.
The Strongest Feelings
Chapter One
by
REMDreams
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It was a warm Saturday afternoon, two weeks after Stiles had graduated from high school. It had ended bitter sweetly for the teen, but he knew there was nothing he could do now to change. Instead he had to move forward and look at the options left before him.
Derek still wanted a child, or more or less a family pack, to call his own. He'd talked to Stiles about it after every full moon in the most subtle of ways, but Stiles caught on to the werewolf's silent pleas for a family. The only thing holding the teenager back was whether or not he wanted to go to college. He'd talk to his father about going numerous of times, but they were always unsure of the money aspect. Derek had offered more than once to pay for Stiles tuition, but Stiles always declined him. Even if they were mates Stiles didn't want to take Derek's money.
So this left the last option, the option Derek liked the most, to get a job and start a family. Although this meant telling his father, Sheriff Stilinski that he was going to move into the Hale house and…start a family.
Stiles grunted, dropping his head in his hands as he tried to fathom telling his father he wanted to start a family with Derek.
"Are you okay?" Derek asked turning his attention to Stiles at the desk.
"Yeah, everything is peachy keen." Stiles mumbled.
Derek stood and went over to Stiles, resting a hand on each of his mate's shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No…" Stiles said sinking into his seat, his feelings of worry starting to vanish. Derek's little power to control Stiles' emotions was nice in times like these. "I'm…just unsure of what to do now. I mean I really want to go to college and all, but I also want to start a family with you I guess…"
"You guess?" Derek raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well…maybe it doesn't sound that sure…I mean…I don't even know how this is going to work. I am still a boy, Derek."
"I know that."
"Then how am I going to have a kid?" Stiles stared up at Derek waiting on his answer.
He doesn't even have an answer, I know he doesn't. I'm a boy, boys can't have children.
"There is a guy I know, he's…kind of a doctor."
"Kind of?"
"…yeah." Derek nodded his head slightly and Stiles eyed him before getting up.
"That sounds sketchy, what is he going to do? Implant a womb in me?"
"I don't know the details, Stiles. I just know he is good at his job." Derek said and nodded toward the window. "We can go there today if you want."
"Sure…I mean…I guess…I'd have to tell my dad though…you know…if I get fat for nine months…" Derek nodded and sat down on Stiles' bed.
"Aren't we supposed to have a family dinner tonight?" Derek asked and Stiles froze. He'd completely forgotten about it. It had been months since the last time the three of them sat down to a family dinner. It had ended bitter sweetly with Stiles' dad on high alert about Derek. He wanted to cry by the end.
"I hope it goes better than last time." Stiles mumbled. He headed out of his room and downstairs to check the fridge without a second thought. His father was working overtime from yesterday so it'd be another two hours before the Sheriff would be home so Derek joined him in the kitchen as Stiles began to put things together for dinner.
"What are you going to cook?" Derek asked leaning on the counter.
"Probably some quiche, chicken, and broccoli…"Stiles trailed off as he pulled things out to prepare.
"Do you want me to run to the store and get anything for you?" Derek asked pulling out his car keys. Since the fight from months back Derek had to ditch his black Camaro for a SUV, also black.
"No…wait, yeah I need some eggs." Stiles said quickly as he looked at the stuff on the counter. "I guess I'll put the chicken in the oven first."
"Alright I'll go to my house first and then head over to the store."
"Okay…" Stiles said zoning out as he looked for pots and pans to cook in. Derek grinned to himself and left his busy mate while he went to do other things.
Stiles was so busy fixing dinner for a while that he didn't notice when his father came home a half hour early. The sheriff came into the kitchen to find his son busy as a bee fixing things for dinner.
"You're cooking a lot." Sheriff Stilinski said staring over his son's shoulder.
"Hey dad, yeah…we have dinner with Derek tonight." Stiles said with a smile, but then his smile quickly faded as he realized his mate hadn't returned from the store yet.
"Oh yeah…Derek…everything okay?" His father asked noticing his son's face fall.
"Yeah…I'm okay. He was supposed to be here a little earlier than this…" Stiles glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned. Where was his mate?
"Well maybe he decided to do something else." His father said removing his coat and going back into the living room.
"Dad!" Stiles said following his father into the living room. "Dad, don't be mean to Derek again. Don't…just…be nice!"
"Stiles, I don't need to be lectured."
"Dad…" Stiles stared at his father holding his breath before his father nodded.
"I'm trying Stiles." His father said before he turned to head upstairs. "Call me when he gets here." His father said heading up.
