Romeo and Juliet: Yoroiden Style
Hello and welcome to Angel's theater. This is your host, Saturn's Angel. I decided to try my hand at directing and revising a play of my choosing....and using anime characters as the actors. Today, I will be directing in the famous play, "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet," written by William Shakespeare. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers belong to their respective Japanese companies, and Romeo and Juliet belong to the brilliant William Shakespeare.
Note: I will translate part of this so you can understand it better.
Here's a guide:
Thy-means "your"
Thee and Thou- means "you"
Doth and Dost- I think this means "does"
Art-means "are"
Warnings: This contains Shounen-ai. If ya can't handle it...please don't read. If somebody makes a comment about how disgusting this story was and how it traumatized young minds then I will personally take your ass out 'cuz I warned you people! Do not flame when a warning is clearly stated before the actual story.
Romeo and Juliet: A Tale of Tragedy
RYO: Tragedy is right.
ANGEL *glares* : Shut up Fire Boy! I'm on a sugar high and I can, and will, do anything!!
RYO: ............
ANGEL *smug* : Thought so.
Turns to Yoroiden Samurai Trooper cast.
SHU: I wanna go home!
ANGEL *ignores Shu* : Okay.
Begins to write rapidly on her clipboard.
ANGEL: Here are your roles. *Looks up to see nobody paying attention to her and talking amongst themselves*
ANGEL ^^;: Ahem!
Y. S. T. CAST: *keeps talking*
ANGEL: Ahem!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *still talking*
ANGEL: AHEM!!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *still talking*
ANGEL *loses patience* : SHUT UP YOU HEATHENS!!!!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *sweatdrops and looks at authoress*
ANGEL *smiling* : Okay! Here are your roles....
Makes show of flipping pages
ANGEL: Romeo will be....Seiji!
NAAZA: Awww, I wanted to be Romeo!
Rest of Yoroiden Cast backs away slowly from the Doku Masho
ANGEL ^^;: Anyway...Juliet will be.......Ryo!
Y. S. T. CAST: NANI?!?!?!?!
RYO ^.^: Oh Kami....
SHIN: Anou....excuse me.
ANGEL: Yes sweetie?
SHIN ^_^;: If you don't mind me saying so...
ANGEL *smiles* : I don't mind at all.
SHIN: Shouldn't Juliet go to a female actor?
ANGEL: Actually Shin, back then, men played all the roles in plays, but I'm really doing this for revenge.
RYO *wailing* : What did I ever do to you?!?
ANGEL: Nothing actually. I just wanted to see you in a dress.
RYO: I am not wearing a dress.
ANGEL: Oh yes you are.
RYO: No I'm not!!
ANGEL: HAI!!
RYO: IIE!!
ANGEL: HAI!!
RYO: IIE!!
ANGEL: *snaps fingers and Ryo suddenly turns silent*
RYO *grabs throat* : !!!!!!!!!!!!
ANGEL *grinning evilly* : Let's continue. Mercutio will be played by Shin and Benvolio will be played by Shu.
SHU: Who are they?
ANGEL: They're Romeo's best friends.
SHIN AND SHU: Could be worse.
ANGEL: The Chorus will be played by everyone. Prince Escalus will go to Arago.
ARAGO: Yes! I'm royalty! Do I get to kill anybody? Do I get to rule my land with an iron fist
and sit on my throne eating the finest foods while everyone else starves to death? Do I get to tax the hell out of people just because I want to be rich and a lack of morals?
ANGEL: Iiiiieee.......
ARAGO: Kuso!
ANGEL: Count Paris will go to Touma. The role of Montague will go to Rajura and Capulet to Shuten. Their Ladies will be Nasuti and Kayura respectively.
NASUTI: I refuse to play Lady Montague. Is it possible that I can get a divorce?
ANGEL: IIE!! Divorce didn't exist back then! Now everyone shut up so I can read this! Tybalt will go to Anubis. Friar Laurence will be played by Kaosu and Friar John by Dara. Balthasar, servant to Romeo, will go to Jun.
SEIJI: Does that brat have to be in this horrible excuse for a play?
ANGEL: Unfortunately, but only because I ran out of characters.
SEIJI: Shimatta.
ANGEL: Don't worry. He won't get a big role. Where is he anyway?
TOUMA: Who cares?
ANGEL: Gotta point there. Anyway. Abram will be played by some random youja. Sampson will be played by Byakuen and Gregory by Kokuen-Oh.
RYO *suddenly regains voice* : Hold on, they're toras! How are we supposed to understand what they're saying?
ANGEL: Magic, Hot Stuff...Hot Stuff...hey I made a pun.
RYO: ..........We're happy for you.
ANGEL *peppy* : Thanx!! Now let's see Peter and the Apothecary will be played by Naaza.
SHUTEN: How come he gets two characters?
ANGEL: What, you want another role?
SHUTEN: IIE!!!! I mean, no thank you, I'm fine.
ANGEL: Okay, the three Musicians will be played be Ryo, Shu, and Seiji on the bass, drums, and guitar.
TOUMA: Doesn't this take place during the 15th century?
ANGEL: That's right Honey. But I decided to make it interesting.
TOUMA: And Ryo in a dress isn't interesting enough?
ANGEL: Nope.
TOUMA: .......
ANGEL: Okay, an unknown Officer will be played by Ojisan Chin, and the Nurse to Juliet will be played by Byakuen because, hell it makes sense. I will be the director and prompter and a friend of mine will do the change of scenery and lighting. Come on out Betha!
BETHA *chirps* : Hiya!
RAJURA: Good Lord there's another one!
ANUBIS: Do you think we can escape?
ANGEL *cackles* : There's no escaping!
Y. S. T. CAST and BETHA: ^^;;;
ANGEL: Okay peoples! Let the torture, I mean play, begin. COSTUMES!!
Snaps fingers and the Y. S. T. Cast is dressed in their costumes complete with make-up. Don't ask, it's authoress magic!!
RYO *looks at dress with disgust* : Shoot me. Just shoot me.
ANGEL: Sorry, can't get out that easily. But I can give you interesting undergarments.
Snaps fingers again. Ryo jumps and gives and indignant squawk.
ANGEL: Ummm, bigger than that.
RYO: ^~^;
ANGEL: Now that we finally got ourselves together, let the play begin!
*Sits down in chair with "Saturn's Angel" on the back and claps hands*
ANGEL: Places! Lights!
BETHA: Gotcha! *pans lights to center of stage*
Act I, Scene I
RYO: This dress itches!
ANGEL: That's not my problem.
RYO: And these heels hurt, how the hell am I supposed to walk in them?!
ANGEL: Live with it!
Act I, Scene I
SHU: Tights?! I will not wear tights!
RYO: Why don't you try wearing a dress!
ANGEL: Stop complaining, both of you!
Act I, Scene I
SEIJI: This outfit clashes! Can't I wear something else?
ANGEL: IIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!
