A Bleached Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Otherwise I'd have Renji strapped to a train track. Unfortunately, since he's Kubo-sama's, I can only write about it.
Ichigo clutched his face as he doubled over the sink. His stomach roiled; he felt sick, sick beyond the physical constraints of his body. Faint laughter echoed through his mind. The reverberation grated against his nerves and threatened to overwhelm his senses.
He just wanted to rip the demon out of his body, to throw it up against the wall and pulverize it until those gleeful yellow eyes burst and melted down its face--
"Thinking violent thoughts, are we, King?" a sly voice interjected.
Ichigo inhaled sharply. It had sounded right in his ear. He glanced to the side, but he was alone.
"Alone, King?" the voice said maliciously. "I'm so hurt. You have me to talk to, you know. Let's just enjoy each others' company."
"Shut up." His voice was hoarse, unsteady.
"You're on your last limb, Ichigo," it continued. Its patronizing voice dripped with condescension. God, that thing was annoying. And persistent. "You're starting to get into the fight. It's growing on you, Ichigo."
"Shut up."
"You've begun to seek out these fights." The voice swelled with delight. "How long until you begin to endanger your family? Put your friends on the line?"
Ichigo's head jerked side to side. "No--"
It cut through his denial. "I'll take my time, Ichigo. You're descending without my help. I'll just sit back and watch until it's my turn."
Ichigo stared down into the swirling waters of the basin. He didn't trust himself to speak yet. The truth was, he knew his sanity was slipping out of reach. He didn't know how long it would take. All he knew was that the time was fast approaching. Finally he tested his voice.
"I-I'll protect them," he said. His shaking pitch betrayed him. "I'll protect them from you. You won't get anywhere near them, any of them."
The thing laughed quietly. Through all its jeers and taunts and vindictive comments, this shook him the most. The simple laugh unnerved him and swept away his remaining confidence.
"But can you protect them from yourself, Ichigo?"
Ichigo tried to make his mind work. "What?"
"I said," it smirked, "can you protect them from what you have become? Someday you'll lose control, Ichigo, and they'll be the first to die. They're the closest to you." Ichigo, wide-eyed, stared ahead. It closed in. "What will you do then... Ichigo?"
A short, clipped sob escaped his control. The pitiful sound shocked him, reminded of his own weakness. Weak. He was weak.
What would he do? A protector with nothing to protect is useless. Value in his existence would diminish to nothing.
Protect. The man who was supposed to protect the ones he loved may end up being the one to end their lives. So ironic. Funny.
So funny.
Hysterical laughter welled up, bursting through his chest and choking his wits. He couldn't help it. He sank to the floor, alternating between gasping and choking and laughing; he felt the voice join his own, rising up and adding its own laughter until they were joined in madness, entangled and fused until he wasn't sure whether they were separate entities of mind and consciousness.
Eventually the voice melted away and Ichigo was left alone with his thoughts.
Ah, that wasn't very long. This is my first attempt at any fiction, let alone fanfiction, so honest reviews are appreciated.