Man, I'm in a R+V mood that only writting can get out of my system. And once again this is a X-over with South Park. Which if you think about all the crazy shit that happens in that town, it could crossover well with a ton of different series. A shame there isn't many more.

So I guess for the time being, I'm the master of the R+V and SP crossover section.

As for the story itself, this one is going to get a second chapter but after that I don't know if it would be worthy of continuing.

And once again, I extend and invitation to everyone who reads this that if you like some of the concpets presented here, you may use them freely. Or if you want to make your own take on this story, feel free to do so and send me a link.

Enough rambling, let's go on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own either South Park or Rosario + Vampire.

Chapter 1 - Point of Departure and First Day.

"Wow, this place sure is scary" A young blond girl said to herself as she walked down the road towards what would be her school for the next few years.

"Then again, I remember being in situations way scarier." And most of them all were when she was a 4th grader on South Park elementary and went by the name of 'Butters'.

"A school for Monsters..." Can't be worse than the time she took that scary road through the lost forest after her mom tried to drown her for catching Dad having gay sex or when an Alien ship crashed upon the town and everyone was becoming Nazi Zombies.

She really had a fucked up life in South Park.

Still most of his…I mean…her life was spent there with his friends, so she still felt sad for leaving the place behind, even if most of her previous friends couldn't accept her for what she was today. A girl named Marjorine.

'If they could accept me, I wouldn't be here in the first place.' Marjorine thought gloomily as she remembered how it all went down.

[FLASHBACK]

Why?

Why did life have to be so hard?

Oh that's right! It's because she was a he. And not any he, but Leopold Stotch. The one boy that everything always had to go wrong for him.

Marjorine was sitting at a bench under the tree at the town's Kids Park. Behind her was the pirate ship playground where kindergartners played 'pirates' every chance they got without a care in the world.

"Lucky them."

"Feeling miserable?" a voice came from behind, snapping Marjorine back from her thoughts. It was Damien Thorn, Son of Satan and the Antichrist. Also an ex-classmate from school.

"What do you want?" Any other day, Marjorine would've tried to act cordial in order to not provoke the wrath of the hell spawn, but today she didn't care what possible horrors he could unleash onto her.

"Curious, as to what caused you to be miserable instead of my own actions." He said nonchalantly as he sat beside her.

"If you want to know…it's because they rejected my high school application."And before Damien could even ask, she continued, "Not because of my grades, but because of my 'condition'."

"…"

"So much for the Museum of Tolerance outside of town." She couldn't help but add with bitterness creeping into her voice.

Oh, but the museum teaches to be tolerant to all races and to people of homosexual orientation, but not people like her. No, people like her were freaks or were suffering from a 'mental condition'.

Fuck that place.

Then silence settled over the girl and the boy, and none of them seemed really eager to change that. That is until Damien broke the silence after 5 minutes of it. "You know… I know of a place where they might accept you."

"Where?" She had tried all schools on the surrounding county, but all of them gave bullshit excuses for their denial in order to not look bad or bigoted.

"It's a school overseas, called Youkai Academy!"

Youkai Academy? That really sounded foreign.

"What's the catch?"The girl inquired. She knew who Damien was, and everything he offered always had a catch. You know, since he was the son of Satan and all that.

"Do you want my immortal soul in exchange?" she asked seriously. Even since she was a child, her parents always instilled the fear of God unto her. Sure, according to Father Maxi, being what she was wasn't exactly viewed well by the church. But Marjorine liked to believe God would still accept her, no matter what.

"Ha! Why would I want that? Almost everyone is guaranteed to go to hell, so rest assure your soul is worthless to me" Damien mocked but with no clear emotion on his face. As if it was an irrefutable fact that wasn't even worth mentioning.

"Then what?" Marjorine asked, feeling kind of insulted that Damien didn't find any worth on owning her soul.

"It's a school for monsters. Werewolves, Zombies, Vampires…" Damien explained so casually almost like he was talking about the weather. "This school teaches these monsters the value of co-existence with humans so they can move on and live normal lives within human society."

Any other person in any other town would have call bullshit on such claim. But this was South Park who weren't unfamiliar with stuff like, Satan, The antichrist, Santa Clause, Mr. Hankey the talking turd, Jesus Christ and the Super Best Friends, Aliens, Zombies, underwear gnomes and Mecha Barbara Streisand among others.

