Dresden vs. The Fan Group

Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belong to Jim Butcher and the Scifi Channel. The following fan fiction is based on how Harry Dresden might respond to certain real fan groups. The name of the fan group has been changed to protect the... eh... innocent... Yeah... innocent...

To add to this disclaimer, I actually love shippers. This is just meant to be taken in good fun.

The concept of this story was originally brought to me by Sarah Judd.

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Dresden vs. The Fan Group

The phone rang in Murphy's office at around half past noon. It was a slow day and that was the first phone call she had all day so she grabbed it and answered after just one ring. Murphy answered. 'Lieutenant Murphy speaking.'

'Yeah, Murphy...'

She recognized the voice immediately. Dresden was extremely useful in regard to the matter of solving cases but there were times she just did not want to have to deal with his spooky stuff. She sounded a little exasperated as she spoke. 'What do you want, Dresden?'

'Listen, I need you to do something for me on your computer 'cause you know... I can't.'

That caught Murphy by surprise. What did Dresden want off the Internet? Whatever it was it had to be important. Dresden avoided computers like the plague, mostly because they tended to 'mysteriously' short out in front of him or worse yet... explode.

'I need you to go to a certain web page.'

'Okay,' Murphy said. After Dresden told her the address she typed it into the browser and waited for the page to load. Before the page had loaded she said 'So what am I looking at?'

Then the page loaded...

On the page was a large photograph of Harry Dresden looking as if he was about to passionately kiss a white haired man that Murphy did not recognize. The white haired man looked as if he had been digitally added to the photograph to look as if he and Dresden were lovers. Someone had clearly discovered the Photo Shop programme. Murphy read the words blazed across the screen 'Dead Man and Wizard Romance.'

'Dresden, Don't tell me you...'

'NO!' Dresden must have known somehow what she was looking at because the disgust in his voice was apparent. He shuddered privately. Sure he liked Bob. Okay, maybe he loved Bob. Bob had been a father figure to him and teacher. Bob was his closest friend besides Murphy. But to know there were young girls 'squeeing' and somehow even knowing of Bob's existing and twisting their lives into some sort of...

'Dresden it says here that you and some guy named Bob-'

'We didn't!'

Murphy was smirking and she knew somehow Dresden could sense her smirk. 'But it says...'

'NO, Murphy. Just... No!'

'Okay. Okay. So what do you want me to do here?'

'Just type for me this message. "I hate you all."'

The end.