Disclaimer. Legend of Zelda doesn't belong to me.
Coupling: Link x Zelda
Author: mixtapesingle
A/N: An old fanfiction that I revived from the dead. Originally wrote it around a year ago, so please excuse the errors. It was somewhat hard for me to write about this couple as well. I actually don't like Zelda much at all.
If I Ain't Got You
Chapter 1: Exquisitely Divine
"Some people want it all,
But I don't want nothing at all,
If I ain't got you baby..."
I am in love. Painfully, surprisingly, deeply... in love. It has always been this way, since the moment I met him in the Castle Garden 10 long years ago. Love came in one-fell swoop and never left. Though he is gone now, but my love has not gone with him.
I haven't seen him the longest time. It's depressing, really. I had hoped that he had thought enough of me to return to Hyrule, as he said he would. But I guess that life doesn't hand you apples all the time, as I wish it would.
Dammit.
Malon asks me all the time why I'm still waiting for him. I can never answer that question properly. On one hand, the man I'm in love with is the most amazing man in the world, but on the other hand, I can turn around and have a promising future handed to me on a plate.
You see, I'm supposed to marry soon. Yes, I'm engaged. And no, I'm not in love with him.
His name is Jake, and he's from the distant nation of Kyrahn, a lovely but suffering kingdom not unlike Hyrule. He has everything I've wanted as a child. Money, charm, looks, and style. I suppose Jake is truly a great guy. He's loving and kind, and would make a great future King, though I'd fail as a Queen. And you know, he really does love me.
And I'm set to marry him in less than a week. This Sunday, no less. My mother-in-law has gone over with me all of the 'exquisitely divine' details - as she calls them - and the wedding... as much as I hate to admit it, looks beautiful. Defeated by my selfish desires to have a big white wedding, I complained to the King, my father, in hopes that he was having last minute doubts about the wedding. But the instant I opened my mouth to say unlady-like things about the wedding, he cut me short and said something that stopped me in my tracks.
"Zelda, if you won't do it for Hyrule, do it for me."
What was I supposed to say to that? "No, daddy, I don't want to do it for you! I want to be happy! I don't want Hyrule to have a treaty with Kyrahn so that we can be out of our debt!"
So, without much of a choice, I'm marrying him. I suppose I'll live a comfortable life, have some children, do my duty as queen. My mother and father weren't in love either when they were married... It's not a big surprise for royals, I guess. And as long as Hyrule can prosper... It's all that matters, isn't it? Right? Right?
No! That's not right! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! As the days pass, I turn more and more desperate. I want someone to slap me across the face and tell me I shouldn't be marrying Jake. But no one is. They're slapping me on the back and wishing me luck in my marriage. Even my Malon, my best friend, supports this wedding. And I trust her. How can I not?
...Today's Thursday, and that means 3 more days until the wedding. My mother-in-law runs in and out of my room all afternoon, telling me of more exquisitely divine details she decided to edit in and out at the last moment. Seriously, I don't care. Still, I listen half-attentively as she rambles on and on about the guest list.
Suddenly, something she says catches my attention. "How about that... say, Hero of Time boy? Don't you want him to come? He was never on the Guest List..."
I jerk my head up towards her, caught off-guard by her remark. Of course Link wasn't on the list, I reason, he's never been around for me to give him an invitation to it. Not that he'd want to come to my wedding when he's not the groom, after all that's happened between us.
Three years ago, after Link had defeated Ganon, it had just been the two of us. It was a blissful year, filled with romantic get-aways, sneaking around the castle guards, and dare I say it, lustful nights.
But a hero can never be tamed. Before we were able to celebrate our one-year anniversary, he was gone once again, as time makes a grown man restless. When I asked him why he had to leave, he had looked at me with so much passion in his eyes, and said breathlessly, "I wish love could stop time, but evil never rests. And a hero cannot either."
The next day, he was gone, and I haven't heard from him since. He had told me he'd be back, but look, it's been two years since he left, and I'm still yearning for his soft blue eyes, his soft blonde hair, and his gentle touch as we manifest in a sinful act of lust-
"Honey? Are you alright?"
I snap out of my daydream, and I realize that I've been keeping my mother-in-Law waiting for a response. I blink rapidly, because I can't remember what the question was. Oh yeah, something about Link.
"It's alright," I manage to choke out, "I didn't want him at the wedding anyway."
Several more minutes of her rambling about the exquisitely divine details, and she finally leaves. When she does, I collapse into my bed and curl up in a ball, the lie burning in my throat as I cry for him.
-------------------
Malon is apparently very proud of me - that I am able to go through this process without breaking down. Little does she know that I am breaking down, and no one's there to stop me. I really do want someone on my side, I really do. But only Malon knows about my secret passion for Link, and she dissapproves of it. Dammit all.
She's pacing around in my room, trying out the dress I chose for the Maid of Honor, which would be her. It's a white halter-top dress, and it flows elegantly to the floor, with bits of red embroidery laced through it. I have to say, it suits her well, so I consider the possibility of giving the dress to her for keeps. But right now, that is the least of my concerns. I turn to her again, yearning to tell her of how much I need Link, but I fear that she'll just get annoyed.