Also Crab people.

Honest to God Crab people.

"Do they accept humans?" She asked intrigued.

"Well…no." The dark boy said, "But you can pretend to be one, just like you are doing right now pretending to be a girl."

"I'm not PRETENDING!" Marjornie yelled; something that she almost never did, despite all the misfortune she had endured in her life.

Her sudden yell didn't go unnoticed by the park's visitors. Children around just turned and stared in genuine curiosity. While the few adults that were present began murmuring between themselves.

"Isn't that…?

"Yes, he is."

"His mother must be ashamed!"

"I heard the father walked away after they found out."

"I don't blame him"

The murmurs and the stared continued among some of the adults while others went for their children and took them away telling their kids to never, ever associate themselves with HIM.

Damien sat there, saying absolutely nothing as he watched the girl besides him tremble at the adult's words as if every one of them were causing physical pain. For a moment he wondered if she was going to yell at them or simply bolt out and escape the situation. Instead, she just sat there while tears threaten to fall.

"So are you interested?" Damien asked not really caring about the mood of the situation.

Marjorine sniffed and whipped her eyes with the back of her hands as she considered her options.

It was either stay here, were no school would take him because of what she was and spent her life as a drop out searching for a school who accepted her, which could take some time. Or go with Damien's suggestion an assist to a school for LITERAL monsters, a place that where no one know who she was or what she was. Where she could start anew and live her life without the prejudice of the townsfolk.

"Damien, about the paperwork…" left the sentence hanging, which Damien quickly picked it up.

"Heh, all I have to do is write a few lies here and there and you will be completely set." Marjorine wasn't exactly in favor of lying like that, but desperate situation needs desperate measures.

"Wait! You also said it was overseas, which country is it located?"

"Japan."

"Japan! I don't know how to speak Japa…"Marjorine began but was interrupted by a chop on her barely noticeable Adam's apple, which sent her on a coughing fit.

"Now you do." Damien said indifferently. "Now let me fill you in about a few more things."

[]

"I can't believe you are considering this." Wendy Testaburger said with a small sad sigh. "Are you really sure about this?"

"Damien's offer was very tempting."

Wendy sent her a worried look.

Wendy Testaburger was one of the few remaining friends she had left after she became Marjornie. Despite not being close friends to begin with, Wendy was the first to accept the new her and welcome her with open arms and unconditional support.

And thanks to Wendy's support Marjorine got the acceptance of Bebe, Wendy's best friend, who despite being a little two-faced and a bitch most of the time, she was a really good friend.

And with both Wendy and Bebe on her side, more girls began accepting her, while others just tolerated her presence and didn't speak ill of her…at least not on her face.

But his friends…the guys. They all reacted differently and not all had been positive.

Guys like Token and Tweek didn't say much. Token shared his opinion in a very calm manner and told the new her that he didn't feel comfortable hanging out with her; while Tweek, being the nervous wreck that he was, shouted that it was all too complicated and that he didn't know what to think or do.

For the peace of mind of both of them, Marjorine accepted their reactions and tried to steer clear of them whenever they happen to be on the same room as her. Still, their rejection still hurt.

Stan and Kyle had similar reactions. For days they would avoid her like she had the plague and whenever she would enter the room they would leave or stay as far away as possible. During that that time, she felt horrible since they were among the ones she considered to be closest to.

But after a whole week, Kyle finally stepped forward and talked to her. He said that the news were shocking to him but after he had some time to think, he came to grips with the change and asked for forgiveness for acting the way he did.

Stan said something similar, but she could tell right away he only did it because of Kyle and Wendy, since he would still avoid gazing at her or talked to her if she wasn't talking with Wendy or Kyle. As much as she disliked that, she could tell that he was putting some effort trying to accept her.

Even so, the worst came from Eric Cartman.

But the less she could think about Cartman the better. However, Cartman's treatment of her toned down after Wendy went and beat him up like she had done back on 4th grade when Cartman made fun of breast cancer. And it was just as bloody this time too.

Man, nobody messes with Wendy.

"And how Damien knew about this school?" Wendy was worried, and who wouldn't after accepting an offer made by the anti-Christ himself. "Can you really trust in what he said?"