Finally Act I, Scene I
Enter Chorus
After much cursing and fighting for a place, the play begins.
Y. S. T. CAST *sings* :
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break new mutiny,
Where citizens' blood makes fellow citizens' hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes...
SHU: I don't understand any of it! I thought you were going to translate this!
ANGEL: I was, but if I did, the song wouldn't rhyme. Now shut up and sing.
Y. S. T. CAST:
...........A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;
RYO *to Seiji* : Do we have to go through with this?
SEIJI: Just play along....nice dress.
RYO *frowns* : Seiji!
SEIJI: No seriously, I like it. You look good in it.
RYO: Thanks, I guess.
SEIJI: But you know what? You'll look better without it.
RYO O.O: *blushes*
ANGEL: Seiji!! We'll have none of that!!
Y. S. T. CAST:
.............Whose misadventured piteous overthrows,
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-marked love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, naught could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage....
KAYURA: TWO HOURS?!? I have bore the humiliation in silence but this tears it!!!
SHUTEN: I think I will be sick.
RYO: Two hours in this dress? IIE!
ANGEL: All of you, SING!!!
Y. S. T. CAST:
..............The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
TOUMA: Don't be fools! Leave while you can!
SHIN: Hurry, if you want to live! She's insane, save yourselves!
ANGEL: GUYS!!!
Y. S. T. Cast exits. Curtains part to show a street lined with buildings. Byakuen and Kokuen-Oh enter as
Sampson and Gregory of the House of Capulet.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Gregory, on my word, we'll not suffer insults.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: No, for then we shall be colliers.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I mean, an we be in anger, we'll draw.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: How the hell are we supposed to draw our swords? We're toras!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *shrugs* : Don't know, but we aren't supposed to talk either.
ANGEL: Just go along with it.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Fine. Ahem...Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of hangman's noose.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I strike quickly, being moved.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: A dog of the House of Montague moves me.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou are moved thou runn'st away. *To Byakuen* What the hell did this idiot just say?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I'm not sure, but my character isn't acting any more intelligent.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To hell with this, let's go.
Authoress appears out of nowhere.
ANGEL: Leave and there will be two new tora rugs decorating my room!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *sweatdropping* : Anou, we'll stay.
ANGEL: Good. Continue.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'Tis true; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels....
NASUTI, KAYURA, AND BETHA: WE RESENT THAT!!
ANGEL: I don't like it either but it's the 15th century.
NASUTI, KAYURA, AND BETHA: HAVE YOU NO PRIDE?!?!
SHUTEN *to Kaosu* : Since when did they start championing women's rights?
KAOSU: Shhh. Don't let them hear you. The one thing you never do is question women's ideals. Pretty soon they'll put you in the middle and you'll never hear the end of it. Best stay low and keep your mouth shut.
SHUTEN: Okay.......
ANGEL: We'll discuss this after the play. Go on Yaku-chan.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: ....are ever thrust to the wall....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: They were raped!?!
ANGEL: It means you are pushed from your place. It's proverbial.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Oh.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Anyway....Therefore I will push Montague's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: The quarrel is between our master, and us their men.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'Tis all one. I will show myself a tyrant. When I have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the maids....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: You wouldn't!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Don't be stupid! I was going to say, 'I will cut off their heads.'
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Gomen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'S okay. This play makes anyone's brain fry.
ANGEL: I hate to interrupt you, but the play.....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Keep your shirt on, geez. *turns to Byakuen* The heads of the maids?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maiden-heads. What's the difference?
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: They must take it in physical sensation.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Me they shall feel while I am able to stand; and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY ^_^;: Pretty piece of flesh....ooookaaaaaay.
ANGEL: Just say your line.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: 'Tis well thou art not fish....duh!
ANGEL *threatening* : Kokuen-Oh....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: If thou hadst, thou hadst been the cheapest fish. Draw thy sword! Here comes two of the House of Montagues.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: How are we supposed to do that?
ANGEL: Do the best you can.
Enter two other Servingmen of the House of Montague, a youja as Abram and Jun (who appeared out of nowhere) as Balthasar
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *sword in mouth but still able to talk* : My naked weapon is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: How? Turn thy back and run?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Fear me not.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *sarcastically* : No, indeed. I fear thee.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Let us have the law on our sides; let them begin.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they wish.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them *mutters* if I had one...*returns to line* which is disgrace to them if they bear it.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Bite your thumb? What does that mean?!
ANGEL *sighing* : It means an insulting gesture...you know...like flicking someone off.
BYAKUEN/GREGORY: I see...
ANGEL: You obviously don't. Now it's the youja's line.
YOUJA: My name is Bob. And unlike the other uncultured youja that inhabit Youja-kai, I enjoy the arts and I must say how....pleased I am that we are finally doing something cultural.
NAAZA: Since when did a youja have a name?
KAYURA: I'm not sure.....
ANGEL ^_^; : Bob the Youja...Hookayyyy. Anyway, it's your line.
BOB/ABRAM: As you wish my lady...* to Byakuen and Kokuen-Oh* Do you bite your thumb at us sir?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I do bite my thumb, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? Wait a minute...didn't I say that already?
ANGEL: Yes but...
BOB/ABRAM: That, my dear girl, is unnecessary repetition. I had already interrogated if he made a insulting gesture, he made an affirmative. Instead, I should be acknowledging this and making an angry retort, not asking the same question again like some simpleton.
ANGEL: Anou.......I agree. But please continue.
BOB/ABRAM: Very well. But if any more of this foolishness continues, I will be forced to leave.
ANGEL: Anou, let's just get on with it. Byakuen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *aside to Kokuen-Oh* : Is the law on our side if I say ay?
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *aside to Byakuen* : No.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: But you just said you did.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I know, but my line says that I didn't.
BOB/ABRAM: In other words, you are a coward!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *angrily* : I am not!
BOB/ABRAM: Ha!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Keep talkin' tin can and I'll...
ANGEL: HEY!!!!! SHUT UP, SAY YOUR LINES, OR DOING THIS PLAY WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!!!
JUN/BALTHASAR: EEP!
ANGEL *taking deep breath* : This will be the last time I repeat myself. Just. Do. Your. Lines.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To think we're trapped with this psycho....Do you quarrel, sir?
BOB/ABRAM: Quarrel, sir? No, sir.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
BOB/ABRAM: No better.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Well, sir.
Enter Shu as Benvolio
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *aside to Byakuen* : Say "better." Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Yes, better, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: You lie.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy smashing blow!
Byakuen fights Bob, and Kokuen-Oh takes on a seriously frightened Jun. Both tigers aren't holding back. Jun tries to escape the too happy Kokuen-Oh.
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right! Brawl!
ANGEL: Er, Shu.
SHU/BENVOLIO: What?
ANGEL: You're trying to stop the fight.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Masaka! Okay....Part fools! Put up your swords. You know not what you do. *mutters* I can't believe this is coming out of my mouth.
