"GULLIBLE'S TRAVELS"
by Joe
Ekaitis
(not affiliated with Warner Bros.)
We
first see a small white trapezoid on a black background. The Road
Runner pokes his head into the trapezoid, emits a "Beep!
Beep!" and runs toward the viewer as the camera pulls back.
The trapezoid is actually the bottom of a large stone letter A,
part of a collection of large stone letters that spell the words
"THE ROAD RUNNER". He pauses a moment in front of the
letters as his species name (micro-birdy macro-velocitus) appears
briefly. He zooms out of the frame as a huge brown foot stomps on
the stone letters "THE ROAD". Another giant brown foot
smashes the word "RUNNER" into dust. The camera tilts
up to reveal that the giant feet belong to a 100 foot tall Wile E.
Coyote, who is holding a tiny sign that says "and the Coyote"
(species: appetitus gargantuous). A small airplane tows a banner
with the words "in 'GULLIBLE'S TRAVELS'" past the giant
Coyote's face. The banner comes loose and wraps itself around the
giant Coyote's head like a blindfold, causing him to stumble and
fall. The rest of the opening credits appear on the resulting
dust cloud. The scene then fades to black.
We then fade up on a shot of
a small black hill at sunrise. A silhouetted rooster jumps on the
hill and welcomes the dawn. The hill starts to tremble and shake.
In a much wider shot, we see that the hill is really the tip of
the giant Coyote's nose. The rooster jumps off as the giant
Coyote wakes up. He has been sleeping in a dry riverbed. A
railroad track runs down one side of the riverbed and a small
farm is on the other side. The giant Coyote gets to his feet and,
not quite awake, walks over to a waterfall, which pours into a
small lake at about the height as a bathroom sink would be to a
normal-sized person. He splashes some water on his face, then
reaches out of the frame. Not paying attention to what he's
doing, he lifts a railroad tanker car containing a load of "Looney
Tooth Toothpaste" off of a railroad siding. With his other
hand, he reaches toward a small stand of trees encircled by a
fence. The trees are growing at the same random angles as
toothbrushes standing in a glass. He yanks one of the trees out
of the ground and squeezes the tanker car, causing its welds to
burst and rivets to pop, gushing toothpaste in all directions. He
begins to brush his teeth with the tree, then snaps awake,
puzzled.
The giant Coyote looks around
himself, disoriented by the view. He leans over and looks at a
tiny cow behind a fence. The cow licks the end of his nose,
causing him to straighten up and wipe off his nose. The Coyote
spots a tiny sign next to a road. Dropping to his hands and
knees, he can just make out the sign, which reads "Welcome
to Lilliput Junction". As he rises to his knees and tries to
figure things
out, a tiny (by comparison) Road Runner shoots by on the railroad
tracks that run by the riverbed. Concluding that his new height,
about 100 feet in comparison to his surroundings, might be a
decided advantage, the giant Coyote leaps onto the railroad
tracks and chases the Road Runner.
The giant Coyote doesn't
notice that the railroad track has become a trestle over a deep
canyon, nor does he notice that the trestle abruptly enters a
tunnel in the side of a mountain. As the Road Runner runs into
the tunnel, the Coyote slams into the mountain and slides back
down onto the trestle with his arms and legs dangling over the
sides. A small spot of light appears between his eyes,
accompanied by the sound of an approaching train. The giant
Coyote wraps his arms and legs around the railroad tracks, closes
his eyes tightly and braces for impact. The tiny train speeds out
of the tunnel, rides up the giant Coyote's snout, over his head,
between his ears, down his back and off of his tail, resuming its
journey on the railroad track. Only after the sound of the train
fades completely does the Coyote deem it safe to open his eyes.
He blinks a couple times and sits upright on the railroad trestle.
He inspects himself for damage, and, satisfied that he's still in
one piece, carefully rises to his feet on the railroad trestle,
just as the Road Runner rockets out of the tunnel and knocks him
off of his feet. The Coyote falls onto the railroad trestle,
causing it to collapse in the middle. He grabs the remains of the
trestle in an effort to break his fall and pulls the whole bridge
into the canyon with him. We catch up with the giant Coyote at
the bottom of the canyon with the wreckage of the bridge strewn
around him. Two tiny police cruisers, with lights flashing and
sirens wailing, arrive on the scene. The Coyote wearily rolls his
eyes in their direction as the scene fades to black.