"Well, Damien said that I was doing him a favor." Wendy gave her a curious look but before she could voice it, Marjorine explained. "His dad wanted to send him there against his will, but Damien bet his Dad that if he could find someone else to take his place at that school, he could stay in South Park."

"And after he confessed that, you still want to go?" Wendy almost yelled exalted. Didn't Marjorine thought about the possibility of this been an elaborated set-up?

"I had no other options." The blond commented sadly "No school here is willing to take me."

Seeing the sad and rejected look on her friend's face Wendy went ahead and enveloped the sad girl in a warm hug.

"Oh, Marjorine!"

Honestly Wendy couldn't even comprehend her friend's feelings. She could try to sympathize or relate to them but she would always come short. The hardships and pain in Marjorine life were beyond anyone's comprehension. At least in all of South Park.

All Wendy could do was to offer her help whenever she could, and in her mind she always thought it wasn't enough. And that always made her cry.

And so, the two girls stay like that for a few minutes until the tears stopped dropping.

[]

Marjorine was inside her room looking at the mirror watching herself dressed with the school uniform the academy dictated, and of course it was the girl's uniform. Currently she was waiting before going to the bus stop where, according to Damien, a 'magic' bus was going to pick her up.

Only in a place like South Park that statement didn't sound all that crazy.

Marjorine didn't carry anything other than her new briefcase, something that all High-Schoolers in Japan used for school, since all her stuff was 'transported' for her to her new school days before.

'Having magical powers sure come in handy.'

Looking at the clock over her nightstand, it showed that it was almost time for her to go. With a last look at the mirror, Marjorine stepped out of her room and walked down the steps to the living room.

"Bu…Butters?" Her mom called out.

It's been some time now since the change, but Linda Stotch still called her by that name and used male pronouns, but Marjorine could handle that.

At very least Mom stayed. Unlike her Dad, who after he couldn't kick her out of the house, he stormed away leaving the both of them behind.

"Butters, are you sure you still want to go?" She asked worriedly.

Marjorine knew that any other time mom would've been ecstatic about the idea of her child going to a private academy oversees which guaranteed not having to see her child for long periods of time while it'll still get a proper education.

But know, mom didn't have dad by her side. And Marjorine suspected mom didn't and to be left alone.

"I'm very sure." Marjorine tried to sound as convinced as possible not only for her but for mom as well. If she was out of the picture, Mom could try to get some semblance of her old life back and be happy again. She only wished the best for her mom.

And maybe, just maybe, mom would come to accept her and call her by her new name.

"I'm just worried about you."

"I know mom." Thank goodness, she didn't tell her that the school was in fact a school for monsters or mom would've freak out.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Butters."

"I'm going to miss you too."

Despite all her faults and misses as a mother or as a decent person, Linda Stotch was still her mother and nothing would ever change that.

With small steps Marjorine walked up to her mother and gave her a hug, which her mother returned alongside a small kiss on the cheek. She could tell the whole thing felt awkward for Mom, but she was still trying her best. And that's all she could ask for.

[]

Cold.

It was cold day.

Sure, the snow almost never went away in South Park, and the residents were all accostumed to it. But today, the day felt colder.

"Another small remainder of what I'll leave behind." Marjorine said to herself as she waited for this 'magic bus' to arrive and pick her up at the same bus stop where she took the bus for South Park Elementary.

"So, you are really leaving." From her side came a voice she immediately recognized despite not hearing it as frequently anymore.

"K..Kenny!" she said surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"I wonder that myself."

Kenneth 'Kenny' McCormick was once a fellow classmate and friend ever since preschool. But a few years ago after a tragic accident, made Kenny into a loner who ran away from home and left school for good.

"So you finally had it with this Shit-hole of a town, eh Butters? Kenny asked in a well-mannered manner that clashed with his current dirty and poor appearance.

"It..it's not like that." Marjorine answered unceasingly. She had not seen Kenny for a long time; she had still gone by Butters when he left. "A..A..And my name is Marjorine now."

"Huh? Like when we faked your death and dressed you up like a girl? Who would've known you like it so much?" he finished with a small laugh. Not one filled with sarcasm or mockery but the kind that friends gave to each other when they reminisced on the past.

"I… I…" She didn't know how to respond to that and looked down at the snow beneath her. Sure the aftermath of that little stun, were very confusing and horrifying days of being trapped and chained on the basement, but she never regretted crashing that Slumber party.

