A/N: Hello, this is NamiLoveLess again, with yet another MapleStory fanfiction. Just as a note that might be important, this is the sequel to my previous one-shot "Reminiscence", so even though reading Reminiscence is not necessary, it might clear up the basics so you know the back story.
This is, in fact, going to be multi-chaptered, so it will be updated continually when there is more to add until the conflict is resolved. (As of now, it has not, if you couldn't tell.) So enjoy the story; if you are ever confused, or I seem to have been inconsistent, don't hesitate to point it out.
Oh, right, and before I forget, I wanted to reply to the review from Randomness from Boredom, if you happen to be reading this—I'm so glad you liked it! A C2? I feel so greatly honored X3 Anyway, thank you very much! Oh, and the Rai I was referring to was a character named RAISTLIN (I never figured out which I's were really L's XD), but I don't know if he still plays that character. Nice to see the strange coincidence, though.
To martelswrath and Nyantsen, if they happen to be reading this: Thank you. You are probably the best guild leaders I have ever had. Don't lose hope!
Well, nothing left to do but to get on with the story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own MapleStory, LoveLess, IoveIess, or any of the characters involved except Namina, who I technically do not own, either.
'I wonder what Gawk and Martel are doing out there, somewhere…'
This thought was echoing throughout my head, bouncing around in the empty space that my brain seemed to have deserted as I slashed my staff through the air, a burst of ice impaling a Tauromacis. A beastly roar filled the air as it collapsed, a bundle of orange tickets dropping to the ground as the corpse dematerialized into dust. An assassin, clad in a hooded sweatshirt and baggy pants, grabbed them from the ground and disappeared into a portal, beckoning for us to follow.
Yes, even during the rush of a hurried Party Quest, my previous Guild Masters still inhabited my memories, reminding me of them even at the most inconspicuous times. I heaved a sigh as I ran through numerous portals, my staff—a gift from a friend to me—grasped firmly in my gloved hand. As I leaped into the final waiting room, the assassin grinned and waved the thick bundle of tickets as us, jumping in his excitement at our success during this particular run. He presented the tickets to the judge—so to speak, in my opinion at least—and we were immediately teleported to the prize lobby.
"Hey, Nami, hurry up and finish your party questing; I'm hungry!" I heard the petulant voice of Kai from my earpiece, and I groan to myself, tossing a quick "I'm hurrying, already!" to her as my prize is tossed to me and I am hurriedly escorted out of the lobby. I tell the assassin that I have to leave, and at his approval and farewell, I close my eyes and snap our link with a quick burst of concentration, breaking my bond from the party.
"Okay, Kai, I'm coming soon, so stop complaining." My breath, which had been coming in a cross between gasping and panting, began to slow as I relaxed, slowing down from a sprint to a stroll. The laughter and casual banter of my guild mates was picked up by my earpiece, and I listened halfheartedly as I stopped at a nearby merchant to sell my prizes. It was a normal day for me; the chattering from my friends and guild mates cheered me up as I looked up, gazing at the clear sky.
It had been four months since I had departed from my old guild, LoveLess, where two of my closest friends still resided. Yet their current location was unknown, for their contact with us had been abandoned for what was—as it seemed to me—an infinite amount of time.
Four months. That was more like sixteen weeks. One hundred twenty-two days. Two thousand, nine hundred twenty-eight hours. One hundred seventy-five thousand, six hundred eighty minutes. Ten million, five hundred forty thousand, eight hundred seconds. Why did it feel to me as though every second had been ten times as long as it really was? Why did the echoes of my old leaders' voices still reverberate throughout my mind? Why haven't I been able to move on from someone I had turned my back on the minute I tore up that invitation?
It was because I was a coward. I was afraid that they might come back some day, in some unexplainable way, and that they would know that I left them—no, not just me, but everyone who was now inhabiting the new branch. I was afraid that my friends would think that they had been forgotten and left to waste away; if they did come back, their thoughts might turn to the possibility that we had betrayed them. All of these thoughts—and more—mixed with my worry, until they created a vortex that could have swallowed my sanity in an instant. Yet I knew that even though these reasons were part of my worry, the real reason was much less noble and was much more truthful with my own desires.