Here comes Anubis as Tybalt of the House of Capulet, Juliet's cousin.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: What, art thou drawn among these cowardly servants? Turn thee Benvolio! Look upon thy death! *to himself* hey, I like this guy...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Bring it on Masho!
ANGEL: Shu.
SHU/BENVOLIO: What is it now?
ANGEL: Sorry, but Benvolio's the peace maker.
SHU/BENVOLIO: How come I get this wimpy character!
ANGEL: Just go along with it.
SHU/BENVOLIO *indignant* : Fine...I do but keep the peace. Put up they sword, or manage it to part these men with me.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: What, drawn, and talk of peace? I hate the word as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Have at thee, coward! *to himself* I really like this guy...
They begin to fight, both looking a little too happy. Enter Ojisan Chin as the unknown Officer and three equally unknown citizens with clubs.
CHIN/OFFICER: Clubs, spears, cutting blades! Strike! Beat them down!
CITIZENS: Down with the Capulets! Down with the Montagues!
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right! Free for all!
ANGEL *looking heavenward* : What did I do to deserve this?
Betha pops out of nowhere with a parchment.
BETHA: You did this! Let's see, you stayed up later than you were supposed to, didn't eat your veggies, hit your sister, called your sister names, got thrown off the bus for fighting, bullied a sixth grader into submission...
ANGEL: Stop! I get the idea!
Enter Shuten as Capulet and Kayura as Lady Capulet
SHUTEN/CAPULET: What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
KAYURA/LADY CAPULET: I take it Capulet is slightly eccentric?
ANGEL: It's in the script.
KAYURA/LADY CAPULET: Whatever...A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a sword? *to authoress who is backstage* Why is this moron calling for a crutch?
ANGEL: Oh, shut up. And Shuten, sometime in this century...
SHUTEN/CAPULET: My sword, I say! Old Montague is come and flourishes his blade in defiance of me.
Enter Rajura as Montague and Nasuti as Lady Montague
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Thou villain Capulet-Hold me not, let me go.
NASUTI/LADY MONTAGUE *holds Rajura's arm in a firm grip* : Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: No, seriously, let go. I'm losing circulation to my arm.
NASUTI/LADY MONTAGUE: Gomen.
Arago walks in as Prince Escalus of Verona, with his train of youja that were randomly selected for their role.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Rebellion subjects, enemies to peace, you are my kind of people!
ANGEL: Arago, not today.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Humph. Rebellion subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbor-stained steel...happy now? Because you just ruined my fun.
ANGEL: Ecstatic. Go on.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: ......Will they not hear? What, ho! You men, you beasts,
that quench the Wildfire...
RYO: Nani?!? (Authors Note: I know I was going by Y. S. T., but God I couldn't help myself!)
ANGEL: Arago, that's fire, not Wildfire.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Oops, you know what? I've been saying Wildfire for so long it kinda slipped.
ANGEL: Whatever.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Where was I? I think I'm lost.
NAAZA *to Shin* : How could he be lost it if he never had it?
SHIN *laughing* : Too right!
ANGEL: You were at, 'That quench the fire...'
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Oh yeah! Ahem. That quench the fire of you pernicious rage,
With purple fountains issuing from your veins...!
RYO: And here I thought blood was red.
ARAGO/ESCALUS *glares at Ryo* : ...On the pain of torture, from those bloody hands,
Throw your badly made weapons to the ground,
and hear the sentence of your moved prince.
Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
by thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
SHUTEN/CAPULET: We're not old.
SEIJI *rolling eyes* : So says a man who is 400+ years of age...
SHUTEN/CAPULET: Grrr...
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Shut up the both of you! This is my only major speech! *returns to monologue* Have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets,
and made Verona's ancient citizens,
Cast by their staffs and costumes appropriate for the aged,
To wield old spears, in hands as old,
rusted with peace, to part your malignant hate.
If ever you disturb our streets again,
your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace...and may your flesh be eaten away by the nether acid, your bones crushed between the great stones, and your soul be cast away for eternity into the black nothingness of hell!
ALL: ??????????????
ARAGO/ESCALUS *looks at all the blank faces* : Anou *cough* Now, for this time all the rest depart away.
You Capulet, shall go along with me;
And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
to know our farther pleasure in this case,
to old Freetown, our common judgment place.
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.
Everybody leaves except for Rajura, Nasuti, and Shu.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Who reopened this quarrel of long standing? Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Yep. Here were the servants of your adversary, and yours, close fighting here I did approach. I drew to part them *to himself* much as I didn't want to except a certain lunatic authoress who got this crazy idea made me...*continues* In the instant came the fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared; which, as he breathed defiance to my ears...*to himself again* not to mention his breath could have used a Tic-Tac...*continues once more* He swung about his head and cut the winds...*snicker*
Which, not at all hurt therewith, hissed him in scorn. While we were interchanging thrusts and blows, came more and more, and fought on part and part, till the Prince came, who parted either part.
NASUTI/LADY M: O, where is Seiji, I mean, Romeo? Saw you him today? Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Madam, an hour before the sun rose, a troubled mind, much like the authoress's...
ANGEL: Excuse me?!?
SHU/BENVOLIO: ....drove me to walk abroad; where, underneath the grove of sycamore that westward rooteth from this city side...why couldn't he just say, 'grew west of the city?'
ANGEL: Shu...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Okay...so early walking did I see your son. Towards him I made, but he was wary of me, and stole into the cover of the wood. I, measuring his feelings by my own, which then desired solitude. Being one too many by my weary self, pursued my humor, not pursuing his, and gladly shunned who gladly fled from me.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: I can't believe it, Shu was able to give an intelligent answer.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Say that again Spider-freak!
ANGEL: You know, I hate repeating myself so I will just say this. No food during intermission and death to all spiders....
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Fiend!
SHU/BENVOLIO: NO! I need my food! How will I survive?! Okay, okay, I give! Just let me eat!
ANGEL: ....That worked better than I thought. Continue.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Many a morning hath he there been seen, with tears augmenting the fresh morning's dew...
SEIJI: I was crying! What kind of wimp is this guy!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Quiet Korin!...adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs; but all so soon as the all-cheering sun. Should in the farthest East begin to draw, the shady curtains of the dawn's bed. Away from light steals home my melancholy son, and private in his chamber pens himself. Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out, and makes himself an artificial night.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: I do that!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE *grinds teeth* : Black and portentous must this mood prove, unless good counsel may the cause remove. Oh, terrific, now the dolt is rhyming.
SHU/BENVOLIO: My not-so-noble uncle, do you know the cause?
ANGEL: That's noble uncle...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Who cares?!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE *still obviously trying to say his lines* : I neither know it nor can learn of him
SHU/BENVOLIO: Have you importuned him by any means?
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: You mean annoy the hell out of him? Yes, by myself and many other friends; but he, his own affections' counselor, is to himself-I will not say how true-but to himself so secret and so close, so far from being measured and discovery. As is the bud bit with an envious worm, whatever the hell that means, 'ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air...