Then she felt a hand under her chin which, in a gentle manner, lifted up her gaze towards Kenny's own.

"You know, if I didn't know better I would totally hit on you." He confessed with a phantom of a smile. "What do you think?"

"Wh-what?" Marjorine cheeks turned completely red at the sudden confession. It wasn't like she liked boys now that she was a girl. In fact she was still sorting out her own feelings on who she was and what she wanted to be.

"I…don't know. I don't think I like boys all that m..much. I still think I l..l..like girls." When she was younger he had a small crush on Wendy and she would be lying if she say had completely forgotten about it.

Kenny raised an eyebrow in slight confusion before he finally said, "Are you pulling a Garrison?"

Of course, he was referring to Mr. Garrison, their 3rd and 4th grade teacher, who became gay, then a woman, then a lesbian, and finally a man again.

"No!" Marjorine answered further embarrassed. She wasn't like Mr. Garrison, she wasn't sure if she would ever have the courage to underway surgery like her teacher did. "Please do not say embarrassing things like that."

For his part, Kenny just laughed. "Sorry, it just that now that I see you up close you look really cute, especially when embarrassed." As an answer for his comment, Marjorine become even redder.

"Stop it!"

"Heh, heh! Sorry!" he apologized sincerely. "I guess, I'm not the fairest maiden in the land Zaron anymore!" He finished with a very infectious laugh and Marjorine couldn't help but join in.

Those days when they all played with the Stick of Truth were really some of the most fun and exciting things that ever happen to the town. Especially after the new kid joined in.

"Those were fun days."

"Yeah."

After that, an unfamiliar bus was finally seen on the horizon coming towards them.

"That's my bus." Marjorine pointed out sad that the moment was cut short. She hadn't seen Kenny in such a long time, she had forgotten what was like to have him around, specially as a friend.

"I know." Kenny said feeling almost the same as her. "I guess this is the goodbye."

"I can still come back for winter and summer breaks. We can see each other then." Yes, she was looking forward to meet his friend Kenny again, even more now that he has accepted the new her.

"No." Kenny answered with a stone cold face that made Marjorine frown.

"This place is nothing but a hellhole that sucks you in and never let go. You have the chance to go away and start your life anew someplace else. So please do not bother yourself with this fucking mountain town."

"Sorry Kenny. I can't do that."

"You have to. Not for you but for all the poor souls that are trapped in this place forever."

This wasn't a scheme to kick her out of town for good, she could tell that much. Kenny was acting like if helping her out of this place would grant him some kind of release for himself.

"No, as long as there is someone important for me in here, I will always return here." Marjorine stated with conviction in her voice. "That includes you Kenny. You are important to me." Though she had forgotten for a while, she stood by her words.

Kenny look at her with a sad smile. "You know, you are too kind for your own good."

"I've been told."

After that, that's when the bus finally arrived and opened its door.

"Bus for Youkai Academy! Please watch your step!" said a rather creepy looking bus driver. Even so, he was only the second most creepy bus driver Marjorine had ever seen. Ms. Crabfree will always be the creepiest no matter what.

"Here I go, I guess." Marjorine said with a heavy sigh.

"Then I guess this isn't a good bye but a see you later." Kenny called out as she boarded the bus.

"Yes." She replied with a smile. "See you later, Kenny."

"See you later, Marjorine."

[]

After the trail down to memory lane finished, Marjorine noticed that she had finally arrived to the school building, which reminded her of several horror mansions she'd seen on the movies before, or Clyde's castle of evil when they were all younger.

The next thing she noticed was that she was surrounded by several other normal looking students. All wearing the same school uniform; green jacket with brownish pants or in her case skirt, which she constantly fiddled its edge. 'I wonder if I could get permission to wear pants instead.'

Around her, Marjorine could overhear several conversations, mostly focusing on their expectations for the semester and which freshman was the hottest or cutest. You know, normal everyday high school chats.

'Still, no matter what they look like, they are still monsters.' Marjorine remembered Damien's warnings and advice of how to blend in and to not bring attention to herself. But also he recommended to be prepared for the worst case scenario, which meant defending herself from any monster attack.

'Good thing, I brought some stuff here with me.' A special, and kind of nostalgic, last resort if she was ever in a pickle.