Stiles sighed and returned to the kitchen feeling a little defeated. Right as he was finishing up chopping the mushrooms there was a knock on the door. Stiles practically threw the knife as he ran to the front door, swinging it opened revealing Derek with a shopping bag.
"I didn't know I would be so missed." Derek said holding two cartons of eggs.
"Where have you been?"
"I told you I had to stop by my house."
"I thought you bought an apartment?"
"I don't want to live there forever." Derek said stepping inside the house. "Your father is here." Derek said it as a statement, and less a question.
"Yeah, he is upstairs taking a shower." Stiles said hurrying into the kitchen to start cracking eggs. Derek followed behind and sat at the kitchen table watching as Stiles finished the preparing the quiche and put it in the oven.
Stiles sat down at the table with Derek with a hard sigh. He took another deep breath and rested his head on the table.
"Relax." Derek said touching Stiles' arm. The teenager slowly started to relax as he heard his father coming downstairs.
"My dad his coming." He mumbled slowly raising his head. Mr. Stilinski entered the kitchen and Stiles relaxed mood quickly shot back up to anxiety.
"Derek Hale." The Sheriff said as Derek stood to greet Stiles' father.
"Sheriff Stilinski." The black haired man extended his hand to shake with the elder's.
"What have you been up to?" Mr. Stilinski asked as they both sat down.
"I've been working; repairing my house."
"How has that been working for you?"
"Okay. I've rebuilt the roof, knocked out some more walls to open it up, and now I'm installing flooring." Mr. Stilinski nodded slowly rubbing his chin as he did so.
"We're having chicken for dinner." Stiles piped in feeling a little awkward. Both men turned to him and the teen wanted to disappear.
"I'm sure it'll taste great, Stiles." Derek smiled at his mate and Stiles returned the gesture. As he stared into this mates eyes all of his worries started to melt, although his father's glaring eyes at the two did cut the moment a little short.
"Stiles, how is that quiche doing?" His father asked.
"I just put it in the oven." The teen replied a little confused.
"I think you should check it." Sheriff Stilinski said sitting back in his seat.
"But I just-"
"Go check it."
"Fine!" Stiles stood. "I'll go check the quiche." Stiles mumbled as he walked away to the main part of the kitchen to check the food.
The sheriff turned his eyes to Derek who was sitting across from him as cool as a cucumber. "I hope you know I have you my eye on you."
"I'm not hiding anything, Sheriff." Derek replied.
"You've been staying out of trouble?"
"Yes, most of my time is spent between working on my house and Stiles."
"Alright…I'm just making sure. I got a call in last night by your house."
"A call?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow just as Stiles returned from the kitchen.
"Still raw." The teen said sitting down and staring the two men. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing, we were just talking." Derek smiled at Stiles and the teen grinned back. "Have you had any time off lately, Sheriff?"
"No, I've been working around the clock." The sheriff said and Stiles nodded slowly.
"You need to take a break." The teen said in a smallish voice. "When is your vacation?"
"I keep pushing it back."
"Why?" Stiles was shocked. His father had worked a full three weeks straight with no time off and it was starting to get to him. He'd see his father so inconsistently over the past month that it was starting to feel like he didn't live there anymore. Despite the fact Derek was with him every night, his house still felt empty.
"We've just been busy."
"Let me come in and help."
"Stiles we've been over this." The sheriff shook his head. "You can't look at case files."
"I can sort them, and book people."
"Have you thought about a college yet?" The sheriff asked changing the subject. Stiles stared at his father for a moment.
"W-well…I've…I've been looking around. Yah know. It all depends on your take of college. Now a day's people don't need college you know."
"Yeah, but you're going." The sheriff said.
"I'm thinking about it." Stiles felt his stomach drop a little.
"Thinking about it?"
"I still need to get money to go…and I think it would be smart…to…get a job before I go? Or maybe hang around for a while…maybe…" The teen's voice grew smaller with each word until he fell silent at the table. Derek cleared his thought and asked if the chicken was done so that Stiles had a chance to leave and collect himself away from the table.
"You're not behind this, are you?" The sheriff asked Derek sternly.
Derek started back at the sheriff debating and picking his words carefully. "I'll support whichever decision Stiles makes." The werewolf replied.
The sheriff nodded slowly as his son returned a moment later.
"Dinner is done!"
The three of them ate in mostly silence in the beginning, but by the end Mr. Stilinski and Derek were having a conversation together about cars. Stiles' father had a love of old school cars and surprise to Stiles, so did Derek. The two actually found a small common ground by the end of the night and when the dinner was over Stiles felt like there might be hope for this relationship.