The scene then fades up on an
airfield. Next to the ACME Air Freight hangar is a huge open box
labeled "ONE (1) ACME FULL SIZE RAILROAD TRESTLE (Fast, Easy
Assembly!)". Next, we see the plans for assembling the ACME
FULL SIZE RAILROAD TRESTLE unfolded over a mountainside. Finally,
we see the giant Coyote laying on his stomach and using a tiny,
normal sized screwdriver to drive in the final screw while the 2
police cruisers sit nearby. Fade to black.
Fade up on the Road Runner
running left to right across the screen, passing a pair of giant
Coyote feet. The Coyote twirls a tiny lasso and deftly flings it
in the direction of the Road Runner. Both the lasso and the fleet-footed
bird disappear over the horizon. The giant Coyote smugly shows
the viewer that the other end of the lasso is tied to his left
pinky finger. What he DOESN'T know is that the lasso continues
its flight toward an intersection. The Road Runner jolts to a
halt as an ACME Excursions Seaside Express bus rolls by on the
cross-traffic road. The lasso snags the front bumper of the bus.
The lasso tightens, pulling the giant Coyote off his feet. He
bounces and bumps along the road and eventually becomes airborne
like a giant kite. He sails over the Road Runner's head as the
Road Runner watches happily. The Coyote uses his right arm to
"climb" his left arm and begins fiddling with the knot,
trying to free his finger. The ACME Excursions Seaside Express
bus comes to a halt on a ferry dock just as the Coyote gets the
knot untied. He continues to sail through the air and out into
the open sea, where he belly-flops into the water near the ACME
Little Princess cruise ship. A life preserver on a rope is flung
over the rail of the cruise ship. It bobs on the surface of the
water for a moment before the angry, wet Coyote bursts to the
surface. The life preserver barely fits over the tip of his ear.
A shark, lured by the commotion, pokes his head out of the water
to investigate. The giant Coyote turns and sneers down at the
comparatively tiny shark, which skitters away, yelping like a
frightened puppy. Fade to black.
Fade up on the Road Runner
zooming past the camera toward the tiny gambling Meccha of
Lilliput Vegas, with its skyline of luxury casino hotels and
resorts. Cut to the giant Coyote zipping up his new "ACME
FULL SIZE SKYSCRAPER COSTUME (Fool EVERYONE On The Block!)"
With his tail and arms dangling from the costume's windows, the
Coyote tiptoes from one hiding place alongside the hotel towers
to another. He finally takes up a position between the twin
towers of the Frump Plaza Hotel and Casino, ready to pounce on
the Road Runner as he passes. He opens a couple of the upper
windows of the ACME FULL SIZE SKYSCRAPER COSTUME for better
visibility. As the Road Runner tears past, we see the giant
Coyote's feet poking out of the bottom of the costume, with the
middle toe of each foot touching the adjacent towers. We also see
the banners on the towers announcing "COMING SOON! NEW HOTEL
AND CASINO!" Before the Coyote can take a step, explosive
charges inside the towers are set off, sending cracks through the
towers and Wile E. and his costume. All three of them collapse
into a pile of rubble. Fade to black.
Fade up on a small, fast moving
object zooming along the twists and turns of a mountain road (it
does NOT make a "Beep! Beep!" sound). As the speeding
projectile rounds a bend cut into the side of a mountain, a giant
cupped brown paw slams down on it, trapping it. A wider shot
shows the giant Coyote, amazed at his success. He briefly holds
his closed paw up in the air like a trophy, then quickly gobbles
down the contents of his paw. As he leans against the mountain
and savors his victory, the Road Runner screeches to a halt on
the road. He looks curiously at the giant Coyote, who returns a
similarly puzzled expression. In a medium close-up, the Coyote
scratches his head and looks off into space, trying to make sense
of what just happened. He suddenly begins to giggle as if he's
being tickled. A wider shot shows that the Road Runner has put on
a stethoscope and is probing the giant Coyote's abdominal area
with a properly grave look on his face. He shakes his head
ominously, then steps back and looks up at the giant Coyote,
still shaking his head and making "Tch! Tch! Tch!"
sounds. He darts out of the frame, leaving the stethoscope to
twirl and dangle briefly in the air. Now the Coyote is REALLY
concerned and becomes aware of a strange buzz-saw sound emanating
from his stomach. In a close up, he turns his head to the side
and sticks out his tongue. A tiny whirlwind is spinning on the
tip of his tongue. When it stops, it becomes the Tasmanian Devil
(species: really teed-offius). The Devil leaps up to the Coyote's
nose and walks down the length of the Coyote's snout. The Coyote
has to cross his eyes to keep the Devil in focus. The Devil asks
"Why for you swallow me all the way down to your tummy?"
