Author's Note: There is a sinfully small amount of Kontae works... When nobody is fueling one of your favorite ships, you just have to make some of your own! I admit right now I haven't seen every episode of Gintama, just about the first seventy in which time I realized how much I love Kondo Isao. Then, skipped to watch the Farewell Shinsengumi Arc because it looked really interesting and actually took his character seriously. If something doesn't work with post-Farewell Shinsengumi cannon, I apologize now.
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"Otae-san, thank you for inviting me in for the evening." Kondo was blushing as he scratched his head and gave a lop-sided grin. Normally, he simply stalked her; being direct was a new approach for him. He wondered what exactly had changed that resulted in him being invited inside for once instead of sneaking in, of being welcomed instead of being slapped 'til his head spun. Actually, now his head was spinning in a different way altogether… He was fairly certain it wasn't just the sake either.
As for Tae, she wondered exactly why she had invited the gorilla to share a drink with her. Normally she was catching him under the porch or in a closet and hauling him out by the ear, not this! Her delicate but purposeful fingers danced around the edge of her sake cup as she thought, and she could feel his eyes follow every movement. No, nothing she did ever escaped his notice. Wasn't that a bit obsessive, especially considering all she'd done was be kind to him at the snack bar one night?
Maybe it was the drink that made her brave, but the words escaped her mouth and could not be taken back. "You've been away for a long time. It has been quiet around here." She hated to admit it, but that was the truth of it. A life without Kondo's antics seemed…dull. She could pretend all she wanted that they annoyed her and she wished he would get lost, but after his scheduled execution and the disbandment of the shinsengumi, she was left with the cold realization that she missed it all. Missed him. Was that it?
Kondo gave a low chuckle and poured her another cup before refilling his own. Tae flushed as she realized she missed her chance to fill his cup like a proper hostess. Kondo as always seemed to know, and waved her off. "You aren't working the snack bar tonight, Otae-san. It's all right." Setting the bottle of sake down, he held up his cup. "We've been away from Edo for far too long. To our triumphant return! To the Shinsengumi!"
They were back now after fleeing the city to regroup. The current government was hardly popular, and the people were behind them, supporting the band who had always stood for the common man. Funny, she used to think them simple police at the beck and call of the nobles, but when push came to shove they showed their true colors. Maybe that was when she started to really consider Kondo seriously. She imitated his gesture. "May you be back to stay."
A long drink later, Kondo set the cup down on the wooden floor with a click. "It's been way too long. I'm sure it won't surprise you, but not a day went by on that blasted march that I didn't think about what I was leaving behind. Funny, I've never considered anywhere to be my home; home was always with my dojo, with my Shinsengumi. That's all changed now."
"And may I ask, what did you leave behind exactly?" Tae was generally a fearless person, but without the two cups of sake lowering her inhibitions, she would have never dared to ask that question. She'd have been too afraid of the answer, or more specifically, how she'd feel if she knew.
"I left the people and streets of Edo that I swore to protect. And…I left you."
"You're right, I'm not surprised. You are rather predictable." Her flippant reply was the only way to mask the churn in her stomach as her feelings waged war inside. Was he obsessive or devoted, having thought of her every day? Did that make her feel uncomfortable or touched?
"Yeah. When I care about something, I don't ever do it halfway. Not with my sword training, not with my men, not with you. That's just how I am." Kondo was looking her straight in the eye with the utmost sincerity. He seemed to sense her confliction. Had he done some sobering up since he was nearly killed and left in exile? "But Otae-san, I don't imagine those long months were at all the same for you." With a sigh he reached for the bottle again.
This time, Tae reacted first. She grabbed the bottle from his hand, and in surprise he released his grip so she could pour him another cup. "At first I thought it was paranoia, always looking up at the street light where I caught you gawking at me that first day, or at the trash cans where I found you the day you left, or anywhere in between. Expecting to see you, prepared to smack you senseless." A twisted smile crossed her face, and Kondo wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or terrified. "But of course you were never there. Every day since you left. Something felt like it was missing." A flush spread across her cheeks. She hadn't even admitted that to herself, and here she confessed it to him. Damn it, she could not handle her alcohol it seemed! Why wasn't Kondo getting silly after his third cup? Apparently that gorilla had a lot more body mass to work with…
"Good missing, or bad missing?" Not only was he maintaining his control, but he seemed to be even more serious than usual with each cup he took.
