Title: Just Jonathan
Rating: PG-13
Author: Fool For Love (FoolForLove@DrawnToTheFire.com)
Summary: Jonathan's POV during a sleepless night. Set during "Superstar".
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda Joss is god... don't sue my ass....

The spell hadn't worked. As the twins lie satisfied between his arms the thought continued to echo through his mind. He had caused the entire world to change by doing nothing more than reciting a few simple words and gestures. No one knew anything other than what he had shown them. He was loved, adored, worshipped and no one retained even the smallest fraction of the world that was. No one except for himself. Mere weeks ago, the girls who so blissfully slept at his side would not have given him a passing glance. He would not have existed within their universe. He wouldn't have mattered to anyone at all. No friends. A family who could never understand.
One of the girls stirred slightly in her sleep causing her body to fall closer to his own. He gently stroked his fingers through her soft blonde hair. In this world, he was all that she had ever wanted and he was the best she could ever dream of. But it was all a lie.
The memories haunted him nightly and tonight, as many nights prior, he lie awake unable to cope with the dreams of his own past. He thought of high school, and the torment, and how he never belonged. Then he remembered the tower. He could never forget the tower. He remembered how she came to his rescue and how for the first time he could remember, he was really seen. She was the hero and no spell could ever make him equal. No one in his world had ever seen him the way that he saw her.
No. The spell hadn't worked because he still remembered. He remembered who he was and all the things he would never be. Out of all the lives and memories his magic had affected, he couldn't change his own. He wasn't a spy, a musician, or a superhero. He was just Jonathan and always would be.