This is my first fanfiction. This is basically how I'm feeling right now that's why I decided to write. Anyways Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: all rights belong to CBS

Summary: I really suck at them. This about Sara Sidle.

Tired of being me

I am tired of pretending that everything is fine with me. Okay has become my favourite word. Tired of smiling even though inside I feel like crying. I feel so empty inside. It feels like I'm not living, I'm just existing. It hurts that no one knows what is going on my mind. Nobody even bothers to notice that I'm not okay. Because there's always a smile on my face. I want to be happy. I want someone when I say I'm okay, look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say I know you're not. I need a shoulder to cry on. There are so many emotions bottled up inside me, things I haven't told anyone. I know that it's harmful to keep all feelings inside for mind and body. But I can't do anything about it. Or I just don't want to.

I want to go away. Doesn't really matter where, I just want to do it. To other city or other country. Anywhere just not be here anymore. I want to leave all my problems, my life behind. It's not that I hate being here. I'm just so tired with the familiar faces, familiar places around me, the same routine, same everything. I need changes. And if I don't change anything in my life. I'll self-destruct myself.

I am tired of being sad.

Tired of being worthless.

Tired of feeling empty inside.

Tired of letting my past control my present.

Tired of dreaming a life I'll never have.

But most of all, I'm just tired of being me.

I need a break from my life, from everything. If I had chance to live somebody else's life even for one day I'll definetely take it. Because there are so little things here that make my happy, it had been days in my life when I didn't want to leave house, I just wanted to lay in bed , eat ice cream and watch movies all day long.

People say that everything will be okay in the end, if it's okay, it's not the end. After all things that happened in my life, I find it really hard to believe. But there are no options left for me, just wait and hope that life will get better.