SEIJI: Nani?!?!?!
RYO: *snicker*
SEIJI: At least I'm not in drag.
RYO *infamous temper beginning to take hold* : Say. That. Again.
ANGEL: Rajura, ignore them. *looks behind to see Ryo and Seiji pounding the daylights out of each other* Oh my...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Ten bucks says Seiji wins.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: You're on Kongo.
*both wince at the ferocity of the fight*
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Oh, that must sting.
SHU/BENVOLIO *voiced in awe* : I did not know heels could be used that way.
BETHA: Go Ryo! Kick his ass! I have twenty ridin' on ya!
SHIN: Somebody stop them!
NAAZA: Are you nuts? And lose twenty dollars to psycho number 2?!
TOUMA: This is unnecessary! Stop this now!
SHUTEN: They aren't listening...
ANGEL *looking ticked* : That's it! I've had enough of this! *leaps forward and a frying pan mysteriously appears in her hand. With abnormal strength, she knocked them both out.*
RYO AND SEIJI: @_@
ANGEL *turning to others* : Does anybody else want to interrupt my play?! No? Good. Go on Rajura. *drags Ryo and Seiji away*
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: ...or dedicate his beauty to the sun. Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow, we would as willingly give cure as know.
Enter Seiji as Romeo rubbing the back of his head, grumbling about certain authoresses who liked to torture other people for their own pleasure
ANGEL: Yep! And proud of it!
SEIJI/ROMEO: Darn her! She just better be glad my hair cushioned the blow.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Oookayyy. I'll just say my line now...see, where he comes. So please you step aside, I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: I would thou were so happy by thy stay to hear true confession. Come, madam, let's away....Thank Kami.
Exit Montague and Lady Montague
SHU/BENVOLIO: Good morning, cousin!
SEIJI/ROMEO *muttering* : It would be a better one if I weren't here.
SHU/BENVOLIO ^_^;: Is this a bad time to be talking to you...
SEIJI/ROMEO: Iie, iie, let's just get this over with...Is the day so young?
SHU/BENVOLIO: But new struck nine.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Ay me! Sad hours seem long. Was that my father that went hence so fast?
SHU/BENVOLIO: It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
SEIJI/ROMEO: Not having which having makes them short.
SHU/BENVOLIO: In love?
SEIJI/ROMEO *snickering* : Yeah right!
ANGEL: Seiji...SAY IT!!!!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: Fine.......Out-
SHU/BENVOLIO: Of love?
SEIJI/ROMEO: Out of her favor where I am in love.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Alas that love, so gentle in his appearance, should be so tyrannous and rough in being experienced!
SEIJI/ROMEO *with no enthusiasm what-so-ever* : Yeah...whatever...Alas that love, whose sight is blindfolded still, should without eyes see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness...hold on, is he just contradicting himself?
ANGEL: Quiet blondie.
SEIJI/ROMEO *indignant* : ...serious vanity, misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this. Dost thou not laugh?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Hai. *bursts out laughing*
SEIJI/ROMEO: It's not my fault this guy's a love sick sap.
ANGEL: Keep it up you two...
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right, we'll behave...*slips to his line* No cousin, I rather weep.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Good heart...HEART?!?
ANGEL *sighing* : Not in the way you think.
SEIJI/ROMEO: ...Good heart, at what?
SHU/BENVOLIO: At they good heart's oppression.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Why, such is love's transgression. *pauses to sweatdrop then continues*
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast...*shakes head, refusing to make any kind of statement to that*
which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest.
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own,
love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
a choking gall, and a preserving sweet.
Farewell, my cousin...*turning to authoress* why was he rhyming?! I mean come on! People don't do that naturally!
ANGEL: Shush you.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Soft! I will go along. An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Tut! I have lost myself; I am not here; This is not Romeo...Then who the hell is he?!?
ANGEL: Seiji!!!!! Arrrrrggh!!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: ....This is not Romeo, he's some other where. Okay....
SHU/BENVOLIO: When's intermission?
ANGEL: Anou, after Act II.
SHU/BENVOLIO: But that's so far away...
ANGEL: Maybe if you people stop screwing up, it wouldn't take forever.
SHU/BENVOLIO: *sigh* Tell me seriously, who is that you love?
SEIJI/ROMEO: What, shall I groan and tell thee?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Groan? Why, no; but sadly tell me who.
SEIJI/ROMEO: But a sick man in sadness make his will.
Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!
In sadness cousin, I do love a woman...
SHU/BENVOLIO: I know seriously...anyway...I aimed so near when I supposed you loved.
SEIJI/ROMEO: A right good marksman. And she's fair I love.
SHU/BENVOLIO: A bright clean target, fair cousin, is soonest hit.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Well, in that hit you miss. She'll not be hit with Cupid's arrow. She hath Diana's wit, and, in strong armor of chastity well armed. From Love's weak childish bow she lives unharmed...You know what? I feel sorry for him.
SHU/BENVOLIO: So do I.
ANGEL: I do too, but you're the ones who are going to be sorry if you don't say your LINES!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: ....She gives me no chance to woo her, nor hope her lap to saint-seducing gold. O, she is rich in beauty; only poor. That, when she dies, she will leave no children to perpetuate her beauty...
NASUTI/LADY M: If you ask me, the girl is smart.
KAYURA/ LADY C: I agree.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Then she hath sworn that she will always love chaste?
SEIJI/ROMEO: She hath, and in that miserly economy makes huge waste;
for beauty, starved with her severity,
cuts beauty off from all posterity.
She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
to merit heaven by making me despair.
She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow,
do I live dead that live to tell it now.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Oh yeah, he's gone...I mean...Be ruled by me; forget to think of her.
SEIJI/ROMEO: O, teach me how I should forget to think!....No need for that Shu, this guy never had it...
SHU/BENVOLIO *trying not to laugh* : .....By giving *snort* liberty unto thine eyes. Examine *chortle* other beauties.
SEIJI/ROMEO: 'Tis the way,
To call hers (exquisite) to my mind more.
These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows,
Being black *????* puts us in mind they hide the fair.
He that is stricken blind cannot forget,
the precious treasure of his eyesight lost.
Show me a mistress that is surpassingly fair,
what doth her beauty serve but as a note.
Where I may read who passed that passing fair,
farewell, thou canst not teach me to forget.
SHU/BENVOLIO: I'll convince you otherwise, or else die in debt.
Both exit and curtains close for change in scenery.
End of Act I, Scene I
The second part of this story/play will be out soon, only your reviews will tell. Ja!
Hello and welcome to Angel's theater. This is your host, Saturn's Angel. I decided to try my hand at directing and revising a play of my choosing....and using anime characters as the actors. Today, I will be directing in the famous play, "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet," written by William Shakespeare. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers belong to their respective Japanese companies, and Romeo and Juliet belong to the brilliant William Shakespeare.
