Visitor with Ashes
Today had been a long day, and as I sat down in the kitchen I couldn't help but relive the entire sequence of events. There was a lot to think about and it took quite a long time to go through everything. I was only half way through it all when Josh came home. I didn't even realize that he was home until he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck- nearly gave me a heart attack too. I'm sure he could tell that something was wrong but whenever he asked if I was okay I didn't know if I was ready to tell him so I never gave him a straight answer.
It was after dinner that I summoned up enough emotional strength to talk about it. "Josh?" I asked, not really sure if he wanted to talk to me right now since I had blown him off all day.
"Yeah Kayla?" I felt his eyes on my back as I continued to keep my hands busy by packing up the leftovers. It was embarrassing, mostly because I had just started this conversation and I had no idea how to continue it. It took a couple of strangled seconds to come up with something.
"Do you know who used to live in this house before us?" I knew of course, but I still asked him none the less.
"Um, you mean the Daniels?" He answered questioningly.
"No, um, before that..." It felt wrong to talk about it, mainly because I was talking so casually about people I felt I knew but had never actually met.
Josh thought for a few moments but shook his head soon after. "Kayla I have no idea. Why do you want to know?" The concern in his voice made me feel awful. It was time to tell him I suppose.
"Well this man stopped by today..." I started. It was going to be a long story and since I didn't feel like having it in the kitchen where it now felt cold and damp I motioned for him to follow me into the living room where he had started a fire about an hour ago.
"He said his name was Special Agent Antony Dinozzo-"
"Wait." Josh interupted me. "An agent came to our house today? Did something happen?" He was flustered now, his eyes traveling all over me almost as if he were looking for battle wounds.
"No, nothing happened." I told him, it seemed to calm him down. For now anyway. "At least not to us. He said his friend died and that he felt it was right to spread his ashes here."
"What? Why here?" Josh asked me, he was definitely confused.
"Well, I felt really bad for him so I invited him in for a cup of coffee." I could just picture it. Tony, which is what he told me to call him, had obviously been crying. His eyes were puffy and his five o'clock shadow had a little to much shadow to it. Not only that but the man had looked as though a steam roller had plowed over him, just by making a swift glance over his person anyone could have told you that the guy was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained.
With that picture still fresh in my mind I continued. "After he had had two cups he started talking, I didn't even ask him anything. He just started talking..." For some reason my jaw clamped up and my words drifted off with no continuation. I felt the tears start to fall.
Josh wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders, holding me tight. It was exactly what I needed, it was one of the reason why I loved him so much. In the next moment he proved to me another reason why I fell for him.
"What did he tell you?" He asked me. There was obvious concern in his voice but I could tell that there was also encouragement mixed in with his words. "You don't have to tell me right now Kayla, I can wait. Take your time." He whispered gently into my hair. It was all comforting, and I loved every second of it.
I drank in a few more precious moments of smelling his sweet cologne before I managed to continue. "He was telling me how his friend's wife and daughter used to live here. Tony told me his name was Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Apparently Gibbs was a special agent too, and he was Tony's boss."
As time went on Josh started to massage small circles into my back. Everything he did for me was comforting. It gave me strength.
"Tony said that twenty years ago when Gibbs was fighting in Desert Storm his family stayed here, but then one day his wife and their daughter were out shopping and witnessed a man get murdered. They had to be put in the witness protection program. The man who committed the murder was apparently a gang member so they put out a hit on his family so that they wouldn't be able to testify."
When I finished that sentance things started to get harder. I had no idea how Tony managed to talk about this to anyone; I mean I had trouble talking about it and I hadn't even known the man. Josh tightened his grip on my shoulders.
"On the day that the trial was supposed to start a gang member shot them. He was a sniper. 'Right through the forehead for each of 'em.' Tony said. But they never told Agent Gibbs, Josh; they waited until he had finished his tour and came home to an empty house before they told him!"