"Bad." That she knew without thinking. What it meant was a whole different story.
"Otae-san?" There was a question there that he couldn't seem to articulate, but his caramel eyes were opened wide in disbelief.
Tae roughly poured her third cup and downed it quickly, leaving him hanging. "Hmmmm." The cup went down and she folded her hands. "I don't want you to leave again, Kondo-san. I don't like it when you are gone."
Kondo thought his heart would beat through his chest. Was he really hearing that right? Did Otae-san actually…want him? He hadn't realized his jaw had dropped open until she reached over and tapped it shut with a coy giggle. Now her face was more flushed from the alcohol than embarrassment. "You are cute when you get serious, Kondo-san."
"D-does that mean you would want to…well, umm…court me?" he stammered, his entire body bracing for the impact of rejection even after these encouraging signs.
"I'll tell you what I want." Tae paused, contemplating. Now was the time to be reckless. She could blame it on the alcohol if she wanted, even though she was still thinking clearly enough to decide for herself. What obligation did she have to be chaste like a proper lady? She was a grown woman, independent, and didn't need to justify her actions to anyone. Who had the right to judge her for deciding to sleep with the widely respected Shinsengumi captain?
Woah. Wait. She wanted to sleep with Kondo! When the hell had that wormed its way into her mind? She'd idly wondered as she sifted through her feelings what it would be like to be with him, hairy butt aside. He was so often manic, entirely over enthused and overdramatic. Would he be like that as a lover? She wouldn't be able to handle it, she was fairly certain. Or would he be more of the gentlemanly suitor? Somehow she got that vibe. That would be a refreshing change from what she'd been subjected to at the snack bar most nights. Until she gave him a chance, how would she ever know? At the very least, surely he had an impressive body and would be a giving lover…
"Stay the night with me," she finally declared, gazing at him through hooded eyes.
Kondo's face paled, he choked out a gasp, and then his eyes rolled back as he fainted dead away, collapsing to the floor with a great crash. Oh Kondo, never a subtle man!
He came to when a glass of cold water was tossed over his face, leaving the man sputtering and pawing at his face to wipe the offending liquid away. Then he was aware of a feminine laugh. Blinking once more to get it out of his eyes, he saw Tae sitting there holding the glass. Amusement was evident in her expression. "Kondo-san, was it really that shocking?"
"Was what shocking?" he frowned, sitting back up completely perplexed.
Tae sighed. "You'll make me say it again? The shock was so much it short-circuited your system?"
"Umm…yes?" he replied hopefully. He was enjoying this, seeing Tae's playful side. Normally he was bruised and swelling after encounters with her; a glass of water in the face was light teasing! Or flirting. Wait, was Tae flirting with him?
"I asked you if you'd want to stay the night."
She thought for a moment he would faint again. He blanked as the words were processed backwards and forwards, trying to decipher any way they could contain a different meaning than the one he had perceived. He couldn't come up with a one. Finally, he blurted "So you mean like 'stay here for a few more drinks than sleep on your porch and eat breakfast in the morning' spend the night?" He concluded with nervous laughter.
Poor man really couldn't wrap his head around what she was after. Not his fault after all that time being constantly turned away without the slightest hint of hope that he stood a chance. This called for more suggestive means. Tae made a show of shrugging the shoulders of her yukata down, exposing more of her creamy skin than usual. "We could, but that wasn't what I was thinking. I thought you'd at least share the bed with me. I'm sure it's been awhile since you've gotten anything like that."
"Otae-san!" he screeched, falling back and crab-walking away from her frantically. His eyes were wide as saucers. "You misunderstand me!"
Tae cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "You…don't want to sleep with me?"
Kondo moaned in anguished frustration as he tugged at his hair. "That's not the point! I mean…" He realized what he'd admitted to by not denying and turned bright red. "I care about you, Otae-san! I would never dishonor you like that! I'm not that kind of man!"