Note: I will translate part of this so you can understand it better.
Here's a guide:
Thy-means "your"
Thee and Thou- means "you"
Doth and Dost- I think this means "does"
Art-means "are"
Warnings: This contains Shounen-ai. If ya can't handle it...please don't read. If somebody makes a comment about how disgusting this story was and how it traumatized young minds then I will personally take your ass out 'cuz I warned you people! Do not flame when a warning is clearly stated before the actual story.
Romeo and Juliet: A Tale of Tragedy
RYO: Tragedy is right.
ANGEL *glares* : Shut up Fire Boy! I'm on a sugar high and I can, and will, do anything!!
RYO: ............
ANGEL *smug* : Thought so.
Turns to Yoroiden Samurai Trooper cast.
SHU: I wanna go home!
ANGEL *ignores Shu* : Okay.
Begins to write rapidly on her clipboard.
ANGEL: Here are your roles. *Looks up to see nobody paying attention to her and talking amongst themselves*
ANGEL ^^;: Ahem!
Y. S. T. CAST: *keeps talking*
ANGEL: Ahem!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *still talking*
ANGEL: AHEM!!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *still talking*
ANGEL *loses patience* : SHUT UP YOU HEATHENS!!!!!
Y. S. T. CAST: *sweatdrops and looks at authoress*
ANGEL *smiling* : Okay! Here are your roles....
Makes show of flipping pages
ANGEL: Romeo will be....Seiji!
NAAZA: Awww, I wanted to be Romeo!
Rest of Yoroiden Cast backs away slowly from the Doku Masho
ANGEL ^^;: Anyway...Juliet will be.......Ryo!
Y. S. T. CAST: NANI?!?!?!?!
RYO ^.^: Oh Kami....
SHIN: Anou....excuse me.
ANGEL: Yes sweetie?
SHIN ^_^;: If you don't mind me saying so...
ANGEL *smiles* : I don't mind at all.
SHIN: Shouldn't Juliet go to a female actor?
ANGEL: Actually Shin, back then, men played all the roles in plays, but I'm really doing this for revenge.
RYO *wailing* : What did I ever do to you?!?
ANGEL: Nothing actually. I just wanted to see you in a dress.
RYO: I am not wearing a dress.
ANGEL: Oh yes you are.
RYO: No I'm not!!
ANGEL: HAI!!
RYO: IIE!!
ANGEL: HAI!!
RYO: IIE!!
ANGEL: *snaps fingers and Ryo suddenly turns silent*
RYO *grabs throat* : !!!!!!!!!!!!
ANGEL *grinning evilly* : Let's continue. Mercutio will be played by Shin and Benvolio will be played by Shu.
SHU: Who are they?
ANGEL: They're Romeo's best friends.
SHIN AND SHU: Could be worse.
ANGEL: The Chorus will be played by everyone. Prince Escalus will go to Arago.
ARAGO: Yes! I'm royalty! Do I get to kill anybody? Do I get to rule my land with an iron fist
and sit on my throne eating the finest foods while everyone else starves to death? Do I get to tax the hell out of people just because I want to be rich and a lack of morals?
ANGEL: Iiiiieee.......
ARAGO: Kuso!
ANGEL: Count Paris will go to Touma. The role of Montague will go to Rajura and Capulet to Shuten. Their Ladies will be Nasuti and Kayura respectively.
NASUTI: I refuse to play Lady Montague. Is it possible that I can get a divorce?
ANGEL: IIE!! Divorce didn't exist back then! Now everyone shut up so I can read this! Tybalt will go to Anubis. Friar Laurence will be played by Kaosu and Friar John by Dara. Balthasar, servant to Romeo, will go to Jun.
SEIJI: Does that brat have to be in this horrible excuse for a play?
ANGEL: Unfortunately, but only because I ran out of characters.
SEIJI: Shimatta.
ANGEL: Don't worry. He won't get a big role. Where is he anyway?
TOUMA: Who cares?
ANGEL: Gotta point there. Anyway. Abram will be played by some random youja. Sampson will be played by Byakuen and Gregory by Kokuen-Oh.
RYO *suddenly regains voice* : Hold on, they're toras! How are we supposed to understand what they're saying?
ANGEL: Magic, Hot Stuff...Hot Stuff...hey I made a pun.
RYO: ..........We're happy for you.
ANGEL *peppy* : Thanx!! Now let's see Peter and the Apothecary will be played by Naaza.
SHUTEN: How come he gets two characters?
ANGEL: What, you want another role?
SHUTEN: IIE!!!! I mean, no thank you, I'm fine.
ANGEL: Okay, the three Musicians will be played be Ryo, Shu, and Seiji on the bass, drums, and guitar.
TOUMA: Doesn't this take place during the 15th century?
ANGEL: That's right Honey. But I decided to make it interesting.
TOUMA: And Ryo in a dress isn't interesting enough?
ANGEL: Nope.
TOUMA: .......
ANGEL: Okay, an unknown Officer will be played by Ojisan Chin, and the Nurse to Juliet will be played by Byakuen because, hell it makes sense. I will be the director and prompter and a friend of mine will do the change of scenery and lighting. Come on out Betha!
BETHA *chirps* : Hiya!
RAJURA: Good Lord there's another one!
ANUBIS: Do you think we can escape?
ANGEL *cackles* : There's no escaping!
Y. S. T. CAST and BETHA: ^^;;;
ANGEL: Okay peoples! Let the torture, I mean play, begin. COSTUMES!!
Snaps fingers and the Y. S. T. Cast is dressed in their costumes complete with make-up. Don't ask, it's authoress magic!!
RYO *looks at dress with disgust* : Shoot me. Just shoot me.
ANGEL: Sorry, can't get out that easily. But I can give you interesting undergarments.
Snaps fingers again. Ryo jumps and gives and indignant squawk.
ANGEL: Ummm, bigger than that.
RYO: ^~^;
ANGEL: Now that we finally got ourselves together, let the play begin!
*Sits down in chair with "Saturn's Angel" on the back and claps hands*
ANGEL: Places! Lights!
BETHA: Gotcha! *pans lights to center of stage*
Act I, Scene I
RYO: This dress itches!
ANGEL: That's not my problem.
RYO: And these heels hurt, how the hell am I supposed to walk in them?!
ANGEL: Live with it!
Act I, Scene I
SHU: Tights?! I will not wear tights!
RYO: Why don't you try wearing a dress!
ANGEL: Stop complaining, both of you!
Act I, Scene I
SEIJI: This outfit clashes! Can't I wear something else?
ANGEL: IIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!
Finally Act I, Scene I
Enter Chorus
After much cursing and fighting for a place, the play begins.
Y. S. T. CAST *sings* :
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break new mutiny,
Where citizens' blood makes fellow citizens' hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes...
SHU: I don't understand any of it! I thought you were going to translate this!