That part had made me nearly explode with hatred. When Tony had seen my face he threw me a forced smile that twisted his face into something pitiful. 'I felt the same way when he told me.' He had said to me, throwing a fake chuckle in the mix along with it. That laugh grated against my ears and I wished for it to stop the second it started.
Getting back to my story after my internal rampage I started where I left off. "Tony said this was the last reminder of them that Gibbs had. That's why he brought the ashes here. Because it's where happy memories were made."
Thinking back on it I could remember that after he had told me everything we had sat in silence for awhile. He gripping his coffee mug like it was the last solid possession he ever owned and I trying to quell the flood of tears that overcame me. At one point I must have sniffed or moved suddenly because all at once he was apologizing. 'I'm sorry.' He said to me. 'I only wanted you to know why a stranger appeared at your door asking such a stupid request, I didn't mean to make you cry.' I told him that he had nothing to be ashamed of, that I was willing to help in any way I could. Which gave me an idea, I asked him to follow me and we spread the ashes.
"Special Angent Antony Dinozzo of NCIS spread the ashes." I said to Josh. "He picked that nice spot out behind the coy pond in the shade with that small licac bush."
"That's a beautiful spot." Josh told me quietly. A melancholy feeling had crept over us; I never even noticed it until I remembered what Tony said as he was looking for a good place. Upon recalling it I let out a small laugh which caught Josh's attention.
"What?" He carefully demanded.
I smiled at him to show that everything was okay. "Oh, nothing. It's just something funny that Tony said when he picked that spot." I never did get around to telling Josh what it was because at that time, sitting on the couch with Josh, I felt that that little moment was sacred, not something lightly shared with others; and for some reason Josh never questioned why I didn't tell him. He just sat there and held me while my mind was preoccupied.
The image was vivid in my mind. Tony was standing just to my right, only a few feet away but for all I know he could have been across the country. 'Well Boss.' He had said while looking down at the simple black box in his hands. 'I know you marines don't do the frilly flowery thing but I think this is a nice spot. Shannon and Kelly would have probably liked it...'
His voice drifted off and I stepped aside to leave him alone for a few minutes while he collected himself. It seemed like such a private moment and I felt that I was intruding. I watched him a few minutes longer; he was standing there, eyes glued to the bag of grey sorrow that once was his friend. Then I watched as he slowly opened it and let the wind blow all of the ashes into the blooming lilac bushes.
He stayed there for a long time after that; with me watching him from the patio door. I was waiting to see if he would need me but as he came back inside his face was just the same as before, if only for a few stray tear marks across his cheeks. I found it odd that I wanted to hug him as if I had known him for a lifetime instead of a hour. It had just seemed right at the time, so I did it. I wrapped him in the strongest hug I could muster. I think it helped because when I let him go he seemed more composed.
He gave me a crackled thank you from a sore throat and with that he walked out the door and out of my life. I watched him sink heavily into his car and drive away, then I made my way to the kitchen. Somehow in that one hour I had been completely drained. As I sank into my chair at the table all I could do was stare at the half full coffee cup sitting next to me. And I stayed like that until Josh found me.
The next day I made sure that as soon as I got off of work I went to a specialty store that I had heard of from a friend. I got what I wanted and when I got home I made my way straight to the garden, completely ignoring Josh. I was mission bound.
"Kayla? Where are you going?" I heard him call after me. As I made my way out to the back yard I could hear his footsteps behind me.
When I reached the spot that I had my sights set on I opened my gift and placed it at the foot of the lilac bush. I sat there on my knees and waited until I felt Josh standing behind me. He knelt down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"In rememberance of Shannon, Kelly and Jethro." He read aloud. "It's beautiful Kayla."
I could feel the tears start to drip again. "You think they like it?" I asked.
"They love it." Josh told me matter-of-factly. He placed a kiss to my temple. "They love it." He repeated in a smaller voice.
End.
Thank you so much for reading. TT-TT I know! I hated having Gibbs die! it was so hard to write that part but I did it, and I'm glad I did. Please review.