"Even if I offer it, no strings attached?"
"Otae-san, don't talk like that! This is nothing so casual as…"
Tae was quickly becoming frustrated with his insistent refusal. She had anticipated having her clothes ripped off as soon as she gave him the green light based on his utter adoration of her. There was only one reason for his hesitation that came to mind, and her impulse control was no longer functioning. "After all this time stalking me, you're going to tell me you don't want me when I finally offer? Why is that? Because you have me up on this pedestal and I am not allowed to be a whore?"
First there was shock, but then his features turned stony. It sent a chill through her to see him this way, who was normally so jovial and easy-going. "Don't misunderstand me. You can want what you want, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to be the one to treat you like a whore. If you think I came here tonight and every other night looking for gratification, I guess that means you don't know me at all. And another thing." He straightened up to his full, imposing height and stared her down. The usually enamored sparkle in his eyes was nowhere to be found. "You tell me I'm being inconsistent, but you're the one who has always shut me down, and suddenly you want sleep with me? That says one of two things." Kondo took a deep, shaky breath. "One is that you're bored and want to try something new. I don't much like the idea of being your amusement. The second is that you feel sorry for me after everything that's happened. I'm not here for pity. In fact, I'd rather face your fist than your pity."
Now he stumbled to his feet, the adrenaline of his anger negating the dulled senses caused by alcohol. "If you don't wish to court me, sleeping with you would only make things worse." He meant to use the word 'hurt' somewhere in that statement but never found a place to put it. Surely she could figure that much out even after three cups of sake. "Well, I'm sure I've impeded on you long enough. I should take my leave." He turned away from her and took a step.
"Kondo, wait!" she cried out. She immediately regretted how desperate she sounded, but it gave him pause even though he faced away.
What was she going to say? In her inebriated recklessness, she had completely disregarded his feelings in the matter. Somehow she assumed he would want whatever she'd give and if things didn't work, she'd just sweep it under the rug in the morning. How could she have been so stupid? Of course he'd take this extremely personally, and such a blow to him would be devastating! Hurting him was not something she wanted to do, at least, not emotionally.
"I…didn't mean to insult you, Kondo. I just thought…I thought you'd want it. Most men don't care if things work out or not if they can get a woman in bed…"
Kondo's shoulders sagged as he sighed wearily. "Otae-san, you've been working too long at that snack-bar. You've lost sight of the fact that a real man, the kind of man you'd want to keep, would never. But is that it? Is that the only reason you offered, because you thought I'd want it from you? It still seems…" She could see him wince, as if wounded.
"I was curious!" she confessed to his back. When she observed that he still wouldn't turn, she rose and teetered over to him. "I don't know how I feel about you. I thought it would be a way for me to understand what I want. Could it work out? What are you like when you get serious? I just wanted to find out so I could give you a better answer." She wanted to reach around his waist, keep him there to listen to her pitiful explanations, but she didn't dare. She'd lost control of this situation. "It was selfish of me, and I'm sorry, Kondo."
"Your reason was…curiosity…" His tone was incredulous at best. "That was going to be the test of my worth, how well I could bed you…"
"You don't get it you great ape!" she hissed, a sudden flash of annoyance rippling through her. "I want to see the you behind all the antics. I want to take away all those layers, expose the you I've seen glimpses of in the last year. I don't know how else to do it without putting us in that kind of vulnerability." Then, she hung her head. "Does that make me selfish? Perhaps it does after all."
The silence that hung in the air was stifling. Tae was completely unsure whether he'd leave or face her once more. Of course, he was still deciding that for himself. At last he cracked. "About as selfish as the way I keep an eye on you." Slowly he spun around, instantly surprised by Tae's chastised demeanor. It was highly unusual for the fiery young woman. "So, you want to know how serious I can be…tell me Otae-san, will the house remain empty for the rest of the night?"
Her heart immediately began to pound at the implications, paired with the intensity of his gaze. That Kondo, that was what she wanted without a doubt right here right now. The fearless, unyielding swordsman and leader, voice low but simmering with passion. She was barely able to form the words "Shinpachi is staying at Odd-Jobs tonight…"
"And one more very important thing: are you one hundred percent sure about this, Otae-san? You will not wake up with regrets in the morning?"
