'll give you both fifty points because I feel like it. Hmm, let's see. Now, on to a game called Questions Only, which is for all four contestants. In this game, you can only speak in questions, and I'll buzz you if you mess up. The Scene you're doing is you're all taking part in your SeeD field exam, and Zell and Selphie are up first.
Selphie: Are you ready yet?
Zell: Ready for what?
Selphie: Don't you know?
Zell: Well, I…oh, crap. (Steps back, replaced by Squall)
Selphie: Where did he go?
Squall: How should I know?
Selphie: Aren't you the Captain?
Squall: Are you serious?
Selphie: I..I..(Laughs and steps back, replaced by Seifer)
Squall: Where have you been?
Seifer: Why do you ask?
Squall: Aren't I the Captain?
Seifer: Shouldn't you know?
Squall: Am I supposed to?
Seifer: Well, I don't…damn…(Steps back, replaced be Selphie.)
Squall: Where did you go?
Selphie: Is it any of your business?
Squall: I…crap…
(Cid sounds the buzzer)
Cid: Ok, ok. Thank you all. Now let's move on to a game called Hoe-down. This is for all four contestants, and you all have to make up a song about something on the spot, with the help of Quistis Trepe on the piano. Ok, what are they going to sing about? (Listens to some suggestions.) Playing in the Training Center…All right, you four that's what you have to come up with.
(Quistis plays the Hoe-Down music.)
Squall: I love the Training Center;
I go there every day.
Whether it's to kill some things
Or just to sing and play.
I love everything there
There's nothing that I hate;
Except for one thing because
I'm not there today!
Zell: When I want to kill something
There's just one place to go.
That's the Training Center,
Where I'm like a hero.
I can find all kinds of things
That I want to hit.
But that doesn't mean a thing
When I am just too slow!
Selphie: The big Training Center
can be lot's of fun;
There's no place like it
Not a single one;
When I want to run and play,
This is where I go;
Except when a T-Rexuar comes
That means I am done!
Seifer: I like to slice and dice
Kill all sorts of things
I don't care if it crawls
Or runs or swings.
It's all the same to me
Either way it goes,
I just don't like the
Crap they all sling!
Selphie, Squall, Zell, and Seifer: The crap they all sling!
Cid: Thank you all of you! That's all the time we have today! So for Selphie, Zell, Squall, and Seifer, this is Cid Kramer saying Goodnight. Goodnight!