a/n: I need to point out that this Alice is NOT the Alice from "Once Upon a Time in Wonderland". This is my own interpretation of teenage!Alice from the Lewis Carroll novels. Okay, just needed to clear that up. Read on!
Staffordshire, England, 1874.
The clinking of wine glasses and mindless chatter blend together to fill the spacious room with noise. A long, narrow table runs down the center of the room and roughly forty people are sitting at it yet the room still didn't even feel half full. I am toying around with my food, twirling my fork around the plate. It is the fourth course but I had lost my appetite on the second. If my mother could see me now she would definitely scold me for my lack of table manners but she is too deep in conversation with the man on her left to pay any attention to me. She had introduced me to him before the meal began but his name quickly slipped my mind so he can't have been that important.
I let my fork fall onto my plate as I sat back in my chair, the laces of my corset begging me to loosen them. I look down the table, my eyes skimming over each person. I don't even recognise half the people seated here which I think is strange because they are all in my home. Surely I should know the majority of these people, yes? Obviously not. My mother holds these parties once every few months and these guests are all members from her ladies' social club who have brought along their husbands to accompany them. But I swear there are different guests at each party. The parties are celebrating nothing in particular. I think my mother just holds them since we're wealthy and we can afford to do so.
I shake my head and look down at my partially full plate. Everyone seems to be in conversation with another yet everything they talk about is either pointless, boring or a mixture of both. Everybody seems to be talking about the same thing; politics, business, scandals that weren't really scandals. Absolute nonsense. I know that at sixteen years of age, I will soon be thrust into this adult world and I too will be holding unnecessary parties and talking about absolute nonsense with the older children who were not given a choice and were thrown into this mature world without a life ring to keep them afloat.
I watch my mother, trying to find a brief break in her conversation with the man on her left so I could cut in and ask to be excused. When my chance comes my mother looks shocked for a moment as if she had forgotten that I had been sitting here the whole night. It would not surprise me at all. She excuses me and I stand up from my seat, smoothening out the creases on my periwinkle blue skirts. I hastily exit the room, sighing in relief as the noise drains out behind me. I decide that fresh air is needed so I find the back door and step out into the cool night. Goosebumps rise on my bare arms so I cross my arms tightly against my torso, trying my best to insulate the heat. I could run back inside to grab my coat but I don't want to enter that house again just yet. I stroll aimlessly through our seemingly endless garden until I come to one of my favourite spots. The sycamore tree.
I lean against the trunk, letting my head rest against the tough bark. I let out a low sigh. That life inside that house is not what I want. I want to be free. I want to do whatever I please and not have anyone criticising me for doing so. I don't want to be pushed into a marriage organised by my mother and a complete stranger. I want to find my own love and marry them when I'm ready. I don't want to discuss politics or gossip about scandals with people. I want to exchange adventerous stories and poems. I want to tell them stories of Wonderland.
I smile fondly at the memory of Wonderland. It has been years since I last visited that funny place. Everyday I wonder how the people are getting on. Are the Madhatter and the March Hare enjoying their unbirthday party? Are the flowers stil singing? Where is the Cheshire Cat right about now? How are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? My smile falters slightly as I come to the realization that I probably will never see these people again. I am not the seven year old little girl anymore. I am a sixteen year old young woman now. They have probably forgotten all about me.
I would give anything to return to Wonderland or any kind of land at least. Anywhere is better than here. There were no boundaries in Wonderland and my life wasn't set out for me like it is here.
Out of the corner of my eye I see small glimmering lights zoom past. My head snaps around to see what it is but they are moving to fast for me to be able to make them out. I bunch up my skirts in my hands and begin running to try and catch up with them and see what they are. They disappear suddenly and I'm left standing in front of two wide holes in the earth. Each one of has a wooden sign over it with a word painted on it. The light is too dim for me to make out the two words so I wait until my eyes adjust and when they do my heart leaps.
There, above the hole on my right, is the word "Wonderland" painted in a neat cursive hand. A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. It's been almost ten years. I am finally going to return to Wonderland. I am so happy at the thoughts of returning to Wonderland that I forget to take a look at the second sign. I tilt my head, confused at what I see. "Dnalrednow" is painted on the sign in a sloppier, thicker hand. What could that possibly mean?