Of course she might. He might actually be really bad at this and she'd have to turn him away the next time. But that didn't stop her from wanting to know. "I've made up my mind, Kondo-san. Why do you question?"
He sighed. "I can't tell how much of it is the alcohol talking at this point."
She wanted to be indignant, but couldn't pull it off. It was actually very considerate of him. "It makes me brave, it doesn't put ideas in my mind that weren't already there. Please, Kondo-san…"
This seemed to put him at ease. "Then come inside and shut the door." He led the march inside, which seemed strange until she thought about how many times he'd probably snuck in and how well he actually knew the place… She scurried to follow, and fumbled to lock the door behind her. Kondo was already digging in the closet for a futon. Again, he would know where everything was in the closets! Unconsciously, Tae began to untie the obi around her waist. Damn, she must look so desperate, but she couldn't seem to control herself…
When Kondo turned to lay the futon out, he noticed her clumsy actions. In one large stride he reached her and held her hand at her waist. "Otae-san, if we are going to do this, it has to be on my terms. Just a guess, but I think they will be stricter than yours."
Tae blushed. He wasn't trying to, but he made her feel like a wanton mess while he remained an anchor of virtue. "Very well, I'll even let you call the shots. How do you want to do this?"
"Very to the point," he noted with a frown. His tone was unreadable. "First of all, I don't want you to undress."
She stared, no small amount of frustration on her face. "How do you plan to…"
"Trust me, Otae-san. Can you do that?" Now his eyes were demanding. Ah, so this was a test, a way to prove there was something there besides the basic urge to tumble.
"Yes," she sighed, sounding like a petulant child. It didn't last. Kondo released his grip on her hand and scooped her up easily. Already Tae flushed with excitement as she rested her head against his firm, chiseled chest. Despite his controlled demeanor, his own heartbeat gave him away. He was just as excited as she was. Silently he moved to lay her out on the futon. Then he just stood there for a second, drinking in the sight of Tae spread before him. Somewhere in her haze, she decided he looked hungry, eager to devour her.
Finally he knelt down, running firm, calloused hands under her yukata and along the inside of her legs, peeling the fabric open. She shivered. "Otae-san…your skin is like silk…" His words came out half growl half moan. Fingers traced lazy circles, working her up more than she ever would have imagined, especially alongside his awed facial expressions. Gradually his hands ventured higher and higher until he was caressing her inner thighs. When his knuckles accidently brushed against her dampness, his face turned bright red.
"Yes, Kondo, more," she encouraged, nudging her hips up so his hand bumped against her core again. For a split-second, she thought he was going to faint again, but the Shinsengumi leader was able to buckle down when there was something he wanted. Inhaling deeply to fortify his will, he reached up to her hips, massaged her hipbones with his thumbs for a moment, then slid her underwear down her shapely legs. If he didn't have something even better in front of him being offered willingly, he would have been tempted to take them and run like his typical pervert self. As it was, he numbly tossed them aside.
She expected the next step would be for him to unfasten his pants and free himself, but to her surprise he simply hoisted her legs and let them rest on his broad shoulders, letting her yukata fall open to reveal her most intimate location. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "K-Kondo-san?" she stammered, but he said nothing, only leaned forward to employ his mouth in other ways.
He kissed her there the way he had always wanted to kiss her mouth. His eyes closed, he focused all his efforts on the patterns his tongue blazed as it spread her. He could feel her instantly tense and squeeze her thighs around his head. This reassured him. He'd never actually done this particular act before, and he was worried he'd be a disappointment, relying entirely on his devotion and passion to please her. He heard his name repeatedly, first as soft pants and long groans, but soon escalating to clipped shouts and harsh cries as he intensified his assault. A sharp suck where she was most sensitive was enough to send her spiraling through bliss. For this he opened his eyes, to memorize the way she looked as she came unraveled. He continued to gently work her as she came back down, moaning at the way her hands gripped the futon below her. What would it be like for her to grip him with that kind of desperation?