"I'll see you later." Stiles said as he walked Derek to the door.
"Enjoy your night." Derek said opening the door. He hugged Stiles and shook hands with the sheriff before exiting the house. Stiles closed the door and turned to his father with a big cheesy grin.
"What?" The sheriff asked.
"I'm just glad you two are talking finally." Stiles grinned.
"We were talking before Stiles."
"Interrogation isn't talking, dad."
The sheriff laughed. "You don't think so, huh?" Stiles smiled and started to head upstairs, but his father stopped him. "Stiles, you are planning on going to college, aren't you?"
Stiles turned around to face his father, he didn't want to have this conversation right at this moment, but his father was pressing the issue and he had no choice but to answer. "Actually…" Stiles took a deep breath. "I was thinking about getting a job…and…maybe…perhaps….slightly…"
"Stiles." His father crossed his arms.
"Moving in with Derek." He said quickly. He was expecting yelling from his father, but instead he got laughter. The sheriff laughed so hard that Stiles thought for a moment that maybe his father had gone insane, but his father quickly straightened up and stared at his son.
"You're kidding, right? There is no way I'm letting you move in with him."
"We just want thing to move forward, dad!" Stile defended himself, but soon regretted his choice of words.
"Move forward? Move forward where, Stiles? Do you want to tell me something?"
Stiles shook his head. "We've not married or anything, dad."
"That's right! You're not! So I don't want to hear you say 'I want to move in with Derek Hale' again!"
"Dad, you're being unreasonable!"
"Oh, I'm being unreasonable?" The sheriff scoffed.
"Yes!"
"Stiles you are a child!"
"Not in the eyes of the law, which may I remind you is you!"
"Go to your room. I'm not having his conversation with you. I refuse." The sheriff started to walk pass Stiles.
"No! Dad, I'm serious!" Stiles grabbed his father's arm. "I want to move in with Derek."
"And what?" The Sheriff spun around and stared at his son.
"What do you mean, and what?"
Mr. Stilinski shook his head. "Stiles, I'm not going to allow you to move out of this house and live with Derek. Your mother wouldn't want it."
"What do you know what mom would have wanted!? You spent all of your time working like right now!" Stiles shouted.
"I work hard to put food on this table for this family! I pay the bills! I'm allowing you to date a convicted murderer!"
"WHO WAS PROVEN INNOCENT!" Stiles screamed. He was tearing up now. He hated fighting with his father, and on top of that he hated bringing his mother into this.
"Go to your room Stiles." His father headed for the front door.
"Where are you going?" Stiles asked.
The sheriff put on his coat and opened the door. "I'm the adult, you're the child. I don't tell you where I'm going, you tell me." The sheriff said and with that he was gone.
Stiles yelled out of frustration and headed upstairs where Derek was waiting for him at the top of the steps. The older man took the boy in his arms and held him as Stiles started to cry. "This is bullshit!" Stiles yelled into Derek's chest.
Derek kissed the top of Stiles head and started to relax his mate, calming the boy down as much as he could until finally Stiles managed to stop crying. Derek picked his mate up and carried him into his room, setting him on the bed getting in next to him.
"I have to go find him." Stiles said after a silent moment.
"Just stay here and calm down." Derek said wiping the younger's cheek.
"I'm calm…" Stiles said and truly he was. He felt empty on the inside, but nonetheless he felt calm. He was afraid his father go out drinking, or would get into a car accident, or any other horrible thing that could happen. This brought his anxiety up more, causing his chest to feel tight, but once again Derek relaxed him until there was an empty emotion there.
Stiles shook his head. "I hate this."
"I know." Derek rubbed his shoulder. "But things will get better and he'll understand."
"What if you doesn't, Derek? What if he never really can wrap his head around all of this? What do I tell him when I show up one day with a kid and say hey, here is you're grandson, no woman required?"
"When we cross that bridge we'll think about it. Until then…let's just concentrate on something else."
"Like what?"
"Sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. Besides it's getting pretty late." Derek said removing his shirt.
"I-"
"No, sleep." Derek said turning off the lights.
Stiles let out a huge sigh. He didn't want to sleep, he wanted to worry, but instead of fighting his mate he closed his eyes against his own feelings.
.
.
.
It was dark, and the light above him was flickering on and off as he tried to understand where he was, but everything was unfamiliar. It was dark, damp, and smelled of mold and urine. He was frighten.
"Stilllllles…" A man's voice groaned out his name not too far away. The teen looked around trying to find the source but unable to. His body movements were limited.
