This one is a product of too much wine, a late hour and too much playing of Citadel DLC. I also blame Liara and her line(this is where the title originated from and yes, those are her exact words). Combine all of the above and my mind immediately went to dirty places and this fic was born.
As always, leave a review if you like it or don't. It's all good. Also, many thanks to Yestare70 for all the helpful hints and corrections.
Seeing how they just got out of the archives(with the threat of eternal entombment and imminent death over their heads, no less), one would expect the general mood to be more jubilant.
However, with the hijacking of the Normandy(also imminent, mind you), it just wasn't to be. The team was gathered outside the archives, debating on strategies, when the skycar approached them. When it's door popped open and the familiar face of Joker appeared, Shepard almost felt a breath of relief escape her. Almost.
"I've got room for Shepard plus two. And make it fast, the other Shepard is stealing my ship!" It was rather obvious Jeff wasn't joking around this time, which in and on itself was a bad sign.
Scanning her team, it only took a moment or two for Shepard to decide. Lots of shields and heavy armor on the mercenaries suggested a tech expert would come in handy. Somebody with a knowledge of guns certainly wouldn't hurt as well.
"EDI, Vega, you're with me. Get your asses in the car!"
When they did so, she quickly seated herself next to Joker. Taking a look back out, she noticed a rather sour disposition on the faces of the rest of the team. What was of particular notice however, was the downright devastated look on Liara's face. Those blue eyes, usually vibrant with life and energy, were now downcast and her lips, so full and usually curled upwards in a smile were sporting an obvious(if still, she had to admit to herself, adorable) pout. She just had to know.
"What?"
Obviously, the question was expected, as the asari lifted her chin immediately. The sadness in her voice almost made the commander's heart break... were it not for the words she uttered.
"I was hoping to come."
Gravity of the situation aside, Shepard had a very hard time not breaking into a laughter right there and then. But somehow, she managed to hold herself back, when she answered with the slightest hint of a smile.
"Oh, you'll come... tonight, in my room."
The wink she sent towards Liara did nothing to undermine the blush that was raising on the asari's cheeks. In fact, it seemed to have a rather opposite effect.
"Shepard!"
The commander in question would have loved to continue teasing her favorite asari, were it not for EDI's tap on her shoulder, which managed to convey the seriousness of the situation. Sobering instantly, she nodded at her team.
"Joker will be back to pick you up, I promise."
And with that, the doors of the skycar were closed again, cutting the others from their team-mates. As the contraption raised itself into the air and flew away toward the skydocks, everybody followed it with their gaze. But nobody more closely than a certain, still very flustered asari.
That was before she was awoken from her daydreaming by a rather obvious(and faked) coughing behind her.
"You know, for a human, Shepard is very open minded. Sure she hasn't had any asari ancestors, T'Soni?"
Garrus. She could almost see a smirk on his face, even with her back towards him.
"Haw! I'd be inclined to say there's some krogan blood in there. She displays our finest qualities... the relentless drive for battle and our love of beautiful women!"
Wrex, of course. Was it possible to be embarrassed any more? If the the temperature of her face was any indication, she just set a new galactic record.
"Bosh'tets, both of you!"
Tali. She never agreed with her friend more than at that particular time, even if she never did quite found out what that curse meant.
"Primitives, the lot of you!"
And, of course, things just wouldn't be perfect without Javik, Mr. Tactful himself.
"Can we just... look for a cab, or something?"
She never appreciated Kaidan's levelheadedness more than she did at that particular moment.
And yet, despite the awkward situation, Liara couldn't help but smile to herself. As the rest of the team dispersed, looking for transportation of any kind, she brought her hand close to her heart, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That helped.
"I'll hold you to that promise, commander."