When he'd gotten her through her climax, he finally pulled away and removed her legs from him. Through half-closed eyes, she could see the way his chin glistened in the dim light. Even though she had just finished, a fresh wave of pleasure roiled inside of her. "Kondo-san…"
He wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure if he knew what to say. He'd probably ruin it if he tried. At least before his mouth was occupied, so he had an excuse… All he could do was gaze at her with his chest heaving, eyes soft and adoring. Tae seemed to understand his hesitation. "Will you remove your clothes now? I think you've more than earned it…"
"No." His reply was blunt, and it shocked her. Before she could question him, he sat cross-legged on the floor and pulled her into his lap facing away from him. His body was burning, and there was no way he was saying 'no' because he didn't want it; she could feel him pressing against her backside as she sat on him. It must have been painful at this point, so why didn't he…
His hands parted her yukata and more, massaging and stimulating her. She'd never known how good those hands, those fingers, would feel on her body. Even the calluses from training with swords gave a delicious sensation. As her mind disappeared into the fog of pleasure, she cursed that she might not be able to look at his hands the same way ever again. He pushed her over the edge this way not once, but twice, the final time hissing her name in her ear.
Tae was an exhausted mess. Between his attentions and the alcohol, she could hardly keep her eyes open. As she recovered from her last session, she felt more than observed him pulling her off his lap. Then being laid onto the futon. Then being covered by a blanket. And then she was asleep with a contented smile on her face.
Kondo could have sat there all night watching her peaceful, happy expression as she slept. He was a stalker by nature, after all. However, he had more pressing matters to attend to. Once he was certain she was out, he fairly flew to the bathroom and locked the door, stripping out of his pants and undergarments and practically crying with relief to be free. He'd impressed himself tonight; despite the tell-tale moisture at the crotch (which she'd thankfully been too overwhelmed to notice), he'd held off. NOT an easy feat when she was writhing against him… Finishing stripping, he jumped into the shower and began running the water. It wouldn't take much, and he was not going to make a mess. A few sucks on his fingers where he could still taste her, a few rough tugs, and he was spilling all over himself. He knew the sound of the water would muffle his voice, but even still he refused to wake her, to the point where he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood to keep him from crying out. It was the most intense it had ever been in years.
Once he was cleaned off and toweled off, he got dressed, frustrated at not having anything clean to put on. Then, he returned to the sitting area where he'd left Tae to sleep. He sat on the tatami mats and watched her for quite some time, alone with his thoughts. She was so beautiful like this… Had she been satisfied? Had his serious side been what she was hoping for? Would she want more? And then he realized he couldn't stay and face her in the morning; he was scared. Would it be awkward? Would she regret even though she said she wouldn't? And what if someone came looking for her in the morning and caught her with him? She could say all she wanted that she didn't care, but he did for her sake. No one would give him grief for passing the night with a beautiful young woman after all. Resolved, Kondo finally rose.
Part of him wanted to lean down and whisper in her ear that he loved her, but he couldn't. For all he knew, Tae was looking for a night of pleasure and nothing else. Until he knew her intentions, he couldn't say those words like he would have that morning. Instead, he went to retrieve her underwear, still sitting where they had been unceremoniously flung earlier, and went to put them in the laundry basket where they belonged. No sense in ruining things by running off with them, even if they did smell of her arousal and he knew he had been the cause and… Kondo had to smack himself upside the head before he got lost on that train of thought. He was NOT going to take a second shower.
Finally, he reached into his pocket and withdrew his headband. That, he decided, was how he'd leave this. Tae mildly protested in her sleep as he pulled the covers back so he could tuck the headband between her obi and her yukata, out of sight, but somewhere she would find it. Satisfied, he tucked her back in. Time to go.
Tae was so out of it she didn't even wake up when Kondo tripped on the forgotten sake cups and jar out on the porch, shattering the ceramic, and swearing under his breath.
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"Tae-chan, are you seriously still in bed? How late were you up last night?"
Tae groaned and rolled over, but someone insistently poked her. "Knock it off…"
"Sis, you must have really hit the sake last night with Kondo-san, huh?"