After a few minutes of wandering around, Marjorine finally arrived to table with the sign of 'information' on it, where they gave the keys to her dorm and her class schedule. "There are still 20 minutes before the entrance ceremony begins." The woman running the desk informed her. "Attendance is obligatory, so settle in as fast as you can."

After thanking her, Marjorine decided to go and check on her new room before the entrance ceremony started. It was a strange new feeling for her, her own room at school was not something she ever thought she would experience, at least not until college, if she was able to even get into one.

The dorms didn't look all that different from what you would expect from a human standpoint, the only difference was the decay look it had on the outside. "Hope it looks better on the inside."

As she was about to enter, a strange voice sounded behind her. "Well, well, well. Look at what we got here." Marjorine turned towards the voice and found a very large and intimidating guy giving her a look she didn't like one bit. "What's your name, girl?"

"M.M..Marjorine." She stuttered. She knew that look he was giving her. It was the same as wild animal eyeing a wounded prey, or when a member of NAMBLA thought he was finally gonna score. Both examples she was very familiar with.

"Marjorine? What a strange name" The guy wondered out loud"…doesn't matter, do you want to have some fun with me?" He offered as he stalked forward, making Marjorine step back little by little.

"No, I'm having fun by myself." She said lamely, but it wasn't like she had a witty retort at the moment. As she backed away, she was contemplating whenever or not to whip out THAT to get out of this.

Suddenly a new voice interrupted the whole thing.

"Hey you!" called out the new voice.

Both Marjorine and the guy turned towards the voice and found out it belonged to a very attractive blue haired girl with a MASSIVE chest to go around, something that made Marjorine self-conscious about her own flat man chest.

"Why are you wasting your time with such a plain girl when you can focus on me?" The newcomer girl said and with good measure added a slight wink that could almost hypnotize. Which it kinda did, since the guy just turned his back away from Marjorine and focused his attention on the blue head alone.

"Yes, whatever you say" he said as if he was in a trance.

"Yes, success! Let's see how many I can gather this day alone!" The big chested girl announced as she walked away with the guy following close behind. Leaving Marjorine confused as to what just happened.

After the obligatory entrance ceremony ended Marjorine was already over her would-be-assault. It wasn't like sexual molestation was something she hadn't experienced before. Most of the cases when that happened was when he was still a 9 year old boy.

No, instead she was wondering about the blue haired girl that helped her. Did she help her because she saw her in trouble? Or was it a mere coincidence? And what did she meant by how many she could gather?

Anyways, she put those thoughts aside and focused on finding out where her classroom was going to be. "1-2, 1-2, 1-2…Ah! There it is!"

There were already many students inside but only one caught Marjorine's attention.

"Ah! It's her!" She almost exclaimed out loud.

It was the blue haired girl, the same one who helped her before the entrance ceremony. She was sitting on her desk with a clear frown on her face. 'I wonder what happened to get her mad.'

Silently Marjorine took the seat next to her. The blond tried to not to stare at the girls beside her, but she founded difficult. She was curious and wanted to ask her about what happened. 'But should I say something? I don't want to make her mad.'

"Can I help you? Or are you gonna keep staring me?" The blue haired girl asked with annoyance clearly in her voice and demeanor.

"S..Sorry! I..I didn't mean to..It's just…I…well…" The poor blond mumbled not expecting to be confronted like that.

"You're that girl from earlier, right?" The blue head pointed out.

"Yes… I..I just wanted to thank you for your help!"She finally blurted out "Ah! Sorry I haven't introduced myself yet! My name is Marjorine. Marjorine Stotch!"

The other girl just looked at her not really interested, but as social manners dictated, she introduced herself too. "I'm Kurono Kurumu. And I didn't do anything to help you, I did it for myself" she added cryptically.

But before Marjorine could even ask about what she meant, the door slid open and their teacher entered the classroom. It was a plain looking man with no distinguishable features other than his well-combed red hair.

"Hello, and welcome to Youkai Academy, I'm your homeroom teacher Umino Kani." The teacher said with a voice that indicated he wanted to be any other place but there. Silently he scanned the room to look at all his students, but when his gaze fell upon Marjorine, he stared for at least two seconds longer than necessary.