I was afraid that they were really never coming back.
I could not deny that the other members of LoveLess were still enjoyable to have as company; truth be told, they were the ones that made me smile every day the moment I heard their voices. Ironic, wasn't it—the ones who I cared about the most were actually the ones who had rent my heart into pieces such a long time ago? Truth be told, I had created bonds with more of the newer guild mates; although some were admittedly inexperienced, they learned fast and many of them proved to be a companionable person. But the thought of being separated from two friends for eternity without even a final farewell was a thought I could hardly bear.
I purchased some items from the merchant, setting down some coins on the counter. I picked them up carefully, balancing them clumsily as my arms struggled to hold all of the packages, and the merchant's mouth turned up slightly as he watched my entertaining balancing act. I looked down at my staff, which lay on the counter, unable for me to pick it up without dropping everything. The merchant grinned and picked it up for me and held it out, offering it to me. I fumbled with a couple of the packages before I managed to grasp it with one of my hands.
"Th-thank you."
The merchant said nothing, only nodded in acknowledgement, the smile still set on his face.
I set off in the direction of the village, still deep in thought. I wondered whether any of the other ex-members of LoveLess still carried the memory of Gawk and Martel with them. Although we sometimes half-heartedly spoke a sentence or two about them, lamenting their absence, Gawk and Martel had generally disappeared from our list of usual topics. Had our two leaders also forgotten about us? Did they ever wonder how we were doing without them? I stopped walking and shook my head. Too many questions.
My thoughts turned to the current system in the new branch of LoveLess. As Majeh had promised, I had in fact regained my status as a Jr. Master—despite the fact that my title had not been granted to me until one month after I joined. It was true that I had only been re-promoted only after I had requested it personally—but was the Master really at fault? Surely she had more pressing matters to worry about aside from the rankings of her followers. I began walking again, one step after another, following each other in a steady path.
Perhaps it was my late entrance to the guild that seemed to have given me a lower ranking in comparison to the other Jr. Masters. In my opinion, however, the lesser preference towards me was probably due to my ties to the leader. After all, I had been a close friend of Martel and Gawk, which had explained my "higher status" among the Jr. Masters regardless of my time of entry.
Chi, on the other hand, had Majeh and Rain—and possibly Butta? She seemed to act that way—in her inner circle. I was important to her, yes, but not as important. Compared to my past ranking, my lesser position made me feel like a mere follower. My opinion was appreciated, but not required. I was someone whose advice was practically given to the leader through the voice of her greater assistants. I was obsolete. Unnecessary.
Expendable.
I shook my head violently. Who was I to say that I was so non-important? I was being selfish. A selfish, self-absorbed girl who only wanted to be admired and greatly appreciated by her leaders. A spoiled brat who desired having a voice that would be heard and considered properly in a way that almost made herself a co-leader.
A girl who missed the attention and care given to her by some of her most important friends…
I tried to get rid of the thought and looked straight ahead, determined to find some cheerful part of my present life. I smiled at a few passerby and held a couple meaningless conversations. I gave directions to a grateful-looking girl who seemed to be thoroughly lost, as though she had ended up in the wrong world. And as the sun began to set, the fiery rays coloring the sky, I remembered the items in my arms and ran towards the village, hoping that Kai wouldn't be too upset for my tardiness.
But as I neared the house, I heard a click from my earpiece. Someone had just connected to the communication systems. I did not bother to check the name of the person; I simply ignored the click and continued to hurry towards the house.
"Hey, guys, long time no see, huh?"
I stopped in mid-step, the items tumbling out of my arms and falling to the floor, where many of them broke into numerous pieces. My eyes widened in shock; my staff clattered to the floor, but I was not aware of any of these events happening around me. Time seemed to have stopped.
I knew that voice.
It was Gawk.