"Stiiiiiilllllles~!" The voice called out again, this time closer, but longer, almost as if he was trying to attracted him.
"STILES!" It screamed from a completely different direction, causing the teenager to jump in fear and biting his lip in the process, blood started to ooze from his mouth.
"Who's there?" The teenager asked after a moment.
"Oh, Stiles!" The voice said getting closer, its footsteps heavy on wet concrete floors. "Where have you been?" The male voice laughed for a while, his voice echoing all around the boy.
"Who are you?!" Stiles yelled looking around in the darkness just outside of the flickering light. Fear had already crept into him long ago, and now he was running off of adrenalin, despite his chest tightening up, like a ton of bricks were firmly on top of him.
"STILES!" The voice screamed again, this time so close to the teenager's ear that he screamed. He heard the person behind him breathing, felt the heat from his body radiate off of him.
"W-what do you want?" The teenager cried, his voice cracking.
"What do I want? What do you want?" He laughed before he grabbed Stiles from behind and started to choke the teenager. Stiles tried to reach up and stop him, but his arms were tied. He gasped for air as the man laughed, tears streaming down his face as the man laughed.
"Who's scared now, Stiles? WHO!? TELL ME!" The man screamed into the boy's ear. "TELL ME!" The man started to shake Stiles as he gasped and choked for air.
Screaming
Screaming
Screaming
Stiles woke up screaming, his mind racing a thousand miles a minute. He was still screaming when the lights were turned on, and screamed still when Derek held him in his arms trying to comfort him.
"Let go of me! Let go of me!" Stiles screamed, his voice growing horse.
"Stiles! Stiles relax! It's okay!" Derek said trying to calm his mate from his night terror.
Peter.
Stiles tried to break away from Derek for a while until he realized he was back, in his room, safe.
"I'm okay!" Stiles gasped. "I'm fine!" The teen wheezed as he tried to control his breathing, tears streaming down his face. "I'm okay!"
"You're not okay." Derek said refusing to let Stiles go. Stiles nightmares never stopped from months back and they were growing worse by the week. Some nights it was okay, they weren't that bad, but others, like tonight, were unbearable. For a while he kept them a secret from Derek, but it became impossible lately to stop himself from screaming himself awake. It was impossible to hide the tears, the coughing and choking. Derek wasn't stupid, and Stiles was pretty sure he knew for a while but was waiting for Stiles to tell him.
Some nights Stiles would wait until Derek went to sleep and popped a few pills, or took a few energy drinks so he could stay up all night long. It wasn't healthy, he was sure it was dangerous to not sleep three or four days straight, but he refused to dream about death, blood, murder, hate, or fears. They were driving him crazy, sleep was his enemy. But now, it was worse than just an enemy.
"I'm okay, Derek." Stiles breathed through his mouth. "You can let go."
"No."
"Derek."
"You need help."
"I don't need help Derek, I'm fine."
"Stiles, I'm not stupid. You've been dealing with this for months. I've been standing by silently waiting for you to say something or speak up or ask for help but you haven't."
I knew it.
"I'm okay."
"No, you aren't!" Derek turned Stiles around in his arms so he was facing him. "You need help."
"It's not that bad!"
"Last night you bit me when I tried to calm you down. Three nights before that you were screaming in your sleep and your father came in and I had to hide. The night before that one you scratched you skin raw on your chest. Stiles, this is painful to stand by and watch. I can't do that anymore. You…you really need help. I refuse to let you just tear yourself apart."
Stiles didn't say anything, instead he just hid himself in Derek's chest. It was true. All of it, and more. That night when he scratched his chest until it started to bleed he wanted to tell Derek, but instead he came up with a very thoughtful lie.
"I know you haven't been sleeping either, Stiles." Derek said softly. "I saw the bottles."
Stiles started to tear up.
"I know it's scary."
"You have no idea." Stiles cried.
"It'll get better, but first you have to tell me." Derek said rubbing Stiles' back. "Please, tell me."
"I'm scared." Stiles whispered.
"I know…I know…"
.
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HELLO EVERYONE!
I'm back with the Sequel to Unwillingly Willing. After a long delay I can finally write again! Whooa!
Sorry for the weird formatting of this piece. This is the second time I uploaded it; I guess they are doing something with the site. But let's hope everything is okay now, yeah?
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and thank you for reading 3
I encourage everyone to write a review or comment, even if it's small! I read all of your comments and it makes me feel like I'm not writing for myself, ya know?
Bye! 3