ANGEL: I was, but if I did, the song wouldn't rhyme. Now shut up and sing.
Y. S. T. CAST:
...........A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;
RYO *to Seiji* : Do we have to go through with this?
SEIJI: Just play along....nice dress.
RYO *frowns* : Seiji!
SEIJI: No seriously, I like it. You look good in it.
RYO: Thanks, I guess.
SEIJI: But you know what? You'll look better without it.
RYO O.O: *blushes*
ANGEL: Seiji!! We'll have none of that!!
Y. S. T. CAST:
.............Whose misadventured piteous overthrows,
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-marked love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, naught could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage....
KAYURA: TWO HOURS?!? I have bore the humiliation in silence but this tears it!!!
SHUTEN: I think I will be sick.
RYO: Two hours in this dress? IIE!
ANGEL: All of you, SING!!!
Y. S. T. CAST:
..............The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
TOUMA: Don't be fools! Leave while you can!
SHIN: Hurry, if you want to live! She's insane, save yourselves!
ANGEL: GUYS!!!
Y. S. T. Cast exits. Curtains part to show a street lined with buildings. Byakuen and Kokuen-Oh enter as
Sampson and Gregory of the House of Capulet.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Gregory, on my word, we'll not suffer insults.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: No, for then we shall be colliers.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I mean, an we be in anger, we'll draw.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: How the hell are we supposed to draw our swords? We're toras!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *shrugs* : Don't know, but we aren't supposed to talk either.
ANGEL: Just go along with it.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Fine. Ahem...Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of hangman's noose.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I strike quickly, being moved.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: A dog of the House of Montague moves me.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou are moved thou runn'st away. *To Byakuen* What the hell did this idiot just say?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I'm not sure, but my character isn't acting any more intelligent.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To hell with this, let's go.
Authoress appears out of nowhere.
ANGEL: Leave and there will be two new tora rugs decorating my room!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *sweatdropping* : Anou, we'll stay.
ANGEL: Good. Continue.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: A dog of that house shall move me to stand. I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'Tis true; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels....
NASUTI, KAYURA, AND BETHA: WE RESENT THAT!!
ANGEL: I don't like it either but it's the 15th century.
NASUTI, KAYURA, AND BETHA: HAVE YOU NO PRIDE?!?!
SHUTEN *to Kaosu* : Since when did they start championing women's rights?
KAOSU: Shhh. Don't let them hear you. The one thing you never do is question women's ideals. Pretty soon they'll put you in the middle and you'll never hear the end of it. Best stay low and keep your mouth shut.
SHUTEN: Okay.......
ANGEL: We'll discuss this after the play. Go on Yaku-chan.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: ....are ever thrust to the wall....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: They were raped!?!
ANGEL: It means you are pushed from your place. It's proverbial.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Oh.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Anyway....Therefore I will push Montague's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: The quarrel is between our master, and us their men.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'Tis all one. I will show myself a tyrant. When I have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the maids....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: You wouldn't!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Don't be stupid! I was going to say, 'I will cut off their heads.'
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Gomen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: 'S okay. This play makes anyone's brain fry.
ANGEL: I hate to interrupt you, but the play.....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: Keep your shirt on, geez. *turns to Byakuen* The heads of the maids?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maiden-heads. What's the difference?
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: They must take it in physical sensation.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Me they shall feel while I am able to stand; and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY ^_^;: Pretty piece of flesh....ooookaaaaaay.
ANGEL: Just say your line.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: 'Tis well thou art not fish....duh!
ANGEL *threatening* : Kokuen-Oh....
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: If thou hadst, thou hadst been the cheapest fish. Draw thy sword! Here comes two of the House of Montagues.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: How are we supposed to do that?
ANGEL: Do the best you can.
Enter two other Servingmen of the House of Montague, a youja as Abram and Jun (who appeared out of nowhere) as Balthasar
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *sword in mouth but still able to talk* : My naked weapon is out. Quarrel! I will back thee.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: How? Turn thy back and run?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Fear me not.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *sarcastically* : No, indeed. I fear thee.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Let us have the law on our sides; let them begin.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they wish.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them *mutters* if I had one...*returns to line* which is disgrace to them if they bear it.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Bite your thumb? What does that mean?!
ANGEL *sighing* : It means an insulting gesture...you know...like flicking someone off.
BYAKUEN/GREGORY: I see...
ANGEL: You obviously don't. Now it's the youja's line.
YOUJA: My name is Bob. And unlike the other uncultured youja that inhabit Youja-kai, I enjoy the arts and I must say how....pleased I am that we are finally doing something cultural.
NAAZA: Since when did a youja have a name?
KAYURA: I'm not sure.....
ANGEL ^_^; : Bob the Youja...Hookayyyy. Anyway, it's your line.
BOB/ABRAM: As you wish my lady...* to Byakuen and Kokuen-Oh* Do you bite your thumb at us sir?
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I do bite my thumb, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? Wait a minute...didn't I say that already?
ANGEL: Yes but...
BOB/ABRAM: That, my dear girl, is unnecessary repetition. I had already interrogated if he made a insulting gesture, he made an affirmative. Instead, I should be acknowledging this and making an angry retort, not asking the same question again like some simpleton.
ANGEL: Anou.......I agree. But please continue.
BOB/ABRAM: Very well. But if any more of this foolishness continues, I will be forced to leave.
ANGEL: Anou, let's just get on with it. Byakuen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *aside to Kokuen-Oh* : Is the law on our side if I say ay?
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *aside to Byakuen* : No.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: But you just said you did.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: I know, but my line says that I didn't.
BOB/ABRAM: In other words, you are a coward!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON *angrily* : I am not!
BOB/ABRAM: Ha!
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Keep talkin' tin can and I'll...
ANGEL: HEY!!!!! SHUT UP, SAY YOUR LINES, OR DOING THIS PLAY WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!!!
JUN/BALTHASAR: EEP!
ANGEL *taking deep breath* : This will be the last time I repeat myself. Just. Do. Your. Lines.
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY: To think we're trapped with this psycho....Do you quarrel, sir?
BOB/ABRAM: Quarrel, sir? No, sir.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
BOB/ABRAM: No better.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Well, sir.
Enter Shu as Benvolio
KOKUEN-OH/GREGORY *aside to Byakuen* : Say "better." Here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Yes, better, sir.
BOB/ABRAM: You lie.
BYAKUEN/SAMPSON: Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy smashing blow!
Byakuen fights Bob, and Kokuen-Oh takes on a seriously frightened Jun. Both tigers aren't holding back. Jun tries to escape the too happy Kokuen-Oh.
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right! Brawl!
ANGEL: Er, Shu.
SHU/BENVOLIO: What?
ANGEL: You're trying to stop the fight.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Masaka! Okay....Part fools! Put up your swords. You know not what you do. *mutters* I can't believe this is coming out of my mouth.