I'm dreading Sunday. Today's Friday, so there's only two more days left until I am a bachelorette no more. I collapse onto my bed, hugging the soft satin sheets to my body. "Malon," I start, "what's going to happen when Jake finds out I'm not a virgin?"
The expression on her face is grim. Malon brushes her long red locks back, and comes over to the bed to sit next to me. "I honestly don't know, but it can't be good. I mean, you were supposed to be pure, being a princess and all..."
"You think he'll notice?" I try helplessly, though I already know the answer.
"Duh," she says matter-of-factly, "what are you planning to say when he asks who it is?"
I hesitate. I have many answers prepared actually, and I haven't decided on one. "I don't know. Maybe I'll tell him I was raped when I was 15 or something." I smile micheaviously. "Make him pity me, you know?"
To this, we both have a good laugh, while Malon hits my shoulder playfully and says, "Oh my God, how much can you milk out of a man with a sap story like that?"
We laugh again, and it makes me feel better. I definately need to be laughing more when I'm this depressed. To my luck, Malon decides to stay through the night, and we talk about everything from Ice Cream to the Gorons. Still, we go back to the topic of marriage no matter how far from it we stray from it. I admit, it is an intriuging topic, but everytime she talks about it enthusiastically, I wonder if I should ask her to marry Jake instead of me so I can sit by the window and wait for Link to return.
Wouldn't that be nice?
----
It's finally Saturday! There's only one more day left!
Today's ridiculously hectic. There's a rehearsal dinner for the closest friends and family of the bride and groom, which really just means whoever the parents of the married couple feel like inviting. The rehearsal goes through without a wrinkle, and at least a dozen people come up to Jake and I and tell us how lovely it is to see the two of us marry.
Jake smiles with a degree of grace that I can't imitate. He greets the guests with all the elegance of a King, while I trip over my high heels to stumble over to where he is standing. I'm glad this doesn't last long, because as soon as the rehearsal dinner finishes, I storm upstairs to my room where the only comfort of my life is waiting.
My bed.
I collapse onto it, once again, crushed that Jake has already bought a new bed for the two of us to share once we get married. I love this bed. It has comforters stuffed with the feathers of ducks, making it warm, light, and just perfect for a hard-working princess such as myself. It has an airy white canopy that drapes around the bed, making it my sanctuary within a sanctuary.
With a gentle smile on my face, I drift back to the days when Link and I would sit on this bed and talk for hours, about everything and nothing at all. Laying down here, I can almost smell him. He was such an outdoorsman. Everytime he came in here, he smelled something of morning rain and sweat, but he always pulled it off in a way that he looked shirt-rippingly sexy.
Dammit! Why can't I stop thinking about him?! In one quick motion, I snatch a pillow and hug it tightly against my chest. I can't stop thinking about him, and I'm getting married tomorrow! I'm a horrible bride! Just horrible!
Suddenly, I hear a faint tapping from my balcony window that sends my heart shooting off in a million directions. Something about that noise is eerily familiar. It... it reminds me of Link. He always knocked at my balcony in a distinctly perfect way.
God, I have to stop this. I can't keep on doing this, or I'll end up committing suicide from being driven insane. Damn this shit. I get up and run towards the balcony to close the drapes so I can sit in my room alone in the darkness. But what I see is more than I could've ever hoped for.
Link.
I'm stunned - frozen to the spot - unable to move or speak - oh Gods, it's finally him! I can't think - thoughts are racing through my head - this is the moment that I've been waiting for the past two years. But why now? I can't get married now! Oh Gods, what will Jake think? Screw Jake, I don't need him - I only need Link now. My breath is short and quick now, and my heart beats at a million miles per hour. Link, Link, Link!
I hesitate to open the balcony window when I see him in all of glory. I still can't believe it's him but it's unmistakeable. His back is to me - he is facing the mountains that Hyrule is so famous for. Directly underneath is the garden where we first met - I can only guess that that's how he made it up here. But his back alone is enough to tell me that it's him. That dirty-blonde hair, the worn green tunic, the Master Sword and Hyrule Shield adorned on his back...
I open the door as slowly as I can, not wanting to disturb him from overlooking the small piece of Hyrule that captures my heart. He turns to face me, and lo and behold, another surprise is awaiting me.
His expression.
I take a step back when I see his expression. It is not cold, but it is not warm. I can see a trace of pain in his eyes, though he tries to hide it with an awkward smile. There are dark circles underneath his eyes as if he hasn't been sleeping for days, and the whites of his eyes are not white. They are ...red.
There's something not right here, and I can feel it. Trembling, I grab onto the wall with one hand to steady myself as I managed to choke out a pathetic, "Link?"
"Zelda..." He's completely facing me now, and the intensity of it all makes me want to turn away. He's looking at me with what can only be described as an expression of someone with a wounded soul. Other than that, he looks exhausted and completely ready to collapse. Despite everything, I hide my face by running my hand nervously through my hair, hoping that he hasn't noticed the shock on my face.