"With…oh!" Her eyes flew open and scanned the room. There was a very conspicuous absence of Kondo. All she saw was Shinpachi, who seemed to be scolding her like she was a naughty child, arms folded across his chest. "What time is it?" What she really wanted to ask was where Kondo was.
"Almost ten o'clock. Geez sis, you left quite the mess out on the porch. I almost cut my foot of the shards of your sake cups! Just how drunk did you get?"
Tae was about to protest that they hadn't been smashing any cups last night and that she was very confused as to why they were in pieces, but thought better of it. This was a much better accusation than 'Were you sleeping with Kondo'. "I only had three cups…" she muttered, scowling.
Shinpachi shook his head. "You know you don't handle your alcohol very well. I suppose you need something to eat. I'll go find something in the kitchen, you just get up, alright?"
"Whatever. Be right there." She waited until her younger brother left the room to sit up, rubbing her temples. Was she crazy? Kondo HAD spent the night, right? She hadn't been THAT drunk… The realization that she had no underwear on only confirmed this. So he'd left before getting caught. And when she looked around, she added 'stealing her underwear' to her list of accusations. Oh, she had a lot to sort out. First though, she had to change clothes and humor Shinpachi so he wouldn't ask her anymore questions.
Grabbing a fresh yukata and pair of underwear, she headed to the bathroom to change. When she removed her obi, a scrap of white cloth came fluttering to the ground. Where did that come from? Frowning, she studied it, and instantly her stomach turned. Shinsengumi Taicho. Kondo may have gone, but he'd left his calling card. Shaking a bit, she finished undressing and moved to put the dirty laundry away, only to find the underwear in question already in the basket. He'd picked up after her. Also, there was a towel, and she didn't remember showering. Wait. He'd showered last night? Why…oh! Tae sat down on the toilet and held her face in her hands. Last night he'd never…he'd had to take care of himself. She felt tears starting to prickle the corners of her eyes. Literally everything he'd done last night had been so unselfish, even after how demanding she'd been. She felt like a fool, and a horrible one at that.
"Sis, are you coming?"
She swore quietly. "Yeah, hold on will you?" Standing up abruptly, she began to pull on her clothes. There was no time to think about it right now, but she would figure out what to tell him.
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"Kondo's really spacey today," Hijikata muttered between sword-thrusts.
"He's always spacey, haven't you noticed?" Okita dead-panned, turning to thrust at Hijikata. The elder parried, always on guard for his comrade's random bouts of violence.
"More than usual. Or maybe just different than usual. He's always crazy-spacey, not sullen-spacey."
"Didn't he go out last night?" Okita attacked with a renewed vigor. "I bet he went to see Shimura Tae. Bet she beat him senseless."
"Yeah, well, that happens all the time and doesn't put him in a funk," Hijikata countered, verbally and physically. "Maybe she finally got a boyfriend so Kondo hasn't got a shot anymore." Both paused their sparring to watch their leader, constantly rehearsing his sword blows with the duty of rote memorization. It was clear his head wasn't actually in it, as his glazed expression indicated.
Just then, a rock came sailing over the compound wall where they'd set up a make-shift training ground. As if guided by divine intervention, it arced straight at Kondo, knocking him square over the head. With a howl, he flailed dramatically to the ground.
"Well, that's more like him," Okita observed dryly, sheathing his sword. It was clear he wanted to investigate the scene of the crime.
Hijikata was more on edge. They'd only been back in the city for a day and already rocks were being thrown at them? "Stay sharp, Okita." The pair hurried over to Kondo. "Hey Kondo, are you all right?"
He sat up, blinking in a daze. "Whatwazzat?" He gingerly touched his forehead and hissed in pain.
"This rock." Okita picked it up and held it out matter-of-factly. "They even decorated it nicely."
When Kondo looked at the stone in Okita's hand, his eyes widened in recognition. Tied around the stone was a deep blue ribbon. A ribbon he had often seen wrapping soft-brown tresses, pulling them back out of her stunning face. This was Tae's token, and perhaps her answer. A grin of sheer joy plastered itself on his face before he fell back in a dead faint.
"I think the stone really got him good…"