Here comes Anubis as Tybalt of the House of Capulet, Juliet's cousin.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: What, art thou drawn among these cowardly servants? Turn thee Benvolio! Look upon thy death! *to himself* hey, I like this guy...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Bring it on Masho!
ANGEL: Shu.
SHU/BENVOLIO: What is it now?
ANGEL: Sorry, but Benvolio's the peace maker.
SHU/BENVOLIO: How come I get this wimpy character!
ANGEL: Just go along with it.
SHU/BENVOLIO *indignant* : Fine...I do but keep the peace. Put up they sword, or manage it to part these men with me.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: What, drawn, and talk of peace? I hate the word as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee. Have at thee, coward! *to himself* I really like this guy...
They begin to fight, both looking a little too happy. Enter Ojisan Chin as the unknown Officer and three equally unknown citizens with clubs.
CHIN/OFFICER: Clubs, spears, cutting blades! Strike! Beat them down!
CITIZENS: Down with the Capulets! Down with the Montagues!
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right! Free for all!
ANGEL *looking heavenward* : What did I do to deserve this?
Betha pops out of nowhere with a parchment.
BETHA: You did this! Let's see, you stayed up later than you were supposed to, didn't eat your veggies, hit your sister, called your sister names, got thrown off the bus for fighting, bullied a sixth grader into submission...
ANGEL: Stop! I get the idea!
Enter Shuten as Capulet and Kayura as Lady Capulet
SHUTEN/CAPULET: What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
KAYURA/LADY CAPULET: I take it Capulet is slightly eccentric?
ANGEL: It's in the script.
KAYURA/LADY CAPULET: Whatever...A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a sword? *to authoress who is backstage* Why is this moron calling for a crutch?
ANGEL: Oh, shut up. And Shuten, sometime in this century...
SHUTEN/CAPULET: My sword, I say! Old Montague is come and flourishes his blade in defiance of me.
Enter Rajura as Montague and Nasuti as Lady Montague
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Thou villain Capulet-Hold me not, let me go.
NASUTI/LADY MONTAGUE *holds Rajura's arm in a firm grip* : Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: No, seriously, let go. I'm losing circulation to my arm.
NASUTI/LADY MONTAGUE: Gomen.
Arago walks in as Prince Escalus of Verona, with his train of youja that were randomly selected for their role.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Rebellion subjects, enemies to peace, you are my kind of people!
ANGEL: Arago, not today.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Humph. Rebellion subjects, enemies to peace,
Profaners of this neighbor-stained steel...happy now? Because you just ruined my fun.
ANGEL: Ecstatic. Go on.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: ......Will they not hear? What, ho! You men, you beasts,
that quench the Wildfire...
RYO: Nani?!? (Authors Note: I know I was going by Y. S. T., but God I couldn't help myself!)
ANGEL: Arago, that's fire, not Wildfire.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Oops, you know what? I've been saying Wildfire for so long it kinda slipped.
ANGEL: Whatever.
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Where was I? I think I'm lost.
NAAZA *to Shin* : How could he be lost it if he never had it?
SHIN *laughing* : Too right!
ANGEL: You were at, 'That quench the fire...'
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Oh yeah! Ahem. That quench the fire of you pernicious rage,
With purple fountains issuing from your veins...!
RYO: And here I thought blood was red.
ARAGO/ESCALUS *glares at Ryo* : ...On the pain of torture, from those bloody hands,
Throw your badly made weapons to the ground,
and hear the sentence of your moved prince.
Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
by thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
SHUTEN/CAPULET: We're not old.
SEIJI *rolling eyes* : So says a man who is 400+ years of age...
SHUTEN/CAPULET: Grrr...
ARAGO/ESCALUS: Shut up the both of you! This is my only major speech! *returns to monologue* Have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets,
and made Verona's ancient citizens,
Cast by their staffs and costumes appropriate for the aged,
To wield old spears, in hands as old,
rusted with peace, to part your malignant hate.
If ever you disturb our streets again,
your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace...and may your flesh be eaten away by the nether acid, your bones crushed between the great stones, and your soul be cast away for eternity into the black nothingness of hell!
ALL: ??????????????
ARAGO/ESCALUS *looks at all the blank faces* : Anou *cough* Now, for this time all the rest depart away.
You Capulet, shall go along with me;
And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
to know our farther pleasure in this case,
to old Freetown, our common judgment place.
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.
Everybody leaves except for Rajura, Nasuti, and Shu.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Who reopened this quarrel of long standing? Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Yep. Here were the servants of your adversary, and yours, close fighting here I did approach. I drew to part them *to himself* much as I didn't want to except a certain lunatic authoress who got this crazy idea made me...*continues* In the instant came the fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared; which, as he breathed defiance to my ears...*to himself again* not to mention his breath could have used a Tic-Tac...*continues once more* He swung about his head and cut the winds...*snicker*
Which, not at all hurt therewith, hissed him in scorn. While we were interchanging thrusts and blows, came more and more, and fought on part and part, till the Prince came, who parted either part.
NASUTI/LADY M: O, where is Seiji, I mean, Romeo? Saw you him today? Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Madam, an hour before the sun rose, a troubled mind, much like the authoress's...
ANGEL: Excuse me?!?
SHU/BENVOLIO: ....drove me to walk abroad; where, underneath the grove of sycamore that westward rooteth from this city side...why couldn't he just say, 'grew west of the city?'
ANGEL: Shu...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Okay...so early walking did I see your son. Towards him I made, but he was wary of me, and stole into the cover of the wood. I, measuring his feelings by my own, which then desired solitude. Being one too many by my weary self, pursued my humor, not pursuing his, and gladly shunned who gladly fled from me.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: I can't believe it, Shu was able to give an intelligent answer.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Say that again Spider-freak!
ANGEL: You know, I hate repeating myself so I will just say this. No food during intermission and death to all spiders....
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Fiend!
SHU/BENVOLIO: NO! I need my food! How will I survive?! Okay, okay, I give! Just let me eat!
ANGEL: ....That worked better than I thought. Continue.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Many a morning hath he there been seen, with tears augmenting the fresh morning's dew...
SEIJI: I was crying! What kind of wimp is this guy!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Quiet Korin!...adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs; but all so soon as the all-cheering sun. Should in the farthest East begin to draw, the shady curtains of the dawn's bed. Away from light steals home my melancholy son, and private in his chamber pens himself. Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out, and makes himself an artificial night.
ANUBIS/TYBALT: I do that!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE *grinds teeth* : Black and portentous must this mood prove, unless good counsel may the cause remove. Oh, terrific, now the dolt is rhyming.
SHU/BENVOLIO: My not-so-noble uncle, do you know the cause?
ANGEL: That's noble uncle...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Who cares?!
RAJURA/MONTAGUE *still obviously trying to say his lines* : I neither know it nor can learn of him
SHU/BENVOLIO: Have you importuned him by any means?
