Feedback: Positive or negative both welcome.
celli@fanfic101.com
Rating: PG-13 for references to Bad Things.
Archiving: Fireflight (www.sunnydale-slayers.com/firefly)
and by permission.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Firefly belongs to ME, FOX (grr),
and other lawyer-possessing entities.
Spoilers: Through "Objects in Space."
Summary: Post-ep to OiS. Kaylee confesses to Simon.
For Rhythm. Happy birthday!
***
Let Be
by Celli Lane
***
"I had a plan. Even the captain knew I had a plan."
"Well, you told the captain, River. You forgot to let me
in on it." Simon's voice is groggy but warm. "I didn't
know I was supposed to let him go."
Kaylee stands in the doorway to the infirmary, feeling as
awkward as she ever has--which is very--and watches River
not-fuss over Simon, brushing her hands through the air
over his wound without actually touching it. "'All the
world is bitter as a tear,'" she says. "He shot you."
"He punched me too. And then he kicked me."
River's eyes widen, and Kaylee winces for her, but Simon
takes River's hand and lays it over his heart. "I thought
you were leaving me, *mei-mei,*" he says. "I had to."
"I had a *plan,*" she says stubbornly, and he laughs just a
little.
"I won't doubt you again, River. 'Come hence, let be, lie
still; it is enough.'" And he sounds like River for a
moment there. But she smiles back at him.
"Be nice," she says, and stands up.
She passes Kaylee on the way out and pats her shoulder.
"'Love is a barren sea, bitter and deep.'"
"It is?" But River is already gone.
"Kaylee," Simon says, and his voice is nearly as kind as it
was when he spoke to River. "I haven't had a chance to say
thank you yet."
"What did you say to her?" she asks. Just a few minutes
before he has to hate her, is it so much to ask?
"What?"
"Come hence? You don't talk like that."
"Oh." A blush tips his cheeks, and it's a relief after how
pale he was when Zoe finished with him. "It's an old poem.
One of my favorites. I was reading it before--a few days
ago, and River must have seen it." His smile dims a bit.
"It makes me think of her, you see."
Kaylee inches closer. "Why?"
"'Though we sang as angels in her ear, she would not
hear.'" He closes his eyes. Kaylee feels her throat seize
up.
"Simon, I gotta tell you something," she blurts before
she's too scared.
"Hm?"
He doesn't open his eyes, and it should be easier this way.
"I told Early where you were."
"You what?"
"In the engine room. He said--" *beatingheartbeenraped
sayitunseemlymannerHURTYOU* "Don't matter what he said.
He asked where River slept and I told him."
Simon's eyes are open now, and the look in them is so dark
she stumbles back a step. Then another expression crosses
his face. "What did he say, Kaylee?"
"Don't *matter.*" She's shaking again.
"When he came in, River was gone." He sits up a little,
and winces when it jolts his leg. But his eyes don't move
from hers. "He told me that if I didn't help him find her,
first he'd blow my brains out. Then he'd go back to the
engine room. He said he would rape you before he killed
you."
"Oh. Oh." The Simon she knew before today wouldn't have
been able to say that word to her face.
"Is that why you told him?"
"He said not--not to interfere at all." *There's no one
that can help me.* "Or he'd come back."
"And yet you got free and let the captain out."
"River told me to. When she was being Serenity."
"She's persuasive."
"Don't smile at me!" Simon's expression goes to a shocked
blank. "Don't be nice to me. Don't justify it. I told
him where you slept, Simon. I shoulda lied, shoulda said
somewhere else--"
"Kaylee. Come here."
She shakes her head miserably.
"Kaylee, if I have to get up and chase you across this room
it'll hurt my leg. Do you want me to hurt my leg?"
She inches closer. He reaches out and grabs her hand, tugs
until she's sitting where River was earlier.
"If you'd lied to him, he would have kept his word. He
would have gone back and hurt you. We both know it."
"...sold you out," she says through the shaking of her
shoulders.
"You *saved* us. River's plan would have failed if you
hadn't freed the captain. You helped."
She can't stop the crying now, and shrugs his arms off when
he tries to hold her. "You could have died 'cause of me.
And they'd take River away and cut her brain again."
"I'm okay. River's okay. *Baobei,* shh."
She cries until her hair sticks to her face from the tears
and the front of his shirt is wet. But finally the sound
of his heart against her ear is louder than her hiccupy
breaths.
"I'm so sorry," he says finally. "I'm sorry he scared you,
Kaylee."
"I'm sorry I told on you," she says, and he smiles.
"Then we're even, I suppose."
"I can live with that."
He kisses the top of her head. "'Come hence. Let be. Lie
still...'"
"'...it is enough,'" she finishes. And she supposes it is.
***
Notes:
The Horsechicks reviewed, and Serrico caught my Star Trek
mistake. *g* Thanks, guys!
(Belated) part of Firefly Improv #3:
barren -- pale -- justify -- live
mei-mei--little sister
baobei--baby/darling
Translations from fireflyfans.net
The poem quoted is "A Leave-Taking" by A.C. Swinburne:
http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/displaypoem.cfm?poemnum=2093
celli@fanfic101.com
Rating: PG-13 for references to Bad Things.
