This Night

In the darkness of my chamber, I listened to the soft, steady breathing of the body beside me. For a creature so burdened by hate, it was surreal to see him so at peace. I shifted beneath the covers to look upon him and, not the first time, I was in awe. Fenris had been through so much, caused so much suffering through no action of his own, and my heart, although broken by his plight, swelled with pride every time he confronted his past.

My greedy eyes took in his form; from his shocking white hair that framed his slight yet stony face, to the landscape of his body, covered by the lyrium brands he so hated. I had been pleasantly surprised to find only hours ago just how far the markings reached, and I now longed to trace those markings again with a gentle, loving touch.

He had come to me, waiting in the foyer of my home, with anger, sadness and regret in his eyes. That day we had tracked down one of his past tormentors, and he had shown no mercy to her. While I have never relished violence, I could not deny the stirring in my loins at witnessing him crush the beating heart of his former master's apprentice. I was glad to see the bitch dead, and although I had offered him a few consoling words, he fled the caves in anger, brushing me aside. I forgave him his harshness...I would forgive him anything.

I worried about him all day, and ached for him at the same time. I know he resented me, for I am a mage, and he has reasons to hate my kind. From the moment we met, out relationship had been turbulent, filled with arguments and disagreements, but there was more beneath it, that was only the surface. When I saw him pacing the hall of my estate, I knew.

He apologised, as if he ever needed to. He explained himself, like it was ever necessary. Then, with tired eyes, said it was a mistake to trouble me like this. He moved to leave, but I simple couldn't let him. I grabbed his arm, and the lyrium markings that adorned him flared bright. He grabbed my arms, and suddenly his lips were on mine. I took charge, pinned him to the wall, and vowed to make him feel my love for him.

We moved quickly to my chamber and wasted no time in discarding our armour. He pulled me eagerly into the bed, and for next few hours we made love to one another. He hates me, I know, but the line between love and hate has never been well defined.

Now, hours later, he lies beside me. I lie on me side and stare at him. I love this man, this Elf, this slave. I love him with every beat of my heart, and I lust for him with every moment.

"You are staring at me." Came a quiet mumble from twixt his lips. I had not even noticed he was awake; the cadence of his breathing had not changed.

"I can't help it." I said with a smile. He makes me smile, and few people do.

"You're also poking me in the leg." He added, opening one eye to look at me. Indeed, just the thought of him was enough to make the blood rush in a southerly direction. Having him here beside me, feeling the warmth of his naked form, was a temptation too great to resist.

"Oh, I didn't even try to help that." I muttered. He smiled, a truly wonderful sight.

"You cannot sleep?" he asked, opening both eyes now and turning his head on the pillow to face me.

"Why would I want to sleep? I have the one I desire most in my bed. You do not ache for someone for so long, and then sleep when you finally have them." I said, brushing a strand of his hair away from his eyes.

"I knew I was doing something wrong." He muttered. Sarcasm suits him.

A gasp escaped my lips as his hand moved to touch me in such a way that took my breath away. The feeling of his hand, calloused from wielding a sword for so long, caressing me like that, sent my head spinning. I leaned over him and captured his lips with mine; his other hand found the back of my neck and pulled me closer. Finally he pulled me to lie over him and stared into my eyes.

"Make love to me again, Hawke." He said, somewhere between a command and a plea.

"It would be my pleasure." I said with a sly grin. He caressed my body with a gently touch and sighed into my hair.

"Your pleasure is all I desire now." He whispered.

I would make love to this man; I would show him bliss and warmth and need. I would make his body tremble and quiver at my touch, I would make him gasp and beg for release with every dirty trick I knew or could imagine. I would make him feel. Most importantly, after years and years of servitude and oppression, I would show him, make him feel love. He would know love, and freedom.

We will take this night, and every night hereafter, and we will be free.