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: You mean annoy the hell out of him? Yes, by myself and many other friends; but he, his own affections' counselor, is to himself-I will not say how true-but to himself so secret and so close, so far from being measured and discovery. As is the bud bit with an envious worm, whatever the hell that means, 'ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air...
SEIJI: Nani?!?!?!
RYO: *snicker*
SEIJI: At least I'm not in drag.
RYO *infamous temper beginning to take hold* : Say. That. Again.
ANGEL: Rajura, ignore them. *looks behind to see Ryo and Seiji pounding the daylights out of each other* Oh my...
SHU/BENVOLIO: Ten bucks says Seiji wins.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: You're on Kongo.
*both wince at the ferocity of the fight*
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: Oh, that must sting.
SHU/BENVOLIO *voiced in awe* : I did not know heels could be used that way.
BETHA: Go Ryo! Kick his ass! I have twenty ridin' on ya!
SHIN: Somebody stop them!
NAAZA: Are you nuts? And lose twenty dollars to psycho number 2?!
TOUMA: This is unnecessary! Stop this now!
SHUTEN: They aren't listening...
ANGEL *looking ticked* : That's it! I've had enough of this! *leaps forward and a frying pan mysteriously appears in her hand. With abnormal strength, she knocked them both out.*
RYO AND SEIJI: @_@
ANGEL *turning to others* : Does anybody else want to interrupt my play?! No? Good. Go on Rajura. *drags Ryo and Seiji away*
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: ...or dedicate his beauty to the sun. Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow, we would as willingly give cure as know.
Enter Seiji as Romeo rubbing the back of his head, grumbling about certain authoresses who liked to torture other people for their own pleasure
ANGEL: Yep! And proud of it!
SEIJI/ROMEO: Darn her! She just better be glad my hair cushioned the blow.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Oookayyy. I'll just say my line now...see, where he comes. So please you step aside, I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
RAJURA/MONTAGUE: I would thou were so happy by thy stay to hear true confession. Come, madam, let's away....Thank Kami.
Exit Montague and Lady Montague
SHU/BENVOLIO: Good morning, cousin!
SEIJI/ROMEO *muttering* : It would be a better one if I weren't here.
SHU/BENVOLIO ^_^;: Is this a bad time to be talking to you...
SEIJI/ROMEO: Iie, iie, let's just get this over with...Is the day so young?
SHU/BENVOLIO: But new struck nine.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Ay me! Sad hours seem long. Was that my father that went hence so fast?
SHU/BENVOLIO: It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
SEIJI/ROMEO: Not having which having makes them short.
SHU/BENVOLIO: In love?
SEIJI/ROMEO *snickering* : Yeah right!
ANGEL: Seiji...SAY IT!!!!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: Fine.......Out-
SHU/BENVOLIO: Of love?
SEIJI/ROMEO: Out of her favor where I am in love.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Alas that love, so gentle in his appearance, should be so tyrannous and rough in being experienced!
SEIJI/ROMEO *with no enthusiasm what-so-ever* : Yeah...whatever...Alas that love, whose sight is blindfolded still, should without eyes see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness...hold on, is he just contradicting himself?
ANGEL: Quiet blondie.
SEIJI/ROMEO *indignant* : ...serious vanity, misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this. Dost thou not laugh?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Hai. *bursts out laughing*
SEIJI/ROMEO: It's not my fault this guy's a love sick sap.
ANGEL: Keep it up you two...
SHU/BENVOLIO: All right, we'll behave...*slips to his line* No cousin, I rather weep.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Good heart...HEART?!?
ANGEL *sighing* : Not in the way you think.
SEIJI/ROMEO: ...Good heart, at what?
SHU/BENVOLIO: At they good heart's oppression.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Why, such is love's transgression. *pauses to sweatdrop then continues*
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast...*shakes head, refusing to make any kind of statement to that*
which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest.
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own,
love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
a choking gall, and a preserving sweet.
Farewell, my cousin...*turning to authoress* why was he rhyming?! I mean come on! People don't do that naturally!
ANGEL: Shush you.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Soft! I will go along. An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Tut! I have lost myself; I am not here; This is not Romeo...Then who the hell is he?!?
ANGEL: Seiji!!!!! Arrrrrggh!!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: ....This is not Romeo, he's some other where. Okay....
SHU/BENVOLIO: When's intermission?
ANGEL: Anou, after Act II.
SHU/BENVOLIO: But that's so far away...
ANGEL: Maybe if you people stop screwing up, it wouldn't take forever.
SHU/BENVOLIO: *sigh* Tell me seriously, who is that you love?
SEIJI/ROMEO: What, shall I groan and tell thee?
SHU/BENVOLIO: Groan? Why, no; but sadly tell me who.
SEIJI/ROMEO: But a sick man in sadness make his will.
Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!
In sadness cousin, I do love a woman...
SHU/BENVOLIO: I know seriously...anyway...I aimed so near when I supposed you loved.
SEIJI/ROMEO: A right good marksman. And she's fair I love.
SHU/BENVOLIO: A bright clean target, fair cousin, is soonest hit.
SEIJI/ROMEO: Well, in that hit you miss. She'll not be hit with Cupid's arrow. She hath Diana's wit, and, in strong armor of chastity well armed. From Love's weak childish bow she lives unharmed...You know what? I feel sorry for him.
SHU/BENVOLIO: So do I.
ANGEL: I do too, but you're the ones who are going to be sorry if you don't say your LINES!!!
SEIJI/ROMEO: ....She gives me no chance to woo her, nor hope her lap to saint-seducing gold. O, she is rich in beauty; only poor. That, when she dies, she will leave no children to perpetuate her beauty...
NASUTI/LADY M: If you ask me, the girl is smart.
KAYURA/ LADY C: I agree.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Then she hath sworn that she will always love chaste?
SEIJI/ROMEO: She hath, and in that miserly economy makes huge waste;
for beauty, starved with her severity,
cuts beauty off from all posterity.
She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
to merit heaven by making me despair.
She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow,
do I live dead that live to tell it now.
SHU/BENVOLIO: Oh yeah, he's gone...I mean...Be ruled by me; forget to think of her.
SEIJI/ROMEO: O, teach me how I should forget to think!....No need for that Shu, this guy never had it...
SHU/BENVOLIO *trying not to laugh* : .....By giving *snort* liberty unto thine eyes. Examine *chortle* other beauties.
SEIJI/ROMEO: 'Tis the way,
To call hers (exquisite) to my mind more.
These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows,
Being black *????* puts us in mind they hide the fair.
He that is stricken blind cannot forget,
the precious treasure of his eyesight lost.
Show me a mistress that is surpassingly fair,
what doth her beauty serve but as a note.
Where I may read who passed that passing fair,
farewell, thou canst not teach me to forget.
SHU/BENVOLIO: I'll convince you otherwise, or else die in debt.
Both exit and curtains close for change in scenery.
End of Act I, Scene I
The second part of this story/play will be out soon, only your reviews will tell. Ja!