It takes me a couple of minutes to figure out that the second sign is "Wonderland" backwards. My eyebrows knit together in puzzlement as I examine the two signs. My heart is telling me to go through the hole on my right but as I stare longer at the two signs doubt begins to cloud my judgement. Suddenly, a light flickers on inside my head giving me a bright idea. Wonderland is always backwards. So if it wanted me to make a choice between two passages, it knew that I would instinctively choose the right hole. Which is why they decided to make the other hole, the one with the backwards sign, the correct passage to Wonderland because they made the correct option the opposite to the option I would have chosen in the first place.
I confidently stride over to the left hole and get down on my hands and knees, not caring about the dirt rubbing against my skirts. I peer into the opening cautiously. It is pitch black and I cannot make out a single thing. I have no idea if it goes straight, drops down or curves upwards. I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself and begin crawling. The answer to the question of which directon the passage goes is soon answered as I plummet downwards, my skirts flapping above my head. I can feel my blonde curls becoming loose of their pins. I try my best to bat my skirts down because if there happens to be someone at the bottom of the hole, I don't want to be giving them a show of my undergarments. My bottom soon comes in contact with a rough floor and I yell out in shock of the sudden impact. I hold my skirts close to my legs as I rocket down the shute. I can hear slight rips and tears forming on my dress as I bolt over the coarse foundation.
I see light up ahead and I feel a wave of relief wash over me as it must meant that I am nearing the end of this harsh ride. I shall soon be in Wonderland once more. The light gets brighter and the opening becomes wider as I shoot through, landing face first onto the grassy floor. I groan in pain as I slowly push myself up off the ground and sit back on my heels. I open my eyes slowly, a feeling of contentment radiating through my body at the though of finally being back in Wonderland. But when my open my eyes, my body freezes and my heart rate quickens.
There standing in front of me are a group of boys that appear no older than myself. Each one of them has a look of suspicion about them and that is why my heart is currently in my mouth. Hoods cover their heads so I can only see a small portion of their faces. The boy in the middle I assume is their leader. He is the only one not wearing a hood. He is tall and lanky, a mop of brown curls sitting atop his head. He tilts his head as he takes in my appearance, his green eyes skimming over me.
"What do we have here, boys?" He says, a smirk stretching across his face. A low hum of laughter is heard from the hooded boys. I quickly stand up, dusting the dirt off and smoothing down my skirts. I run a hand through my blonde curls, letting them fall loosely over my shoulder.
"Hello, how do you do?" I say as cheerfully as I can manage, despite my fear of the group of strangers. I decide to get away from here as quickly as I can. "I'm terribly sorry for my rude arrival. I'm afraid I don't know where I am. I've never been to this part of Wonderland before. Could you boys please help me?"
Laughter erupts from the group, the boy in the middle is nearly doubled over in laughter. My eyebrows pull together in confusion before I decide to follow their lead and laugh nervously along with them. Their leader wipes at his eye before turning back to his group.
"What did she say? "Wonderland"?" This causes more snickers to burst from the group. "There ain't no wonders here, love." He swaggers towards me, the boys still laughing and nudging one another behind him. He folds his arms, looking me up and down. The smirk is still plastered on his smug little face. He reaches out his hand and begins to play with one of my blonde curls. "What's your name, dearie?"
"I beg your pardon?" I say, pushing his hand away from my hair.
"You don't have to beg for anything from me all I asked was your name." The group of boys seemed to get a great kick out of that line because break out into laughter once more. Feelings of annoyance and confusion begin to mix insde me. I look up at him, blowing a strand of my hair off my face.
"Alice. My name is Alice." He nods once before stretching his hand out towards me. I study it for a moment, looking for a sign of anything skeptical about this gesture. I gingerly reach my hand out to his and shake it once but before I can pull away he tightens his grip and pulls me towards him. I let out a small gasp at the sudden movement and his smirk reappears on his face.
"How do you do, Alice? My name's Peter. Peter Pan. Welcome to Neverland."