What followed was the usual introductory speech all teachers gave every new semester. Explaining the purpose of the school and the rules that everyone had to follow, like remaining in human form at all times and never revealed what kind of monsters they were. And of course during the speech a student had to ask about humans and the teacher explained that any human found in campus was to be 'dealt with'.

'Oh hamburgers!' Marjorine 'cursed'. Damien wasn't kidding when he said they didn't accept humans here, and that if anyone ever found it, she was surely dead. Which was kind of strange since this whole school was about peaceful co-existence.

After a few more explanations and questions answered, the teacher let them all leave informing them that classes were over for the day and that they will start tomorrow morning. After the teacher finished, all the students sat up and began leaving the classroom. Among them, Kurumu was one of the firsts to do so. And not so far behind her was Marjorine.

It didn't take long for Kurumu to stop and confront Marjorine once again. "Ok, why are you following me?" And once again the blond was at lost for an answer. "What do you want?" The bluenette asked almost daringly.

"I..I just…" Marjornie began," I saw you frowning most of the time back on class. And I… I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"Why would you care?" Kurumu asked eyeing the girl for some kind of suspicious act. "I don't even know you!"

"Well…I was thinking …since you helped me….maybe…I could…help you…?" The blond girl finally confessed with lots of difficulty. She looked really nervous, which didn't help her case at all.

"You? Help me?" Kurumu asked in an incredulous manner. At mere glance she could tell the blond was small fry, probably a very low class monster with next to none special qualities if her external appearance was any indication.

"Yes and maybe… we could be…friends?"

'Friends? Ha!' Kurrumu thought.

The mere idea of them being friends was laughable. Besides, she didn't have time to waste for 'friends'. She had a mission and nothing would stay in her way to accomplish it.

'Then again…' She had been hearing some rumors around campus about a girl that could probably, could pose a small obstacle in the completion of her plan. She wasn't really worried, since she was the hottest and most desirable girl in school, but with the remote chance something could hypothetically happened, having a sidekick or a minion who wasn't one of his mindless slaves wasn't a bad idea after all.

Eyeing the blond girl in front of her more carefully, she reaffirmed her previous idea that she was nothing more than small fry. 'Cute face, but look at her body' She probably had body insecurities and wanted to leech off of someone as good looking as her to feed of the scraps she leaves behind.

Kurumu didn't have a problem with that as long as the blond girl knew her place, and did everything she told her to do.

"So you say you want to be 'friends', correct?" Once she got a nod in response, she continued.

"Very well! If you want to be 'friends' you have to help me accomplish my mission!"

"Mission? What kind of mission?" Marjorine asked a little worried. She just hoped Kurumu didn't ask her to help her in some kind of scheme that involved dangerous stuff, just like with Eric when she was younger.

"My mission to turn every male in Youkai Academy into my slaves!" Kurumu announced proudly.

'Oh hamburgers!' Slaves? This sounded just like one of Eric's plans. And incident with a Mel Gibson movie about Jesus came to mind.

"Um…why? Why do you want to make every boy at school your slave?" She was really worried not only because of the possible consequences such plans would entail, she was afraid she would end up as one too.

"Because that's what succubae do!" Kurumu explain not really caring she just broke one of the most important rules at this school. "So, are you gonna help or not?"

"Erm…"Marjorine was at loss here. She didn't expect for things to go so bad this quickly. I mean, turning people into slaves? That wasn't nice. But yet again, it wasn't as if she hadn't being involved with crazier plans. Hijacking a Nascar and taking a Chinese restaurant hostage with semi-automatic weapons came to mind.

Still, this was a very mean plan.

On the other hand, if she agrees to help Kurumu, maybe she could study the method she would use to turn boys into slaves and find a way to protect herself from becoming one of them. Being on her side would protect her more than not being on it.

" ! Whatever you say!" Marjorine finally agreed. Fearing what she got herself into this time.

"Perfect! Now I got you your first mission!"

Author Notes:

As you can see, I love to mention past South Park moments, but not all of them happened. For example, The 'Pandemic' episodes with the giant hamsters, guinea pigs, whatever...though I love them, they never actually happened in the canon of this story.

I don't remeber how the classes worked in R+V but I'm going to assume that Kurumu doesn't have classes with Moka or Tsukune.

Also, that Homeroom teacher I created is an OC, and his name is a pun. Try to figure out what his deal is.

[Edit] Screw you, FF spellcheck! It always screws with me every fucking time!