"Zelda, you..." He stops there, and looks down at the floor. There's a soft desperation in his voice that scares me shitless, and I can't do anything about it but stare at him in a dazed silence. For a moment, we are quiet, staring at each other, the sun shining at brightly in the distance. Finally, "what's wrong?"
Link leans back onto the railing, and averts his gaze so that he is no longer looking at me - he's looking straight up, though I know well enough that there's nothing up there. I know this habit of his. He only looks straight-up when he can't bear to make eye contact with anyone. I know this from experience, though I don't think the other two instances where he couldn't make eye contact with me were as bad as this one...
After what seems like forever and a day, he finally manages to say, "so... you're getting married?" He adds a soft chuckle at the end, as if he's trying to lighten the mood, but it works to his disadvantage, and it comes out as a cruel scoff.
Oh my God. He knows. "Wait, Link," I say desperately, grabbing at one of his hands, but he pulls away instinctively, despite the fact he's still staring up at the sky. "It's not like that-"
"Do you love him?"
I freeze again. Why did the question throw me off so much? I've been asked this question countless times before, but when he asks it, it's completely different. He's looking straight at me now, and his exotic blue eyes bore into my head - ah fuck! They're melting my heart for all I've got, and it takes all the fucking strength I have to stay standing. Oh God.
"Do you?"
His voice is so sweet, so soft, so loving. If only I could touch him one more time, but he won't give it up. He won't let me touch him. He won't let our fingers brush, he won't hold my hand, he won't even let me get close to him. I just want to be with him. I just...
"Godammit, Zel! Look at me!"
I obey almost immediately, because I have experienced Link's temper before - and it is not so sweet. For what seems to be an eternity, we stare at each other eyes, and all I can see in his is pain. I have never seen pain in his eyes before.
...I don't like it. The Link I remember was always a strong man, and he never showed pain or fear or anything of the sort. And now, when I'm about to be wed, I can see all of those emotions dancing around in his eyes.
Even the strongest man is prone to love.
"Do you love him?"
He asks this softly. So softly,... that the answer naturally is coaxed out of me, though I hadn't wished for it to slip out.
"...No, I don't love him."
For a split second, I see pure relief in his eyes, but it dissapears as quickly as it came. He sort of lets out an uneasy laugh, and then shakes his head, breaking our eye contact. He's pacing around on the balcony now, and how he can even manage that fascinates me. Me being with him has made me completely dazed, and I feel as if my feet are rooted to the floor beneath me. My heart spins once again when he turns to face me, and as I had feared, his expression is solemn and grim.
"Why..." Link starts, for the first time allowing our hands to touch as he gently places his hands in mine, "would you marry a man you do not love?"
As he says this, his eyes are filled with passion and hope, as I had seen in him the first night we had spent together. I am so tempted - so, so tempted - to throw myself into his arms and beg of him to take me away from this place. Maybe we can run away together. Run away together and never look back. Age in each other's company and never stop loving each other...
Though my heart screams yes!, every bone in my body is screaming at me to stop thinking of such sinful thoughts. Hyrule! Hyrule is in my hands! My reply is weak and feeble, and as I say it, I cannot look into his eyes. His eyes alone will make me break down into his arms, as I so long to do. "I do love you, Link! I... I love you more than... life itself! But..."
When he hears the tone of my voice at that last sentence, his fingers slide away from mine, as if he is instinctively expecting bad news. "But, if I do not marry this man, Hyrule as we know it will go down in ashes! We are in horrible debt, Link! And my father and I have tried desperately to save it in these past two years, and the truth of it is, we're poor! Our people are starving, our children are crying, and our land is dying! If... if I don't make any action as the future ruler of Hyrule, I will never save this land!"
"Zel..."
I am too fired on to let him interrupt me, so I keep on with my speech with a passion. "I love you, I love you, I really do... But, I... I love Hyrule too much to watch it crumble before my eyes. If I marry Jake tomorrow... Hyrule will prosper, and its people will finally be able to live the life they deserve!"
Now, it is he that is stunned, which is a nice change from me being speechless. "My happiness is nothing compared to the happiness of hundreds." I conclude softly, silently cheering myself on for acting as a future-Queen only should.
Link stares at me with a lack of an expression on his face, and it sort of scares me. Suddenly, he sweeps me into his arms, and hugs me tightly. Ah shit. I almost melt in his arms... Damn, I forgot how much I loved his hugs. ...They were always as passionate as his kisses...
"Zelda, I know that that's not what you truly want. You say you want your country to be happy, but I know you too well. You're a greedy girl at heart, and you probably wish that you could forget Hyrule and come with me." He whispers softly into my ear.
He smiles warmly as he says this, and it creates an odd mixture of emotions that only makes me tremble with anticipation. Then breaks away from me, leaving me feeling empty and unfulfilled.
He stands ontop of the banister, facing the mountains so that I can only see his back. The sun is silhouetted against him, making him look all the more stunning. Link turns to face me and smiles again. "I'll wait for you tomorrow, right here. At noon. When your wedding starts. You can either marry a man you don't love for material things, or you can run away with me forever and live a life of love. ...Your choice."
With that, he leaps off the banister, and takes a piece of my heart along with him. A piece that I might never see again.
Oh God. I hate love.