Archiving: Fireflight (www.sunnydale-slayers.com/firefly)
and by permission.
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Firefly belongs to ME, FOX (grr),
and other lawyer-possessing entities.
Spoilers: Through "Objects in Space."
Summary: Post-ep to OiS. Kaylee confesses to Simon.
For Rhythm. Happy birthday!
***
Let Be
by Celli Lane
***
"I had a plan. Even the captain knew I had a plan."
"Well, you told the captain, River. You forgot to let me
in on it." Simon's voice is groggy but warm. "I didn't
know I was supposed to let him go."
Kaylee stands in the doorway to the infirmary, feeling as
awkward as she ever has--which is very--and watches River
not-fuss over Simon, brushing her hands through the air
over his wound without actually touching it. "'All the
world is bitter as a tear,'" she says. "He shot you."
"He punched me too. And then he kicked me."
River's eyes widen, and Kaylee winces for her, but Simon
takes River's hand and lays it over his heart. "I thought
you were leaving me, *mei-mei,*" he says. "I had to."
"I had a *plan,*" she says stubbornly, and he laughs just a
little.
"I won't doubt you again, River. 'Come hence, let be, lie
still; it is enough.'" And he sounds like River for a
moment there. But she smiles back at him.
"Be nice," she says, and stands up.
She passes Kaylee on the way out and pats her shoulder.
"'Love is a barren sea, bitter and deep.'"
"It is?" But River is already gone.
"Kaylee," Simon says, and his voice is nearly as kind as it
was when he spoke to River. "I haven't had a chance to say
thank you yet."
"What did you say to her?" she asks. Just a few minutes
before he has to hate her, is it so much to ask?
"What?"
"Come hence? You don't talk like that."
"Oh." A blush tips his cheeks, and it's a relief after how
pale he was when Zoe finished with him. "It's an old poem.
One of my favorites. I was reading it before--a few days
ago, and River must have seen it." His smile dims a bit.
"It makes me think of her, you see."
Kaylee inches closer. "Why?"
"'Though we sang as angels in her ear, she would not
hear.'" He closes his eyes. Kaylee feels her throat seize
up.
"Simon, I gotta tell you something," she blurts before
she's too scared.
"Hm?"
He doesn't open his eyes, and it should be easier this way.
"I told Early where you were."
"You what?"
"In the engine room. He said--" *beatingheartbeenraped
sayitunseemlymannerHURTYOU* "Don't matter what he said.
He asked where River slept and I told him."
Simon's eyes are open now, and the look in them is so dark
she stumbles back a step. Then another expression crosses
his face. "What did he say, Kaylee?"
"Don't *matter.*" She's shaking again.
"When he came in, River was gone." He sits up a little,
and winces when it jolts his leg. But his eyes don't move
from hers. "He told me that if I didn't help him find her,
first he'd blow my brains out. Then he'd go back to the
engine room. He said he would rape you before he killed
you."
"Oh. Oh." The Simon she knew before today wouldn't have
been able to say that word to her face.
"Is that why you told him?"
"He said not--not to interfere at all." *There's no one
that can help me.* "Or he'd come back."
"And yet you got free and let the captain out."
"River told me to. When she was being Serenity."
"She's persuasive."
"Don't smile at me!" Simon's expression goes to a shocked
blank. "Don't be nice to me. Don't justify it. I told
him where you slept, Simon. I shoulda lied, shoulda said
somewhere else--"
"Kaylee. Come here."
She shakes her head miserably.
"Kaylee, if I have to get up and chase you across this room
it'll hurt my leg. Do you want me to hurt my leg?"
She inches closer. He reaches out and grabs her hand, tugs
until she's sitting where River was earlier.
"If you'd lied to him, he would have kept his word. He
would have gone back and hurt you. We both know it."
"...sold you out," she says through the shaking of her
shoulders.
"You *saved* us. River's plan would have failed if you
hadn't freed the captain. You helped."
She can't stop the crying now, and shrugs his arms off when
he tries to hold her. "You could have died 'cause of me.
And they'd take River away and cut her brain again."
"I'm okay. River's okay. *Baobei,* shh."
She cries until her hair sticks to her face from the tears
and the front of his shirt is wet. But finally the sound
of his heart against her ear is louder than her hiccupy
breaths.
"I'm so sorry," he says finally. "I'm sorry he scared you,
Kaylee."
"I'm sorry I told on you," she says, and he smiles.
"Then we're even, I suppose."
"I can live with that."
He kisses the top of her head. "'Come hence. Let be. Lie
still...'"
"'...it is enough,'" she finishes. And she supposes it is.
***
Notes:
The Horsechicks reviewed, and Serrico caught my Star Trek
mistake. *g* Thanks, guys!
(Belated) part of Firefly Improv #3:
barren -- pale -- justify -- live
mei-mei--little sister
baobei--baby/darling
Translations from fireflyfans.net
The poem quoted is "A Leave-Taking" by A.C. Swinburne:
http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/displaypoem.cfm?poemnum=2093