The giant Coyote breaks into a sheepish grin as huge beads of
sweat begin to collect on his forehead. A couple of the huge
sweat drops plop onto the Devil, who doesn't even blink. The
scene cuts to a slightly wider view and as the Coyote keeps his
gaze fixed on the Tasmanian Devil, he slowly and deliberately
draws back his leg and arms as if preparing to take off running.
He turns and peels out of the frame so fast that the Tasmanian
Devil hangs in the air for a second or two. The Tasmanian Devil
goes into his twirl as he falls. The scene cuts to the Road
Runner, who is standing by the side of the road. A giant pair of
brown feet bound past him, followed by the whirling Tasmanian
Devil. From off-camera, we hear the sounds of a fight, then the
giant brown feet run past in the opposite direction, followed
once again by the Tasmanian Devil. The Road Runner follows the
action like a tennis match as it keeps passing back and forth in
front of him. Fade out.
Fade up on the giant Coyote
chasing the Road Runner along a 2-lane highway. The Coyote sees
that the Road Runner is about to escape into the safety of a
tunnel carved into a mountain, so the Coyote scrambles OVER the
mountain, arriving at the other end of the tunnel before the Road
Runner. The Coyote drops to his hands and knees and peeks into
the tunnel. He then stands upright and raises his foot off the
ground, ready to squash the Road Runner. He slams his foot down,
just as the Road Runner shoots out of the tunnel. The Road Runner
zooms to safety over a distant horizon as the Coyote watches. As
the sound of the Road Runner fades, an ominous cracking sound
becomes apparent. The Coyote looks down at his foot and sees
cracks radiating through the pavement. A wider shot shows that
the Coyote is standing on a natural stone bridge, which is
beginning to crumble as the cracks continue to spread. Fearing
one of his legendary canyon plunges, the Coyote sits down, closes
his eyes and wraps his arms around himself, awaiting his fate. He
falls into the canyon, just far enough so that his 
head
is even with where the road was. He opens his eyes and holds up a
tiny sign that says "Believe me, it hurts just as much."
The Road Runner comes back and stops at the end of the road. He
shoves his whole head inside the giant Coyote's ear and lets fly
with a reverberating "BEEP! BEEP!" The giant Coyote
shoots straight up into the air like a rocket and the Road Runner
watches as he disappears into the sky and falls back to earth.
When he lands, the Coyote is already holding ANOTHER sign that
reads "Now, that REALLY stings!" The Road Runner tears
away and the enraged Coyote scrambles onto the road and takes off
after him. The Coyote doesn't notice that the road is angling
upward sharply and as the road abruptly levels off, the Road
Runner slams on the brakes but the Coyote continues to run
literally into the air. We see an eagle lazily flapping along.
The eagle gets a puzzled look on his face, then looks down and,
with a startled squawk, darts to one side as the giant Coyote
"runs" past him. The Coyote passes an ACME Airlines 747
jetliner and waves to the tiny passengers. As the sky grows dark,
he passes a space shuttle and, accompanied by a few bars of the
instrumental single "Telstar", he overshoots an
orbiting ACME Tattlestar satellite. Finally, in the darkness of
outer space and with Planet Earth in the background, the Coyote
jams on the brakes and frantically tries to claw his way back.
Instead, he begins plunging
through the darkness of space toward a huge bed that's also
tumbling through space and is big enough to hold him. He lands on
the bed on his hands and knees as a pillow settles down at the
head of the bed. A book drifts onto the pillow and as the Coyote
grabs the book to read its title, he "crashes" back
into his own cave. He looks around at the familiar surroundings
and things begin to make sense when he notes that the title of
the book on the pillow is "Gulliver's Travels". Still
not convinced that things are completely back to normal, he steps
out of his cave into a moonlit night. He comes upon a hole in the
ground from which one can hear the sound of snoring. Reaching
into the hole, he pulls out a normal-sized Bugs Bunny, who is
still asleep. Standing Bugs upright, he measures himself against
Bugs, happy to note that the tips of Bugs's ears are just a
couple of inches below his own ears. He gives Bugs a pat on the
head and a tiny kiss on the cheek and happily strides back to his
cave. As he disappears into the cave, the camera zooms in toward
the ground as a tiny Road Runner darts into the frame, stops,
turns toward the camera and bids the audience good night with a
shrill, speeded-up "beep! beep!" Fade to black. "That's
All Folks!"
Looney Tunes Larger Than Life!